₦airaland Forum

JustMe407:
Dear nairalanders, I need you honest advice on what to do. I am still a young man and any mistake now will have a grave effect on my future. So please, help a brother.

Be objective and consise please. It is a long narrative.

I have a girlfriend whom I have been dating for up to 10 months now. She has all the qualities of wife, friend and a partner. I mean, she prays for me, supports me and do many things that places her above average.

I've two issues that are bugging me;

First is, I just graduated from the University and started to follow the road map I designed for my life. I am hardworking, so I started doing business immediately after my defense. Interstate exports of perishables. While I was in school, I made a lot of money doing designs for students; I am a UI/UX designer. The problem here is that I can't account for all those monies I made. A lot of expenses especially for my girlfriend. Even till now, I am supposed to send her some money but will I continue like this? I need stability in my business and need to save more and need capital for the last mile logistics company I want to set up next year.

Second issue is; I recently returned from an event I attended in Lagos some days ago, I came back very late and was grossly tired. While we were chatting, she asked me some questions which I told her I was very tired and eventually, I slept off. My phone beside me till the next morning. Fast forward to yesterday, I told her of my intentions to concentrate more in building for the future - it doesn't mean our relationship would be off. She started asking questions like "do you need some space?" "Am I bugging you?" She also said I don't "speak her language enough" language here is bonding, intimacy and closure. I was surprised at her response.

I noticed she'd be online for a long time and won't reply me on time, so I asked her who she was chatting with and she replied someone. I ignored her. This morning she called, while we got talking I asked her about the person she was chatting with. She told me the guys name. And asked if I will forgive her of anything, I said yes. She now said, she was introduced to the guy and they got flirting from the day I came back from my journey and told her I was tired and needed to rest. Her excuse was that, I pushed her to and she just wanted someone to speak/talk to.

Now, my question is, Should I move on with my business and focus, or, should I continue with the relationship? I don't want to be with someone that gives up on me easily.

P.S I love her so much. And she does too. We've through a lot together.

Please moderators, help move this to front page for more contributions.

Bro take this from me, u can't do enough to please a woman, this relationship is already draining u and killing ur future, she is already a liability to u.

U are still young, let her go, it will be painfull, it will hurt u. But in few months from now, u will look back and be happy with this decision.

Let her continue flexing with the guy online, focus on ur self and goal. And when u are ready a more deserving woman will come. The worth of a man is in his bank account, don't forget that

Why is everyone behaving like this is the first refinery in the nation. If not for stupidity, why will a nation with over 2 refinery jumping over a private business

Marriage just start u don dey complain, 21yrs u run enter marriage, na lottery?

If u were working b4 he married u, he can't ask u to stop because u married him. I beg u guys should settle it, na family matter

kolaaderin:
Idiot, read what the news is all about. Do we need to spoon feed this wailers again. OK let me summarise for you.

The money was missing in 2013 under your Fisherman. And this present controller general want his sector to be audited for further transparency.

Is that simple enough. Doughnut heads everywhere.

Have I offended u in any way? Did I quote and support corruption in any way... Why all the doughnut head stuff

destinie2019:
Oga, una no be God. Take note of today.

Na girl she be o, stop calling her oga..... Her bf is giving her up keep. So she no know watin men dey go through

[quote author= post=84977524]This is the change we voted for.

Probe them and send them to jail ASAP.

Corruptions is now stealing in our nation.[/quote]When men are discussing serious issues, don't get involve, go to movie, makeup session and discuss with ur fellow women.... This is men talk pls

dannyla:
The funny thing is there are women lining up to date him o. So he feels he's doing me a favour / I'm the lucky one

Every man who is doing well to some level, have a lot of women lining up, come on girl, don't u have a standard? If u don't create a standard for ur self and if u feel he is all u need, u can go ahead to marry him

dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos

With all this things u narrated, u still claim he loves u, are u serious ? Is this what love means to u.... Aunty u need to be checked , if this means love.... U are seeing fire and planning to jump in, tomorrow u will still open new thread and tell us how over rated marriage is, but u are seeing it now o, the red flags are obvious o...... But no.... Tomorrow u go ask us if u should divorce nhimor not

Aufbauh:
Unfortunately I'm not an internet troll.
Believe what you want to believe and console yourself with any facts and figures.
I'm not interested or owe you rebuttal as I've already know the background you're coming from.

Live happily and be happy with yourself for 2023 is close.

Typical response from a zombie....

maryjames9:
You started very well but you ended very badly. She is off market bla bla, don't go beg her bla bla. You folks attach too much importance to marriage that you often think all women must be in a marriage. Look up, those excuse are already getting old.

It is obvious that the animal of a OP merely told his side of the story not the entire picture. The OP cannot in all honesty say that that is the first time of hitting his wife. He also cannot say that that is the first time he is coming home late at night drunk to a stupor. But because of ya'll male-supremacist and female-subjugation tendencies, you are quick to come to the defence of your fellow woman-beating animalistic he-goat, you let reasoning be cloud your sense of judgement and start making the same old men-better-than-women rhetorics. Disgusting.

The guy u quoted used "if" is a conditional statement

Bigii:
Post from Dec, 2015 made front page today being Dec, 2019. 4years later.




O'Lord, please remember my case this year. No matter how long I have waited, I still believe you can do it.

Nigeria youth, it's December 15th, not December 2015.....

LilMissFavvy:
How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

And u think her brother slapping him will solve the issue. This is the exact reason I always advice friend, once u marry and ur wife family live in same state with u, look for transfer and move to a new state.... Girls of this generation can't solve their problem without involving their family.

Now that she has moved back to her parents, what's next, if the guy refuse to beg and ignore them, what will they do?

Two wrongs can't make a right, what has happened has happened, we can't undo it, I expect the mother in law to do better than taking her daughter away.... U can sit the young man down and talk serious sense into his head that packing ur daughter away like that will solve the issue

Bazamfare:
Lol. Nyamuri flat.head!! Im a northerner, ur in no position to dictate on who and how a northerner votes in 2023, we will vote for APC and whoever Buhari dictates us too, which is likely a SW candidate, irrespective of PDP candidate

It's obvious the SS are more politically savvy and sophisticated than the SE, that's why APC were able to win Bayelsa State, coupled with heavyweights that are from the region.. ur less important and insignificant in the scheme of things, that why u are attaching urself by force with the SS to find solace and comfort

Lol. Who are the minority!?!?! You guys are so delusional, moronic and foolish to think that the MB starts and ends with platue and benue state, don't forget that kwarra, kogi, Niger normally align with the voting pattern of core north and I don't see that changing

All this things u wrote, am very sure u are between 20-35. How has this improve ur standard of living, am beginning to feel this old men are wiser than we the youth. They keep dividing us, using party line, tribal line in order for them to continue their rubbish.

Look at the north u are from, despite majority of Nigeria leaders are from there, it didn't stop all the mess up over there

When will Nigeria youth stand up and stop playing into the hands of this wicked leaders

vic17:
noted man but I might get another girl now but what are possibilities that will guarantee that she won't still put me in the dark the way this one is doing to her guy when distance show up btw she and I. Men everything is complicated I'm beginning to despise nigerian girls oh...any way na our fault we weh be guys.

A babe told u she have someone and u force ur self in, I think u are really the problem.... Not Nigeria girls... Infact una two fit. A guy that can date a girl with bf and a girl that can double date

The only time we hear anything from general is when he is on a tour

ORIENTATION101:
Obaseki will be shitting in hispants now
Remove oshomole led federal govt machinery

obaseki cant beat ize iyamu if election is conducted 100 times

Ize iyamu is a grassroot politician with huge followership, his detection to Apc has rendered pdp impotent in Edo cos alot of pdp Chieftains defected with him.

Obaseki should move to pdp and test his popularity cos he is not getting Apc ticket next year

U keep shouting PDP and APC, see how this old men are just playing u guys.

Sirjamo:
Sowore did not call for a peaceful protest, he called for a revolution and even threatened that the DSS would be no more by the time he's through with his so called revolution, the video is still on YouTube, he originally posted it on his Twitter handle.

He said but hasn't make a move to do it. where is the action....

I will kill buhari, doesn't mean i have killed buhari.

Do u remember what buhari said when he lost election to GEJ, was he arrested for it.?

The more unpeople keep defending this barbaric act, the more major gen. Buhari keep looking stupid.

We will see at the pool 2023...

OoniOfIfe:
Truth be told her daughters ar ugly. Hbd 2 her thou

Stop hating with cheap data... because she no bleach like u no mean say she ugly

Beosten:
My own understanding of 'freeze' is to keep someone's money in a cooler until when you're through with watery beans meals in a correctional facility. So, we gat no problem here.

They keep shouting that the government is bad, but I made it in 2016 after graduating from the uni in 2011.

To even think u are a graduate baffles me....

Let me tell u, a yahoo boy with primary school living certificate made it.

Sense is really far from u,

babamadiba:
He finally use this rape case blow! Nice one man.

Indomie generation

Coldie:
This guy disowned Nigeria in his last fight.

When Andy Ruiz wgo is Mexican American entered d ring he played the anthems of his 2countries.

But this guy British Nigerian only played the anthem of Britain. Me as a Nigerian to me that as an insult to our country

What does that tell u, he has no loyalty or allegiance he is just after the money, anywhere that favours him he faces there

U just wrote like a baby

BlackfireX:
Ugly and dirty thing

Stop hating with cheap data

salford1:
So Muhammed Ali is weak. If you want knock out all the time, watch WWE or UFC not boxing.

U are wasting ur time answering people who,s first boxing match to watch is Ruiz and AJ

chloedogie:
See one of the reasons why these set of old politicians will never hand over power to the youths. ''One on one''. How many people were in the ring? Some of you just feel like saying anything since data as as cheap as free now. When Buhari reads comments like this, it gives him higher morale to sign the social media bill thing. One on one kor, ten by ten nii.

My brother just read and pass, most of this people on social media are sitting on their brain

silentEXPLOSION:
IMO
He wasn't beaten.
One on one, AJ cannot withstand this guy.

Andy has quick fists but slow body movement, lethal jabs that could have knocked AJ out.

Anyways, no excuses. AJ won with sense.

#float like a butterfly and sting like a bee

Good u were able to show u have brain in ur skull from ur last two lines. I like that. More sense to u

That BBQ girl will come here and lick buhari balls

Respect55:
An individual is not a country. If I'm been motivated by Sean Paul's song doesn't in any way mean that I like Jamaica. He never mentioned Nigeria in the post match remark

Focus in ur buhari and APC leave the young alone.... He can choose what to mention or what not to mention.

U self do something and mention Nigeria, are u not a man?

callmeVIBRANT:
Anthony Joshua is a British professional boxer.. meanwhile Nigerians carry the matter for their head.. smh

This same separation attitude is the reason u guys are so backward.

Be happy for the young man and move on, stop acting so unfortunate

Jakama90:
Joshua is overrated. If it happens to be during the era of Mike Tyson abd Evander Holiday field: the guy, Joshua go dey chop beating wey go mek am run from the ring.

Take a deep breath with a chilled bottle of water.

Am very sure u didn't watch the match.

Joshua is an intelligent fighter. For just some one with 12yrs experience in boxing, he absolutely wonderful, he fought like a 40yrs veteran, if he continues like this he will be in this game for long.

Ruiz was looking for knock out, AJ was taking every round as they come, with focus, calculative and master class delivery.

Giving us some Mohammed Ali vibes. AJ is good.

Learn to celebrate people and stop acting unfortunate

damble:
SIR, IT WILL INTEREST U TO KNOW THAT THE GOD SERVANT OUT OF HOLY ANGER PLACED CURSE ON ALL THE ENEMIES OF THE CHURCH AND NIGERIA THIS MORNING... I SEE IT COMING TO PASS... I HOPE U ARE NOT ONE OF THEM? I FEAR THIS GOD OF ADEBOYE, OYEDEPO, OLUKOYA, ABINA AND KUMUYI OFCORSE WHICH IS MY GOD

U see this mentality, is the reason this nation is backward.

Yet u guys are borrowing to survive from a nation like China who majority are not Christians.

U guys really need to wakeup from their religious slumber

[quote author= post=84677045]Where exactly is Yele at the moment?!

We need to know please.

We keep reading different stories and seeing different pictures at different locations all day.

All we want is to see him before Mama Yele by Xmas.....that is if he is not calling for war and revolution anymore after the Ministers were named and his name was missing, the same person that was among the first set of people that congratulated 'Bubu' after the election.


Hmmmmm, this is deep!

Perhaps...........[/quote]Enjoy the administration of ur darling president.

He is doing the right thing, this is the change we need in Nigeria.

U should be happy now, aren't u?