₦airaland Forum

femtex007:
Lets say. Love conquers all. Most of those divorcees are regretting their actions

Really? Wow!
Sarcasm or ...?

blesskewe:
Last last na death go end am

Maybe twld be better if she dies straightaway &not left to live with a terrible condition.

bukatyne:
I wish you were right.

ANY woman who wants to leave an abusive marriage will do so with or without a job.

Quote me anywhere.

Yes o! It's about enlightenment.

nan1:
Guy let me be honest with you that girl is seeing another man forget that born again it's deception I'm speaking from experience I have many friends that claim born again if you see what they do you will be shocked if she really loves you she will be the one begging for sex haba even after trads? Forget the white for now and don't force her again do as if you don't care again stop showing how much you love her girls take men like you for granted

When there's counterfeit of something,it definitely means there exists the authentic.
Choose your friends wisely sir!

Enemyofpeace:
At the end of the day you will discover that some people have been there before you. I just hope you didn't pay too much dowry on her. What is bad in test driving a car? I ate nonsense.

You will continue to eat nonsense!
Talk of test-driving...
You test-drove Judith,u were intellectually incompatible; u test-drove Iara, u were financially incompatible; u test-drove Alimat, u were sexually incompatible. So ppl shd be inheriting leftovers abi?
If 10 ppl taste gari frm a seller without buying, what happens to d seller's capital nt to talk of making profit

Offpoint:
I'm sorry, there was no agreement in the write up.... "I didn't take it serious" was the statement.

He didn't take it serious, neither did he object. See the issue.

Offpoint:
They agreed "Not to have sex until wedding night" this is the only time the both have an agreement.

"what if we are done with traditional marriage rites are we still not gonna have sex? To my creates surprise she said we won't until church wedding is done. I did not actually took her serious"

He didn't take her serious on the second quote, meaning he wasn't in support neither did he object....

I know what I read and I understand it.

Very well sir;silence must av meant consent then.

West2019:
pls what did the Bible say about marriage , if stated White wedding and I need the prove pls

Sir, I'm not here to debate abt types of wedding ceremonies or how they're conducted. I'm simply towing the line of what this groom here stated.
Note: I'm not even a fan of wedding ceremonies.

oscarhyno:
My brother I suggest you do d white marriage as promised, but with conditions, go to court n inform them that this marriage is on a trial stage, if any unwanted issues arise that the court should nullify your marriage without benefits, because bro my friend is a victim of such, he went n got married to a man instead of a woman, now they're busy adopting n the adopted children refuse to live, think n act wisely, most women don't worth it

... while all men are worth it

ufotty2001:
she is using a cream called virg.ina tightener.. the more days you wait the more the virg.ina become tight so she is using that white wedding to delay sex so that her virgin.a will be tight and look like a virgin... fear oweerri girls

See reasoning!

West2019:
she get strong mind die where in the Bible that said after paying for pride Price and traditional white wedding must be done befor sex ,if you mistake married that girl u are on ur own ,collect the money yo have spend from her parent if dem can't be able to provide it let them give u the pride Price money .you have need to involved ur pastor or any family member that ur wife denying u sex after u have done the most important tin which the Bible said we should do She is hiding something

Wow!the better for the lady cos getting involved with smone who can't keep an agreement,doubts her claims (of being a virgin), capitalises on bride price, brings sacred matters of d home (a barely established one) to a public forum, etc is DANGEROUS!

AleAirHub:
Mental slavery will keep prevailing in Nigeria & Africa at large.

Why will a girl trick me into the traditions of another man country called White Wedding �?. I will never buy that idea �. No traditional marriage no marriage. Simple as ABCD.

I blame many Nigeria �� gentlemen for several failed marriages everywhere. Many of our men get carried away with the cheap fantasy in their relationship & invest heavily on their WHITE WEDDING.

Op stick to your agreement because none of NL members were there when both of made it

When we agreed to start up a relationship after being friends for about 6 months, it was agreed that there will be no sex until the wedding night but at a point I asked her "what if we are done with traditional marriage rites are we still not gonna have sex? To my creates surprise she said we won't until church wedding is done. I did not actually took her serious.
Where did u read that he was tricked into having a white wedding sir?

sykeng:
Good lady as how? Religion extremists is the worst set of human being to be with, they have paid your bride price which is the most important thing what else do you want. These are the kinda people who adore their pastors but disrespect their husband.

You seem to know the lady in person sir.

salt1:
Thanks so much! I blame the girl for accepting to marry someone who doesn't share her godly principles. I guess she was desperate to answer Mrs.
See him exposing her and her value system to ridicule.
I hope this is a fake story. But if it's real, she will learn a bitter lesson on how not to be unequally yoked together with an unbeliever.
My spouse and I chose to honour God by waiting until after we have stood before God, said our vows before God and man, and received the blessings of family, friends and the elders of the Church. We have a very happy home.

You just took the words out of my mouth. I wonder Y she got involved with smone with whom she'll have to drag issues, spiritual principles esp. I fear for her really!
God bless ur home eternally!

ObongNizz:
One Chance.
Oga go and collect your money back.
Never get into a marriage where a woman dictates terms.
You will hate the rest of your life.

Yes now, since a woman is just an object with no alternative than to be acquired by a 'lord' who doesn't even have to know his right from left.

manontree:
This is very provocative. I keep saying it that the decision NOT to have sex is a moral one and not a medical one

Since she doesn't intend to have sex with you until your wedding night, this is also a moral decision and NOT to claim you two are NOT married. We have three types of marriages in Nigeria..Court, Church/religiois and Traditional. Either is valid. I keep asking why we expend time and money combining them



He may have promised to go through with this but he is human and a man afterall. He has done well to have gone through marrying her already and made a wife of her. If she doesn't take care of her home, she is inviting unnecessary issues into her marriage so early

- What has marrying her got to do with doing well sir? If he doesn't, someone else&prolly better wld.
- Whether moral/medical decision, it's hers&she made it clear to him early enough in the r.ship.
- Why refer to her as foolish or one with a low IQ just cos she's keeping to her earlier stated principles?
... let me just stop

marvin905:
show me the place in the Bible that says anything about church wedding..
you guys will just be turning the Bible upside down..
who created church wedding is it God or the British

It seems people here have turned the debate to one abt trad&church wedding. I don't think that's the issue here cos they both agreed dt there wld be a church wedding before which there will be no "consummation" according to the lady in question.

Wiseoldman:
By law, you need a government issued certificate. This can be issued by any Nigerian with such authority, some places of worship have applied and gotten the license and can issue this. Biblically, you need the traditional wedding.

That is why no church will do a ceremonial british traditional wedding without you confirming that you have done the traditional wedding.

Can I ask pls, why then is the traditional rites irrelevant when one seeks to be wedded at a marriage registry?

teemy:
@ igwegeorgiano and @midnighter, the two of you give a balanced look of the whole scenario but I might as well add a few words.

igwe, I suggest using the soft approach to this. According to her sex before white wedding is well, wedding and anything sex before then is called pre-marital sex. Ask her "are we married?", "are we husband and wife?"

An answer of no can easily be resolved using a dictionary to let her understand that a wedding ceremony ushers in marriage between a couple and as such they start being called husband and wife. As her title from then on has been wife and yours husband. No pastor will negate this.



If the answer to those two questions remain as yes but she wants to stick to her previous resolution - which you did not object to, she is right to do so. She might have maybe a vow or self obligation to achieve that. Let her.

There is however the fear that a church wedding is being used as a trap for if she is a non-virgin, infertile or even has a disease. If she takes all tests (which she should have no objections to) to show there is no foul play and come out clean, I think you should give her this with a warm heart.

Wishing you well - Teemy

And if her answer is 'yes',they are husband &wife, what will her legal proof be? Can she officially claim a 'a Mrs' or do a 'change of name' to his without being wedded in a marriage registry or a religious centre where a certificate of marriage can be issued?

Offpoint:
I'm sorry, there was no agreement in the write up.... "I didn't take it serious" was the statement.

When we agreed to start up a relationship after being friends for about 6 months, it was agreed that there will be no sex until the wedding night but at a point I asked her "what if we are done with traditional marriage rites are we still not gonna have sex? To my creates surprise she said we won't until church wedding is done. I did not actually took her serious.

Here u av it sir.

DeeMain:
You have no honour. You have no respect for her nor for God. You gave her your word! And those words mean absolutely nothing to you.

Brother, I am angry. Two, I am ashamed on your behalf.

You agreed to wait till wedding night and now you are shifting goal posts, playing the victim and manipulating and blackmailing and guilt tripping her just so you can have your way.

This case is not about whether you are legally married or not already or if she is a virgin or not so don't try to bamboozle us with extraneous materials here as someone like me will call you out on your BS. This issue is about an agreement to wait and a promise not kept.

And the guilty party is YOU.

You see the way you do one thing is the way you do so many things. If I were her, I will begin to have serious doubts about your character and wonder if I've made a huge mistake.

Naansense and manipulation!

I tell you o, really serious doubts! ... especially for bringing the case to Nairaland.

Offpoint:
An African man doing a white man wedding

Please what's the Biblical requirements before one is declared husband and wife?

The moment I pay your bride price and our both parents gives their blessings, we are officially husband and wife.

To Hell with white wedding, almost most of our parents didn't had 'White Wedding' doesn't mean God didn't approved their unions.

You claimed she's 'Disciplined woman's so the guy that obliged to her wish till he paid her bride price isn't disciplined?

What if he can't afford White Wedding?

The so-called white wedding doesn't have to be a lavish one;in fact, ppl (esp easterners) spend more on d trad. than to receive the priest's blessings.
That aside, the point here is that there was an agreement.

Enemyofpeace:
At the end of the day you will discover that some people have been there before you. I just hope you didn't pay too much dowry on her. What is bad in test driving a car? I ate nonsense.

Why & how won't you eat nonsense?

nextstep:
OP, please fulfill her wishes. She doesn't feel fully married until all the rites and ceremonies, legally binding, church, and traditional. You agreed initially, though you both didn't hammer out the full details.

You love her right? Complete all the ceremonies because they are important to her - and she can use it to shame her enemies.

Why? For sake of your future peace of mind. You don't want this to be a source of argument in some future. Trust me... your future self will thank you.

PS. Please don't combine words like "paid bride price" and "right to her body" in the same context again... it's debasing.

You are indeed a mature mind! Majority don't know what it takes/means to be HAPPILY married&it's Y most are emphasising the bride price/right to d body.

CrimeKsmart:
Most of the SW governors have been visiting churches times without number and we never hear any Muslim condemning them for that. But let's Buhari do this for once and you will start seeing how our IPOB members will start shouting, feelimg insecure and condemning the religion of Islam.

At the end they accuse the north and muslims of being religiously intolerance but deep down,they are worst fanatics.

What are you saying, oga?You seem to be contradicting yourself. These ones visiting churches, aren't they normal church-goers?

....

franchasng:
Unfortunately, that's how majority of women of today are; insatiable.

My little observation about Nigerian women: Igbo ladies cheat more while single by keeping multiple boyfriends but as soon as they marry, majority respect the marriage vows and stop cheating or messing around but Yoruba ladies are more professional in cheating after they marry.

Seems marriage brings out the infidelity in most Yoruba women

What a fallacy of hasty generalization!

iwant2beheard:
I rep 1st set (2003), its all for a short time bro, since then I have had 2 masters degree, an will gun for phd,

Bottom line is that

I have moved on and forgotten all the hassles I went through in bowen, praise be to God!

Congratulations on your achievements sir.
First set was 2002 though.
Great Alma Mater!

nextstep:
Wonderful story... and lovely girls...

I do wonder what kind of doctors we have that can't use their training and ultrasound to see (for instance) three hearts or three sets of heads? I mean, to the stage where they stitched up mom before realizing there was another baby? Even with the sound meter you will hear the "wop wop wop" of three different heartbeats.

We thank God for small miracles, because this could have been a different type of ending.

Na real wonder o

ImaIma1:
Like someone who delivered a baby only for the doctor to realize that they were twins after they had rounder off delivery. The other twin didn't make it

Imagine d height of carelessness! Fetal heartbeat, USS, etc. all there to confirm if nt sure

If Tomisin&Toni shared a placenta according to d story, ow come she wasn't noticed?
Don't d surgeons exteriorise &ensure dt d uterus is empty during CS, esp in d case of multiplies.may we nt be victims o...
So if they noticed soon afterwards,na to re-incise d poor woman?
Gbese!God save person o; man is fallible bt...

aro1:
at last ds guy/gal don turn celebrity. moral lesson: kip doin anything that makes u happy,one day it will turn to money

Even insanity? Anyway, d rate at which derangement sells these days is a thing of serious concern...Hmmm...