₦airaland Forum

khalids:
If his wife was your sister and she does not cook when you go to her house, will it be an issue

I agree with everything you said except this sentence

If you go to somebody's house and they don't give you something to eat then it's a humongous issue oh

That's if you people are not fighting. I can't go to my sisters house and there's no food and two of us would be sitting there looking at each other, no way on earth

DJperdurabo:
I stopped bothering to quote and enlighten them.

Leave them be. The OP should be wise enought to pay attention to relevant posts and not these balderdash from folks who didn't read, read and couldn't comprehend or follow up on OP's comment.

A lot of times I wonder why people bring deep and troubling issues here? While I agree that there are matured and sensible folks who may throw light on these issues, the majority are just here to just "type" nonsense never knowing how they may be worsening issues depending on the psychological make-up of the individual asking for help or advice.

I tell folks to be careful what they say to others needing help as you might just be saving or killing a life. If the issue is beyond your level of wisdom, gently waka pass rather than confounding issues

Imagine folks attacking the OP inspite of repeated clarifications he's made...you can tell the OP is hurting deep inside and folks here are reducing the issue to "entitlement", "wicked wife", "lazy brother" etc.

Jeez!

Thank you! People just remember their own past but won't read the topic to see if it matches or not. All their anger with their own relatives will be coming out instead of what the OP needs

They brought out some interesting perspectives but without relating it back to the post

CanadianNaija:
Then call him, and check on him. Just don’t visit him and take the gist of his house to go and gossip back home. He gives you money to eat out, but you had to point out that his wife doesn’t like to cook, I wonder how that’s your problem when you’re not her husband.

What Do you know how painful it is to go and visit somebody and they can't even offer you a glass of water?

Forget that they were fighting the wife for a second, on a normal day is that thing okay by you

DJperdurabo:
I'm beginning to think the wife has nothing to do with this.

The issue is with the man. You may be surprised how hard the woman is fighting for the family but Oga, nor gree, he prefers to hide behind the "Una no accept my wife" pillar thus placing suspicion on the innocent wife. A lot of women are suffering for things they are totally innocent of in today:s marriages.

Yes! They will have an issue with their family but leave the wife to stand up for them both so that he can look like a nice guy

Sylver247:
A lot of people here do not understand where the op is coming from. They have never been in these situation before, they are just replying based on their imagination.

If you were born and lived all your younger years in a very close knit, loving and caring family like the op, you would understand how it feels to suddenly loose one of your siblings, not to death but to disagreements. Your sibling is alive but it seems like he's dead, you see you brother relating very well with others, helping others, he's known as a great guy who's always ready to help. But to your family, he doesn't care.

I'm not surprised that it started after he got married. It always does. To those saying leave his wife out of this, yall don't know anything. If his wife is not responsible, who is? You guys don't understand the extent of women's influence on men. Some of them go to the extent of using spiritual means to turn men into sissies, in connection with the wife's mother.

People don't just change overnight. If the brother was fed up with them, he would have shown that a long time ago when he wasn't that comfortable. The truth is that he still loves his family but a lot of things are happening underground which only the wife and her family know.

Op, there is nothing you can do in this situation other than keep living your life. It's hard but that's the reality. The more you try to force it the worse it becomes. Let your family continue living their lives and ignore him. He will come to his senses if he wants to.

I agreed with you until you started about the wife, you also used your own imagination there!

You didn't see where he said that they actively opposed the marriage partly due to the girls family circumstances?

So it didn't just "start after he got married" organically. They actively instigated it and pushed their brother away thus.

henryobinna:
how's Mark wicked

He is mining data to sell and influencing politics worldwide

Legendguru:
Hmmmm it’s not about haircut it’s about the numbers

So the haircut made you finally say something apart from "Ohh"

meobizy:
This man don old finish. Wow.

Not old but stressed!

Every day he will be appearing before the Senate for one nefarious activity or the other!

There shall be no rest for the wicked!!

jaxxy:
Here’s the truth, that fact I are brothers or siblings doesn’t mean u automatically have a wonderful relationship, relationships are built and worked on even siblings relationship tho there the family bond. Ideally yes it shud be a great relationship.

Now u and ur 2nd bro never spoke or related dat much growing up except for the 1st son, why? Age difference with u the junior ones? How many are u? If it’s a large family of 8 above I can understand it cud happen bt a small family of 4/5 siblings it shudnt.

Also despite this initially cared for u all until u guys went against him because of his choice of wife. Ur reason for this will be crucial and important to why he changed and also the type of lady his wife is. Probably not the forgiving type and u brother loves her AO wants to please her because she was a victim of the family attack initially.

Ur brother will not change his attitude to u guys until u have genuine made peace with his wife and this will be extremely hard because there is a break in trust for not supporting her to mary ur brother beside the regular trust issues for in-laws generally.


Whether ur brothers wife is a good or bad person is another discussion all together.

You said everything there is to say

TruthProphet:
Nothing to worry about. No award would be given you for speaking Hausa.

No Nigerian language is worth killing one’s self over, they have no international worth. Better to learn a language that is marketable e.g French, Chinese, Russian, Arabic, you must know one of these along with the English you know in order to get an international job maybe in the U.N or something like that. Where you wan carry Igbo, Hausa or Yoruba go...?

Wow! What about UNICEF, doctors without borders, the red cross/crescent, oxfam?

What about radio broadcasting? What about ministry of health campaigns? And publishing?

English + a native language (and French if you can handle it) are more than enough

solex2346:
Try to do some research about this topic,it may help u

Lol you yourself need to do your research and stop spreading misinformation here

If you have sex and contract an std you need medical treatment, urinating has nothing to do with it

You people are not even reading what the guy wrote

He's not interested in the money

They have resolved the problem with the wife (according to him)

The brother sends money to their parents

They didn't do well in fighting his wife and pushing him away but what he wants to know is how he will resolve with the brother

Mistakes happen between human beings in families, it's not a crime to want to know how to do better

mvem:
aren't we saying same thing

Yeah i was supporting your comment

lefulefu:
but you dont use ur hand when u have long nails on nau.all those paints ladies use on nails many of them contain harmful chemicals and when ingested can cause harm.she no even fit know dis .

Yeah thats another reason

I have only ever fixed nails twice in my life... I cant cope with nails at all so your health campaign is not directed at me

I was brought up eating it with my hand

I got to camp and saw some guy using a fork I decided to try it

I prefer to use a fork now...she can as well try it so she wont spoil the nails or give herself food poisoning... using those long nails is no good unless she carries soap and brush to scrub before and after eating...

mvem:
lady you don't need to be there. History shows us what people of that time wore, it is not rocket science. We know where Jesus lived and what era he lived .So simply find out how they dress in the that region and that particular time. The Op is confusing himself. Men of that era did not wear trousers but flowing robes/gown...whatever you call it but their cloths were quite different from the ones worn by the ladies

Even in the story of the prodigal son, we are told that the father had to gather up his robes so that he would be able to run to his son when he returned

"We must understand that at this time the wealthy just did not run. It was considered undignified, and something for common workers to do. Not only so, but the robes they wore did not lend themselves to running. When one wanted to work or move quickly, he would take off his outer garments and gird up his under-robe, tying it up underneath into what we would describe as a kind of pair of shorts. Yet this father certainly took the time to do none of this. Thus, when he ran to meet his son, he would have had to hold his skirts up as he was running, and altogether would have looked not only undignified but also fairly foolish. Yet it is clear that this father did not care how he looked to others, so eager is he to meet his son."

https://precepts./2009/02/16/luke-15-continued/

Unserious comments everywhere

So just because he's a billionaire, it means he's free to cut his hair anyhow and nobody should say anything when it looks bad?

No wonder our politicians are a bunch of jokers. See sycophancy

Being a billionaire has nothing to do with neglecting personal appearance! If it looks bad everybody is free to say so!

i have heard of ear but not nose

Sorry, for once I have nothing to comment. That is truly out of this world

Just tell her you dont like it. In a sensitive way

funmisticqueen:
This your statement just turned my lady parts to butter.

Op is just frustrated that he is a bad kisser. Doesn't he know that what influences whether a girl will date you or not is the kiss

Lol he is analysing the technicalities of it rather than lose himself in the passionate moment. The whole process of sex with another person can be disgusting to you if you keep ruminating on it.

On the other hand, some people genuinely dont get any satisfaction from it

Just like different people have fetishes that we would find disgusting

youngds:
Nothing at all, that's a terrible assumption.. the "curtain" is nowhere to be found..

You're saying that that's not what the original purpose of the wedding night is?

mansakhalifa:
Not fair, likening that OP to a very notorious religious fundamentalist. Hahaha

Lol well he likened himself with him by choosing such an unfortunate monicker

Unless he's just trying to say that he is "from Baghdad", which is what it means

Powersurge:
There is 90% chance that I will not eat rice with cutlery.

Is it in your culture not to eat rice with cutlery

mansakhalifa:
LOL... of course you are right with the first paragraph. Tunics and garments were most likely the vogue in those days.

But as for the second paragraph, it hasn't been confirmed if the real Al Baghdadi is really dead or not. Things aren't clear enough for now.

Well, they said his compound was raided and he detonated a suicide vest. Lets just hope that its true.

Shouldnt you be saying "Jesus never wore a gown" Of course Jesus must have worn a robe now, that was the attire as of that time.

dem never show you Bible movie for sunday school

By the way Al-Baghdadi was blown to smithereens early this morning, maybe you should choose another moniker

eni4real:
Elaborate on this please

Hmmm..let me ruminate on it

iammo:
coding is similar to maths, if you love maths you would love coding and using boolean and arrays similar to matrix

i am into web based softwares , server side programing

... you have the whole sunday to sleep, hang out with your fellow nitgh crawlers here.. i promise we wont bore you

Maths is ok and at least more interesting than coding. Do you use natural logarithms and "e" in coding? Thats my favourite maths topic

If i could code I would design educational materials for children. I used to love those when I was growing up

Lol okay...please entertain me oh. I am wide awake

TheGenius001:
Let me tell you, no matter how you use the brush scratch your tongue it will still smell. Its only but a matter of time.

Except you haven't kissed b4 na. Becos while kissing, the face of the person you're kissing seems to resemble a goat wether the person fine or not. Its becos of the closeness of the person's face

At the bolded, youre supposed to close your eyes!

This stuff your saying means you are not really captivated by the romance, thats why youre seeing these things. The desire is supposed to override these considerations

If you actually think about a human penis or vagina, you will be disgusted too. They are not particularly attractive body parts. But its the connotations that come with them that make people forget how they look. You will see guys on here who talk about p*ssy 24/7, yet they cant handle the thought of a urinating or menstruating woman.

You could reduce so many human interactions down to how silly or pointless they are, if you tried. But if you do that it sucks the fun out of things

iammo:
am a software designer and a freelancer.... why do you want to get back to sleep, dont leave us night crawlers alone

Cool, what type of software?

i wish I could learn how to code but it doesnt capture my imagination

Lol I am a nightcrawler too but I want to get back to sleep I was enjoying it

iammo:
am willing to best my last card you are into medical science.. infact you are a doctor

And what are you into? Can you please help this scientist get back to sleep?

iammo:
but are austistic people violent

Sometimes. If its a severe form of autism and its not being managed very well the person can get agitated

TheGenius001:
Good. You're very intelligent.
"Overactive amygdala" I hope its not an insult?
Modified
I guess its not really an insult

Thank you, and so are you.

No, its not an insult. The "amygdala" is one of the parts of the brain that processes feelings of disgust (and fear). Its implicated in several phobias.

Its actually part of an evolutionary mechanism that stops you from contracting diseases (from animals, spoilt food, etc) Thats why you feel somehow at the thought of mucus, saliva, urine etc. even though you have them yourself. Its also involved in warding off deviant sexual practices ie incest.

Maybe your own is trained to flee from kissing as a disease vector

TheGenius001:
Yes of course. Peoples mouth even mine are all disgusting and we know it.

Yeah. But then bodies themselves are pretty disgusting, if you really sit down and think about it. There is a psychological filter most people employ to get around these things so that they wont overthink it.

Then again, I think your partner would get you if you explain it to them. Not all forms of intimacy suit everyone

Maybe you have an overactive amygdala