₦airaland Forum

In January 2018, I was on these boards warning people away from studying in the U.S. I remember being called contrarian and alarmist. The signs have been there for 3 years ever since Trump was elected.

People need to start listening to what Trump says about immigration, especially immigration from Africa. He is very clear that 1) white Europeans are preferred, 2) skilled immigrants take jobs from Americans and depress wages.

And if you're thinking, well I'm a student so that won't affect me. Know that your only option for working legally in the US after graduation is through the H1-B visa. See my first link above on what's going on with the visa. Honestly I wouldn't advise anyone to come to study in the US now, unless 1) it's a 4 year plus program, in which case you might find that Trump removed from office in 2020, and I won't even encourage you to hope for that, 2) your family is rich and moving back to Nigeria will be fun for you, 3) you get into an Ivy League 2 year masters and you do not have to take out loans to pay for school.

I hate to be a Debbie downer, but a word is enough for the wise. TBH even before Trump the H1-B system was broken. Nigerians who haven't lived in the US on a visa have NO IDEA that it is entirely possible to work on visas for 8-10 years without seeing permanent residency. Canada may not be as exciting as America, but their policy not just for immigration but also for study is much more humane.

yabas:
Honestly I dont even know where to start. I am tired of supporting girls financially. Since I started dating women, I cant say I have been lucky. Its always buy me this and buy me that. Phone, laptop, recharge cards, dash me, transport etc, I have done it all. Though when I recently started complaining, my close friend told me that he has also been doing same but didnt want to let guys know so that people will not laugh at him.

After all the expenditure, u still break up with them when you get tired of the demands. Does it mean that MAJORITY of Nigerian girls use guys for money? Or is it just me.

I seriously need a gf that will not ask me for anything. Some of my friends will tell you how they have dated one or two wonderful girls that dont demand for anything but not me, I cant point to any girl that I have dated, that I didnt spend money on.

Guys I honestly want to know if this is a general problem or is it just me. ALWAYS meeting poor women, even now that I am looking for a wife, still meeting heavy demanders that I cant settle with. GOD HELP ME OUT. AMEN.

We attract what we put out. Nobody forced you to go out with multiple women who are struggling. You have a CHOICE to be single, to say no, or to choose women who have their act together. I'm sure you avoid the latter because they are independent and hold you to a higher standard than these broke girls. A woman who is self-made, what are you going to offer her instead of your money, now you've decided to stop giving money?

Are you prepared to be a good listener? To respect her hustle? To please HER sexually? To treat her like an intellectual equal? To cook for her? If you cant do those things better stick with the poor girls!!!

Thank God for Nairaland. Just found this thread after WEEKS of trying to get information from GTB on how to wire funds. My foreign bank has no place for correspondent bank. I kept asking the GTB staff if I needed to use the intermediary in NY and they literally refused to answer my question. I'm convinced those people are idiots.

blackpanthar:
I have advice for u.... BUT SADLY YOU CAN NOT DO IT....
If you ever went for NYSC.... am sure u can not come and sit back in the house.
anyway... here are things u can do.


GO AND LIVE WITH A FRIEND IN ANOTHER STATE...... A female friend o... someone whom your parents can call to confirm... tell them u got a job there.

START A BUSINESS... visit my thread and you will see a business u can do with only 10k and its not marketing.. and u will not be paying me to learn

This is simple... but u must be very sure that its a ONE WAY TICKET. Once u decide to be independent JUST DO IT and NEVER EVER LOOK BACK.... Visit home but never stay over.

above all.... SUCCEED.... SUCCESS SHUTS MOUTHS UP.

I agree with this. You need to move out

whyqueu:
HELLO FAMZ,
Hello Famz

I seriously need clearity on this question because its has been hitting my mind since a month now. What is the best possible way to answer " How did you hear about this school" .

I know the VO's are tired of hearing I did an online reaserch and all that . Also I have heard from this forum that saying "its was recommended by mentor and co" is a sign that you are been lazy !

Please can you Top Guy's share your possible view of this !!

Please !!

theamerican , twoods , Sorelee , ThePianoGuy

I don't think the VOs are tired of hearing online research. Has a VO told you that is the case?

What you need to do is develop a thoughtful and coherent response that is also truthful. If a friend asks you how you found the school, will you say "I did online research"? If you say that, then the VO may be right to deny you. The answer is vague and doesn't communicate your intelligence. Its like if someone asks you how did you get this fine and very unique haircut. Would you say "the barber" and just look at them. You will say I've been inspired by this particular style for some time so I decided to search for barbers in my area that are known to follow directions and not charge an arm and leg.etc etc. You see the difference between this answer and "I went to barber"? Which sounds more intelligent and personable?

Demonicide:
He be like say na village ppl oh, na them go update the site over night

Honestly I don't think there is much one can even learn from the OPs experience. The VO was just looking for a reason to deny you - probably because in general America is being more stringent now. Any school's website contains thousands of data. How would you know which to memorise overnight? What if your favourite professor died and they updated the info. What if instead of changing the data overnight the IT guy happened to be awake and decided to do it at 6am west Africa time when you're in traffic?

By all means verify as much as you can. But we need to accept that luck (or bad luck) also plays a role and it doesn't follow that just because you were denied you deserved to be denied. I assure you that same VO when they were being interviewed for the job made some mistake. Yet she got the job. But because the demand for US visa exceeds supply, she/he gets to pretend that the reason for denial is because of something you did wrong, as opposed to prejudice or her having a stomach ache. What if she just didn't like the style of clothes you were, saw them as outdated and judged you for that? We can ever know so we can't control everything.

I say all this as someone who was never denied a US visa. Prepare, but pray and hope.

richyblink1:
The plot is actually thickening right now.
Yesterday she was making calls at about 10pm in the night. Few minutes into the call wifey walked up to her and asked who she's been talking to for that long considering the time and duration of the call. She claimed she was trying to tell her caller to call back in the morning. So wifey got the phone from her to return it back in the morning.

Coincidentally, an alert of 20k came in. Lo and behold her account balance amounted to several hundred of thousands. This is a girl her account was reading 0.00 when I started paying her, and I have paid for a few month as she came in about 5 months ago.

My people, I am wondering what I have in my hand. Really confuse what she is up to, and who has been collaborating with her. She talks on phone everyday for long hours.
Since i asked her to call her uncle to come pick her that i won't release her to any other person. She has turned Angel overnight and willing to tumble 20x on her own accord.

I feel someone (a good for nothing guy) out there is taking advantage of her to perpetuate evil.

People were advising you from the beginning to get rid of her NOW. Not sure what else you expect.

Predstan:
I registered for GRE today and my test date is on hold until i know i can actually face the screen. I need someone to give me a study plan or redirect me to a page where it is already discussed extensively. I have downloaded all the materials online and i have the hardcopy of Kaplan's prep plus 2018. I want to devote two months for the preparation

Thanks

Go to Magoosh.com. Navigate to the blog, or where it says Study Plan. The blog is free to read.

Livie2016:
I disagree with you fundamentally and your comments to an extent reflect why Nigeria and many parts of Africa are the way they are- no progress. The quest for a better life should not entail ;

A) scamming your employers;

B) exploiting their kindness;
C) Committing immigration crimes.

Where do you draw the line? You're trying to rationalize crime. This is the same line of thinking that drives politicians to loot billions, justifying their actions by convicing themselves that they aretrying to help their families. Exploiting, cheating and scamming people for selfish gain and interest.

Also, she is NOT entitled to be in England without me. She was NOT issued a tourist visa- she was issued a domestic worker visa on the basis that she would work for me in England and crucially, return to Ghana after wards. She is NOT even allowed (by law) to carry out domestic work for anyone in the U.K./ work for anyone in the U.K. other than me. It is not about ownership, I am merely stating the terms of the visa which she was granted and which were set by UK immigration authorities.



Again, the issue isn't the nanny terminating the employment relationship. She is free to terminate our employment relationship at any point, however what she is NOT entitled to do is attempt to remain in the U.K. illegally using a visa which I procured for her as her employer and which stipulates that she MUST depart U.K. with me when I am leaving. What she did was utterly selfish and wicked. We did our best to make her life comfortable in Ghana and England, why repay kindness with wickenesss for selfish gain?

Sigh. Just to clarify, crime can absolutely be rationalized. What she did was 100% rational. I hope you know there is a difference between "good" and "rational."

I never said anywhere in my post that she was entitled to be in the UK. I'm pretty sure I made it clear that what she did was wrong and illegal.

BTW, I have no support for politicians looting and thieving... Certainly there's no one in my family that has a criminal past. I made my own $$$ as a professional by immigrating legally to the US, so I have no reason to be defending your nanny's crime or supporting terrible African leaders. I'm just trying to insert some logic into the discussion. I actually think the vast majority of Nigeria's problems can be solved if people applied logic instead of emotion and curses. I will end there.

Livie2016:
Thanks for your comments. Investments in bringing her to the U.K. The only reason why she is in the U.K. is because I undertook responsibility for her and I brought her in. She is legally required to leave the country with me and the visa we obtained prohibits her from working with any other employer in England. Getting accomodation for her, buying her airline ticket, paying for the visa application fees, buying her suitable clothes to wear in England- those are all investments made towards her trip which fall outside the scope of regular salary payments. You're wrong to say that it's a simple matter of employee-employer relationship. If Nigerian Breweries pays for an employee to attend a course in England (hotelcost, visa fees, clothing and allowance) and the employee absconds and disappears in England, would you consider that to be a valid termination of the employment relationship?

Whether 'valid' or not, the relationship is terminated. Let me ask you, did you tell the woman before you went to the UK that the trip was an investment in her? And can you compare going for a course in the UK with other professionals to improve your business skills with being taken to work in someone's home as a nanny? Was she networking with nanny agencies while on your trip? Did you give her a hotel room where she can watch cable after an evening stroll with fellow nannies to eat gelato?

Come on now. Again, I'm not saying you were a terrible employer. She wasn't attending a seminar that enhances her resume. She was doing the same job as before, networking with the same people as before (you and your family), with a few bonuses thrown in. You need to step back and view this objectively. It doesn't matter whether it's good or bad. She left you to pursue other work and life opportunities.

How about this. If she had given you 2 weeks notice, would you have let her leave, or would you have tried to restrain her and thwart her plans? I notice some people advising you to withhold passport. It is ILLEGAL to hold another person's passport. Do that and see yourself arrested for human trafficking. Look, I get that it is disappointing and highly inconvenient. I wish she hadn't done it. You just need to fulfil your legal obligation to report her to Immigration, cut your losses and move on. In afraid there is nothing you can do to prevent this from happening again. Just like Nigerian Breweries can't prevent an employee from quitting today.

Livie2016:
Hello,

I'm in shock as I type this so thought to post this s I can get some solace. My husband and I hired a nanny when our child was 5 weeks old and she's been with us since then- he's now 17months old.

She was a good nanny and assisted me with taking care of him. In return, we really treated her very well and took her like a family member (which has turned out to be a mistake). We are Nigerians residing in Ghana- gave her a private room with private bathroom, gave her extra money when she requested, usually took her out with us to eat in restaurants, paid for her medical expenses, provided her with any and all types of food she's wanted, we had even pledged to start paying for her children's school fees (after she told us that her husband was neglecting them). Etc.

So a few months ago, I discovered that I'd need to travel to England for two months to help my sister with her newborn baby and didn't want to leave my son behind. So I applied for a nanny visa for our nanny which she granted. We arrived in the UK exactly two weeks ago and we have treated her very well here. We gave her a private room, provided her with any food she wanted, even took her shopping to buy some shoes and clothes which she could take back to Ghana. We had also planned to take her shopping to buy clothes for her children in Ghana. In addition to this she would also be getting her salary.

A few days ago, she told me that she had missed her period and wanted to take a pregnancy test. So I got a home pregnancy test- she tested positive for pregnancy. She told me that she wanted to have an abortion because she couldnt afford to have anymore children and her husband wasn't taking care of them etc. I told her to have a think about things and that we would discuss the next day. The next day she came to me and asked how much an abortion would cost etc because she wanted to have some small money sent to her etc but I told her that abortions done privately in England are far more expensive and cost about 600 pounds. That night, she didnt sleep and also didn't eat. She then confessed that she had fallen pregnant a few years ago as well and had terminated the pregnancy with some pills which she got from a herbal doctor in Ghana. She was clearly distressed by her current pregnancy and was eager to terminate it instantly but I told her that there were no herbal doctors here and that if she insists on getting a termination, she would wait until we return to Ghana where they have hospitals she can visit. My husband and I weren't prepared to spend 600 pounds on an abortion for her in England. And i personally didn't want to get involved in that- what if she suffered a complication? anyway we encouraged her to wait u until returning to Ghana.



So you can imagine my shock when I woke up this morning ( a few days later) to discover that she had vanished! Taken all her things and disappeared! I was in a trance and couldn't believe my eyes. I called the police but they said it was an immigration matter and immigration home office is closed today.

I am just so confused and sad. I feel so exploited! After all the investments we made in her and how generous we were? Treating her like a family member. She literally disappears? Why? I wish I had answers. Does she want to remain in England as an illegal immigrant or did she return to Ghana to have the abortion? Which raises the question of how she'd have gotten money to buy a return ticket? Did she get in touch with some Ghanaians in Ghana who linked her up with people who specialize in harbouring illegal immigrants? Cos she doesn't have any family in England! This is someone who had never gone beyond Nigeria!

I'm just so disappointed. Why do domestic staff behave like this? Thanks for reading.

Madam, she was your staff. Emphasis on staff. Sorry to be blunt but that woman does not belong to you. I notice you say she has a husband and children. Yet she was living in your house (in a private room) apart from her own family to take care of yours. I'm not blaming you. My point is that she is not your slave and she can leave whenever she wants for a better opportunity. I get that it's disruptive and upsetting to you. I just want you to see things from her perspective. Its one thing if she stole your TV and cash when she was leaving. It sounds like she didn't?

Your former nanny saw a better opportunity and took it. She calculated that living illegally in the UK was better than being a nanny in Ghana for someone else children. If you try to be objective, it makes sense.

bigfrancis21:
I just wanted to say that you are getting emotional over this topic, and you sound like MBA is something you want to do. I didn't mean to get you upset if I did nor discourage you. You are also quite excited over the quoted figures you've seen online and you think it is that easy but you need to be aware of these:

1) I assume that you are in Nigeria and would be studying MBA on an F1 visa. MBA is not a STEM-designated course which means that you cannot be employed on an H1B visa after graduation by any company. You will not be eligible for OPT (3-year post-graduation work opportunity for STEM students). You would need to have permanent residency to be employable nowadays which may likely take you an extra 1 to 3 years post-graduation to obtain. By the time you obtain your residency, you would not have been 'fresh off from school' as some employers prefer. Even for STEM-designated courses, with Trump's administration, chances of H1B sponsorship nowadays are very very slim.
Full list of STEM courses: https://www.ice.gov/sites/default/files/documents/Document/2016/stem-list.pdf

2) You probably don't know this but connection/knowing someone or 'networking' as they call it here is just as common as it is in Nigeria. Most of these people with 6 figures from an MBA landed their positions through old-boy friendships, connections or networking, in addition to having their MBA of course. An average Joe with an MBA can still land such high-paying positions but you have to be truly exceptional at what you do.

3) Speaking about your much-touted ROI. Now let us do the math. You spent $150,000 on average in heavy student debt to get an MBA. Let us assume that you are one lucky son of the stars and as an F1 student you graduated and out of nowhere got 'H1B sponsorship' at a $120,000 per year position right after graduation. Now you've worked so hard in school, made As and landed that $120,000 per year dream job. Wonderful.

Now you probably forgot that a heavy chunk of your income is taken away in taxes. For a $120,000 per year income, nearly $40,000 is taken from your paycheck in taxes. Precisely, $81,790 is what is left over after taxes are accounted for, which is about $6,815 per month. That is even though on paper it says that you earn $120,000, your actual take-home pay is $81,790 which is not 6-figures that you expected. https://www.taxformcalculator.com/tax/120000.html

Now it is time to start paying back all that student loan. The total amount which you will end up paying is probably over $200,000 which includes interest payments. You've graduated and the bank or financial institution has sent you a staggering bill of over $200,000 at xy% interest for 20 years with a monthly payment of $3250. Out of $6815 per month pay check ($3,145.26 every 2 weeks), you have to

- pay your student loan debt (anywhere between $3000 to $3,500 for that loan amount) per month. Read up here on this American who originally borrowed $68,000 to go to school who has to pay $113,000 back including interest. http://www.businessinsider.com/budget-paying-student-loans-2016-7 For this lady, she has to pay $2230 in monthly student loan payment for a bill of $113,000. For a bill of over $200k, you can expect your monthly payments to be nearly twice as $2230.

- pay your house rent (anywhere from $700 to $3000 depending on the housing type, number of rooms in the apartment rented, level of luxurious living) or monthly mortgage payments (if you bought a home)
- pay your utilities (you pay for all the 24-hour light, gas, Internet and running water that you enjoy - $100 to $350 on average depending on your level of usage)
- pay your monthly phone bill ($50 on average)
- pay your monthly auto loan (anywhere from $250 to $400)
- pay your monthly car insurance (anywhere from $80 to as high as $500 depending on how often you get into accidents, if you constantly get police tickets for overspeeding, running the red/stop light/sign etc. which stay on your driving record and bump up your monthly payments)
- pay for gassing up for your car ($100 on average)
- pay for feeding/groceries ($100 on average, that is if you can cook, which saves you more money than eating out)
- credit card bills/debt (if you accumulate any)
- miscellaneous expenses (such as parking tickets, tolls, relatives back home etc.)

Miscellaneous expenses: maybe in some months you manage to squeeze out $100 per month to save $500 and before you know it your family relative calls you from Nigeria telling you how they are suffering asking you to send them ordinary $1,000 so that they can start enjoying life. You look at your savings and you barely have $500 saved up and you don't know how to communicate this to your relative after all you already boasted to them sometime ago that you earn 6 figures per year. These calls just never stop coming in regularly. Now you are stuck in the rat race of majority of Americans - living from paycheck to paycheck and you dare cannot afford to lose your job.

At the end of the month, you are left with nothing as you struggle month to month servicing your $200k debt in student loans. High ROI isn't it?
It would be so easy for you to imagine an adjusted $81,000 per annum salary on a debt of over $200,000 as good ROI.

Bravo. People on here get seduced by packaging. Hopefully those who have ears will hear word. Speaking of top schools, I know a Nigerian a few years ago who used his life savings to go to IMD MBA with hopes of relocating. He couldn't find a job and returned to Nigeria to the same company he was trying to leave. Before someone starts blaming the guy, let me say we need to stop looking down on people who struggle overseas. Until you have walked in their shoes, you have no idea how tough it is. Let me tell you that a Harvard MBA who got a job at Goldman is not going to be half as judgemental of his fellow alumni who are struggling as people on Nairaland who never smell Cambridge.

Spurdo:
New York Times is a Jewish propaganda paper. They sell lies to excuse their crimes and push them onto others. New York Times is completely untrustworthy.

Wawu..

This is how people show their selves.

SaudiBoy:
Greeting to everyone. I am in serious dilemma and need matured advice.

I dated my wife for 8 years before we got married last year and God blessed us recently with a child.

My problem began when my business nose dived and we began facing a little difficulty, my wife's sister who happens to be my good friend also stepped in and helped us with a loan totalling 340k which i have paid 190k and still making out ways to pay back the rest.
During those trying times my wife and i would go there and spend days to alleviate pressure of feeding, please i went there with her because I felt welcomed and they never made me feel i was Inlaw, a stranger will think am part of the mums children.

Now the main gbese is this, my wife's mum has been staying with us since this year, taking care of wifey as she put to bed and we have been living peacefully.

Now my mum wanted to come and spend time with us, and the problem started when my mum told me to come with my car and carry her as things she bought for us were too much for her to carry and enter public bus, and i agreed. I went to inform my wife and she kicked against it, citing high fuel cost and lack of money. I talked to her to forget about the money side of her story and see it as a sacrifice. It is a 6 hour journey to and fro.
When she saw she could not convince me, she reported to her sister who tried to talk me out of going to pick my mum, but i refused and told her my mind was made up. Then my wife resorted to i will see those things your mother will bring and come.

Then it got to the day i was going to pick my mum, I called my wife and told her i want your mum to stay and be bathing baby and taking care of you, as I know my mum is now lazy and can't do these work continually, they both agreed. I went and brought my mum home. And the journey to hell started.

There is this girl married with two kids i have warned my wife about to quit been friends with her as despite been married she is a big cheat who sleeps with men for money. So this girl came to my house to visit my wife, and there was this white man at my wife's former place of work that my wife has been chatting with, I read all their chats and had nothing to fault with their conversation, until i discovered my wife sent scantly dressed pictures of her friend to the white man and gave the man the girls contact. I was very furious and felt disappointed, y she did this, that was where my anger started.

So I told her point blank to quit every conversation with the said white man, but she told me plainly she has her life to live and i cannot tell her what to do. This word hurt me and i harboured it in my heart for her.

I and her mum tried to talk to her she didn't still see what she did as bad, then i reported her to her sister whom I felt was close to us and will advice her but no she continued her chat and instead changed her phone pattern.

So we started having issues, every small thing irritated me, then my wife started complaining about my mum, once i go to work and come back, no welcome hug, it will be ur mum said this. Therefore i should Go and fight her if that was her expectation.

The wrong thing I did was not hearing her out, because I already had this grudge in my mind for her bcoz of the statement she made about the white man. And I was already under pressure, how to pay off my debts feed and provide for my family and the 2 additional mouths that came, run generator everyday, and doing everything not to allow my family feel any form of hardship.

Then one day her sister called me and there was nothing she did not say on phone that day, my wife called her and was crying my mum was maltreating her and i kept quiet.
In her sisters exact words, u should be happy my sister married you bcoz she would have seen a better man. These are now the words my wife tells me.

Now the main problem my mum fell sick and she wanted to go back, fuel has now become 145, she met my wife and asked her how will she go if i will drop her or she will take public transport, my wife came to ask me and i ignored it because I didn't want to stir up quarrel. So I met my mother in-laws and told her i would like to go and drop my mum and she said OK if i have spare money for fuel i should do it that moreover my mum is sick.

I wanted to go look for a way to tell my wife but my mum was already dressed thinking she was going that day and was in the room with my wife, and i was to take my mum to somewhere before she goes, and she was in a hurry, I couldn't tell her anymore of my decision, and promised to call her on phone. Only for me to come to the parlor, in front of my mother in-law,i told my mum I would drop her but she had to wait till the next day early morning as I had jobs I needed to attend to.

I then left with my mum to the place she was going to and when we came back, I was with my wife in the room and she was shouting on top her voice, that I shud choose between her and my mum, and that if I go and drop my mum off at her place, she will pack her load and go. I laughe thinking it was a joke.
So mum heard what she said and left my house in anger, in retaliation, that's how i feel, she went to make her hair, as my wife has been begging to come let them go and make her, she cited sickness as example. When I saw my mum with the hair i was bitter and told her to better look for an excuse to give my wife.

She came home and my wife saw the hair and was deeply hurt, mum tried talking to her but it couldn't pacify here, i begged her she refused, so I decided to leave the house and go back to my work, at the door my wife told me to make sure i come back early as she won't givevny mum food, I begged her still, called her when i left and sent an SMS from work, but alas when I got home around past 11pm she didn't give my mum food.

I called my wife, mum and mum Inlaw and tried talking to them so that what ever venom in them will soften, I spoke at length and my mum spoke, when it got to my wife's turn, she flared up and insulted everyone and left, I was disappointed.

The next day morning my mum was finally going to leave, my wife woke up, met her at the door and passed her without greeting and when we were about to leave my wife never came back to say good bye

I travelled and came back and true to her words she packed out of our house and went to Her sisters house.
I called her sister to enquire she wouldn't answer, I went to her house and for 2 hours nobody opened the gate for me, despite hearing my horns and my many calls to her phone which she finally picked and told Me no one was around to open gate for me, quite shortly I saw my mum Inlaw, I asked her how can she encourage her dorta to pack out of the house, she said she was not around when she packed. So my wife's sister knowing her mum was at the gate sent someone to open it and since I was still outside called me she was sending someone to open gate for me, in anger I left and told her not to worry as she was opening it for her mum.
I called my sister in-laws husband and informed him my wife packed to his house without my consent and he was away from town and said when he come back.

He came back and called me after talking to us, I told him I have already changed the padlock of our protector that my wife must apologise before i will let her in again. my wife's response was that she needed a break of 6 months then changed to she was done.

I posted a picture of me holding our baby and wrote some love touching words to him, my wife saw it and became very upset and jelos, and the new accusation became I value our child more than her and don't appreciate her. Then I went to work only to come back home, I saw the locks to the house has been broken, I met my wife packing her remaining things that she needs space, I tried talking to her, next thing her sister called that what is holding her, my wife said I was stopping her, her sister came to my house packed my wife's things including my mum in-laws things, before they left I called my mum Inlaw to ask if she was aware and she said yes, that she heard because of how my wife treated my mum that I said she will not come to my house again, a word I said out of anger. That was how they left.

It's been 3 weeks now I have forgiven my wife and we have settled and she even passed a night in the house and we made mad love

Now she wants to come back, I told her plainly I will not carry those load her sister carried, either she forgets them or I send a cab for her. She agreed to leave the load and come pick her later, immediately she told her sister, the music changed, my wife became abusive and told me if I won't come myself and carry the load then I should forget about her and my child, that she will never use a cab since I have a car and her sister cannot bring the load.

At this juncture I became irritated. Seriously I don't want a broken home since am a product of one, and I know the effects it has on a child.

For 3 weeks I have been jumping from canteen to canteen, I don't know what to do, if to go and bring the load or just allow them to remain there.

Please i need candid advice and criticism, not insult as am already broken.

Am 31 and my wife is 26



****** modified***********

Reading through let me make something clear about the money i borrowed from my in-law

You see am not broke, I live in an comfortable house, drive a good car, and have a land in the state i reside, with a back up bank balance that gave me confidence, but overnight i watched all i have go away due to circumstance better imagined.

I own a truck used for sand and stone transportation, and people into this business will know drivers remit 150k weekly.

My problem started when my truck was involved in an accident which cost a life and also condemned the car, my driver disappeared from the scene and my conductor was in custody for 13weeks

After police case and everything, I paid the family 2.5m for burial and compensation, I paid 400k to the driver of the car my truck hit, bailed my conductor, my truck and closed the police case with 150k.

So this expense cost me 3m that was y i had to seek that loan.

Now i decided not to engage in the trucking business anymore and sell off the truck, but the best price I have gotten from a buyer is 1.5m for a truck i bought 4.5m 2 years ago, so i refused to sell. Still waiting for the right price. To pay off my debt and run my home, I am secretly using my car for uber without my wife's knowledge.although she said i should just sell the truck and start again

I don't want to believe my wife is about the money because she met be broke and we built our wealth together before finally getting married, my problem is during this crisis, she started confiding in her sisters more, and this is where it has landed me




****** modified*********
You see there is more to this story that meets the eye.
That is why I decided to be calm about this whole issue, because it has really opened my eyes, I don't believe this has to do with the money i loaned because the sisters husband also loans money from me atimes,
And pays back, I was very very close to them.

I only soft pedalled on this issue because it is very clear to me there is a grand script been planned by my sister in-laws out of jelousy, because she has been childless for 7 years of marriage.

My wife made a statemet that startled me, that she will send me divorce papers, and that the baby been just 2months, court will award her custody and she will just give the baby to her sister and travel out.

Then i started working on my wife's senses, talking to her until she became soft and we settled my wife she needed time to heal, I offered her to come back home and heal she said know that her sister just had another miscarriage and she needs to be with her.

Now the day my wife came to visit me and decided to sleep over, the sister called her, I pretended to be asleep and I could hear the sister say, now now now, u Don run go sleep there bcoz of sex. The next day it was clear my wife didn't want to go back, I dropped her off around 2pm and before the sister agreed to to open gate for her, it was war after much exchange of whatsapp message

I stopped reading half-way through. Too much drama. Here's what I think
- either one or both of you is incredibly immature. that's the 1st problem
- too many people are involved in your marriage. I lost track once you added sister in law
- unfortunately your parents primed you for dysfunction when they abused you as a child.

Sir, would you believe there are marriages where this kind of thing will never happen?? Does your wife work? Whose money is it being spent on fuel, yours or hers? Sorry, but I think this marriage is doomed. You need to take a step back and seek counseling from someone that is not your family.

wholesomegrace:
Booking space

Any idea on how to start a creche will be appreciated. I would also have to start my research

Please don't start any business that involves small children in western countries. Have you raised a child without
- shouting
- hissing
- pulling
- smacking

Do you know what the laws are in the country you are going to? Do you know what happens if you are perceived to break them Its like people don't think things through �

Oya let me tell you a true story that happened in the US. A coworker of mine decided to start a daycare at home. Very nice and gentle lady. The husband was the one running the daycare. He had a background in early childhood education. He wanted to run the daycare and once it took off the wife would quit her job and join him. The two of them are from the middle East. Wife is a UK citizen. But both were in US working.

Husband opens daycare. One oyinbo lesbian couple brings their daughter. I heard all of this after the fact. But the summary is the husband is as I type [b]SITTING IN JAIL [/b]for allegedly killing the baby. The child's limbs were broken and no one knows if it was the daycare that did it or the parents. But you know who got blamed (right or wrong)? The foreigner. Do you know what people in jail do to accused child abusers or child killers??

See his picture here from when he was arrested.
http://www.bethesdamagazine.com/Bethesda-Beat/Web-2016/Rockville-Day-Care-Operator-Charged-in-Death-of-Infant/

Someone gave him a black eye and this was even before the trial.

So there was a mistrial but they will not release him yet. My coworker had to raise $1 million for the lawyer. People were doing fundraisers. They have a 6 or 7 year old (who was also in the daycare) and now a baby the man has never met because the baby was born while he was in jail. Their lives are OVER. I heard the wife just wants him out of prison so they can relocate to a different part of the US where nobody knows them. Probably they will have to change their names.

The 1st time I heard this, I thought how stupid can one be to open a home daycare. Its just not worth the risk!!! If something goes wrong, your life is over.

Don't even try it.

justwise:
This sort of silly accusation need to stop, if you have nothing more to say just move on.

I locked this thread and the supper mod reopened it and here you are making silly allegations.

Why exactly did you lock the thread? I have no dog in this fight. But from where I sit it doesn't make you look good at all.

jnyuwa02:
There have been a few who scaled through with dual intent, meaning applying for PR and TRV at the same time. One applicant was denied here and the VO explicitly pointed to his PR application as a reason to believe he would be an immigrant if granted non immigrant visa. It's your call. If I were in your shoes though, I will do the TRV first and see the outcome and if I don't succeed, I would go for the EXpress. If you do the Express first, the VO can still point to your past EXpress Entry as a reason to deny you that is why I advice TRV first.

I agree with this. If your friend had already submitted the PR application, that is one thing (this happened to me). But he hasn't even applied for PR yet. They should focus on getting the student visa.

thekingskiddy:
Hello everyone in the house. I have been following this thread for a while now and benefitted a lot from the discussions here. Due to the inspiration i received from here, I have joined the pool. However, I have a dilemma of sorts. I might likely get a PhD offer from a Canadian University and that will mean that I need to plan to be in Canada by late August for study start. So here is the problem:
If I apply for PR already now (I am confident I will get ITA cos my score is 456), will I be able to also apply for a student visa for my possible PhD offer in case the PR process is not fast enough and I need to resume in September. That is, will it be possible to make a study visa application with the PR application being yet undecided? Also, I am worried that applying for PR already might have a negative effect on any study visa application.

Second, does anyone know how to get Police certificate from Nigeria without being in the country? I read sometime ago that it was possible through some company/agency, but I am not entirely sure.

Sorry my questions are a long read. Please help.
Thank you in anticipation.

Read the below link. The one thing I will say is that it is very late to not already be applying for the study visa if you plan to be in Canada in August. Have you looked at processing times for study visa in your country?

https://www.canada.ca/en/immigration-refugees-citizenship/corporate/publications-manuals/operational-bulletins-manuals/temporary-residents/visitors/dual-intent-applicants.html

mosbiod:
big congratulations, silent reader aye. wehdone ma!
this your timeline complete so?? or maybe you are not an impatient type like some of us that will be checking CIC's website every morning for an update

I no follow am at all at all. Nah passport request I dey look.

Glad to say that I have received the passport request.

Express Entry profile submitted Aug 21, 2017
ITA - Aug 24
AOR - Nov 21
PPR - February 9, 2018

ikpuru1234:
I called them as well they said I will be linked to them if am really in a danger from him, like those stalking types. That I also have to file against him at police. But other benefit I cannot get due to visa status. We are citizens of where we moved from and they are good with women. They gave me option of since I have a good profession I should wait until I start work then go and rent. I will keep searching. I wish I could get a temp accomodation now so i dont have to wait until 2-3months. Landlords also dont take unemployed people even with 3 months upfront; which I suggested as i have some savings.
He sent me a text message 'I am sorry" yet we stay in the same house. It shows me his type of heart that you could do that kind of atrocity and feel that 3 typed words will make it alright.

Okay. It sounds like they told you to make a plan for the next 3 months of finding a job ASAP, then getting an place to move to. You just need to be careful over those three months. Save money secretly. Open a bank account he does not know of. Pretend that you are okay with things, even make up a reason why you want to get a job ("I see you work so hard honey, just want to help" and don't try to argue with him, just do it. The man is dangerous, and you just want you and your kids to survive. I hope the place you went to has an emergency shelter or can refer you to one? Make sure you have that info in case your husband goes bersek one day.

These websites provide some advice. Do not log into them on any device your husband has access to!1 Do not let him know that you are planning to leave in the future.

https://www.womenslaw.org/about-abuse/safety-tips/domestic-violence-victims/safety-when-preparing-leave-abuser

http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/news-and-views/shine-a-light/getting-out-safely-how-to-leave-an-abusive-partner-20161019-gs5vc4.html

https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/verbalabuseinrelationships/2011/05/develop-an-exit-strategy-how-to-stop-verbal-abuse-part-5/

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/apr/28/i-had-the-courage-to-leave-an-abusive-relationship


I hope you make it. I really do.

ikpuru1234:
It’s obvious to me that my marriage has finally crashed down. I always have an argument with my husband almost every month. To think we have been married for 11 years its an understatement as my marriage keep getting worse each year. My husband has this mentality that his own idea or opinion on a subject it’s the best, therefore, anytime I have a different opinion he will shout and get us into quarrelling.
We have not quarreled since November, so two days ago we were just watching a movie and there was a scene where a church member was discussing her marital problem to the pastor without knowing that pastor and his wife are going through worse rough patches in their own marriage. I quickly stated this is why couples should try and settle their marital problems without a third party. I added this is what I was telling you when you told our friend about our problem. He didn’t even allow me to finish, he started yelling, shouting, calling me names like idiots, pussy, to the extent that he came back from inside the room and spat on me many times, that I had to spat back before he now left my personal space. I was shocked at how much he reacted. If I didn’t know him I would have thought he was under the influence of drug/alcohol. Our kids came out from the room and was shouting we should stop that spatting, screaming it was gross. They are just under 10 years.

The following day, I demanded his audience that I would like to discuss about what happened yesterday. He said he is not listening that I should go and learn about marriage. I told him that him spitting on me was demeaning, and I would not accept it, but he started shouting again and even spat on me 3 times again, saying I cannot do anything, that every time I keep reminding him something of the past. I now told him that our marriage is over. He said if you like pack your things and leave but I will not leave the house for you.

We recently moved to another country so I am not working, he is the only one working. I supported him and left my well paid job to migrate to a different country and this is what I got from him. I believe he did this because I don’t have any job or anywhere to run to in this new place. We have had our shares of arguments but spitting on me I take it as last straw. I would have left house but no place to go. I went to help Centre they said I could get support if I press charges as spitting is also an offence where we are. But I don’t really want to go that route.
I have gotten a part time job which I will resume hopefully end of the month. I have been thinking on two options now. To cut the story short.

Option 1: continue living with him until I get enough money in the next three months, rent a new house and vamoose with my children.
Option 2: live together as housemates, don’t get into much discussion with him, no sleeping together(to me this option is just because of what people, my family will say and kids).

My heart is yearning for option one because he has an anger problem, he has hit me before about 8 years ago, I called police, since then he doesn’t hit me but still comes close to me during arguments by shrugging or just giving me a push. I feel him spitting on me was another way of running away from hitting me. I dread hitting me would have been his option if we were living in Nigeria. Our kids are growing and watching him screaming on top of his voice, this scares my daughter from getting married as she has mentioned he doesn’t want to be screaming with his husband that she will not get married. I also have ended up learning some of his silly behavior just to show him how it feels such as screaming back, cutting phones as he does this all the time if he feels you have a different view, keeping malice for days. Usually I am not that person but I have tried to get him stop doing that all to no avail. Am tired. When my mum came around to our place, on different occasions he made her stay terrible with bad behavior of picking quarrel with me and keeping malice including at my mum. He watches pornography and blames me I don’t give him intimacy. Although I had a talk severally about the impact of that as our kids use his phones and laptop and may be exposed as sometimes he leaves the page on and sleeps off. I told him I will try and give it to him anytime he comes, but few months ago, I noticed he still goes there.
Obviously, we are both not happy in the relationship. He doesn’t show remorse and for the fact that I will be walking on egg shell all the time scares me. I feel like separating for a while will do us good, also we could get counselling and his management on anger if we decide to come back together. He can keep malice forever, always blaming me for all his problems. Very emotional and sensitive human being. I am tired of his immaturity and it seems the older he gets worse it becomes, he will be 45 soon. Any advice on what step to take is highly appreciated.

I think you need to wise up to what is going on. Women always think "my own will be different". Other women like you have gotten killed one day by the husband is in a fit of anger. They too thought they could manage the situation. They too reasoned well, he has not hit me in 8 years. He only called me names.

You need to research if the laws in your country of residence have protection for women who are not permanent residents. Google a domestic violence shelter in your area - I guarantee there is one. Not a help centre, an organization that specializes in women experiencing violence in the home. Explain your visa situation, explain your financial constraints, tell them everything. Then ask them what are your options. I am assuming you are on a visa, based on your post. If you aren't, then you really have no excuse for remaining in the marriage. Still, I guarantee you "report him to the police" is not the only option., or if it is they will tell you what will happen after and how it will benefit you.

TWoods:
Having obtained two h1bs, both cap h1bs, myself, I think I know that it is a lottery. It is a lottery because that was the only option the USCIS could come up with since the cap was exceeded every year. Remove the filings from Indian IT firms and the lottery goes away. How do I know? There was no lottery in 2010 when I obtained my first h1b. You applied and got approved in 2 months flat.

My point wasn’t misleading at all, you either did not understand it or you just want to be contrarian, to show that you-too-know.

I made the point that if a top US employer wants you and you have the requisite skills, they will get you. You can directly apply for a green card during your OPT without ever needing an h1b. A lot of European postdocs do this. No executive order can change that process, it is the law.

I did understand your point, and was saying that an executive order isn't even needed because the H1B Visa process will wean most people out. So far, you've called me unnecessarily alarmist, contrarian and "too know". Not my arguments, but me as a person. Any more veiled insults you want to lob at me?

I'm sorry but using the European post-doc (aliens of extraordinary ability) as an example is misleading because in order to sponsor yourself for a GC you have to prove that you are an extraordinary alien and I guarantee you that no one on this board fits the bill. If they did, they would'nt be looking to Nairaland for advice. One of my more senior coworkers did this - she had to send newspaper articles written about her, as one of the first Kenyan women to get a PhD, and had household name leaders within our sector to write letters saying she was demonstrably a unique expert in her field. This is the track that people like Lupita Nyongo and the like use to get a green card.

http://curranberger.com/achievement-based/overview-applying-for-a-green-card-without-an-employer-sponsor/

I don't think its fair to imply that this is a viable option for people.

Clearly you have some experience with the US system. But clearly so do I. We can agree to disagree. My disagreeing with you does not make me contrarian (that implies you are the expert ). It means I have a slightly different experience than you do.

TWoods:
You're being unnecessarily alarmist. People should feel free to come here and study. The H1B visa has not changed and is not likely to change much... the difference is that the visa is now being applied more stringently. The H1B was meant to be for people with rare skills. Unfortunately it's been abused by mostly IT companies who have been using it to bring in low skilled cheap labor from India. There are two reasons the H1B appears to be getting more difficult:
1. Unlike before where renewals of H1Bs was almost a given, now each renewal is now treated as a fresh application.
2. they are now scrutinizing H1Bs to ensure that it is indeed going to the best and brightest - for example, does your job REALLY require an advanced skill? Are you being paid wages commensurate with your skill? The folks who are getting hit the hardest are Indian IT companies who now have to justify every single cheap labor H1B.

Don't forget also, there are literally thousands of H1B folks here. Considering that the feds have been in a hiring freeze for a while, it is getting more difficult to process each application/renewal in record time.

This goes back to a lot of the advice I've given here before that folks like to dismiss - apply and get in to top schools! Go for degrees that are in demand (not social work and criminal justice), degrees that guarantee you a skilled job that American employers are seeking to fill. If a top US employer is looking to hire you with top pay, there is no executive order that can stop you. If you attended a 1-building school to earn a masters in English... well sorry. You get what you get.

Also, there is only so much executive orders can do. The OPT and H1B are enshrined in law and only congress can make substantive changes to them. The president can tighten a few screws with executive orders here and there but there is a limit to his power. Left to Trump, the diversity visa lottery system would long have ended and you would no longer be able to petition for an immigrant visa for relatives... but again, this requires legislative change and there is nothing he can do to this. This is not the Buhari government.

Am I being alarmist? I'm sure the jews who warned other jews to leave germany during Hitler's rise to power were also "alarmist." I'm not saying Trump is Hitler o. My point is that no one in the US government is going to come to you and tell you in detail how they are going to make life difficult for you as a potential immigrant. It is up to you to read the signs and understand the times ahead of time, before the bad stuff actually happens.

Not sure what Buhari has to do with anything - I've lived in the US for over a decade, including on h1b visas, and have no idea what the Buhari government is like. I am telling people what is going on, and took the time to provide evidence through reputable news sources. I notice you haven't provided any evidence for your claims, beyond your own say-so.

I should however address the bolded above because it really is misleading. The H1B visa is essentially a lottery. You realize that right? It does not matter if Google or Morgan Stanley wants to hire you if you don't win the lottery. The people exempt from the lottery (especially at masters level) have to be working for nonprofits (which is how I got my own h1B).

https://redbus2us.com/news-uscis-completes-h1b-2018-lottery-199k-petitions-received/

Its also illuminating that your advice to people is to get into "top schools" and to choose degrees that are in demand (such as IT and finance, I presume). I say interesting, as there are countries (like Canada) where you don't actually have to be extraordinary and study only science-related degrees in the top schools, and your parents don't have to pay the high US tuition fees to possibly get to work longer than 1 year of OPT. The way I see it, people have two options 1) prove that you are extraordinary and worthwhile enough to be granted a H1B work visa in the US as a graduate, OR 2) prove that you graduated, are smart and can work hard, and learned things from your degree to be granted a work visa and permanent residency in Canada as a graduate. Which one is better for your health, self-esteem and long-term stability? Which one carries the least risK?

Anyway, I have said my piece. It is up to the individual to decide what they want to do. But they certainly can't claim that "nobody told me" how hard it will be.

jamoyakz:
exactly my submission but the gurus have made me believed that it's mere ranting(I hope so ) happy new year

I live in the US. Trust me, it is NOT just ranting. The gurus are 100% wrong. Trump's Twitter rants have been turned into executive orders (Muslim ban), actual policy and changes in bureaucratic procedures.

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-immigration-employment-insight/trump-administration-red-tape-tangles-up-visas-for-skilled-foreigners-data-shows-idUSKCN1BV0G8

To be blunt, no Nigerian can afford to engage in wishful thinking. The above link reports on how under the Trump administration all of a sudden work visas are being delayed, requirements are getting more stringent and uncertainty about whether you can work in the US has increased. Make no mistake, there are multiple examples of this. What people need to understand is that the White House didn't just change in January 2017. The entire Washington DC government bureaucracy changed. Trump, his nazi-sympathizing advisors (Steve Bannon and Stephen Miller) and the GOP systematically changed the staffing of the agencies that implement policy.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/how-the-trump-era-is-changing-the-federal-bureaucracy/2017/12/30/8d5149c6-daa7-11e7-b859-fb0995360725_story.html?utm_term=.fc1a5c9b9cd0

He is not only cutting staffing. He has been appointing department heads that swear loyalty to him and his agenda. I live in DC so I am seeing firsthand that Trump has the power to remove heads of agencies and replace them with mini Trump's. Here is the new head of US Citizenship and Immigration.

http://immigrationimpact.com/2017/05/31/uscis-director-testifies-senate/

His appointment was successful. People need to start listening to what Trump says about immigration, especially immigration from Africa. He is very clear that 1) white Europeans are preferred, 2) skilled immigrants take jobs from Americans and depress wages.

And if you're thinking, well I'm a student so that won't affect me. Know that your only option for working legally in the US after graduation is through the H1-B visa. See my first link above on what's going on with the visa. Honestly I wouldn't advise anyone to come to study in the US now, unless 1) it's a 4 year plus program, in which case you might find that Trump removed from office in 2020, and I won't even encourage you to hope for that, 2) your family is rich and moving back to Nigeria will be fun for you, 3) you get into an Ivy League 2 year masters and you do not have to take out loans to pay for school.

I hate to be a Debbie downer, but a word is enough for the wise. TBH even before Trump the H1-B system was broken. Nigerians who haven't lived in the US on a visa have NO IDEA that it is entirely possible to work on visas for 8-10 years without seeing permanent residency. Canada may not be as exciting as America, but their policy not just for immigration but also for study is much more humane.

Slik07:
If you submit your application, you can be called for biometric the next day or the same day or few days later as the case may be. Then medical after few weeks or few months. No interview is required unless in a rare situation.

Thank you!

Hi all - first apologies if this has been answered elsewhere. I am currently in the US, but will be returning to Nigeria in about a month. I want to start the application for the Canada study visa (got admission to a masters program). But I am not clear on what happens after I submit my application online. How soon can I expect either a request for passport or request for interview from the embassy in Nigeria? This will affect when I submit app (eg. if the request comes 2 months after, I can submit now. If it normally comes within a week of submission, I should wait until I'm about to move to Nigeria). I notice the CIC website states processing time of 18 weeks. Just not clear on where in the process does interaction with the Abuja embassy starts.
Thanks all.

OP this is Nairaland. The commenters here will blame you for the maltreatment simply because you are a woman. See how several people are insinuating that you trapped him with pregnancy That's what the (mostly men) do here. In their world view, men are naturally rational and sensible. Women are the opposite.

If you want real advice go elsewhere. Go to Bellanaija where the women are. All you will get here is abuse.

BluFlyBoy:
Wow this thread has blown up. But I've already decided I will get my stay here in the states and fight for it as much as I can.

Indeed!

OP I was in your situation 2 years ago. It was 2 years ago I was ready to move back to Nigeria from the U.S. after 13 years of getting bachelors and masters and working. I joined that company Move Back to Nigeria, even paid for a consultant to talk to me about moving back. I started applying to jobs. Nothing was picking up. Then recession hit. Fear catch me - the stories about people suffering because they lost their job... it was scary. Today I am preparing to move back to Nigeria in a few months months. Here is how I did it: 1) Applied and was accepted to graduate programs in Canada 2) Saved a lot of money.

I am moving back with a clear goal in mind - to REST from working, and see my parents - and with an exit strategy - leaving for Canada for school. I will only be in Nigeria for a few months, but it is more than enough to help me figure out if I want to live there permanently. But, I will do everything I can to get Canadian passport before even thinking of moving permanently to Nigeria.

The truth is Nigeria is a failed state. Its easy to get seduced by privileged friends and articles on naija websites by returnees talking about all the cool things they are doing. make no mistake, ALL NA WASH. You know what I started doing 1.5 years ago when I realized I couldn't move back to Nigeria yet? Anytime I read some post about some young person under 40 doing a cool business in Nigeria or going to cool parties, being into "fashion" (in the case of women), I googled and researched the person's background. You will be amazed at how majority of comfortable Nigerians under 40 who are living the life are subsidized by their parents!! Let me give you some examples.
Friend 1 - started a nice business and a human rights NGO and was living in Lekki driving a nice jeep. Her parents gave her free housing, bought her that car, and gave her the rental space to start BOTH her businesses.
Friend 2 - moved back to attend law school in Nigeria then worked at as lawyer and was living the life, going to clubs. Again, parents gave her free housing, bought her the car, and actually have paid 100% for the THREE degrees she has from top schools.

The other day I was looking at pictures of this beautiful Nigerian fashionista, thinking about how nice it would be to live at home where I can be rocking ankara and woodin outfits up and down. I went an looked at her linkedin. This woman is an editor for an online magazine in naija - that is her main job. There is no way she can be living so comfortably on her magazine salary. Until I saw which secondary school she went to. Then it became clear - the parents were at it again!

In summary, I know people who have moved back to Nigeria. I do not know one person who willingly moved back and stayed there who did not have 1) western passport OR 2) wealthy parents. The people I know who have been forced to relocate, frankly their lives don't seem that attractive and given the opportunity I know they will get the hell out of Nigeria. One of them found a job in eastern Europe of all places, just to escape.

Your best bet is to try to get Canadian residency. By this time next year, you will have it, instead of waiting for the Americans to listen to your pleas and give you the green card. If you are itching for a change and are unsure about US prospects, apply to Canada. Right now the government is handing out green cards like water. This is not going to last. In fact last time I was home I heard that Nigerians are gaming the system, getting other Nigerians in Canada to file fraudulently for permanent residency. You think the Canadians won't learn this soon? And once they do, the door and window will be shut to you and I. Take advantage of the option that is available to you now. It may not be there forever.

I will never understand the nigerian obsession with using agents. People, THERE ARE NO SHORTCUTS to immigration. Is this agent an immigration lawyer? It would be incredibly stupid for your cousin to use him when he can apply for a degree or express entry on his own.