₦airaland Forum

BRIGHT & BUNMI

WHY UNA DEY ALWAYZ ' SHAME ' TO HEAR WORD NAH ?

HMM . . . THIS ONE WEY YOU DEY CALL ME ' DEARIE '. . . IM BEGINING TO HAVE CAUSE TO FEAR YOU OH

SO YOU FINALLY MADE FRONT PAGE

I AM HAPPY FOR YOU

* I never knew begging and kissing the mods arzes could pay off *

I KNOW THE PERSON IN PARTICULAR AND I HAVE WATCHED SEVERAL GAMES HIS CLUB PLAYED

HE IS A 2ND TEAM RESERVE GOALKEEPER . . . HE PLAYS ONLY 10MINUTES OF MATCH PER YEAR

HE KEEPS THE FULL BENCH WARM FOR OTHER MEMBERS OF HIS TEAM

I BELIEVE HE WARMS BENCH FOR ' BIAFRA TERMITES FC '

FOR THE GIRL TO EVEN STAND AND LOOK AT GBAGBO'S DIRTY MOUTH WHILE HE WAS BUSY PROFESSING HIS LOVE TO HER . . . MEHN SHE MUST HAVE REALLY LOVED HIM OH

TOO BAD THE LOVE DIDN'T CROSS THAT LEVEL

^^^ OL BOY COMOT FOR MY BACK SHAP SHAP

YOU NEVER CURE YA RABIS WEY YOU CONTACT WHEN BINGO BEEN BITE YOUR LEFT NYASHH FOR AGYBABE HOUSE WEY DEY MAKE YOU DEY BARK ANYHOW

EVEN THE CHOLERA WEY DEY MAKE YOU DEY MESS DEY SH.ITT UP AND DOWN THIS JOKES SECTION

ABEG FLY COMOT FOR MY BACK BEFORE YOU BITE ME JOOR

#OCCUPYNAIRALAND

MY FELLOW NAIRALANDERS . . . NA WAH OOH !

CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT WE CAN'T READ MATURE , FUNNY , INSPIRING AND CLEAN JOKES AND POSTS HERE IN THIS SECTION AGAIN

WHY NAH

IN FACT AS FROM TOMORROW LET US START OUR OWN STRIKE ON NAIRALAND . . . NO POSTING ANYTHING IN THIS JOKES SECTION TILL DANI 1 LUV CHANGES HIS NAME, BIN GBAGBO GOES TO A HERBALIST TO CURE HIS BOWEL & RABIS AND BEN 10 RETURNS FROM MARS

IF YOU AGREE WITH ME JUST POST A SIMPLE " I dey ya back " TO SHOW YOUR SUPPORT AND SOLIDARITY TO THIS NEW MOVEMENT

PEACE OUT

#OCCUPYNAIRALAND

otooro . . . you never wan go rest with this ya front page wahala ?

^^^ AND NA LACK OF 20 NAIRA TO DASH BEGGAR NA HIM CAUSE AM

YOU GO FEAR SUBSIDY NA

illuminati

I AM CRIP WALKING WITH MY HANDS THROWN IN THE AIR AND BOTH MY MIDDLE FINGERS RAISED TO THE SKY SINGING . . . 4LK GEJ , 4LK IWUALA AND 4LK THE NIGERIAN FEDERAL GOVERNMENT

* im out . . . Peace *

Joe went into his proctologist's office for a rectal exam.
Elaine, the doctor's new nurse, took him to an examining room and told him
to get undressed and have a seat until the doctor could see him.
While waiting, Joe observed that there were three items on a stand next to
the exam table:
* a Tube of K-Y jelly
* a rubber glove
* a beer
When the doctor finally came in Joe said, "Look Doc, I'm a little confused. I
know what the K-Y is for, and I know what the glove is for, but can you tell me
what the BEER is for?"
The doctor flung the door open and yelled to his nurse, "Damn it Elaine, I said
a BUTT LIGHT!"

^^^ CHECK THE 10th LINE OF THE 32nd ALPHABETH

^^^ go sleep for inside pit latrine jorr

The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If
you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss to allow
alcohol.
1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It reduces stress.
3. It leads to more honest communications.
4. It reduces complaints about low pay.
5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants
to hear.
7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
8. It encourages carpooling.
9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care.
10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
11. It makes fellow employees look better.
12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.

^^^ WETIN DEY WORK YOU NAH ? EHH ?

YOU SMOKE CASHEW LEAF ?

OYA POST YOUR JOKE NAH . . . AS YOU NO GBADUN MY ETC

AND WHICH ONE BE SAY YOU WAN COMOT ' Mickey ' FOR MY HAND ?

ME I NEVER UNDERSTAND THAT ONE OH

muyoto:
I desperately need something to cheer me up after all the gloom on the politics section. abeg one fine joke

YOU FLEW ALL THE WAY FROM POLITICS SECTION AND CAME HERE TO JOKE ABI ?

TO THIS RUN DOWN SHACK OF A BAR EHH ?

MY BRODA YOU MISS ROAD WELL WELL

ABEG TURN GO BACK YA SECTION BEFORE ONE OF THESE MISCREANTS AND NEVER DO WELLS DECIDE TO USE YOU AS CARICATURE IN HERE

DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE ?

MIKUZ JOINT RELOADED

JOOR OH !

* settles down to wrap my Mary J *

Emmyk:
Can someone translate this parable d op made in pidgin to english for me? Thanks!

ALL THIS ONE WEY YOU DEY TALK NA WASH

YOU DEY PARAMBULATE YOU SELF AS A NIGERIAN YET YOU NOR SABI COMMON PIDGIN

HOW YOU WAN TAKE SABI ENGLISH ?

* if we check am well you go be haboki *

OMG, i just saw alex Ferguson at shoprite at the palms shopping mall, i no no say Ferguson don old die oo, i intentionally brushed his shoulders sef n told im, ' Come oh . . . Wetin dey do u . . . U blind ? '.

HE TOLD ME SORRY THAT I SHOULD FLY OVER TO LONDON TOMORROW AND START TRAINING

MAKE UNA DEY PRAY FOR ME OH . . . IF E WORK OUT I GO DEY POST RECHARGE CARD 1500 FOR ALL NETWORKS EVERYDAY

* na ETC be dis oh . . . So nor come here dey ask me where joke dey *

I NOR BLAME UNA WEY DEY YAB MY SWEET ' ETC '

IF E NOR BE FOR THIS USELESS BB WEY I DEY USE I FOR NO EVEN GET TIME DEY READ UNA YEYE REPLIES

Preetyebony so ur back ehh . . . I hope you are not here to torment me again oh

Bouqee I will draft a cheque to you . . . You are the right candidate to approach aso rock . . . Take araregem with you

WHAT KIND OF FILM IS THIS ?

THE WHOLE CAST IS MAD

MAYBE I GO BUST BOTTLE CHUUK AM FOR ONLY HM LEFT NYASHH

* he he he he *

bunmioguns:
*sit down gently beside d bar corner and watch as bright and likechi are abt breaking bottles on each other's head*

AND WHERE WILL THE BOTTLES APPEAR FROM ?

I COME HERE SINCE DEY JONES DEY WAIT YOU, ABI YOU GO CHECK YOUR OGA ( mikuz ) FOR YONDER

NOW BRIGHT WAN HOLD ME FOR WORK SAY HIM WAN DO MAGIC TRICK SPOIL MY LIFE WITH MONEY . . . IT CAN ONLY BE IMAGINED . . . BUT HIM GO FAIL

NO MIND AM . . . WHY YOU NOR BEEN CARRY THE CRATE OF HEINEKEN COME NAH ? AFTER I DON SPOIL BRIGHT WITH ENOUGH DRINK

bright007:
*parks ma escalade inside garage and highlights with � 50 litre keg**walk straight to bartender**emmmm, ,I wan buy fuel.

YOU NEVER USE THAT SNATCHED MOTO ROB FINISH ?

MAKE OLOKPA NO TRACE AM COME THIS BAR OH

BUNMI HELEP ME TELL AM OH

I NOR GET FAMILY OR RELATIVE FOR INSIDE KIRIKIRI OH

ALLOW ME TO RE INTRODUCE YOU ALL TO MY MOST APPLAUDED INNOVATION OF LAST YEAR CALLED

CALLED

ALSO KNOWN AS

AKA

E.T.C

* everyone applauds once again *

PLEASE CAN SOMEONE MARCH UP TO ASO ROCK ON MY BEHALF AND INFORM THE FIRST LADY THAT WE NIGERIANS HAVE RUN OUT OF ' PATIENCE ' IN THEIR GOVERNMENT

MY FAMILY RUNS A BANK AND HOSPITAL

IF YOU NEED TRANSPORT FARE OR FUNDING TO GO ON THIS ASSIGNMENT PLEASE INDICATE AND CONSIDER IT DONE

WE WILL ISSUE ALL INTERESTED PROTESTERS EAR MUFFLERS TO KEEP THE FIRST LADY'S ' VOCAL MISSILES ' AT BAY

IF YOU GET SHOT AT AND MANAGE TO RETURN ALIVE THEN OUR HEALTH FACILITY WILL CATER TO YOUR EVERY NEED

booqee:
NIGERIA'S NEW PLEDGE
¤I pledge to Nigeria my country, To be trekking,running and jogging,
To bring GEJ down with all my strength.
To check his sanity
and oppose his useless subsidy and
story, SO HELP ME ALL.

HOW VERY UN PATRIOTIC OF YOU

bin gbagbo:
*Enters bar, looks left from right, nobody watching, gets a bottle of stout, farts twice, escapes!*

SHEBI UNA DEY SEE WETIN 'EWA GWOIN' DEY CAUSE . . .

VACANCY . . . VACANCY . . . VACANCY


POSITION : bartender

JOB DESCRIPTION : providing refreshment, higness, drugz , smoke , chemicals and t0t0.


SALARY : 100 NL posts per hour