[quote author=laudate post=67703351]

Your post makes it so clear that you have not had to commute to Abuja city centre on a daily basis, while living permanently on the outskirts of Abuja or in the satellite towns of the FCT. Saying it is not much of a long journey is a very vague statement. Is it the distance in kilometers or the journey time in minutes/hours?

Yes, Abuja has been planned! We all said that from the very beginning of this thread - in fact, more than 5 people mentioned it - which is why it is totally wrong to keep comparing it to Lagos which was not planned, except for very few areas in the state! I repeat: comparing Abuja to Lagos, is like comparing apples to cocoyams. [/quote

Yes and the result of that planning and foresight is the relative ease of navigation of Abuja, the planned parks and recreation which were part of that planning. It has resulted in a city that is much less stressful as a result. That is exactly what myself, others and the author of the article have been saying.

It's the truth.

Comparing Lagos to Abuja is fine actually and this thread is 14 pages worth of people trying to claim Lagos is better, so you may want to advise them to 'stop comparing apples with cocoyam'.

herich:


5k?
One told me 25k monthly and that was the end story.

Lol, so dating is a salaried side hustle in Nigeria?

nwaonyeze001:


D working class ladies.....most of them are so rude and lack P.R, they will only give you audience when you smell of eloquence and wealth, even with their exposure, for those once, if you don't have a ride (car) first impression to them, don't even dare
Statistically, 98% tho, there are good once who won't care about your outward appearance, but my guy, they are like looking for a pin on a sea shore

Have you given a thought that these ladies also don't want to be used? They also get approached my boys and men that look like they are in need and often turn out to be opportunists?

Some Nigerian men also use women. They've made an internationally known internet business out of it in fact.

OluwatobiMayowa:
Majority of the girls that don't demand are ugly.

The beautiful ones demand because well, if you don't give, there are other guys that are ready to.

The rule of thumb is to spend what is left after investing/sorting family. So that way you are not entertaining any unforeseen circumstances.

Not true, so called 'ugly girls' still demand to be bought for because it's become a culture and expected thing.

I woman that respects herself and knows her value will actually be offended that a man thinks she can be bought. It's how you see yourself that will dictate how you navigate the dating world. It's also culture, if you are using a man for his money gift and exchange for your time or body you're either an escort or a prostitute. The man that is giving is the 'john' , customer or client.

Nigerian men need to learn to attract women with WHO THEY ARE and not WHAT THEY HAVE because they are hiding behind material gifts.

If a guy approaches me with what he has or what he earns, he is automatically cancelled because that's an insecure individual and 'ain't nobody gat time fo' dat'.

laudate:


People who encounter traffic everyday in Lagos, do so as a result of the distances they have to cover between their homes and offices, or the distance that exist between their offices and clients. Many folks live on the mainland and the outskirts, from where they commute to work daily, on the Island. A similar thing also occurs in Abuja. Are you saying people who live on the outskirts of Abuja, or in the suburbs & satellite towns do not encounter traffic daily, on their way to the city centre? Your perspective is really narrow, because you are only viewing Abuja through a single lens - the lens of someone who lives and works within the same axis, inside Abuja.

You are entitled to your preference, but please stop comparing apples with cocoyams in the way you are comparing Abuja with Lagos. It is like comparing New York to Washington. It only makes you look clueless.

Even if you live outside the city gates in Abuja it's not that long to get into town. For most of it you are driving on a highway that has many lanes once get past the city gates there are overpasses to specific areas too, so not everyone is using the same route.. Even if you are going from Sabon Lugbe ( outside the city gate) to CBD ( heart of the city) it's not that much of a long journey. The road network ensures free movement of traffic for most of the journey. Planning and foresight of Abuja has resulted in that being possible, although some areas still need work and some expressways that have been started still need completing. You don't always have to live and work in a close area in Abuja, that's my point.

Let's not deny that in Lagos people are delayed because they are stuck in traffic. Lagos is notorious for its traffic jams. I don't think that's news to anyone.

martineverest:
so ironic.....guys are the cause

They are though, because their consistent refusal to comply would have created a different set of Nigerian dating rules. It's the same they do with non-Nigerian women that makes them 'like' Nigerian men. It's the spending on them they like. I've practically been 'reprimanded' for buying the popcorn for us while my ex was buying the cinema tickets. He was actually offended by it and told me so.

Some Nigerian/ African men don't feel comfortable without feeling they have the upper hand in dating. Trust me if I need or want something I will get it myself ( even if it means saving up)and if I need help with a need it's my family I'll go and ask. My partner) boyfriend may never even know I have a need.

Deeaba:
Well I dated a girl who always ask for money almost everyday. I call her most times when i'm on break talk for like 30 mins, and around 7.30 pm I will just see her test. Love i'm stranded,can't leave the office cos I don't have transport fare. Please assist me.Then I will be like you did not mention anything like this when I called this afternoon. her is excuse is always I forgot. I keep giving her, not because i'm stupid but because I felt she might need the money. Paid school fees, give money sometimes weekly.
Her phone got damaged. I got 2 small phones at my work place gave her one to be using pending the time I got her a new smartphone. that was when issue started, she was always talking about the smartphone every day that it became so irritating and decided not to buy for her again. She even referred to the small phone I got for her in my presence palasa. This is a working class lady. So it's not an issue of dating working class. She just likes demanding.
I broke up with her and I've since had my peace, dating another one as we speak and I'm ready to give the whole world to her cos she does not ask, and when I give her things she is so appreciative mehn. I'm in love again

Good for you, you found a better woman and stopped being used. I think it's shameful for a woman to ask for things. I think it shows a lack of self respect. The only thing I think a man is OBLIGATED to pay for is the first date.

oyb:


you will find ladies that don't need anything from you.

problem is , you have no idea how to relate with a woman who does not need you. more to the point, you don't want a woman like that.

which is fine, but what is irritating is the pathetic hypocrisy.

if the op [probbaly another small boy storyteller] meets a woman who needs nothing from him, he will start wailing about her disrespect and strong head.

TRUTH

If they're asking for 5k you are dating broke girls ( in need) that probably either don't work or are very young.


You also need to check your approach and whether you try and 'impress' them from the start because that might fuel their expectations.
Nigerian men tend to lead with ' what they can buy' or 'what they have'. It's a TURN OFF for a TYPE of woman but will ATTRACT a girl that is looking for a 'sponsor'

Many Nigerian men give money because they want access to the girl's body, although you may not be one of them. The girls know this so use the men back.

I find the dating mentality of Nigerian men and women quite strange because when you refuse the advances of Nigerian men that are trying to impress you with material things, they get annoyed.

Don't offer and say no if asked because there is probably no genuine interest in being with you if they are trying to use you. If you're HONEST with yourself ask yourself whether you have a genuine interest in the girls or just annoyed you have to pay for access.

You can't have your cake and eat it.

chukzyfcbb:

Trust me, its because of his shoe.

Take a look at this fashion icon whom I admire his dress sense, NOBLE IGWE. This is him on his wedding day. Now does that look local to you?

#Added one more for you to get a clearer view
#No socks on casual occasion is a trend happening for some while now

Yes it's because of the shoes and also the cut of the trousers.

Gosh, the no socks looks good on the guys you posted. They pass it off well.

chukzyfcbb:

you are not up to date at all in the fashion world.

This isn't a business event, so socks isn't needed. Can't you see its just a casual sturvs?

The only odd thing in the style is his choice of shoes, That wasn't the proper shoe for the suit. A double monk strap would have fit in well

Those are some CLASSY shoes in that image you posted.

I think the groom should have worn socks though. In fact it makes him look more 'local' without socks because of the style of shoe imho. He can't pass off the no socks look.

In any case they both look happy and that's what matters.

chukzyfcbb:

you are not up to date at all in the fashion world.

This isn't a business event, so socks isn't needed. Can't you see its just a casual sturvs?

The only odd thing in the style is his choice of shoes, That wasn't the proper shoe for the suit. A double monk strap would have fit in well

Those are some CLASSY shoes man.

Princejebs:

Lol. Bro, the last time I checked, the white use socks as thermal(heat). U dnt copy things u see. There's a reason they do things but we Nigeria like copy copy except u have a bacteria that causes smelling legs

No, it's common to wear either socks or thin shoe liners l inside your shoes ( or trainers) because it's comfortable and just more hygienic. He may have shoe liners on because they are made to be disguised.

grafixdon:
Hello house

Please I'll be travelling to Abuja on Sunday, I want to know how safe it is to travel from Lagos to Abuja. Considering the high rate of Herdsmen attacks and other road mishaps.

Flight would have been an option but cash isn't available.

I checked Arik Air the price is about 35k while God is good is just 9,000 (bus).

What do you advice?

Have you checked Air Peace ? They do good deals I'm told.

MiddleDimension:
In Lagos, there is the capacity to lift up this mighty car. Wow! Unparalleled efficiency.

Yet, dead bodies are STILL left laying on the road over the weekends.

laudate:

Oga stop that exaggeration. Which Nyanya would take you 54 minutes to Abuja Airport? At what time of the day? From Nyanya to Abuja city centre between the hours of 7 a.m and 10.30a.m, would take you nothing less than 2 hours. If you have to go from Nyanya to the Abuja Airport, you would also have to leave early, or select a time when the roads would be less congested, in order to get to the airport on time, just like anyone going from Lekki to Lagos airport, would do!

If you are staying in Lagos in a place as far from the Lagos Airport as Nyanya is from Abuja Airport, how long will it take you in the traffic between 7am and 10.30? Which includes the rush hour?

It still stands Abuja is sane option, Lagos is not.

Many people are sat motionless in Lagos traffic for close to or over an hour every day and have to add that to their journey time. They also stay behind at work because they don't want to be stuck in traffic going home. Not because of distance but because of traffic.

It's common knowledge both inside and outside Lagos.

laudate:


So even if you are going to the Abuja airport from Nyanya, you would get there within a reasonable time? Oga, don't let your hatred for Lagos blind you to reality. Abuja is not as big as Lagos, and quite a number of people still live within a reasonable distance to the airport, unlike Lagos that is much more densely populated. In Lagos, if you live in Maryland, Ikeja GRA, Allen or Opebi, you would definitely get to the airport within a reasonable time unless there has been an accident on the way.

Yes, because reasonable time means taking distance into account. Nyanya is about 54 km from Abuja airport so if someone is driving at 60 km an hour it will take about 54 minutes. That's reasonable. It is far.
Lagos airport is situated in Ikeja so you don't expect someone to be delayed to the Airport same as some that lives near Abuja airport.

Name a place that is 54 km away from Lagos Airport and consider how long that same journey would realistically take.

MiddleDimension:
Like I was trying to say in the morning before I couldn't go on: a city is more than just fancy roads. It is also about the availavlity of social infrastructure open to the public and also accessible by the public.

Below are pictures of some stadia etc in Iagos that are meant for just that

All empty though.....but thanks for the images.

There are plenty of open spaces like parks planned into Abuja and they are well used by its citizens of all social backgrounds ( men, women and children). It's free and enjoyable for the most part and they are well kept landscaped and in keeping with Abuja's natural beauty. There are so many natural spaces in Abuja purposed for relaxation and some of these parks turn into hang out spots in the evening with DJ's, food and drink.

Saturday morning aerobics at Jabi lake park is something I cherish in Abuja.

MiddleDimension:


Like pulling out the oil money going in there and they won't be able to maintain their infrastructures anymore

Where do you think the oil money went when Lagos was the capital? Before Abuja was even a thought in anyone's head?

Let all the oil company headquarters move to the Niger Delta States and pay tax there, let all Nigeria's ports be developed to their fullest potential. Do you think Lagos will feel nothing?

MiddleDimension:


But there is no such thing in Abuja pure and simple

You don't have a system in Lagos, not an adequate one that works which is why most people that have one drive their cars everywhere.

Abuja does not need a system of public buses because the taxis do a great job of that. If they ever feel the need for a system of buses they will plan it and build it, simple.

Your government is playing catch up with the population, Abuja isn't.

laudate:


I have gone to the airport from Lekki several times, without getting stuck in traffic. I have also been stuck in traffic, at other times. It all depends on timing - the time you leave, and the time you arrive.

The reason you would have to leave obscenely early is to avoid traffic, no?

You just don't have to do that in Abuja. The road network means you will get to the airport within a reasonable time unless there has been an accident on the way.

MiddleDimension:


You surely have not watched a comprehensive documentory on a rising China, that's what to u say the things you aay

They are proud of their systems and networks not a couple of bus terminals. They are proud of their locomotives and the design and delivery of their systems, my dear.

laudate:


The 'gra-gra' in Lagos is a function of where you live and work. In those areas I mentioned earlier - old Ikoyi, Banana Island, old GRA Ikeja, VGC Estate - there is no gra-gra. It is when you decide to cross over to some other parts of the state, that you would witness any such thing. Again, it also depends on your lifestyle, who you roll with and where you hang out.

They will encounter it even just by going to the airport and having to be stuck in traffic.

Lol.... clutching at straws

laudate:


Don't mind them. The people who argue like Londoner are the JJCs in Abuja. They keep forgetting that Abuja was planned and built right from scratch in the 80s and the 90s, by the federal govt using a masterplan, so it is a fairly new modern city, that is less than one generation old. There is NO building in Abuja that is over 40 years old. Check it - from Cadastral Zone to the Airport to Jabi or Kado.

Abuja was planned, built, surveyed and allocated using a masterplan, and by and large, many parts of the city still conform to the masterplan. This is unlike Lagos which is several generations old, and has been a city right from colonial and even pre-colonial times. Many parts of Lagos state (not all), just sprang up as large urbanised settlements, with no masterplan. The govt then had to work hard to start trying to provide amenities and infrastructure in many of these sprawling communities, unlike what was done in Abuja where the infrastructure and layout was already completed before people moved in.

Exactly Abuja planned and built from scratch as an alternative to what? LAGOS.

Everyone including me already knows this.

If the federal and state government decided to do the right thing when Lagos was the capital it would not have ended up as a messy sprawl in the first place.

Town planning is something used around the world even from the Roman times. Moving the capital was a necessity and a stroke of genius imho.

laudate:


And who says you cannot live in old Ikoyi, Banana Island or Lekki without still enjoying the same benefits of life that those in Jabi, Wuse II or Gwarinpa enjoy? In Lagos, it all depends on where you live and work. If you live in Allen Avenue and work in Old Ikeja GRA within Lagos, tell me if your quality of life, would not improve?

The person who lives in Nyanya and works in Asokoro or Wuse II has little or no advantage, over the person who lives in Yaba area of Lagos and works in Victoria Island, for example.

I'm not saying they would not enjoy life but it will also have the unavoidable gra-gra of Lagos. That's my point. The traffic is only one aspect, it's just the fact that Lagos is just a stressful place and results in very stressed and cantankerous people.
The culture of the two places are just different and results in a different experience.

MiddleDimension:


You simply do not have a working transport system pure and simple! The Chinese use the it bus, train and airports to show their sophistication, so what's your point?
And I doubt your Londoner is exposed to make the statement he made .the Chinese, Korans, the gulf states as well as the Japanese are very proud of their stations

Londoner is well travelled my dear.

The Chinese, Koreans and Gulf States do not measure themselves on a mere bus terminal or two. Your friends from there do they boast of a few bus stations like you have?

Still stands Abuja is sanity, Lagos is not.

MiddleDimension:


Why don't you show me superior Alternative Abuja and stop all these noise.

For your info, train an bus stations are a landmark in major cities across the world

You can keep your 'superior' bus stations built recently. Abuja will keep its superior sanity. My measurement of a place is certainly not it's bus and train stations but the general feel of a place.

It's not as if it's Grand Central Station lol.

MiddleDimension:
Place show us the sorry case they call El rufai and let's see it they match the ones I have posted here.

Are you really boasting over a bus shelter and a bus station? Has it really come to that?
(The second image inside the bus is not in Nigeria by the way)

The colourful bus station is new and there is only one of that kind in Lagos so far, although there is another terminal which is okay.

Those buses will still be stress for their commuters on the road either directly or indirectly, sonic you like show all the helipads in Lagos too.

Do you really think I'd prefer to travel to a bus station, get on a bus then get off at a bus stop and walk to my final destination OVER sitting in a taxi straight from door to door??

I take public transportation in London and sorely missed Abuja taxis when I got back from my last visit there. I found getting around so easy and cheap in Abuja.

laudate:

She doesn't need to go that far. Banana Island is close by, so is VGC Estate. In fact, Lekki axis in Lagos, has so many estates, that would make her blink twice, and swallow her words.

It doesn't matter about the grand housing Lagos has, it's the way the city runs ( or is not run) which makes many people prefer Abuja. You can be rich and living in Lekki or Banana Island if you want, but you still know of the Lagos frustrations one way or the other.

You don't have to live in Asokoro or Maitama to feel the benefit of Abuja quality of life.
You can live well in Jabi or Wuse 2 or even Gwarimpa Estate or Lifecamp.

nairamaniac:

U exaggerated.
Besides those places u mentioned, what both Wuse, Jabi, Utako, ?
They may not be world class, but they are way above average.

They are even building new areas every day. Whenever I visit Abuja, places I have never heard of are built, places I 'knew' have been developed. Even the extension areas that are being built to plan are something else. Even along Airport Road and places further, like Galadimawa are being developed. Slowly, yes but it's being done.

piagetskinner:
there are better opportunities in Lagos than abuja.. unless u be big man pikin



I hate Lagos traffic.. abuja too get traffic but its on a minimal level..highest I've spent is probably 1hr from karu axis..


but Lagos mehn..3 and above and that can be very frustrating


I still prefer abj cos it's cool and calm

Wow one hour us ALOT, was this at Christmas or something? What happened for you to be in traffic for one whole hour?