₦airaland Forum

Its a battle between a growth stock(Obama) and a declining stock (Billary).

When are we expecting Wapco/CCNN results?

Good morning Father of two, long time o.

On Vitafoam, what advice do you have for CICO?

Folks, I just came back from the Obama rally at the Toyota Center in Houston. It was historic!

Ladies and gentlemen, please rise to welcome the winner of the Winsconsin primaries, and the next President of the United States of America,

I felt a part of history. His speech was even more inspiring standing few feet away from me. Obama in flesh and blood.Texas, Yes we can!

So they won't accuse of of talking politics here, let me talk some stock stuff. The new entrant, sorry company on the exchange gained another state, sorry points,while Hillary lost a white state, her stock lost,

Make I go celeberate before I mix everything up

Windy-Wendy  is the sound that the Naira makes

You were spot on for Berger Paints and Niwicable.

More wind to your elbow!

A couple of friends are working on a new stockbroking and accounting software with web interface capabilities.

If you have some suggestions as to what such a software should be able to offer to clients esp in regard to online interface,kindly feel free to comment or email me at andraskarrerATyahoo.com This is urgent and very important.

Chams forms pact with Starcomms

http://www.punchng.com/Articl.aspx?theartic=Art200802190565823

My portfolio is looking extremely greenish with Scoa(thanks to pumping), Niwicable(thanks to Wendy), Berger(thanks to Wendy) and Uniondicon (thanks to Prince11)!

Today's prices

http://www.trw-stockbrokers.com/services.aspx

And finally,
You know you are thinking too much of your NSE portfolio when:

You wander the house on Saturday and Sunday because you have nothing to do. Every hour, on the hour, you loudly announce to the house the time remaining until the market opens.

You have an automatic refresh button for this thread,and the TRW stock prices page

and you begin to use CICO and candle language when talking to your spouse,e.g do you know your friend is now harami (i.e pregnant)

You know you are thinking too much of your NSE portfolio when: The NSE drops 10% or more, you demand your family skip one meal a day so you can quickly raise cash to buy stock at the new, cheap levels.

You made your sixteen year old niece get a job at a little-known manufacturing company in the hopes that she would over hear something and give you valuable insider trading tips on their penny stock.

You know you are thinking too much of your NSE portfolio when:

You tell your children they can't go to college yet because you are convinced you can make another 50% CICO on their education accounts when the market turns around.

You know you are thinking too much of your NSE portfolio when:

You gave your broker a gift on the anniversary of the day you opened your stockbroking account, but forgot to give your wife anything on your wedding anniversary.

@all

Before the Clintons here start accusing my Obama-self of plagiarism, most of the stock humor is adapted from the net for the Nigerian mind-set.

Next I shall show you 5 signs that show you are thinking too much about your NSE portfolio.

Stock Market Review for Today

Helium was up, feathers were down.
Paper was stationary.Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
Knives were up sharply.Cow steered into a bull market.
Pencils lost a few points.Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading.Light switches were off.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
Diapers remain unchanged.Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
The market for raisins dried up.Coca Cola fizzled.
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
Sun peaked at midday.Balloon prices were inflated.
And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.

harrisoft:
@ aktopgun
Oga please I think it will be better if you start a separate trend for Candle/Japanese so that you don’t sidetrack us with it, like easimoni started the technical thing and uncle Napolean is planning to open one for[b] long extensive posting[/b].

@Harrisoft, softly,softly o. Stocks by Candle-light is an education, not a distraction o. DO you know how may of us have saved or gained money by this? . Just as we have people analyzing stocks using other tools, AkTopCandle,sorry akTopGun is welcome to do same here o. Abi others, i no yarn well?

"The market is weird. Every time one guy sells, another one buys, and they both think they're smart."

I understand the guys who sold 14 million units of TransCorp_se, but I don't understand the guys who bought those shares!

Nascon seems to have stabilized today.  Wonders for this NSE sef? I was thinking it would come lower so I could refuel!

The share price of Vitafoam Nigeria Plc. has today been adjusted for a dividend payment of N0.25k per share. The ex-div price is N10.05.

For those who bought last week, what does this imply?

jandbaby:
Are you winding me up?

I was referring to the fact that some people bought Nascon from Dangote's one day sale last year,planning on short-term, but as it nose-dived, they have been forced to become long-term investors!

No-shaking, we dey Nascon together!

Bull Market is a random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

Bear Market is a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex.

A long term investment is a short term investment that failed. e.g the Nascon 1-day sale last year

Economics is an extremely useful method of employment for economists.

The market is weird. Every time one guy sells, another one buys, and they both think they're smart.

The best time to buy anything is last year

Technical analysis is the art of drawing a crooked line from an unproved assumption to a foregone conclusion.

A technical analyst is a person who thinks that nine women can produce a child in one month.

Spend at least as much time researching a stock as you would choosing a refrigerator.

Remember the First Law of Technical Analysis: For every analysis, there is an equal and opposite analysis--so for every bullish analysis, there is a bearish one. The Second Law of Technical Analysis: They are both likely to be wrong!

We have two classes of forecasters: Those who don't know--and those who don't know they don't know!

February is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and October!

A market analyst is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today!

Have a bullish week!

STOCK: A magical piece of paper that is worth $33.75 until the moment you buy it. It will then be worth $8.50.
BOND: What you had with your spouse until you pawned his/her golf clubs to invest in Amazon.com.

BROKER: The person you trust to help you make major financial decisions. Please note the first five letters of this word spell Broke.

BEAR: What your trade account and wallet will be when you take a flyer on that hot stock tip your secretary gave you.

BULL: What your broker uses to explain why your mutual funds tanked during the last quarter.

MARGIN: Where you scribble the latest quotes when you're supposed to be listening to your manager's presentation.

SHORT POSITION: A type of trade where, in theory, a person sells stocks he doesn't actually own. Since this also only ever works in theory, a short position is what a person usually ends up being in (i.e. "The rent, sir? Hahaha, well, I'm a little short this month.".

COMMISSION: The only reliable way to make money on the stock market, which is why your broker charges you one.

YAK: What you do into a pail when you discover your stocks have plunged and your broker is making a margin call.


The Simpson's invited their new neighbors the Parkers over to dinner. During dinner Mr Simpson asked Mr Parker what he did for a living.
4 year old Billy Parker jumped in and said

" Daddy is a fisherman!"

To which Mrs Parker replied" Billy why do say that? Your daddy is a stock broker not a fisherman."

"No Mom. Everytime we visit dad at work and he hangs up the phone he laughs, rubs his hands together and says I just caught another fish."


Two women were walking through the woods when a frog called out to them and said: "Help me, ladies! I am a stockbroker who, through an evil witch's curse, has been transformed into a frog. If one of you will kiss me, I'll be returned to my former state!"
One woman took out her purse, grabbed the frog, and stuffed it inside her handbag. The other woman, aghast, screamed, "Didn't you hear him? If you kiss him, he'll turn into a stockbroker!"

The second woman replied, "Sure, but these days a talking frog is worth more than a stockbroker!"



Hope Seun no go ban me for posting Jokes here!

For all those throwing money into fundamentaless stocks, here comes the BEARS!

Since everyone seems to be enjoying their loot today, I thought I would lighten up with some cartoons.

For all those who have questions about which broker to use, try the method below!

Where daily bid positions o?

@Easimoni, Billary is on his-her way out!

My contribution- Gainers vs Losers, and also Stocks traded by volume.

If na to speak Japanese and burn candle we go take make money, count me in!

Harami cross definition:
A trend indicated by a large candlestick followed by a doji that is located within the top and bottom of the candlestick's body. This indicates that the previous trend is about to reverse.

A Harami cross can be either bullish or bearish, depending on the previous trend. The appearance of a Harami Cross, rather than a smaller body, increases the likelihood that the trend will reverse.

I don laugh sotay them reccomend make I see an Akpotogun.

My broker bought 50kg of SCOA today. Make I relax see how e go perform .

There was a time I used to roam around Nairaland looking for comedy,politics,stock-tips, fighting(bole-kaja style),valentine-stuff,sports, but now for this thread wey I dey print and file (in case Seun comot am), I dey find everything jeje.

More candle-wax, sorry grease to your elbows!

pumping777:
I no get Nascon o but why holders dey fear? Na for CICO?

You no go position for Q-3 and Final Year? Better thing must still come from Nascon.

I don get this stock one time see how he dey behave. Some people hate the stock with a passion. As Yodi talk na those wey buy for N22. See Dunlop now. After all those shareholders vex finish wan kill the stock, see where the price carry go. Dem go dey try worry the stock price but if result come good, nobody fit hold better thing for ground o.

Make he come down make I kuku carry some join body.

Na your money sha. Make una take the final decision.

See as you PUMP courage for my bodi!  U too much. One opeke for u to chop ur NSE money with!

NASCON: To sell or not to sell?  Bought 50kg at N16:40 , if I sell at N19, after broker chop hin own, na only 10% remain.

By the way, it closed on net offer today!  Make I check the amount of flame for my red candle!