₦airaland Forum

Red-moss,dony tell me the story (by d way,see how I flipped ur nickname...cool,no) just ended like that ooo! Finish it nah abeg(and there had better be more garri cameos in it,lol)

Lol.ok,I like d twist d story is taking so far (don't forget to credit me as one of ur "creative directors" o!). Wtf is a blackberry "struggle" tho?is that some sort of bb model for d skool of hard knocks?that one still got me laffing!

Oh no! Who?who's d mystery caller? Don't tell its "minion".Hades? Kim?...finish d story nah!

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Writers,how do you get your creative juices flowing again,when you're stuck in a rut?

Rukemi291: I recently read on a thread that some words are changed to some other words on NL.

I never knew 'Ban.g' is among the words until i posted a joke that has the word 'ban.g' in it. Lo and behold, 'Ban.g' changed to 'Slam' before my very eyes, making the entire joke dumb and I looking stupid.

So, i decided to open this thread to know which words will be changed to what.
I am sorry if some words sound vulgar in my Yquest for NL knowledge...

The first words are written with a dot and d second ones are d same words without a dot.

Let's practicalise what they turn to....Abracadabra...

1. Pen.is = penis
2. Virgi.na = virgina
3. Vir.gin = virgin
4. Ban.g = bang
5. Squ.irt = squirt
6. Ejac.ulate = ejaculate
7. Bit.ch = bitch
8. Se.x =sex
9. Lesb.ian = lesbian
10. Cu.m = cum
11 Ga.y = gay

pls whoever knows anyother words should let us know. Thanks

My dear,I just put up a thread dis evening abt nairaland censorship.I didn't even know u had done that already.I thot I was d only one who was disturbed by d nairaland "clean-up" lexicon,lol. A v.ibrator is called a "romance machine",lol. I wonder what a d.ildo is called...let's see: "Love Machine"(I actually typed d.ildo there,to see what it will magically transform into,lol)

Hey fellow nairalanders! Abeg,no be say I wan find seun trouble o,but I just have to ask: is it just me or is nairaland-censorship becoming ridiculous?
Now,don't get me wrong,seun; I totally understand the need to create a family-friendly,"politically correct" forum,where people from different backgrounds with different ways of reasoning,can interact and feel comfortable.maybe this is for fear of offending anyone's sensibilities(or perhaps,to create a wider audience-base and increase the commercial appeal.who knows?).however,I think d rate of censorship on this site is becoming kind of ridiculous and sometimes,just plain silly.
A lot of times,I read articles here,whose words hav been censored within an inch of sanity.sometimes,I can't help wondering if I'm reading an article written by drunk nuns and monks.
Not to lie,the censoring takes away the meaning,"sweetness", and fun of a lot of write-ups.
Here are some of my favorite "cleaned-up" versions of some "dirty" words/phrases:
1)S.ex: this becomes "being intimate".now,correct me if I'm wrong,but when did "s.ex" become a profanity?I always thought it was the proper,biological term for intercourse btwn a man and a woman,or a description of a person's gender.with nairaland's conversion,I would imagine that a sentence such as:" she hasn't learnt the 's.ex' of her unborn child" would translate to something like: "she hasn't learnt the 'being intimate' of her unborn child".this doesn't really make much sense...or any sense,even!
2)P.enis: now,this is yet another biological term which is viewed as profanity by nairaland censorship board,and is therefore treated as such. A sentence like:"the patient presented with some inflammation around his 'p.enis'wuld go something like this: "the patient presented with some inflammation around his "manliness". Now,a translation like this would make a novice on nairaland wonder if the subject's masculine features(beards, muscles,deep voice,bald hair etc) were all inflammed.how does a baritone voice even become inflammed!lol.
3)V.agina: this is turned into "womanliness"(quite a mouthful,if u ask me).I won't even talk much about this one;just see the note on "manliness" above.
4)C.ock:okay,this one is actually quite funny,when it's not so annoying. I was reading a thread on old t.v shows sometime ago and someone mentioned the old NTA drama series "c.ock crow at dawn".well,needless to say,it became "rooster crow at dawn"(really seun,seriously?!). I literally fell out of my chair laughing at that one! "C.ock" wasn't even used in a dirty way in that context,yet they turned the whole thing around!
5)R.ape: believe it or not "r.ape" isn't actually a dirty or vulgar term.the act itself is reprehensible,but the word which describes it is not a slang,but a proper english term. In nairaland parlance,"r.ape" becomes "molestation"(irrespective of reference to proper grammar or context. For example,"the woman tried to "r.ape" the 18-year old boy" becomes: "the woman tried to "molestation" the 18-year old boy".this is just poor grammar and sounds ridiculous to the ears,lol.
another substitute for "r.ape" is "despoil"(is that even a real word?),hence, "the identity of the r.ape victim is still hidden" morphs into "the identity of the 'despoil' victim is still hidden"(now,dis one just makes the victim sound like egusi soup which has gone bad due to prolonged power-outtage.
6)V.ibrator: this one,I just stumbled upon recently,and I can't stop laughing!"V.ibrator" becomes "romance machine"(still can't stop laughing!what does that even mean?).it sounds like robot that gives out flowers and heart-shaped boxes of chocolate on valentine's day.lol
Okay,make I stop here.feel free to point out any other puzzling censorhip u've observed on nairaland.like I said b4 sha, "no be say I wan find trouble o"! Seun and moderators,I know say una no go gree put dis one for front page,but it's ok sha,lol.

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