₦airaland Forum

ImaIma1:
What I saw online thst Reno said didn't include spending frivolous. It was spending at all.

My last paragraph is as objective as day. Show me one man who has never spent N100 on his girlfriend, then you can term it subjective. Even you forming amazon here have spent your money on your girlfriend, no matter how little.

I'm done with the first paragraph. I even outlined it for you. Can't do more than that.

Your second is still subjective. You said Reno always talks nonsense, like it's a norm with him. I disagree. I find him enlightening.

Don't tell me that you are still bothered by this spending issue. It's really simple. I DONT SPEND MONEY BECAUSE OF LOVE BUT NECESSITY. AND I HAVE NEVER GIVEN ANY WOMAN MONEY SOLELY BECAUSE SHE IS DATING ME. DATING ME IS NOT A JOB THAT REQUIRES ME PAYING HER WAGES. I had to embolden that for you since you don't seem to get it still.

N.B: Amazon's are women, I'm a man. You wish me bad luck or what?

ImaIma1:
If his quote was "spending needlessly/ frivolously on a woman just because you are dating is stupidity" it would have been more understandable.

Reno knows the situation of the country and how people are struggling. We know he is trying to appeal to the average guy who thinks he is broke. He knows it will give them succour and argument points.

But he can do it with a little more sense. Well...it's Reno, he can't help but talk and most times, nonsense.

First paragraph is closer to what Reno meant. Maybe he didn't say it plainly enough. Dont worry, I have said it clearly.

Your second paragraph is funny, you and who are the 'we'?? . He has been saying so many things from religion,to economy and relationships from way back, so which succour is he giving broke men? They need money and food,not mere words of online comfort. He personally gave out 2.3M on palliatives during the lockdown. That's who I call a doer,not just a talker

On your last paragraph, that's subjective. I find his talks enlightening enough.

maasoap:
You said that was for me. I would have loved to address the comment but I don't really understand how it was meant for me, honestly. I read it twice but I still didn't get it. Thanks.

Once again, I'm not a fan of brutalising kids. I went through that shiity process and I realised that it wasn't the best way to raise kids. Me passing through it didn't mean that it was great.

I showed you the benefits of training your child. Sometimes, stubborn children need the cane,it's not the beating per se,but the process of recognising that they did wrong and you let them know every action has consequences.

On your second paragraph, if you went through that SHITTY process while young, I shudder to think of what you put your parents and teachers through. You prolly frustrated the life out of them and here you are giving me the impression that YOU WERE BEATEN BACAUSE YOU WERE INNOCENT. No one beats a well behaved child, no one.

maasoap:
You never lived near a teacher's house for once? Or how many times did you see your teacher brutalising his children from your primary school to University?
It will be allowed to slide when we stop disagreeing

My parents are teachers, so please just keep it moving.

I don't agree with your views. No be by force.

ImaIma1:
What Reno said is...spending money on someone you are dating is stupidity. Meaning that you should not spend even one naira, whether it is on food, water, drinks, tissue paper, pad, etc. He did not say on school fees, house rent, phones, neither did he mention girls with entitlement mentality. You implied that.

He is saying you shouldn't even buy gala and bottle water for her when you buy for yourself in traffic. Do you do that? I don't think so.

Have you ever dated a girl and you didn't spend even on her bus fare as you guys were together or bought her roadside donut and pure water or taken her to an eatery? I don't think so.

So if you could spend money on people you don't know or like. Will you withhold spending money on the girl you are dating simply because you are dating and you don't want to be termed stupid by Reno?

That is my point. Nobody can date without spending money, whether it is fishroll you buy or pencil or coke. It's not possible. Money will be spent.

His exact words were "spending money on a woman just because you are dating her,is not generosity but stupidity'. Then, he used a phone as a reference,which I quoted. Check his original post. I'm sure he wasn't talking of fishroll or pencil or coke. You implied that.

Then, why are you so bothered? His audience is men, not women. If the topic was 'women who spend money on men they date are stupid', I'd understand he was insulting your gender. He said that because men are always in the habit of spending needlessly in relationships and that's not proof of love(to women,maybe,since they are the major gainers) and should prioritize. You keep pushing the narrative that's not possible for men not to SPEND, neglecting addressing it to the women as well, EXACTLY what Reno is saying. Subtly pushing the narrative that men must spend as proof of love is what I don't agree with. It's a relationship. Women don't love or are allergic to opening their wallets? You said you spend on your man right? Then, maybe you are one of the few outliers. But Reno and most of us here know that relationship these days is like a never ending mudafucking daycare.

Oshokalo:
Omo no be small thing,because she wanted to be sure if I love her,she com go fake pregnancy,

An ex once did this shiit to me. She didn't like the consequences.

ImaIma1:
If you can spend for people you don't love, how much more those dear to your heart...

I don't agree with Reno. Spending is not about paying house rent, school fees or taking over responsibility for someone. For me, just walking by a shop and I see something my man will love and I buy it, or shopping for myself and buying something for him too.

Even Reno cannot swear that he dated his wife without spending a dime. When we mention spending, people think of buying iPhone, school fees and being billed by leeches they date.

When my husband and I were dating, he bought me a gift every month till we got married. Now, he spontaneously buys them. And I bought him things a lot too.

Reno doesn't know what he is saying. It is convenient for him to say it right now that he is married. It's just like a married man condemning fornication because he's married, meanwhile he was a chief fornicator when he was single.

I guess we are both at an impasse then.

I don't need to LOVE you or date you to give you stuffs. That's my own point. I give because it's necessary. I have met girls whose only investment in a relationship is two words..."BUY ME". They can't think past it. To them, you must spend on them to show you love them. That's what Reno is countering, the entitlement mentality that makes a woman lazy to the bone. It's nobody duty to spend on you. It's a relationship,not a job. Whatever you want, work and treat yourself and anything your man/woman gives you will just be a bonus.
I remember a story here of a MIL telling her daughter that her fiance came to her house that day without a gift, even grumbling that she gave him soft drink sef. That dude has been coming with gifts before. So because he didn't come that day, she complained. That shouldn't be for God's sakes. It's that kind of thinking that I find issues with.

I'm glad that your own mindset on the issue worked for you. Mine has been working for me too.
One love

DBestDoc:
Well, I think you really didn’t understand her perfectly.

Better put, you can give without loving the person (even though giving is an act of love itself) but you can NEVER claim to love without GIVING. It’s a simple everyday stuff and logic.

Everyone can decide to run their relationships the way it works for them and according to their level of understanding.

Peace！

Your second paragraph shows you didn't get my point. Giving is not always about spending MONEY. That's what Reno is saying but she insists that it's not possible to love and not spend. I countered that I have spent money on strangers based on necessity,not love. I give out of necessity, not love!!! That's our bone of contention. That should be logical enough for you ba?

ImaIma1:
Sincerely ask yourself if you can date someone you love without spending one naira. I am.not talking about theory or quotes. I am talking of real life.

Even for our siblings, we spend. Reno cannot be right everytime. He is a human being and his words cannot be law.

I like your calm disposition on this matter. So lemme explain small.

I once gave a menstruating lady(whose clothes were stained), my shirt and paid her bike care home and I went home with singlet. I didn't love her. I just helped her.
I housed a guy for two weeks, feeding him everyday because he lost his job and wanted to commit suicide. I didn't love him. I just wanted to help a fellow Nigerian.

I also have several cases like that. I didn't love them, necessity made me help.

Love is not what makes me spend money, necessity is. I won't look at my gf and suddenly open my wallet and dash her money because she is fine or something. I treat her normally. What I give her is what I have given to girls and guys I am not dating, so my giving is not based on love but necessity.

I agree with Reno on this one, especially the phone, house rent, school fees part. Most girls have this entitlement mentality to your money and even slut shame you when you don't give them money. I believe in a hardworking woman,not a leech.

ImaIma1:
I never dated without spending. It's inevitable. Can you love and not give?

What is love?

Giving is not always about money

MrCuteAndLoaded:
I speak with them on Whatsapp. Since she applied for a restraining order against me, just kidnapping the kids will be dangerous. Its 6 years imprisonment. I just hav to wait till they are 18 years. Meanwhile, I don dey plan to marry another one in Naija ensuring that i no bring am come Yankee. Also I will sign a prenup this time.

In a case like this, the Yankee govt will give her child credit about 300 dollars a week plus unemployment benefit also another 300 dollars plus the 3 kids stimulus payment - now u see y she did what she did

Her village people knew but what can they do. She is their bread winner and she threaten to cut off their supplies if they talk about the issue again. Mine was the 17th case out of the 26 similar issues like these that occured last year among African couples. In fact some men have come back to kill the women as u must have read in the news but as for me, there is hope. My hope is in my God and He alone will avenge my case.....

Damn!!! But if she is a village girl, who taught her how to manipulate the system like that? She nevwr lived you sha

17th out of 26? . Chai, those women are really mean. They let the freedom enter their heads and they bit the fingers that fed them.

Yes I heard of the men killing their wives. Very sad stories. I prolly would have done the same if I were you too.

Just take heart bro and yes,please marry another girl if you want to. Also contest the restraining order in court, at least so you can freely visit your kids.

One love

unmask:
According to several studies....reason why it has been outlawed in some countries.

I guess you don't see the bigger picture.....just take time out and read on the effects of corporal punishment on kids and you would get more insight. Like I mentioned, flogging never had any impact on me never corrected anything for me. On the contrary it helped reinforce my resolve to do the things I was flogged for. Other things shaped who I am today.

Lol... I guess your body will be full of scars now, if flogging you only reinforces your resolve to do evil. Well, it did for me. My parents and teachers never beat me for fun, they always make me know what exactly I'm being punished for and why I ought to stop such bad behaviours.

The whites are not the ones to teach my kids moral values, their own kids lack it.

Have a nice day

unmask:
Speak for yourself I know how it affected me.

The point I was trying to make is why schools need to take out time to carry out research on rebellious children.

It affected you cuz you were too weak to seek revenge on your false accuser.

Secondary schools will now do research on rebellious children? ... Who funds such research and why would such be their PRIORITY, leaving their primary goal of teaching students moral values and academic excellence.

Dude, I'm done with you. Do have a nice day today.

unmask:
My analogy is not wrong..... Because the reason why you investigate is to ensure that such doesn't repeat itself by putting controls in place or tweaking a system.

My point is flogging is Meant to be correctional, but the thing is we should be focused on preventatives. And prevention is better than cure. Flogging a child only makes the child more rebellious

Your last sentence is wrong. It never made many of us rebellious. We did bad and were corrected. What breeds rebellion is to be flogged,maltreated without being guilty or any reason at all.

On your first paragraph, Surely you can ask all these questions when the thief is with police,after being SACKED?

MrCuteAndLoaded:
Thanks my fellow Nairalader. I have left all to God. infact they wanted to freeze my account for child support but thank God I cryptoed all my money so they cant have access. Thankfully it paid off as i got 5 times more after selling later when i moved to Naija

What about ya kids? You don't have access to them too? Are you not going back again?

What is your wife now doing to cater for them? What of her family back in the village? Surely, she wouldn't do such without her folks knowing/agreeing to the plan?

Cooldiipo:
Let me know if you need powerbank for laptop, over ten hours guaranteed and twenty hours possible. Increase your productivity and work when you like. Don't get mistaken for a Yahoo boy because of your generator noise

You are that sure ehn?

10 hours plus?

unmask:
That's archaic and I am sure studies will show that they are ineffective

Archaic according to who?

The school is not the only institution you know. The home is another. So if his parents beat him like that too, you will take them to court?

They were and still are damned effective. The little decorum and cultural values still retained by our generation were forged on the altars of training by our parents and the school. The moral decadence rampant these days ain't due to bad economy alone but also lack of quality moral/ cultural training. You should see how liberalism has made the youths so utterly devoid of morals. They will train their kids like that too. Soon, it would be cool for a son to slap his father,so long he is 18years old.

unmask:
Revenge ke? My anger lasts at most a day.....then becomes water under the bridge. Can't even remember the names.

That's where we are different. I don't talk, I act. I would have cornered that mudafucker and enacted my own revenge. That's the only way I can be comfortable seeing those welts on my body. Because my accuser has his own too, given by me.

unmask:
A student playing chess in class is wrong, but why was the child playing chess?

When you get to a corporate environment say a bank and one of your staff steals, would your first course of action be to fire the staff or investigate what pushed the staff to steal?

My positiin is this
- Child playing chess in class is wrong.
- Beating the child like an animal for playing chess in class is wrong.
- Right course of action is counsel the child and explain why you would need to punish him for his offence (punishment that doesn't involve flogging)
- win win for everyone.

Your analogy even made your opinion worse. A bank fires a thieving staff immediately he/she is caught. The only other thing is to recover the stolen funds. Why on earth would you start asking why the theft took place when stealing is the number one sin in a financial institution. What reason would be feasible enough to justify stealing in a BANK as a staff? Can't you see that your case study is very wrong? If it's my personal business, I could ask him but what if that staff has a history of fraud and has been forgiven many times? (just like that boy must have been misbehaving upandan with his unserious chess games).

My position is this:

I believe in 'spare the rod and spoil the child' rule. The only exception is when the child is well behaved. A teenager has almost formed his own mindset and mentality and are at their most rebellious. For him to play chess while class goes on, shows a total disrespect to authority. How do we know how he behaves at home too? The school gave him capital punishment. I believe he won't play that chess tomorrow while class is ongoing. Lesson learnt. Win win for everyone.

unmask:
That is why they are teenagers.....they are in their experimental years as a teacher, you should guide them to not make wrong decisions..... Not flog them to stupor.

I doubt if anyone who looks inward truthfully can actually say it was the flogging they received that made them better.

Your second paragraph is so ME. I'm a witness that overindulgence and pampering made children grow up as entitled, cultureless brats. I was taught from scratch to behave while in school,so I never had issues with any teacher.

First paragraph is funny. Teenagers need to be corrected,with cane, before they lose the last of their conscience. That's the teacher's experimental cure for the students negative experimentation. The positive ones get awards and scholarships.

unmask:
it's on social media to create awareness of what is still going wrong in schools.

On the contrary I am not angry. And the unfortunate thing was I did nothing wrong. I was falsely accused and without any investigation was flogged.

Your first paragraph sounds noble but people have turned it into some clout chasing BS.

Second paragraph sounds bad if true, but then, life happens. Hope you got your revenge on the false accuser sha?

unmask:
raise yours let's see if he or she becomes president. Like a typical Nigerian we don't do a root cause analysis, this is why we keep repeating the same mistakes over and over.

Playing Chess in class is a form of protest. Why the child did it we don't know. Now we won't know whether it is the system in place that needs to be tweaked to prevent a repeat or the boy that needs some counseling or both. We should learn to get to the root of things, it helps to stem a tide.

Counseling is the way to go. But in Nigeria what do you want to counsel, when your counselor is always holding a cane.

Damn! In your haste to sound modern, you resorted to abuse like most emotional Nigerians and you even exonerated the boy? So a student playing chess in class during a lecture is protesting about what? Should that be the right question to even ask?

I have seen how you keep forgetting one thing. That child wasn't beaten for nothing. It shows not only lax parental training but disrespect for constituted authority. The latter can't be confined by the school.

Damn!!! You are one emotional dude

unmask:
This is a failure of a teacher as a teacher. Not a parental problem.

The truth is a lot of our teachers have no business teaching. For one they are not mentally capable to carry the burden of influencing the lives of the kids placed under them.

How many students will call this teacher their favorite? Compare to those that take out time to encourage and actively seek to help students. Even if the student is still wayward, at a low point in their life, they would remember that they had/have someone who tried actively to help them and they can reach out to for help. That is the work of a teacher guidance not flogging.

I don't agree with you. In as much as the teachers are still humans, you as the student never obeyed the rule, that was why they beat you.

unmask:
very good comment

Lol...the dude has a point but you forget that the boy could have flouted orders many times before. The teachers are only human and being a Catholic school, they believe in using the rod to correct a child. The welts are many yes, but the point of it is never to be insanely cruel to students but to teach them core values.

I would have attacked the teacher if the student never did anything wrong. But he did, and the fact that it's on SM right now shows how weak the brother or parents are. Is SM now everything? What stopped them from going to the school and thrashing it out with the principal or the priest? We wanna stay woke and forget core values in the process.

You are angry because your welts never healed. But you never told us what rule you flouted to make you get beaten in the first place. Model students never get beaten unjustly, which makes me wonder, what kind of student/kid were you to your teachers/parents?

unmask:
welts my foot.....years later your so called welts are still visible on my back.

You don't flog a child that way and say you want to correct them. There are a million and one ways to punish them that doesn't involve drawing marks all over their body.

Your first paragraph shows you haven't healed emotionally from the beating you received. Now I get your outbursts. Most times, we were beaten to correct us. The parents may overstep with the beating but I'm sure way back, we as kids did abominable things and prolly stressed our parents,hence the beating. I'm very sure you never repeated what made your folks beat you from then on.

I know there are a million and one ways to correct a child. But I won't prolly know the ones to use now,as I'm not yet a parent. But I know one thing, the correctional beatings I received helped me to stay on the right lane while young.

unmask:
Actually, nothing the kid should do should warrant such whipping. The worst is if he killed someone he should be handed to the police.

Those marks will be on his body for life

They are welts. They will heal bro

And what do you think the police do to killers? You don't think they beat them or you think they offer them malt and milk?

You guys would make terrible parents. Social media has made y'all weak.

terabyte002:
Social Media don take over our sanity in this part of the world........I just understand why dem put "the labour of our heroes past, shall never be in vain for Nigeria item" because they knew remaining generation would not get any sense than to scam people, do ritual, fuvk olosho, flaunt 6 pack, show breast, get paid and all.

Dem even born you well to look your teacher face, and even parents back then regards school as corrective institution aside from the learn but it seems 99% of young parents this days are happy to raise Olosho, scammer, ritualist, criminals from birth.

Maasoap... This is for you

maasoap:
But in this case, someone else's child was brutalised. And those devils don't beat their own children like that at home. In fact, they don't beat them at all

How do you know they don't beat their kids bro?

Just let it slide.

UyaiIncomparabl:
That's a dude like you, baba.

You mudafucking burst his bubbles.

ImaIma1:
Is it possible to date and not spend? Reno just be talking for talking sake. He should know when to be silent.

Lmaooo..it is possible and if you like spending, open ya wallets and spend too

chinchonglee:
Then forget na

Whaaaaaat... Tell me na

chinchonglee:
I no call name oo...
Figure the answer yourself

Nawa o... When I don't now know nko?