₦airaland Forum

ajilegend:
This is what I expect from Davido and co. Not flaunting what you have got and drinking from club to club. 2baba you are too much

I think it has to do with how quickly they mature. 2Baba was very reckless back then too......but he was very humble

Mysselff2:
What do you mean by that??
So if AIT does an investigative reportage that though may be bitter to swallow (as truth is bitter anyway ) but will help farmers and Nigeria's economy overtime is lessons learnt are corrected, we should not watch it because they have not joined in feeding Nigerians the lies that the failed government of Buhari has been using some other outlets to achieve
My friend if you really are ignorant about a situation,why not just ignore
I know one of the off takers in the UK who is a proven businessman from the South West (who I gather out of patriotism) who was one of those that ordered for huge tons of the yam, he confirmed the story of the rotten yams.He feels so disappointed that we can't seem to get anything right in this country.He avers,and I agree, that the problem is not with the yams themselves,but you know the usual Nigerian way of handling,bureaucratic red tapes etc which have made us painfully experience nearly 50% post harvest losses in most agric produce by the time they hit the local market, and which also has made Nigerian importers prefer nearby ports like Cotonou in place of Tin can because they will clear their goods while the person that imported the same time with them and their goods arrived the same time will clear theirs some weeks later just because they used Tin can, this same shoddiness has come to plague our infant yam export business.
It is not too late to make corrections,but this stupid and foolish idea of trying to demonized AIT for exposing a dangerous error that could kill this venture is totally out of it.Infact AIT should be commended by the government and they sit up.
What caused the yams to rotten, I gathered from my guys in the UK that the yams they ordered which were containerized at Tin can,ready for shipment to the UK did not leave till first week of August and arrived in September,that is some good three months since they were put in the containers.
Come on,we all eat yams ( no pun intended) and we know that if you store yam in a humid or damp place overtime,it's likely to begin to rot in your store,not to talk of packing them in the container for three months.
My UK guys said they normally order 100% of the yam from Ghana (by the way Ghana accounts for over 90% of total yearly yam export from West Africa and Nigeria has more arable land and more capacity so the prospect for huge success is there,hence we must do it right).
So I dare say that rather than dissipate energy trying to malign AIT for doing a brilliant investigative journalist work, govt and her concerned agencies especially SON and CUSTOMS should sit up and ensure only quality produce is packaged for export and that they live on time and spend not more than three weeks from containerization to arriving destination port.
I so submit

Bros,

If both importers (one in UK and the other in US who is the only exporter to the states) that were interviewed by the AIT reporter accused same of unprofessional reportage, then we should be concerned


Let me lift some parts of the report the should elicit concern in a rational individual
1. They accused AIT of tampering with, falsifying and removing facts.

“I’ve watched the (TV) programme which lasted for about two hours. All the positive stuff removed We that decide to venture in this project are aware of the risks involved because, this fresh produce … we’ll expect five or 10 per cent damages. I don’t know why they said the product got rejected. I’ve sent my release note. I’ve sent video of loading. I’ve sent every documentation to say that there is no issue like that at all.”

2. They accused AIT of misrepresenting facts

On the spoilage of yam, Adedipe explained that “the failure has nothing to do with the ministry of agriculture, but the Nigerian Ports Authority. That’s where I see the failure.” He expressed disgust at the mishandling of his comments by the AIT reporter, saying: “I told him, he is aware of it. He knew about the delay, I told him about all the consignment. He knew every single thing that happened. But what he did the most is to use all the negative stuff. We talked about other things. I told him how I came into the UK to go and fix our problem. All those were removed from the report.”

3. They accuse AIT of "false-negative" i.e. using a supposed false impression of place A to depict place B they never visited. Remember that the UK exporter had debunked their UK story

Managing Director, Wan Nyikwagh Farms Nigeria Limited, Mr Yandev Amaabai, has strongly disputed the yam rejection story and said it doesn’t even tally. “The story from AIT was focused on UK. So far, I am the only person who has lifted yam to the US. Whatever we can do to clarify this issue will be good. We learn as we progress. The whole idea that government brought was to diversify the economy.”

Nobody has ever called from anywhere, even in the US, to ask me question. If a few yams got rotten, and I am not complaining, why are people crying more than the owner? I have all the papers. The Customs cleared my goods on the other side. And these things went to my warehouse from where we distributed.”

So tell me, do you still feel this is "Investigative Reportage"?

400billionman:
Yam cannot last One month on high seas.

Let them keep lieing like APC..

If sun scorches a tuber of yam just for 6 hrs, it can spoil the next 3 days. These people are learners.

So you mean when they export yams, the expose it to "scortching sun" all thru the trip? Hmm! "Internet exporters"

Desyner:
There thousands like that. 85% of osun schooled pupils aren't there again. Go to Warri, PH, Anambra and see the huge army of osun people from Ikire, to Iwo to Gbangan, to Ejigbo to Ikirun, Esa Oke back to Osogbo people, they are there in their numbers growing and building up those places. Recently Okanlawon was touring states like Edo and Delta to propagate the 'achievements' of Aregbe from radio station to radio station just cos of the volume of Osun people in those places. You must think I am one distant enthusiast that obsesses about Osun of hate or envy.
Take lautech as example, money is root cause of the challenges it faced over the last 2 years. Recurrent expenditure is balanced with projects in all sane society and system.
Now that sparkling building are being commissioned right and left, don't you think it needs to run smoothly. The teachers will very likely forcefully extort the students when under paid. Where does that leave the huge infrastructure on ground?

1. So the data to back up your statement is that I should "go to Warri, PH..... etc"? It seems at this rate, further engagement with you, I run the risk of seeing more of your emptiness. The logical thing to justify your 85% is to show a certified data that confirms it, not "go to Warri..."
2. The problem in LAUTECH has been a legacy issue. Leave that for another discussion.

Desyner:
Föøl. I told you I haven't?

You have? Did you read the part where I put the caveat "there are no guarantees"? That makes it worse because your reasoning is at O'levels

Desyner:
Only a foøl will contradict himself the way you did in this post. The bold highlights the peak of your foölishness and contradiction.
You infered that the schools will eventually grow the IGR in the future but started out by saying nobody takes loan to grow IGR. Re-read your desperate reply and see the folly in it.

So you want me to believe that this your ridiculous gaffe

He takes huge loan and grows IGR to N8.8B/annum and people like you are shouting.

means the same as my explanation? You have no honour. Stop lying bro and learn your lesson

Desyner:
Idîotic drúnkard, if the schools can run smoothly why aren't the teachers being paid alongside other civil servants ?
You are intellectually confused within yourself. You think colourful building will justify huge debt and hunger. Can the school building solve the hunger problem in the next 15 years ? The simple answer is NO. If so, why Ignore IGR that's suppose to keep the school running smooth. Are you saying there are no run down schools in Osun any longer ? Think.

1. Why aren't teachers being paid alongside other civil servants? At this point, I see that your problem is from the left.

The Chairman of the Nigeria Labour Co‎ngress, NLC, Osun State chapter, Comrade Babatunde Jacob AdekomI, Thursday, said the state government has paid the salary of all workers in the state up to June, 2017 in line with the agreement made between it and the labour union. This was even as Adekomi disclosed that the leadership of the union has reached a compromise with the state government on the disbursement of the second tranche of Paris Club Refunds to offset parts of the balance of the modulated salaries.

Read more at: https://www.vanguardngr.com/2017/07/weve-paid-salaries-june-says-osun-nlc-chairman/

2. Hunger problem in 15yrs? - I cannot help your irredeemable cause.

3.

Are you saying there are no run down schools in Osun any longer ?

. Is this not the classic reason to build these schools? Can you see that you are just asking aimless questions

Desyner:
What useless point is your mediocrity clouded brain articulating? That infrastructure with no return any time soon and no gauranty to benefit the states directly is worth borrowing heavily for. The schools can't even run cos teacher can't be paid yet and you are already articulating your stupidíty into big grammar.

When you can successfully pass WAEC & JAMB, you probably will comprehend a little better. No guarantees, tho'

Desyner:
Stop being half smart kid. If Osun ranks 15th in IGR why isn't it ranking 15th or higher in payment of salary or indebtedness ? [/]What is wrong with N8.8b IGR you bold ? I challenge you right here.[/u]

1. Why isn't Osun ranking 15th or higher in salary payment? Idio.tic question. I don't know the economic indicator your needless hypothetical stats will want to address, but common sense will tell you that Osun state has chosen to pursue an aggressive growth and are currently subjected to some of attendant the risk. Osun was very low in terms of output and sat by, contended to just consume what is "thrown" at them from FAAC. That Osun has decided to invest in the future comes with a price/risk - they will be heavily indepted, salaries may not be regular if there is instability in the national economy. But have you asked yourself, if Osun were to be a typical Bayelsa ( sitting on huge Oil reserves yet can only generate 7% of FAAC equivalent and have virtually no infrastructure to show for it) how far Osun would have gone under an Aregbesola's leadership........

2. Oh Gawd!, you mean you are yet to see the stu.pidity that backed this statement

He takes huge loan and grows IGR to N8.8B/annum and people like you are shouting.

I am simply telling you that you don't take loans to grow IGR dummy! You take known to address deficits in funding for infrastructure. When those infrastructure mature and fully pays itself, the "value-capital" grows your IGR.

Desyner:
@mapet, you say education has a mid/long term effect on growth, fine. How is the growth going to be channelled into Osun in particular ?
You are supporting a fiscal rascal who thinks oil money is his birthright and want to impress people. I pity your empty skull. In Ogun state the govt focus on scholarship and sign a binding contract that guaranty they contribute back to the state.

At this point I need to stop "spoon-feeding" you with common sense. If you cannot draw a nexus between education and growth in environment, then why are we even in discussion? every other thing in your statement lost its value when you cannot comprehend a simple precedent

Desyner:
@mapet, in that your stùpíd point 7, how will a govt that can't pay salaries sustain the spending that will stimulate the economy? Plus we already seeing the stupíd butterfly-cum-scorpion effects Aregbes policy is causing.
I can imagine your kidney inside your skull right now.

Pity you cannot comprehend simple things here. But let me help you for the sakes of those who never knew you were this empty.

1. Don't ask baseless question when you have not assessed data. Have you asked how many of the population in Osun state today are civil servants? Is the govt dedicated to serving only civil servants? what about farmers, tailors, mechanics, market men and women, SMEs? If you cannot see the need to stimulate an economy through these set of players and you feel economy is stimulated only by paying teachers salary, then I can conveniently conclude that you are above all men dumb
2. Don't bother reading about "butter-fly" effect as you are incapable of comprehending it

Desyner:
@mapet, what happens when the students Aregbe is subsidizing to high heaven go and grow Oyo or Abuja or Kano or Rivers when they are ripe for employement but there are no industries?
You must think you replying an Okada rider that reads news headline in the stands.

1. You seem to have penchant for asking questions that beggars logic. So all student in Osun will just vamoose to the scenario is that all students in Osun will leave and "grow" Oyo or Abuja or Kano or Rivers? You have not factored that out of these students there will be future and more informed industrialists, Engineers, agro-allied business men, lecturers etc who will rightly create industries along these lines in Osun?

2. If you argue that there are no industry, is that not the more classic reasons why state govts like Osun should invest rapidly in infrastructures to birth these industries? or Do industries just come out of vacuum? or lemme get into your empty head a bit, you think industries will arrive and become viable just by using your "phantom IGR" to pay teachers salaries alone?

Desyner:
@mapet, So 10% of allocation is all that Aregbe can do? What happens then if oil earning dwindles further?
He takes huge loan and grows IGR to N8.8B/annum and people like you are shouting.

1. Simple data thrown at you, you cannot even read it correctly. Osun state generates 14% equivalent of its FA. The report rightly tells you that Osun is not one of the states categorised as in "danger of not surviving" nor "poor revenue earners". Osun is in the middle bracket. It has 15 states that perform better than it, and it performs better than a whooping 20 states.

2. Your contradiction in this argument is even ridiculous. You are addressing IGR, yet you are asking what if oil earnings dwindles. A simple answer is that it is in anticipation of a future where each state should not be dependent on oil earning that they are putting up the infrastructures that will stimulate their local economy. That is why we can safely argue that among other things Aregbe is investing in human capital by building these "world-class" schools.

3. I wish you did not put up what I saw in bold. Are you in secondary school or something? Not only are you unintelligent, you are immature and cannot subject yourself to diligent study, hence you make gaffes like this. How can you use "huge loan" to grow IGR? So they use "Huge loan" to grow IGR in your village? Pls avail your self with wikipedia or google and read about IGR.....that is if you can comprehend, else concentrating on passing your o'levels.

Desyner:
I Can imagine the thickness of the palmwine you took being thicker than pap.
All what you wrote depends on the ability to meet up with recurrent expenses of running the school. Where is the IGR to do just that? Straight answers please.

1.I imagine I will still make coherent and more fact based analysis to this issue if I were intoxicated; rather the joke is on you that argue like a fool when you claim to be in your right senses. The problem with some of you is that your limited knowledge, you get arrogant with it, when found out you look all the more idi.otic.


2. Yes all what I wrote depends on the ability to meet up with recurrent expenses of running the school.....among other things. Some of these school have been built within the last 3yrs. Is there any information that you have that suggests that they do not meet the recurrent expenses of running those schools? Did you ask where is the IGR to do that? I can safely conclude that you do not even know the meaning of IGR, neither do you know how it is sourced and is operated. You are simply someone who rush to read up a concept and frivolously throw it on NL

sonnie10:
Why are you wasting your time to educate people who will never learn. As we speak, my county here in US is voting on whether to take a Bond which would enable them build more schools.
Bond as we all know is just a fancy word for borrowing. If it means borrowing to improve education, why not? The governor should be applauded, after all his colleagues in other states are borrowing to buy houses abroad .

Bros,

When I articulate my points to "empty-heads" like @Desyner, I am fully aware that he cannot comprehend. The indirect intention is also to help the awareness of the generality of the forum. We should not leave NL to be pervaded by empty-heads and spread their emptiness to people willing to learn.

Regards

nwabobo:

WisdomFlakes: :


Guy, I put it to you are nothing but a bad-belle hater. Below is a picture of a classroom in a U.S highschool (with what looks like a section of the roof might even be caving in, followed by one of the ones in Osun state. In all honesty, you want to tell me that the Osun one isn't of better quality?? You are too embittered to even give credit to a Nigerian state that is striving to up the standard in this regard, smh. There's no point going back and forth with your likes, coz you people are well-known for your twisted thinking.

What makes a school?

Why not start from there. Osun that keep rocking bottom of the class in WAEC, NECO and JAMB? If you think it's the building or classrooms that make a school then I'm sorry you still have a long way to go.

Ok slowdown with your "ogogoro-influenced" assertion. The last time I checked this is the current true position on WAEC. This report puts things into perspective

https://www.vanguardngr.com/2016/10/osun-records-113-improvement-wassce-performance/

nwabobo:

onnie10: :


Quick question. Did you ever believe that one day, you would be scouting the internet to look for schools around the world that are comparable to the ones in Osun state?

Comparable? No school in Osun is comparable to any school in the UK whereby reside.

Comparison is needless. What is the value in trying to be like UK schools when we are in different environment? The most important thing we learn to solve our problems are own way

ElRapido:

DTaj: :
Aregbesola might have made some financial miscalculations regarding state revenue (especially after FAAC allocations began to reduce significantly), but NO SANE HUMAN BEING should fault him on the quality of two things in Osun State under him: education (schools) and roads!

The almost faultless infrastructure in some of Aregbesola's primary and high/secondary schools (including the one showcased here and the ones commissioned before now and those still under construction) in Osun are FAR, FAR BETTER than what we have in some so-called State Universities in Nigeria!

Truth must be told, even if we do not agree on everything...

You just said this based on what you saw on internet?? Let we living in Osun State tell you what's going on.

Bros,

There is nothing "going on" that we "Osun citizens in diaspora" who frequently visit home don't know. It depends on the perspective we choose to look at it. I believe economically, we Osun were living on high risk, a situation where most of us are civil servants. Omisore once referred to Osun as a Civil servant's state. Which state will be a "civil servants'" and be economically viable? We have to pay a price at one point of our lives. It's a pity civil servants are going through the "suffering" at the moment.....

farihafaheemah:

possibility99: :
Mr. He already established one in osogbo behind technical sch.

another one at Ataoja high school, also at powerline area, the same at ayetoro junction, another one at isale Osun,

On my last trip to Osogbo, I saw two. The one at Power-line and the other at Alekuwodo. I told myself, pictures have not done justice to the magnificence of these schools. You need to see them live

olamurphy95:

Desyner: :
Where's the wisdom in taking a huge debt to award contracts for schools. The IGR that's going to pay salaries of teachers for next 50 years is left unattended to and some persons are here praising mediocrity.

@Desyner,

1. The person that told you "your brain is paining you" is on point. You think everything about IGR relates 100% to teachers' salary?
2. On IGR, You make such a weak, pedestrian point, you did not back such up with quantitative data.
3. Pray tell, what is the thrust of your lame IGR point? Is IGR static? Conventional wisdom should have told you that to be able to increase your performance on payments, the logical option is to grow IGR, especially when federal allocation is dwindling. I thought a quick "google search" would have put to rest the needless argument you keep making about IGR. How can anyone in his right senses rationalise investment in infrastructe, education and development as a second order priority.
4. As at 2016, Osun state was 16th on the IGR rating. https://www.vanguardngr.com/2017/05/state-viability-index-lagos-generates-igr-31-states-combined/. Osun is not among the 14 states that cannot generate up to 10% of their FAAC equivalent (a benchmark that depicted sustainability)
5. While it has been proven both in research and practice that investment in education has a mid-longterm impact on economic advancement, poverty reduction, sustainable growth etc. Your argument of teacher salary as a condition precedent is ill-concieved and not intelligent.
6. So let us talk about teachers salary issue in Osun state. So the picture is Aregbesola took a "gamble" in taking huge debt on infrastructure development.......economy went south........salaries were affected. How is this different from virtually all the state governors except Lagos and Ogun, who could not pay their civil servants and had to rely on bail out from FG? The big question is how have they been able to navigate the trouble waters? I am sure you are aware that Aregbe is about the most transparent with the Paris Club funds. He was about the only governor that published how it was utilised without being prompted to do so. He is one of the few governors that ICPC gave a clean bill of health on the use of the Paris Club funds. He has deployed the Paris Club funds solely to clear the back log in a creative way. He formed a joint committee of Labour Union/Civil Servants/Govt who oversaw how the funds was disbursed.
7. What is in it for Osun with these schools? few of the upsides;
a. First of is that students will have access to decent learning environments like their global counterparts. I am sure you cannot quantify the benefit of qualitative education of a citizen and how it solves his future problems in a long way
b. Secondly enrollment rate will not only increase, but these schools will adequately accommodate them. Each of the model schools can take up to 3000 students
c. With high enrollment, also comes an increase in government spending which will stimulate the economy. The school feeding program is connected to agri-business, the uniform is connected to textile industry, infrastructure to these school is also an empowerment medium
d. Have you imagined the "butterfly effect" of some of these projects? How it opens up new areas for value not only directly to the people impacted, but consequence impact on secondary and tertiary beneficiaries - Middle players in transport, logistics, waste collectors, software developers, skill acquisition outfits, farms and support services etc?


Finally, when you make assertions, pls back it up with facts. The Osun Sukuk bond will be paid in full by 2020, at which point all sets are fully owned by Osun. I wonder where you got your phantom 50years scaremongering nonsense from. Yes it is a difficult period, but Osun has prospect for prosperity as they have laid the foundation for it.

selflessmaya:
when ppl say never hit your wife, they mean never become the aggressor. what is happening to to you is domestic violence and your wife is abusing you emotionally and physically. you need to leave that woman fast. she's poison! don't try to change her, don't blame yourself for anything, just, cut her loose!

EDIT: so I just read the old article you included in the link, i change my mind. with more insight to this:
OP, I dont mean this in an insensitive way, your wife has some deep issues and must have suffered some intense psychological trauma to cause her to feel a lot of bitterness and act out in sadism when angry, the knife, the fork, hitting you with a shoe on your head and not stopping when you didnt even react!! this last one is a huge red light, something is really wrong with your wife, she loves to inflict pain and if her personality is as contrast as u say, that everyone thinks she's this sweet girl, then whatever is wrong with her runs really deep, it's not normal at all to keep hitting a person with a shoe on the head when they're not fighting back, she wants to hurt you, she wants u to feel pain.

I'm honestly convinced your wife has suffered sexual assault at an early age that led to a break in psyche, she's mastered suppressing her feelings, her nice girl act is not an 'act', she's actually that nice. but when she's angry, all the bitterness buried beneath the surface emerges and she finally deals with all the buried emotion in its magnitude, it overwhelms her and she wants to act out to hit something or punch a wall etc. when she's alone and unhappy, even when she lived with her parents, u really dont want to see/imagine what your wife does to and says to herself, this anger she shows you, she's lived with it for a long time, she's been her own victim till now when she made u her victim. there is nothing she has done to you that she hasn't done to herself times hundred.

if you choose to for better for worse it, find a psychiatrist or psychologist and go with your wife for counselling, your wife, with or without you will never change till she finally begins to work on whatever buried bitterness she's had to live with for years. try to get help together as a family or get a divorce if u would rather not go through it. it's really that simple, your wife will live with whatever has happened for the rest of her life but how she manages the accompanying emotions, her anger and abandonment issues can all be taken care of with a good psychologist and emotional support on your part. educate yourself on the topic of sexual assault and learn the necessary sensitivity training and triggers. counselling will teach you all this.

no, i'm not thinking too far, your wife ticks a lot of boxes:
-extra charming cos of distorted/low self image and need to be accepted
-her over-religiousness is for closure that she needs and like u said her prayers are always for her god to attack ppl for her. even her relationship with god isnt healthy, it's a coping mechanism. the idea of a protector that will attack on her behalf.
-she talks from 12am to 4am alone when you're asleep, OP, your wife is full of a lot of buried emotion, she really wants to talk to someone about something.
-despite being a nice girl, before you married her, she had no friends
-she's very quiet, hardly finishes her words (withdrawn personality, mastered suppresion)

you should never have raised your hands to hit this woman, when she froze for 5 minutes, it's not that she was thinking she overstepped her boundaries, she was actually coming back to her senses, when your wife gets angry, she loses her mind and forgets who she's dealing with. even worse when the person who angered her is male, she reacts with more venom cos subconsciously he represents her aggressor and she wants to hurt him to make him feel pain. she probably has conversations with herself and imagines herself confronting her abuser and being able to hurt him back and make him regret his actions and cries alone cos it's only in her imagination that she can deal with him. when a man makes her defensive in her personal space, she attacks. till u actually hit her, u just represented something that she has bad blood with and now you've added yourself to the list of men that have ruined her.
she has stopped hitting u cos she has buried the incident of the slaps too but OP, the same place it's buried is the same place her demons she's battling are buried, she wont touch you but when her bitterness surfaces when she's alone, this time you're one of her enemies. the resentment is growing and when she sees u, she's filled with such bitterness she shoves u. if u do not intend to fix this marriage OP, walk away NOW. a lot of bitterness is brewing in this woman and if you add yourself to the list, we will read about u in the news the day this woman snaps. the same way u never saw her eyes so red the day she yelled, u will never believe she has it in her to go the extent she'll go, your wife will surprise you.

nigeria does not have a good support system for ppl who have had to deal with the trauma of sexual assault, society takes it lightly too but this is 2017, ppl should educate themselves on this, when we read here everyday '6 yr old girl raped in lagos by 43 yr old man', that girl is someone's future wife and she will NOT just be like everybody else, the scars of her trauma will show one way or another and she'll need extra sensitivity cos she's a "special" case. your wife is not a naturally aggressive person, that i can tell u and it's sad that another human being created this monster in her. OP, this is really not your battle, it's not you she wants to fight, you did not give her all the bitterness she's carrying, so let the slaps u gave her be the last, you wife is a very very bitter scorned woman whose hurt has taken years and years to germinate, the person who hurt her isnt dealing with it, u are. if u add to her bitterness and it gets too much, the person who created 99% of this mess will not be the scapegoat, again it will be u. i haven't dealt with sexual assault personally or with a family member but i have met closely with some of the victims and the effects of sexual assault are too underestimated. ppl should be killed for damaging another human like that.

if u do choose to save your marriage:
apologize profusely for hitting her and become super sweet, if u choose to undo this mess, u have to be ready, sensitive, patient, very educated about this issue and strong for the both of u. if u choose to walk this path, u will watch her fall apart and u have to be ready to help her reassemble.
don't let her hit you, hold her hands and keep holding it and talking to her till she calms down. your wife is actually a very sweet person, the person you knew her to be when u married her exists, just buried under layers of bitterness. i dont blame u at all for hitting her, there's nothing illogical in hitting someone who came at u with a knife, i can understand why u snapped but let it be the last time. your wife wants to talk to you, listen to her, she talks when you sleep, when you leave she follows you, it's annoying but it's her subconscious, she really wants to reach out. listen to your wife! make out time and let her rant, she will talk about so many things, no matter how messed up it sounds, keep listening. then talk back about whatever and if she interrupts and tries to talk, let her talk, just listen. u can stop the midnight talks by changing it to day time. stop sleeping in your sitting room, move back to your bed.

when you're ready to make the move, try pulling it out of her, on top of your new sweetness, be extra extra sweet to her for the whole week like her sh!t dont stink, on a friday(so if she spills, you'll both have the weekend to grieve), make sure she's in a nice awww darling mood and when you're holding her, just brush by a conversation u heard at the office that made u really sick "about a dude that assaulted some teenage girl and how mad it makes you that men like that are still walking around breathing and if they ever dared it with someone u care about, u'll deal with them and how no matter what she was wearing or where she was, no one has the right on another person's body without consent and the worst part is there are girls out there who have experienced this and told no one and the animal didnt get caught"
stay on the topic of sexual assault and follow body language, dont change the topic, be gentle, when she cracks, try to get her to talk, say what u have to "she can tell u anything, u wont judge, u love her from here to japan, if it affects her it affects you, u are both one and she can confide in u etc" when she talks, encourage her to keep talking, show that you're listening, console her all you can, cry with her even if u have to force the tears though i doubt you'll have to force them, make her see that whatever sunken place she's in, you've somehow gotten there too but dont cry more than her haba. tell her that both of u will go for counselling together, find a good therapist and go with her till she makes progress to go alone. make sure u find a therapist before u try to get her to talk about this and once she talks, the upcoming monday, begin therapy. and dont expect to work this out in 2 days, give yourself time like 4-6wks to build the emotional environment of trust and zero judgement to be able to access her when the time comes. note: she has to open up to you before you can go for therapy.

-u can expect her to go into depression for a while, she might need anti-depressants, sleeping pills too, she will be dealing with a lot of emotion once she finally lets someone in.
-NEVER EVER make a joke about her incident or say something mean to her about it... NEVER EVER!!! NEVER EVER!!! I MEAN IT OP.
-if u want to divorce her and not work through this, which is honestly the easy way out for you, then pls dont bring up anything i just told u here, dont taunt her over this, dont ask her about abuse or anything, just let the marriage end and pretend u didnt even read this. she will still live with herself so she has it heavy already.

i really do sympathize with you, u have found yourself in a very unfortunate position and no decision u make will be easy. sadly enough, i feel sorry for your wife too, she's really lived her hell and she's putting you through it. both of u dont deserve this. i also applaud you for all the grace you've shown, it's very hard to break the cycle of abuse, abused ppl mostly pass it on to others, maybe not in the form they received it but they leave their mark, so i can imagine how strong a person u were to endure all the emotional & physical abuse. and no, slapping her back was not abuse, u defended yourself full stop! dont feel sorry for yourself, just do what u have to do: stay & do the work to mend this if u can or leave if u cant.
u have to accept that your wife has issues that cause aggression when it flares. in time, u will also notice she's protective of children or animals or things she pictures as defenseless, it'll show in her mothering, not wanting your kid to go out, being too clingy to the child, convinced the big bad world is out to get her child, all that u will both work through in due time. once you can get your wife to show you the dark place she's in, it'll not be her safe place anymore, she can't hide there anymore, whatever comes to surface will be dealt with by both of you and u will finally live with the smiling smiling girl u married. good luck OP

Not only am I putting a like here, this is "humbling", deep and spiritual

wordcat:
You seriously have comprehension problems, out off my mentions let me discus with serious minded people

even this one, I am not "understanding"

HungerBAD:
Wrong.

95% of Prostitutes in Italy are Nigerians,and the 5% of others is shared between the Ghanaians,Rwandans and the rest.

Inside the 95% that are Nigerians, 95% of them are either from Edo State or grew up in Edo State simple.

Anytime prostitution and Edo State is mentioned,I am always puzzled on why they(Edo people online)Get angry about it, when you guys know it is the truth.

Nobody is insulting you guys, but this article, like me too, is only stating an obvious Statement of fact.

The solution?girls in Edo State should be discouraged from exporting SEX overseas.

wordcat:
The adage is for you not for the judge

So there lies the clarification that "Abariabe don enter am"

wordcat:
Still wondering why Abaribe is waving hands and yarning instead of getting himself a sound and radical Senior Advocate?

Those bail conditions were given to Kanu by the court and only the court can decide whether the conditions were bleached or not.

Who sent those that invaded Kanu's house and what were their motives?

Let me assure you that those conditions were handed to Kanu untainted and they remain so

wordcat:
Even when he has evidence that Kanu's house was invaded by some uniform men with guns, and ever since then, no one has seen or heard from KANU?

An Igbo adage has it; that when you join to crown EVIL as king, remember that you will also be among EVIL'S subjects as long as EVIL reigns.

Don't hind the truth because of hatred rather say the truth and continue with you hatred because of tomorrow.

oh! really? you mean judges now make decision based on "Igbo adages"

theophorus:
Abaribe never know wetin Him enter... When they Finish with him, he would learn never to stand surety for an unstable person or Withdraw His surety once the person is misbehaving...


Welcome to the Real World.

Very soon you guys will learn not to deceive yourself again.

This reminds me of how we got punished when we were young never to "put mouth" to what is not our "consign". I want to even ask, if not for this event that Abariabe wanted to use to score cheap political points, was he ever friends with Kanu?

Super1759:
Some of you are just ranting nonsense. Fed govt needs to be careful in handling this case.
There is no law biding that the surety will sleep and dine with him. There is no law biding him to be uncharge if anything happens. Go and check your constitutions..
Abaribe even should open a case against army for invading his house. Apc no get sense at all

When a half-educated man wants to teach us about "constitutions".....

EternalTruths:
Did the Senate ask her why she took that decision to know if it was actually good for the economy.?

Was it good for the economy?

ehissi:
This is why it is wrong. Metuh wants him to come and confirm in court that he ordered ONSA to give him #400million. Wisdom demands that you seek the consent of someone to testify on your behalf before even listing him/her as a witness.

To subpoena him, is to force him to testify against his own will or permission which will work badly for you. You are asking him to come and testify with the hope that he will corroborate your story and in the process exonerate you, to force such a person to do so, may back fire.

It is even much worse to do so, because you are asking him to testify about activities he undertook as president of the country and not in his private capacity.

As a former President and a staff of Presidency - note President Jonathan remains a staff of the Presidency as an ex-president - he needs to take leave/permission from the Presidency before he can go to court to testify especially if he has to present documents he signed as president.

Failure to do so, is to risk a 20yr jail sentence. He is no longer President and whatever documents he needs to butress a point in court rest in the Office of the Presidency.

Highest he will go to court and say he doesnt recall. Very convenient, especially if he gave the order without a supporting document.......

I like your analysis. Is Metuh trying to put GEJ on the spot? Is he trying to easily do what a PMB govt would have had the headache on how to go about it?

If Jonathan says no he didn't, then Metuh is finally toast

If Jonathan says yes he did, then GEJ wilfully opened himself to a long road of investigations and litigations

YomzzyDBlogger:
Two "Skillful" World Best!!

More >> http://www.yomzzyblog.com/2017/10/two-world-best-super-eagles-legend-jay.html

With due respect, JJ was never world best under any category or circumstances

Exponental:
I am an Anglican! I don't discriminate. I have attended many other churches but always feel that is where I belong. If... If she and her family renounce Anglican, she's not meant to be your wife. All churches have their flaws. If God could accommodate flaws in silence, who are they to condemn a church. I expected a good parent to encourage their children to correct identified flaws while they pray for them.

My Bro,

First rule of thumb, don't change church just to please a woman or condition precedent to marriage. It will not last. Don't even let anyone take the God-given role of man in the home away from you. You are the head of your family and accountable to God. If she's not ready to support you and decisions you make, if she comes with conditions like this, then you need to reassess.

I am an Anglican. I have siblings who are married to non-Anglicans and worship in the husband's church. I also have relatives who married from "pentecostals" and those wives are now Anglican.