₦airaland Forum

hilarious,

Black eye
I need a sunshade
hiding behind it
and the rays the sun bring
in wonder they stare
musing
thinking it's a new kind of gait
but behind the dark veil
my ramshackled eye stared on.

ademega: *VOMITING MOOD*

Haba!
I had to abort d trip mid way...
come hear oddor emanatin frm ds okada man
am prety sure he has nt taken a bath in d last 30 days
besides ,i dont tink he takes anytin in than ogogoro/sepe/paraga...
holy jesus!
Come see oddor combination....
He don nearly spoil d day self *vomiting mood*
MEGAFONE

you murdered the lingua franca in cold stench

I laid on my bed with the thoughts of my discussion with my Dad,
re-echoing on my head was his words, ''your uncle would want you to help him out with his business, as a business student he has faith in you'', It's not bad, I thought, I could make alot of money, and swag around school, and maybe buy a new BB, etc, I rolled on my bed, while dialling my uncle's number, I spoke few words in my phone and after the call ended I knew it would be a long journey to Enugu tommorrow, my mind was still wandering, dancing alingo to the repose of thoughts in my mind, awakening Oluchi's thoughts from the recesses of my mind, it was almost 2pm, I'm yet to call her for our date, my sister seemed to be in love with our house today, chai, she wan spoil my plan ni?, Chioma! Chioma!, I shouted, she surfaced, wearing clothes, obviously she is going out,
are you going to be out for long?
It depends, was all she said,
depends on what? I asked, hiding my fear,
Oluchi and I will be going to plait our hair today, and it seems she is not around so I'm......voices, voices, no words, dis gurl wan spoil my plans oo.
A phone started ringing, Chioma's phone, she picked the call after few minutes, the call ended.
Oluchi is not coming, so I'm going alone, you want me to buy anything for you?
Yes, I said showing my teeth in a wry smile,
buy garri for me, white garri oh, I really missed my garri, since I came home, I have not indulged in any garri exercise.
My sis. Smiled knowingly, groundnut or kwili kwili?, lol,
both, I said, remember na white garri oh, I said while handing her a crumpled naira notes. Then she is gone...

[quote author=Larry-Sun]Nice...really nice. But you need to quote your dialogues, like:
"How is the movie?" I asked, "Hope it's interesting." This would make a more interesting read.
Bless you.[/quote]yea, thanks, nice to have you here.

she was still chuckling sheepishly. Oluchi is one gurl I have a flare for, she is very beautiful that I always look forward to seeing her any weekend I come home from school. She is a bit tall, fair complexioned, her assets were well positioned to attract enthusiastic investors like myself, and then again, she's a part of my holiday preparations.
Please, Emeka I came to ask you something, her voice was undoubtedly sonorous and well pitched.
go on baby, was all my obscene thoughts could utter.
I'm looking for Chioma. Blackout,
More blackouts, so this gurl halted my dance just to ask a stupid question, she should have called Chioma on her phone for all I care, so my big boy no reach her side?, these and more questions prompted my mind on and anger started bearing children in my stomach, who is Chioma?, and why should I know where the hell she is?,
Oluchi was aghast with shock and bewilderment, damn, she looked more pretty,
but she is your sister, I just want to give her a movie she had asked me to lend her,
which movie is that?, I asked, movies is my second love since music.
SPARTACUS,season 1 and 2, my eyes popped out, Oluchi is only 18 or so. So what is she doing with a soft porn like movie as Spartacus? And she coming from a religious home made it more hard to figure out.
How is the movie?, I asked, hope it's interesting?,
Yes, she said while blushing,
ok, I said, while collecting the movie from her.
Maybe, we could watch it again together, I found myself saying before I could stop myself,
she stared down while smiling and nodding her head vigorously to my request,..There is no going back, I thought while grinning at her,

I saw terror in his eyes, glowing red, ready to rekindle at any lurking provocation.
His face reminding me of my counteanance,
I look clownishly funny whenever I'm angry, even a kid won't flinch in fear of my anger, I guess na wetin baby faced facials dey cause.
'But Dad I have made preparations for my holidays, I blurted out, not sure of what I heard myself saying,
what preparations?, he said it while spitting almost 80percent of his saliva on my face.
Chai, he seemed not to notice, but Dad!....I trailed off. Erm....,,
Emeka, listen to me, just think about it, his voice was somehow soothing at that moment. He stood up and went out, probably to observe his evening prayer.
Something seemed right at that moment, the remote, I went for it, within seconds I was tuning to Tracetv, my fav. station. ''bandz gone make her dance, all these bitches poppin puss y, am just poppin bandz''. A song by juicy j, 2 chainz and lilwayne, before seconds I was shuffling with different dance steps, gangnam style came to mind, and I was dancing it mixed with alanta and etighi,,
amidst the commotion I was causing to my environment I heard a loud laughter, taken aback, I look around the big room, resting my eyes on two pure water sized boobs, they were well padded and enclose with a flimsy white top., if I'm not good at anything I'm definitely good at knowing gurls in our compound just with the sight of their boobs, Oluchi!, I exclaimed out of breathe,

I'm an undergraduate of business adminstration,, having no real experiential experience of what business is all about but I nurse the thought of acquiring the knowledge before leaving the University for I have seen on many occasions where the requirements of applying for Job is limited not only on your university degree but also on how versatile you are in your discpline and can be able to catch every breakable eggs thrown at you, such were my thoughts though a recessive thought but still yet it kept on taking a toil on me whenever I see myself deeply in thought thinking about, ''What might have been'' about my entire not so worthless life,,
One evening, while nodding my head vigorously to the songs blaring through my headphone, while lying lazily on my bed enjoying my yuletide holidays away from my stressful school,, Emeka!! Emeka!!, I heard my mum yelling at the top of her voice,, I quickly put away my headphone hiding it under my pillow in anticipation of my mum's fury,, she stormed inside my room, a pestle on her right hand, holding it loosely, for a second I thought she was going to fling it at me, my instinct took the better part of me, I dived out of the supposedly danger zone, which left my mum laughing wryly at me while maintaining her combat stance, 'I know it wasn't over', so my counteanance kinda changed fearing the worst,, 'your Dad is asking after you was all she said, while going out of my room, jeering my defensive actions with a mocking laughter.. Ha!, my mum oh!, she can be funny when she wants to be,, As a good thinker I deciphered from her actions that the bone of contention was not really a strong bone but biscuit bone,, if not my Dad would have stormed the room himself but this time any potential attack would have the possibility of meting out the danger it was meant for..
I went to meet my Dad, he was sitting leisurely on his seat,, His seat!, ha!, my dad and his seat, here are the features of the couch, it is positioned directly in front of the big television set, a small side stool by the left where all the remote to the eletronics gadgets are kept at his reach, I repeat, at his reach and his reach only,,
My father, looked at me while straining his neck, did I say look,, he was kind of staring and whenever he acts like that he wants to go sarcastic on me, I waited for his usual punchlines and gladly it came pouring out of his mouth drenching my already firewalled emotions against criticism, I looked on unexpressionless whilst his words danced around my ears,, erhh?, I exclaimed, Uncle who, I asked with a slight anger in my tone,

lol,@cloths started flying, una dey do magic ni?

lil jboy: i'll see what i can do for u bro

thanks bro.

in this business everybody is smart, so don't be smart just break bones...DEAD CITY,by Shane Stevens

lil jboy: my list of chase novels i'v read

my laugh comes last
mission to venice
make the corpse walk
one bright summer morning
safer dead
the soft center
come easy go easy
a lotus for miss quon
cade
lay her among the lillies
mission to siena
the world in my pocket
believe this you'll believe anything
goldfish have no hiding place
tiger by the tail
trusted like the fox
do me a favor drop dead
we'll share a double funeral
miss shumway waves a wand
a coffin from hong kong
i'll bury my dead

the things men do

jboy. you for inform us say your papa na JHC, abeg I need, any ebook you have on those aforementioned novels and any other books you can recommend, my email, Alexmek92@yahoo.com

Emmandus, I would love the book by Napoleon, and any other books you think would be interesting for a voracious reader like myself. my Email. Alexmek92@yahoo.com