₦airaland Forum

Decker:
What is wrong with you guys? She just asked a question. She didn't ask if she was beautiful or sexy, she just asked what you felt her skin tone was?

Nigerians normally have different views as to what being light skin or dark skin is. My definition of a light skinned person might not be someone else's. That's why she asked the question. All you needed to do was just give your opinion or skip the thread.

.
That is called attention seeking

wonyi:
Thanks, she is in her house warming up. Did u read her disobedience n disrespect attitude. Some 11 years old look after their siblings properly Check with some female children. When u beat ur child with cane or wire people call it discipline but a WARD it's called maltreatment. She leaks milk n milo. IMAGINE just two persons n it's not our regular breakfast yet the second container is down. I was grooming her to be organise but it seems I was. ...

Kids grow at different paces, just send her back home to her parents, if I were you I would be more understanding.

You are so petty, you have to seek clarity here, don't you have a mirror at home.

I remember a Ghanaian lady was jailed in UK for this kind of forceful feeding, which made her kid get fluids in the lungs, then pneumonia then death, I think she was jailed for almost 20 years

Sometimes we Africans cannot really think

I will never stay in a polygamous marriage, never!!!!!

If my husband insists this, God forbid, we will be in court the next day dividing property, finances and visitation rights,

I will never let him and another beeech come eat my sweat.

Then I will set him free hence forth and raise my kids, then look for another divorcee man to warm my bed, but only when kids are grown.

You seem to be accepting of this situation because you are unemployed, please next time let a husband set you something before you drop babies

You mean you will allow your husband to bring in another wife.

My dear prepare for suffering that will follow,

My advice, DO NOT BEAR ANYMORE KIDS, three is enough for you in case you are thrown out in the streets

Be ready for jealousy, backstabbing, limited resources, you will suffer my dear, you and your kids.

And please empower your daughters so they will never have to put up with this like you are doing.

I think this forum should be contributing money to help people like this.

Dont go to puerto rico without a valid USA visa. Please be advised

pretydiva:
Na dis kind woman u wan marry ni ..somebody dat had d guts 2 raise her filthy hands on a woman old enough 2 b her mother ..

Op u should b happy dat she's not yet ur wife. Nor go marry woman wey go kill ur mama 4 ya neck oo..

What if the mother in law is the patience ozokwo type that will slap a daughter in law For no reason

What kind of a mother in law with try to fight a weak girl who just had a baby.( why didn't the mother in law walk away and call his son)

A woman fresh from having a baby could be suffering from post partum depression, I suspect mother in law and I think this is not her first time.

Pidggin:
Then when you get to your fifties, sixties and beyond, the basic amenities you mentioned may not appeal to you as much as the communal African spirit once again. You decide to relocate and build a house with the money you made while toiling in the West, but your Western trained children will not relocate with you, they will abandon you for the Western comfort which you also sort in your youth, they will adopt their individualistic culture and their lack of care for the elderly, and you may find yourself alone and full of regret, It's a vicious circle indeed.

What would you advise pidggin?

This point has hit home, reminding me of somewhere I used to work, when some Americans called me to go help translate for them communication with an African man that had been homeless for ten years, with no relatives, no friends nothing.

I asked them what part of Africa he was from, they could not figure out. The director of the place called a hospital where he had been dumped before which confirmed he was Liberian.

I told them I was not Liberian but connected them to a Sierra Leone guy who knew some Liberians that came to try help the guy.
First forward years later I tried to touch base with my Sierra Leone friend who told me the elderly Liberian had died, nobody claimed the body from the mortuary and state buried him.

To this day am thinking this could be me, I think Africans need to not forget their roots and secure their future.

I suspect mother in law is a usual instigator

Son is a boy

Wife has been stretched dry and has reached the bottom(poor girl)She just had a baby three months ago

She will be better with her people

sexydivaomalich:
.

They are all from her post, not removed nor deleted, just a click on her past post / username you will see all she has posted.

So who are you oga Seun or his personal aide?
Instead of focusing you are busy witch hunting, get a job boss.

Can't you let people have the freedom to express their thoughts here? Smh

I recently had a very horrible experience with Emirates

This particular plane plunged down about 7 foot, followed by a sudden silence in the cockpit, you could hear a pin drop,

Then suddenly people were shouting Allah, God! In various languages, I thought it was the end, I was real calm and prepared to meet my maker

Suddenly this pilot got on the intercom and laughed apologizing, damn, people were almost dying in panic

pansophist:
For those that have spent their formative years in a communal society like in Africa, the social starvation might be insufferable and its even worse if you live in a homogenous society with a different language and weather. People are superficial and pretentious, you sometimes might find yourself in a situation where things that are easily found back home becomes a big deal (like making friends, being cared for, compassionate people, etc) which subsequently leads to frustration of the host country.

This is not a phenomenom experienced by Africans alone but virtually everybody, the only difference is that it is percieved in different ways. Even the natives are not left out, old people are irrelevant, having little or no social life, depression and anti-depressant consumption is very high, living a routined life etc. Unless an African is born and bred in the west, he/she would most likely get bored of the system sooner.

Well said, how you grew up determines how you will find self worth.

I thought the aspect of talking to everyone at home was epic, you never feel alone, you don't even stand a chance of getting all those personality disorders brought about by loneliness and depression.

If poverty was not an issue, I think we would all enjoy our Africa.

Tvegas:
I have seen this scenario over and over again. Johny got bored with life abroad and relocates home, after struggling to cope with poor amenities within 3 months he runs back to the western world . Except for few who got great job offers,I hardly see people relocating willingly.It's easier said than done.

I know a few people who swear they are heading back then lo and behold you run into them back and quiet,

What I have figured out, is most of them have very high expectations of what life should reward them back at home,

Most of them make a grande come back, with bashes, announcing their comeback pouring money and all that

But if you arrive quiet, don't inform whoever is not immediate family, try to live absolutely basic, blend in, don't try eating out five times a week or go on extravagant vacations and such,
just live really simply, you might adjust well.
I have seen people that have gone and done well, and I have seen someone go and borrow money for a ticket to come back lol

14:
The very same nigerians are flocking in SA by thousands for better life, but they still say they are the best in Africa.

Exactly my point, if you are doing so well in your house why risk your life, your sanity, your intergrity going to seek food in your neighbors house.

Pidggin:
Then when you get to your fifties, sixties and beyond, the basic amenities you mentioned may not appeal to you as much as the communal African spirit once again. You decide to relocate and build a house with the money you made while toiling in the West, but your Western trained children will not relocate with you, they will abandon you for the Western comfort which you also sort in your youth, they will adopt their individualistic culture and their lack of care for the elderly, and you may find yourself alone and full of regret, It's a vicious circle indeed.

You have nailed what am trying to get at, kids here have no value for family no values whatsoever no cultural identity, I would hate for my kids to adopt this individualistic culture and dump me in a nursing home during my last days, this has been a point of contention for me and hubby for a long time.
There are a dozen standard international schools in Africa that have produced elites and I have looked into them. I have given myself a deadline in this country. I think east, west, south, north home sweet home.

BuddhaPalm:
Ok.

What I would say is that Maurice is an adult, and we only live once - as much as well can remember.

So if he fancies the girl, he should go ahead and tidy. And since he's married, he should be discreet.

Vault should help - app.

What if the woman gets a baby?
He will run back here to open another thread bothering our minds.

I could tell you security and the health system at home are nothing to write home about.

But suppose you are offered 7000 dollars a month, would you relocate., the job benefits includes paying upto 90 percent of your kids school fees, you get a hefty house allowance and a company car.
Think of how this money overseas does not get you anywhere.

I don't know about Nigeria but where I come from such money will go along way. Remember in Africa bills do not amount to what we pay here.

Plan B, all my kids are citizens so in case life hits rocks for us we would just need to come back.

Hubby is not joining planning to leave yet he has to complete his PHd.

Sometimes I wonder if this Nigerians had everything going on, how they would behave, suppose they were South Africa and people all over the world were flocking there( look at how South Africans don't rub it on people's face that they dominate Africa, they have humility)

Nigerians brag and have this fake sence of power, while all the world know the suffering in that country.

Ghana is way better in everything than Nigeria

Wonder why typical uneducated Nigerians think they are better than everyone in the world

Such a shame

Thank you all that have contributed

I looked at the school system here, kids bringing, guns, knives to schools, I looked at my precious babies and thought, God forbid.

Companies like IBM, Google, Microsoft opened in my country, I told hubby to seek employment there. Plus the power of empowering all those we left behind that could use some mentorship. Imagine if we put the amount of hours and commitment we put clocking in here to something back in Africa we can progress slowly but surely.

This hustle and bustle overseas with nothing to show for, loneliness, no social life, it was worthwhile when I came in younger but right now, all plans in my life have been channelled home.

whocanbewho:
who's struggling to go to ghana.? Mayb the outcast ones thou, what is a true naija boy going to do iin that shiii.t hole. In my country, you dare not tell anyone you are going to ghana because people see it as a very insignificant place. I'm sure you read the news, our politicians steal money for fun that's because we have it in abundance. Yes we flood everywhere , there's no where on earth you won't find a nigerian. I call that the hustling spirits. Unlike you lazy bones.

You call Nigeria rich yet the travel section is filled with people trying to flee anywhere for survival, people from rich countries like USA, China, Germany and UK don't flee looking for greener pastures even in Haiti like Nigerians do.

Even ordinary African countries are content with their lives in their countries they do not have to flock even to war torn Somali looking for pastures like Nigerians

200 million people in such a small cess pit. Don't they teach family planning in Nigeria or it's another hustle spirit.
Did you say your politicians steal for fun, I bet that's a typical Nigerian mindset, ignorance of the highest decree.

I came to the states to study, years later I extended my stay

Got married have young kids, but the urge to go back to Africa is daunting( I don't come from Nigeria but one of the African countries)

I went home for vacation and couldn't help the feel that I had lost a part of my life my dreams and my desires, lost relatives, missed part of my siblings growing up, missed the weather and such.
I have a feeling that

Staying back in Africa and impacting lives is worthwhile than enjoying the convenience of amenities down here.( I'm finishing a second degree and am ready to go) hubby is not on board with such, but he is willing to let me go try the experience.

To me over ten years in this country is overdue, I don't really enjoy all the drive through and other amenities in the west.

On all my visits to my country I have not had problems staying in a remote village trekking places and such. I like the exposure, experience and education I have had overseas, but I think making overseas my permanent home is futile.

Anyone ever felt such a strong desire to go back home?

Nigeria has over 200 million people living in such a small country, I wonder how this people give birth like rats,

You have all this Nigerians flooding all countries of the world then forming biggest economy.

How come South Africans do not wander around the world searching for food and shelter, neither do Ghanaians, Togolese or Africans in general.

They struggle daily to go to Ghana then run back here to try assault Ghanaians.

Reminds me one day I grabbed a young white gals arm in freaking out,

Small planes are even worse,

I dont think you can have both

To me everywhere that is not Africa is sickening

After spending 15 years in U.S. Am so ready to go back home. I was born and bred in Ghana and if it wasn't for my husband I would have packed the kids and gone home nothing like Africa.

This are my thoughts,

Your mother in law filled for your wife when you were not married

Somewhere in between your wife added you and your child on the application

I think that's where the problem arises, call or email uscis asking to know the status of your application.

And please let us know how it goes this might help a person or two

If your mother in law is mama G kind aka patience Ozokwor, I would give that kind of answer

We have read hear how brutal and vicious this mother in laws are, you cannot blame that wife for exercising caution

Some mother in laws sting so hard.

Ignorance kills people more than anything

How does teaching relate to Hiv infection,( do you even know how many hiv infected people that are walking, working in places without knowing their status


Here in New York there is an Hiv doctor practicing,leave the poor man to work

Help me understand you,

Are you talking about NBC processing center in Missouri, which one in is Nvc

So the mother who is a citizen filed for your wife? Is that right

Uscis probably means they no longer have jurisdiction over your wife's case, and NBC is handling your paperwork, that is a normal protocol

Contact NBC, (which hates to be contacted and takes all the time they want) they are the one adjudicating your matter

I would be patient with them if I were you.