₦airaland Forum

bin gbagbo:
yeah, that,s a little punishment for derailing my thread!

AHN AHN . . . NOR BE SO NAH

WE FOR SIDON SETTLE OVER ALOMO , SKUNK & T0T0 FOR INSIDE VIP ROOM NAH

NOW DAT YA MESS DON PURSUE THE BARMAN COMOT FOR HIM BUNK

dhensity:
doctor brings it out and behold it was a cape like that of super man, could Genny son be our hero

* mean while , in another scene *

location : SYNAGOGUE CHURCH OF ALL NATIONS

enter TB on the altar :

[ HOLY - HOLY - HOLY - WAH - BA - BA - BA - SHEY - LA - LA - LA ]

FELLOW BRETREN . . . LETS PRAISE THE MOST HIGH BECAUSE A VISION WAS JUST REVEALED TO ME

THE MUCH ANTICIPATED SAVIOUR TO DELIVER US FROM THE TERRORS OF THE BOKO HARAM HAS JUST BEEN BORN

BUT THINGS ARE DARK FOR THE CHILD . . .

THE CHILD HAS BEEN CONFIRMED TO BE A BASTARD

THE MOTHER HAS ALSO BEEN CONFIRMED TO BE A WH0RE

THE HOLY SPIRIT CLAIMS RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE CONCEPTION BUT HUMAN KIND WONT HAVE ANY OF IT

THE ALLEGED FATHER IS NOW A CONFIRMED FUGITIVE , TRAITOR & CRIMINAL

THE CHILD WANTS TO BE FLYING AROUND WHILE SAVING US FROM THE BOKO TERRORISTS


[ HOLY - YAH - YAH - WAH - BA - BA - BA - SHEY - LA - LA - LA ]

BROTHERS AND SISTERS . . . WE HAVE TO ENSURE THAT NOTHING HAPPENS TO THAT CHILD

IF IT IS FLYING > > > > > > HUNTERS WILL WANT TO SHOOT IT DOWN

HE IT IS WALKING > > > > > > POLICE , ARMY , AGBERO & OMONILE WILL WANT TO CATCH AND KILL IT

IF IT IS SWIMMING > > > > > > MILITANTS , FISHERMEN & NAVY WILL ALSO CHASE IT TO KILL

SO LET US NOW ROLL ON THE GROUND AND PRAY FOR THIS OUR MESSIAH

[ HOLY - HOLY - HOLY - WAH - KA - MA - RA - SA - MA - NA - NA ]


* end of scene *

* gasping *

MY GOD . . . GBAGBO WHAT IS THIS ?

* covers eyes , nostrils & drink while calling the barman to come and sweep up the insects & rodents in the bar that have died due to the intensity of the fart *

MEHN . . . I GATZ TO HIRE THIS GUY TO FUMIGATE / FARTIGATE MY HOUSE OH

ERMM

I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO RESERVE MY COMMENT ALONG WITH ANY OTHER COMMENTS ON THIS THREAD

UNTIL MY RESERVATION IS FULL

Sophizzy:
5 months into d pregnancy, Genny is rushed 2 d hospital & delivers a well grown 6-eyed rainbow-coloured baby.

AFTER THE BABY IS DELIVERED THE DOCTOR OPENS UP GENEVIEVES T0T0 FURTHER AND EXCLAIMS

" OH MY SANGO ! . . . THERE IS STILL SOMETHING IN HERE "

Idowuogbo:
@like
My bruda cool down your face fit block womb , I rada no take chance, no b your pic amadioha deu use barren woman he wan wicked ni

NOR BE DAT YA SAME WOMB WEY NTA SHOW FOR ' EYE WITNESS ' NEWS LAST MONTH

WEY UR WOMB DEY HOLD RECORD FOR THE MOST AMOUNT OF BASTARDS PRODUCED THIS YEAR

UR WOMB CARRY LABEL (MAERSK) . . . AS NA D HIGHEST IMPORTER OF THE DECADE

EVEN ALL THE PIKIN WEY BEEN DEY COMOT FOR INSIDE DEY CARRY ' BILL OF LADEN ' COME AND NA ONLY ' CLEARING & FORWARDING ' AGENT DEY ALWAYS DELIVER U

Idowuogbo:
^lmao blood u no wicked boi

Don baba K dat pics fit give u typhoid beware lol

MY SISTER DAT PARTICULAR PIX WEY U DEY SEE FIT DO MANY THINGS

E FIT REPAIR OR SPOIL . . . HEAL OR KILL . . . DISTURB OR CALM

IF U THINK SAY I DEY JOKE EHH . . . WHEN NEXT U BEGIN DEY ' CARRY TORCH LIGHT ' DEY FIND YA PERIOD

JUST SETTLE DOWN DEY FANTASIZE ABOUT MY PIX

I PROMISE U SAY YA MENSES GO ' FALL OUT ' AT ONCE

* dat one nor mean say u go come give ya bobo go ahead to dey do u skin to skin oh . . . my face neva dey work HIV problem yet oh *

dhensity:
fresh testtimony is revealed, a 17 years old girl says as tthe hour it happened she saw sum1 climbing the feence, excaping, which she identifies as gen. Olusegun Obasanjo.

THE RETIRED GENERAL GETS SUMMONED TO THE PRELIMINARY HEARING

HE STATES THAT HE DOES NOT EVER NEED TO SNEAK OR JUMP FENCE TO 4LK GENEVIEVE

HE JUST SENDS HER A BLANK CHEQUE AND THEN INVITES HER TO HIS FARM

SHE CONFIRMED THE GENERALS STATEMENT

THE JUDGE DISMISSES THE WITNESS AND REMANDS HER IN CUSTODY FOR 1 YEAR FOR GIVING FALSE WITNESS IN COURT

THE CASE WAS ADJOURNED TILL THE NEXT MONTH (month 3 out of 9 of the pregnancy)

donigspain:
^^ Am glad its not compulsory for som1 to laugh.

WHAT THA HELL DO YOU MEAN BY SAYING IT IS NOT COMPULSORY TO LAFF

FOR 4LKZ SAKE YOU ARE IN JOKES SECTION

AND UNLESS A DEMONIC ' SPAM BOT ' DROVE YOU IN HERE

IT IS YA 4LKIN RESPONSIBILITY TO MAKE THE NATIVES OF THIS SECTION ' FART ' WITH LAUGHTER

*ps : ur joke waz ok sha . . . to me . . . TO ONLY ME OH *

DONkollione:
^^^

Abeeg helep mε̲̣̣̣̥ tell am **hits his chest hard** am da last keyboard warrior standing nor body fit stand me

But. Guy y ya nose come be lyk elevator na ̶̲̥̅̊ see ya head like " oxford dictionary "" ̶̲̥̅̊

Abeg nor vex

OMO . . . WONDERS SHALL NEVER END

SEE AS THIS RANDY HE-GOAT COOL DOWN DEY FANTASIZE ABOUT MY VERY SEXY & HANDSOME FACE

ABEG NOR PRINT MY PICTURE GO HANG FOR YOUR WALL DEY ' self-service ' OH !

NA ' BLOOD ' U GO RELEASE OH !

SHE NEVER EVEN START SELF

SHE STILL GET LIKE 6 MORE YEARS TO DAZZLE NIGERIANS

IF WE STUPIDLY VOTE FOR GEJ'S SECOND TERM

SUDDENLY BIN'S RELATIVES SHOW UP WITH A CONFIRMED LAWYER AND DECIDE TO SUE GENEVIEVE FOR IMPROPER STATEMENT AND ACCUSATION (it was dark in her house therefore she couldn't have known who 4lkd her)

AND THEY ALSO WENT AHEAD TO SUE THE PRISON WARDEN FOR NEGLIGENCE ( they put him in the same cell with CLIFFORD ORJI )

dani1luv:
You dun talk finish, na only observation I make, you come dey misyarn nonsense , If i talk now dem bin, don, and oderemo go dey beg, you be apology sef

OGBENI GO SIDON JOOR

U NOR REACH

dani1luv:
Oga, as I see you two left k-legs and your head like coconut, you go sabi yab

SO U GET MIND DEY YAB MY LEG WEN OUR MATH TEACHER BEEN DEY USE YOUR OWN LEG DEY DO ' BODMAS ' EXAMPLE FOR CLASS THAT YEAR

U DON FORGET SAY UR LEG RESEMBLE ' BRACKET ' * ( ) *

D ONE WEY VEX ME PASS BE SAY U WAN COME YAB MY HEAD

NA SO UR POPSI DRAG U GO CHECK-UP YESTERDAY NA HIM DOCTOR OPEN YOUR ' RIGHT EAR ' COME TELL UR PAPA SAY " OGA , THERE IS NOTHING ' LEFT ' INSIDE THIS EAR " . . . HIM COME TURN GO UR ' LEFT EAR' COME OPEN AM LOOK INSIDE TELL UR PAPA SAY " SAH , THERE IS NOTHING ' RIGHT ' INSIDE THIS ONE "

mikuz:
oya rush now go buy am!!

OYA I DON BUY AM

ABEG CALL THAT INVIGILATOR MAKE HIM COME SHARE QUESTION PAPER ( omo this exam go hard sha )

ERMM . . . MIKUZ

U HOLD ANY RUNZ ?

* self proclaimed * KING OF JOKES SECTION I HAIL OOO

U WERE INDEED BORN IN A MANGER LIKE THE KING JESUS CHRIST

ONLY

YOUR FATHER & MOTHER WERE ILLEGAL NIGERIAN IMMIGRANTS RUNNING TO MOROCCO WHEN YOU WERE DELIVERED

MY DEAR ' KABI-YESI ' . . . REMEMBER YOUR OWN MANGER WAS IN ' SOUTH CONGO '

dani1luv:
Howw??

OK

NOR WORRY

I BEEN THINK SAY . . . > > >

lOl

SEE YABZ

EVEN PEOPLE I NEVER BELIEVED HAD THE GUTZ TO DO SO

MAKE I RUN COMOT FAST BEFORE PERSON DASH ME THE ONE WEY GO MAKE ME HANG FACE LIKE ' MONKEY WEY LICK LIME '

^^^ NO PROBLEM MY DIAR

GO TRY GATHER OR THIEF MIND COME BACK . . . I GO RESERVE SPACE FOR VIP FOR US SO WE GO MUST FLEX

AND ERR . . . ABEG SELECT THAT YA UGLIEST GIRLFRIEND JOIN BODY AS U DEY COME

THAT WAN NA FOR THE BARMAN

GUY . . . I HAVE JUST THE RIGHT THING FOR YOU THIS FESTIVE SEASON

MY NEIGHBOUR STOCKS ORIGINAL CHAOBA & BINATONE CLIPPERS . . . LARGE AND XXL SIZES OF SCISSORS AND GARDEN SHEARS . . . BIC & GILLETE MACH 10 SHAVING STICKS etc

ALL ITEMS COME WITH LIFETIME WARRANTY AND AFTER SALES MAINTAINANCE

. . . BOY

YOU GATZ TO SHAVE THAT YA ANUS . . . I DEY TAKE OGUN BEG U . . . FOR THE SAKE OF US ON NL

ABI U NOR UNDERSTAND WHY SINCE THAT YA NYASH OVERGROW NA SO SO GRASSHOPPER EGG U JUST DEY SHIT AND FOR NIGHT NA BAT AND FIRE FLY DEY FOLLOW U FOR NYASH ?

^^^

MEHN THIS UNA 2012 FAMILY PORTRAIT NA WAH OH

U HAVE SUCCESSFULLY AND SINGLE HANDEDLY SPOILT MY EYESIGHT WITH THIS PICTURE OF YOU

dani1luv:


Where is the Joke??

WAIT - WAIT - WAIT FIRST . . . DANI


U DEY FIND MY MOUTH ?

[quote author=Efemena_xy link=topic=822600.msg9842631#msg9842631 date=1324985466]See as so-so man full this thread sef

Abi na gay zone be dis?

Or armed robbers joint?? [/quote]WETIN U DEY FIND COME DIS ' BUNK ' ?

YOU NO KNOW SAY NA STRICTLY ' MARY - JAY ' DOPERS AND HARD LIQUOR SHAKAZ DEY CHILL FOR THIS BAR ?

ABI U NEVA SABI SAY THIS NA THE ONLY BAR WITH ' VIP ' CORNER WEY DEM DEY ' SNIFF ' COKE AND ' SHAG ' ARSHIAWO FOR INSIDE ?

NOR COME HERE DEY ORDER ALL THOSE MINERAL AND BEER OR WINE OH . . . THE ONLE DRINK WEY DEM GET FOR HERE NA THE TYPE WEY DEM DEY USE SAPELE WATER MIX . . . XXL ALOMO DEY SELF (DRUM SIZE)

AND OH YES . . . ' STRIPPERS ' & ' POLE ' DANCERS DEY FOR HERE . . . ANY WOMAN WEY ENTA HERE AS ' GOOD ' GIRL GO MUST TURN ' BADT '

AND ERMM . . . THE BARMAN DEY OWE NL TAX . . . SO IF U CHECK AM WELL EHH . . . NA ONLY BABES WEY GET MIND DEY FLEX FOR THIS SIDE

U GET MIND ?

PretiEbony:
Merry xmas dear nairalanders, i luv u all

HELLO DARK & LUVLY . . . HAPPY NEW YEAR TO U IN ADVANCE

THIS SET UP IS REALLY BAD BECAUSE ONLY THE LADIES WILL LOSE OUT ON THIS DEAL


A GUY CAN GO TO SEVERAL PLACES TO GET SOME LOVE/ATTENTION AND IT WILL SEEM COOL TO MOST PEOPLE . . . BUT IF THE LADY DOES SO, SHE WILL BE TERMED A TOTAL ' WH0RE '


SO EMBARK ON THIS FUTILE ' STRIKE ' AT YOUR OWN DETRIMENT

IT COULD BE POSSIBLE THAT THE NEXT WAVE OF BOKO BOMB ATTACKS WENT OFF IN THE SOUTH & SOUTH EAST


THEY KNOW THAT ON NEW YEAR DAY MOST NORTHERN CHURCHES WOULD BE EMPTY AND THEN THEY MIGHT JUST DECIDE TO TASK THEIR SOUTHERN SECT TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING JUICY AND SURPRISING

ITS A GLARING POSSIBILITY . . . I AND MY FAMILY HAVE EVEN DECIDED TO SKIP CHURCH SERVICE ON THAT DAY JUST TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE

Im in lag now. Do u remember my order? Im ready to buy it when bank opens on d 27th

Ok im in lag now . Who wants to sell a slim ps3 160gig for 60k? I want to buy it at alaba on the 27th so if u can give me a better price hit me up.

claverestest@gmail.com

talk true:
you mean that all the xtians in the north should not go to church again and only the muslims should be going to mosque freely.
we are cowards. we should be thinking on how to avenge and split this country as they wish. remember israel and pakistan

IF CHRISTIANS ARE TO RETALIATE THEN I BELIEVE THE MUSLIM 'SALLAH' SEASON WOULD BE A NICE TIME TO DO SO

ASSUMING THIS STUFF WAS NOT CHURCH RELATED I WOULD HAVE ADVISED THAT THEY SHOULD VISIT BABA FOR CONFIRMED 'ODESHI' AMULETS TO WEAR TO CHURCH SERVICE

MY BROTHER . . . AS IT STANDS RIGHT NOW NO 'GOD FEARING - RIGHT THINKING - AIR BREATHING - BIBLE READING - GOSPEL PREACHING' CHRISTIAN NIGERIAN WILL VENTURE TO SET FOOT IN ANY CHURCH ON NEW YEAR DAY IN THE NORTHERN PART OF THIS DECAYING COUNTRY

I REALLY PITY PASTORS OVER THERE . . . THEIR BUSINESS HAS VIRTUALLY COLLAPSED THIS SEASON

[quote author=Negro_Ntns link=topic=832588.msg9835384#msg9835384 date=1324874686]oh, of course that would be a waste and high risk effort, but notice I did not say bomb, I said terror. Beside bomb they also use ride-by on okada to spray people down, including in residential areas. right?[/quote]HA HA HA HA


THOSE BOKO BOYS ARE CLASSIC


I CAN JUST IMAGINE THEM CLIMBING BIKE TO PERFORM A 'DRIVE - BY' SHOOTING

THAT WILL REALLY BE INGENIOUS IN BRINGING TERROR TO THE HOMES OF CHRISTIANS THIS NEW YEAR

mikuz:
@liltech,
itk,over sabi, whats piece if cake?

GETTING YOUR POSTS TO THE FRONT PAGE IS . . . AS I SAID . . . A PIECE OF CAKE

TAKE NOTE OF THE 2 SIMPLE STEPS BELOW

JUST BEGIN A NICE, INTERESTING AND INNOVATIVE THREAD WHERE OTHER MEMBERS CAN CONTRIBUTE TO

PRAY THAT THE DISCUSSION NEVER GOES 'OFF POINT' (this is a major factor why jokes section threads find it virtually impossible to make the front page)

MAKE CERTAIN YOU WRITE IN FLAWLESS ENGLISH SO AS TO ENGAGE FOREIGN NL VISITORS WITHOUT STRESS (need i remind you that NL is an international website)

ITS AS EASY AS A B C

I AM PRIVILEDGED TO HAVE MADE THE FRONT PAGE A COUPLE OF TIMES BOTH FROM MY BELOVED JOKES SECTION AS WELL AS OTHER SECTIONS TOO

ps @MIKUZ : IM NOT SAYING THAT IM '2 MUCH' OH . . . IM JUST SAYING THAT IM 'ENOUGH'

* storms into bar almost shattering the doors hinges *

BAR MAN WHATS ALL THIS?

ALL THOSE 'IRS' OFFICIALS OUTSIDE YOUR SHOP ARE HARASSING YOUR CUSTOMERS

THEY CLAIM THAT YOU HAVE BEEN OPERATING YOUR BUSINESS FOR A GOOD 10 PAGES AND ARE YET TO PAY NL TAX

THEY NEARLY IMPOUNDED MY BMW X6 JUST NOW THINKING I WAS THE MANAGER

BETTER GO OUTSIDE AND CLEAR WITH THEM BEFORE THEY CARRY YOUR VW BEETLE GO HEADQUARTERS



* sits at a table and scratches head *

NAH WAH FOR THIS BARMAN SELF . . . WITH ALL THE MONEY WEY HIM DON MAKE NA THAT RICKETY BEETLE HIM STILL DEY DRIVE

E NOR BETTER MAKE NL IRS CARRY AM?