₦airaland Forum

Girl you are in for a big ride, to even think you just got married smh, brace yourself for along journey of agony

Stop calling or visiting that mother in law unless, you are in the company of your husband( she obviously seems not to like you and has a tussle of power with you) selfish on her side though

When your husband calls her, say "Hun can I talk to your mom, " or call in your husband presence so there
Is evidence you are calling her

When both of you are off from work, encourage hubby and you to go visit, don't go alone

That your mother in law is a monster in law

You go for honeymoon and mbam out of nowhere she gets sick, you travel all the way to the village to find her
Doing her house chores and not in a hospital bed fighting for her life

To be honest she wasn't in an emergency situation to cut off your honeymoon, very selfish of her.

Did she not have any relatives to call,

Just be cordial to her and keep her at arms length,

Your husband will eventually see his mum is manipulative, just encourage him to support his mom, but you keep a distance.

They dont give birth to 12 children each like nigerians

Poster, well said. I could'nt agree more. You have said it all,

I also cohabited before marriage and my marriage is still growing stronger

Advantages, you get to know your partner well to make a good decision

Nigeria always leading Africa on bad publicity, scams, fraud , chai

Relatives breaking marriages since 1100 bc

Go back to your family, before you are buried 6 feet under

You should be worried, I wouldn't tolerate that

Okay this pissed me off to no end. I had to register to respond to this stupidity.

Silly relatives who imagine they have a stake in a couples relationship because they want eye service. It is absolutely annoying. If I hadn't had a similar experience recently I would have joined those castigating the lady. Here is my own experience.

I had a baby recently and my mother in law came, spent some time and left, when she was leaving we gave her gifts and money as always my husband and I would talk and decide what to give and he would let me give the gifts and money. Granted this time it was less than we usually give her because we just had to baby, had expenses to handle and we were a little more cautious.
After she left his cousin showed up claiming he had an interview , okay ohhhhhhh. I noticed the guy was a little condescending but I didn't let myself worry about that because I had my baby to worry about.

I have a none live in maid who comes and goes in the evening.
Anyway his cousin was nice and " respectful " when hubby was around, as soon as hubby left for work he ate breakfast and called me from my room to come and pack the plates, thank God I never knew how to do eye service I ignored him and went back to the room, even in my condition then 3rd week after delivery I never did that to my maid, I would still eat and take my plates to the kitchen myself.

Meanwhile I cook only lunch because I had to sleep when baby was sleeping as baby would keep me up all night, I had soups and stews and would ask the maid to make rice or swallow to go with the soups for him. Hubby hardly ate dinner as he took food to work ate a late lunch and would take fruits in the night or fix himself a sandwich.

This cousin would stay in the sitting room lying down on the sofa changing channels rudely when I had guests. Anyway after that plate stunt I sent my husband a message and was very upset he apologised,called his cousin and when he came back the cousin said he was leaving the next day, even though he claimed he came for an interview he didn't attend any.

After he left, they reported to an elderly family member who called hubby and I these were the allegations :

1. I am lazy, I don't cook amd clean even though I am a house wife

2. I don't work yet I "control" the finances I must have jazzed my husband

3. I was rude to my mother in law

4. I am was not accommodating enough to my in laws

5. He bought me a car

6. I was controlling

7. I am wasting money employing a non live in maid doing big woman just wasting money for nothing.

Meanwhile here is the real situation :

1. Lazy housewife lol; I never pretended to love housework. However hubby felt we were spending too much time apart doing housework instead of enjoying time together hence the decision to hire a house keeper.

2. When I met hubby he was a lucky go fella spent money as he made it, I was the opposite helped him start saving, I was working too and taught him then how to change naira to dollars and save in a domiciliary account, then naira was 152 within a year he had saved over $20,000 just by blocking loopholes and being more careful with finances. We had opened a wedding joint account and maintained it after the wedding as a family expense account. I had to stop work but I had savings to carry my weight during my period of unemployment. Hubby trusted me with tracking financial expenditure hence he would let me handle that.

We contribute 60-40 to expenditure even though I am a " housewife"


3. I was rude to mother in law: when I would need to sleep she would want something and would open my door shout until baby and I woke up, I would end up with a migraine and baby would be crying and edgy, so I started locking my door to nap. When i mean she wants something, I mean she can't find the TV remote or has problem changing channels or light goes off in the afternoon and she wants gen on. Meanwhile she hardly helped with baby.

4. I would definitely not do eye service to please anybody, I do things at my own convenience end off

5.The car was because he didn't want me stressing with the old car while pregnant and with the new baby.

6.I was controlling lol, I dont even know how to respond so if a husband and wife mutually agree on financial decisions it means control Lmao no wonder some men die and their wives don't even know their bank accounts such ignorance

7. The house keeper comes in the morning and leaves in thw evening then a few hours weekend. We are fair people, we rejected the " bring a girl from the village and train " issh we didn't want to abuse anybodys child. My mother in law was very angry anytime the lady was closing from work or when she does a new hair do, how dare I allow my maid to have so much freedom, well she is an employee not a slave.


Anyway the elder was so upset when hubby told him what happened he called a meeting and warned mother in law and the silly cousin who apparently heard her complains and came to " fight " for her he told them not to get involved in our marriage and stay in their boundaries. He kuku banned cousin from visiting us since he chose to be so crude

This meddling family members need to get a life. Then they will blame you if you don't allow them to come to your house.

Flye:
I don't think this issue is about a maid, it insensitivity by the lady which proves the lady is the Kim kadarsian types we see now a days. A woman that took care of you when u gave birth despite her own condition and you can't provide any assistance for her, it is not a good at all. I know most ladies that are commenting on this thread are teenagers because I don't think any mature minded human being will support this heartless girl the op is talking about, but I still blame the husband to be because he looks like the kind of guy who married only for beauty and superficial thing and I bet you, the mil will suffer more of this in future.

I just pray I don't end up with ladies like this, it is really a disaster to do so.

But the lady has just given birth, it's not like she is strolling the streets doing nothing, am assuming you are a man, you have never had your abdomen torn in layers to pull out a baby, then go home with an abdominal wound to heal, while taking care of a baby 24 hours. Besides the lady is alone with hubby abroad, how much do you think this poor first time mother can handle? Why are Human beings this insensitive.

The girl is fresh from c section( could take anywhere from four months to 1 year to heal)

She could be going through post partum depression( childbirth is no childsgame)

She is still nursing a new baby with a husband abroad.

How do you expect this poor girl to drop her life and run meet your aunts needs.

Poster hire a maid for your aunt, help watch her, leave your cousins house alone.

Wickedness Chai!

Nigeria world leader in scam/ fraud drug since 1605
Leading Africa continent in scam

Poster you seem to know everything that goes on your cousins house,
Do you even have a job,
Do you have your own house, hobbies, maybe? How do you know people's deep affairs like this.

I need to hear the woman's side of the story to make a judgement
Some mother in laws are manipulative, ( they act nice to relatives then treat daughter in laws like crap) I'm not saying she does not deserve care, but they could be more than meet your eye poster.

Poster I have had similar experience with my mum. It is very depressing, I send my mum money to send me a house help, coming to find out she pocketed that money and the house help had to sell her stuff to come work for me. I was upset. My mother has problems with me helping my cousins that are orphans but either way I still do it. Mothers can be funny, am not really surprised by my mom I knew she was something, just at times it shocks me.

Let him wait for 72 virgins in heaven, religion of peace indeed.

Even dancing lol

Nigerians full of hypocrisy, people sin everyday, Anita makes a mistake in her life, now see all the chastise and curses she is getting,

Life is not perfect, just let her be, how many successful single mothers exist there, a dozen. Anita raise your head high and face life heads on, no condition. Is permanent dear, problems are just but a passing cloud.

Let people that have been adviced complain. Not yeye onlookers who've never commented but are first to foam hypocrites.

If a relationship is worth separation or divorce we will let you know.

Poster,so you should stay in abusive marriage until your spouse kills you and your children are left orphans for you to separate.

Nigerians and inferiority complex, this Americans will be ashamed to be compared with our village champions
Idleness Chai!

Wonder why all this Nigerians are obscesed with Texas, besides more are trouble makers

Too many people in Texas
Too hot in summer
Traffic unbearable
Not a lot of jobs.
Too much Hispanics and foreigners
I hate this dump,can't wait to move
I could find a job in a heart beat in my former state, please poster stay in Nashville

Nigerians and fraud and drugs are like 5 and 6

I agree Lagos comes last. We are way at the bottom

ffo:
WAO, cant wait then.

Looks like you and your wife had fun in kenya

rawpadgin:
I have mad love for light skinned babies

you even had to bring your inferiority complex, shallow ignorance skin bias on kids,
Shame on you. What is this stupid obscession with skin color
Some stupid Africans smh
Can we ever enjoy stuff without throwing the complexion

What has skin color got to do with this
I see all black kids I don't see any white kid here

Who would buy a car made in ordinary naija chei, let's fix electricity first

Wondering out loud

I will stick to Japanese and German made cars