₦airaland Forum

Magnoliaa:
Yes.

Mind sharing how?

arthorjnr:
Trash

Ok

It may seem that most men appreciate a woman like this or most women feel comfortable sharing the bills but it isn't really true. Most men feel emasculated in such situations and most women will not submit totally to their husbands nor give them due reverence while sharing the bills which pierces the man's ego and make him demand respect through physical actions which hardly ends well for both.

It is best a man remains the provider. Men should hope and work towards being rich and comfortable, this is how most homes remain happy and satisfied with less trouble from the woman.

That's what I know.

What is the mind of God towards marriage? What is his will?

God who instituted the marriage union has a standard for it. The scripture clearly shows God's standard is to be followed and observed by his children for he gives good husbands and wives to those who come to him.

It takes a wise mind to seek the face of God earnestly to receive his choice of marriage partner as proverbs 19:14 says "House and riches are the inheritance of fathers and a prudent wife is from the LORD." Matt 7:11 also says "If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? ".

God understands and knows the partner who will complement you. He knows who will give you have and satisfaction, this is in the best position to guide you into the choice of partner. Remember Isaac and Rebecca.

Furthermore, the scripture warns believers against marrying unbelievers - someone who has not been saved from sin through the blood of Jesus Christ. He is a sinner. He or she may be active in church and profess to be a christian, but there is clearly no evidence of such profession. Such should not be married by a child of God. Titus 1:16 "They profess that they know God; but in works they deny him, being abominable, and disobedient, and unto every good work reprobate." 1 Corinthians 6:14-18 "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty."

Deuteronomy 7:3-4 likewise spoke on the same which reads "Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son.For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the LORD be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly."

Do not esteem same advantages as beauty, same tribe, same church, same educational attainment, social status, wealth, family background or such others above the requirement of the scripture. Do not risk your eternal soul. It is better not to marry at all than to marry an unbeliever.

In continuation, those who are already married should know that God is the marriage builder. He can repair every marriage union and solve every problem between husband and wife. Bring your marriage before the Lord. He would put it in order and give you peace. "A father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows, is God in his holy habitation. God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains: but the rebellious dwell in a dry land." 1 Peter 5:7 "Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you."

God who is very interested in our marriages has given us in the scripture his standard in marriage. Those who desire to serve him must keep this standard. Mark 10:6-9 "But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. "

The scriptural marriage is a union between one man and ONE WOMAN in holy wedlock. Those who marry more than one wives are sinners before God based on the dispensation we are now compared to the dispensation of old.

It is the first wife the Lord recognizes, the others are likely prostitutes before him. The man who marries more women or keep concubines is commiting adultery against his wife and defiles the holy matrimony shall be judged by God.

If he wishes to repent of his sins and follow the Lord Jesus Christ, then he must put away those women he is commiting adultery with, whatever the number of years they have stayed together, whatever the number of children they have gotten in the marriage. Seperation is required between him and the illegal women but not the children. He should remain with his first wife whom he married.

The scriptural law of marriage binds a man to his wife and a woman to her husband as long as the other partner is alive. Romans 7:2-3 "For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man." 1 Corinthians 7:39 "The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord."

Divorce and re-marriage to another person is not allowed in terms of God. Whoever divorces and remarries when the other partner is still alive have no part in the kingdom of God. He or she is commiting adultery.

Mark 10:11-12 "And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery."

Matthew 19:6 "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. WHAT THEREFORE GOD HATH JOINED TOGETHER, LET NO MAN PUT ASUNDER "

If you are married to another woman or married to another man apart from your first scriptural binding marriage partner, you are in a wrong relationship and must dissolve it, if you want to please God. You should go back to your first lawful marriage partner or stay unmarried. 1 Cor 7:10-11 "And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife."

Saving for the cause of fornication explained

There are those who say that adultery commited by one of the partners in a marriage union can result in scriptural divorce and remarriage. This interpretation came from the misunderstanding of the following scriptures.

Matthew 5:32 "But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery."

Matthew 19:9 "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.""

The issue here that can cause divorce is fornication and not adultery. Unfortunately some Bible translations replace the word 'fornication' with 'marital unchasity' or 'marital unfaithfulness'. Many stumble by these renderings. Fornication is a sin commited by someone who has not entered into the marriage union.

The following scriptures would give the understanding of the above scriptures

Matthew 1:18-20 "Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily.But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost."

In this scripture Mary was called the wife of Joseph when they were still in bethrothal relationship and the marriage union had not yet been contracted. When Joseph taught that Mary had been pregnant due to fornication he made up his mind to put her away and he would have done so, except that God stopped him and gave him a clear explanation of Mary's pregnancy.

Among the Jews the bethrothal stage of marriage was binding on the partners and they were not to seperate from each other but to enter into the marriage union at the appriopriate time. Jesus in Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9 above showed that fornication by either of the partners during bethrothal relationship can break the bethrothal bond and the other party could be free to marry another. This is in consonant with the uniform revelation of the New Testament. No scripture stands alone. Divorce is of the ungodly world and no divorcee enters the kingdom of God.

Among Christ followers, we must note that when two believers are in bond to marry each other and one of them backslides from the faith, such marriage proposal must discontinue. The other partner has become an unbeliever and can no more be married to keep the standard of the scripture. If the backslider repents and gets restored with the believer and still feels persuaded to continue the marriage proposal, it is acceptable. He or she is not marrying a sinner but a believer. A man can also decide not to marry as long as he keeps himself from masturbation and fornication.

1 Corithians 7:37 "Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well." (1 Corinthians 7:37).

Let us consider this that scripture again Matthew 19:9 "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."

Seven facts to prove that adultery cannot cause divorce

The following facts shows clearly that this scripture does not refer to adultery or marital unfaithfulness commited by a husband and wife who are already married.

1) Jesus said a husband and wife in a proper matrimonal relationship are no longer two but one flesh. This bond is made by God and man has no power to cancel it. No minister, church or custom has authority to dissolve the marriage bond between a husband and wife in a scriptural marriage union. Divorce pronouncement in a law court by a judge based on the laws of a country does not dissolve the scriptural marriage union because the laws of God are higher than the laws of any country. Matt 19:4-8

2) The grace of God in Christ Jesus gives the believer the power to forgive his fellow men for all sins including adultery even as Christ forgave him. Matt 18:32-33, Colossians 3:13. Anyone who practices the word of God would forgive the wife or husband for all sins and restore him or her to marital love, fellowship, rights and priviledges.

3) Jesus showed that adultery is as evil as every other sin in the sight of God, damnable and forgivable. John 8:4-11

4) Believers are instructed to remain bound to their unbelieving marriage partners as long as the unbelieving partner remains married to them. 1 Cor 7:12-13

5) God loves children and seeks to protect and save them, hence, he hates divorce. Divorce does a lot of harm to the children born in the family. 1 Cor 7:14, Mal 2:14-16

6) Adultery in marriage does not seperate some of the sinners around us in the world we live in. Should sinners become more reasonable, patient, loving and forgiving than the saints? It is not too much for a believer to forgive the adultery commited by his marriage partner. Matt 5:46-47, 20.

7) The Lord has confirmed this truth to his servants who met him face to face in a divine encounter. Divorce and re-marriage to another partner when the first is still alive is damnable in hell fire. Divorcees do not enter the kingdom of Heaven. Hebrews 2:1-3.

Cheers

I'm yet to understand what most guys see in relationships and dating.

TheGidRedpiller:
You look harder! Rouge biittches are disgusing themselves to be nice and decent wife materials because they need to get married!

I've seen that and I know how to detect and elude them without the slightest headache.

TheWolfen:
I doubt sir.
They got same leech and sick mentality. I don't wanna die before my time

What kind of environment do you search for a woman and why exactly do you want a woman?

TheWolfen:
Surrogacy is the best way out... Most women are unmarriageable these days

Look harder, good ladies are around you.

OKOATA:
You are very right bro, what you feed your subconscious mind all day is negativity about women. Nobody’s perfect but if you marry the right woman your life span will last just like we have seen cases of very old lovers still together after years and if one of the couple die you notice the other dies shortly. My own is that if you want to get married don’t just get married, make sure to look out for signs and pray about it and God will show you the way. Let’s be positive even though with all the negativity we still need women in our lives. I can’t do court marriage sha o no matter what cos I am presently in court divorcing my ex right now and the stress is too much bro. Now she wants full custody and I also want full costody of our child too, she’s so stubborn and won’t compromise. The least I can do with a woman after this divorce is just family introductions like the traditional way and that’s all. Court marriage is what I think people should preach against or there should be a prenup clause instead of preaching negativity always.

Court marriage is the worst marriage a man can initiate. It puts marriages assunder. I strongly advise against it also and I would never venture into it for any reason. Traditional marriage/church marriage is the true marriage and no other. God bless your home Sir and I hope things work out between you both.

Moronic post borne out of weakness, resentment and emotional frustration. You all aren't afraid of marriage, you're just afraid of marrying the wrong person.

Might I add that this regular habit of whining and complaining doesn't make you all an alpha as you claim. I won't be surprised if these issues you all so much dread and keep complaining about eventually happen to about 80% of you.

There are marriages out there which are still solid and peaceful but your negative minds didnt let you see them, rather you only saw the sinking ones and got afraid. Reality is your minds aren't yet prepared for the task of being a leader and a protector in your home in spite of all the red pills and power tips you presume to have taken, thus your insecurity and apathy towards marriage.

I don't blame you though if you reside in the western community due to their laws over there but I really despise your weakness if you dwell in Africa especially Nigeria here where you have a upper hand as male.

Accept it or not, you can't have a positive life if your mind is negative. Have a better understanding about what it takes as a man to lead a home and you might turn up with a better and stable home.

Nonsense.

Modified: For those who feel baby mama is the way, who think having a baby mama is more peaceful than marriage, here are some disadvantages I highlighted in a post I made this year.

https://www.nairaland.com/6544708/disadvantages-having-baby-mama

Read and know if you are up to the task.

Xenry:
Why don't they just go out there and hustle too? Must we guys do the whole stressful hustling stuff?
Mehn, I swear any girl wey go ask me for money these days won't find it funny, she go regret am.

This is why I chosed to be single, I hate liabilities. Those girls hate hustling and fighting for themselves, they prefer to throw their weights on guys, as if to say we no get our own problems to fix.

Single life is bea, never underestimate the peace that comes with it.

Girls should hustle abeg.

It's only the girls that hustled with us that will follow us to enjoy, not the one that stayed with us when we have "nothing".

So, make una dey try hustle small.
I use to see a lot of jobless and lazy girls everywhere these days, and it's not funny.

Just like someone once said: Nowadays, they no dey talk about "our head", but na "my head"... Na person wey follow us hustle, na she go follow us enjoy, na she we go even marry sef.

You will marry your age circle? Good luck!

Here

The main reason I advice young people to learn a business or skill. We see a lot of graduates leaving the university everyday only to become job hunters for a long period of time or poorly employed.

There is nothing better than having a business or a skill you do with your hands. Formal education should be a plus.

He isn't wrong.

siofra:
So me na that have problem with all my Nigerian male friends, what do I do?

Stop being too available to them.

True but romantic love is literally blind. It doesn’t always seem to matter what other people say to or about your lover. He/she is always perfect in your eyes, and being in love makes you a less productive person and makes you become like a puppet towards your lover.

Falling in love is not a choice. To stay in love is. You can fall in love anytime but try all possible best not to stay in love making sacrifices for anyone who doesn't reciprocate. You'll become so invested and somewhat addicted to that person putting you at a huge loss if the person refuses you later on. Only people who have learnt enough from their experiences or that of others can learn to love less and think more . If you don’t love yourself, you’ll always be chasing people who don’t love you, either.

And though people say that love and trust is all that matters in a relationship but it is a false concept. Time is the most important thing. With time grows trust, friendship and an inseparable bond between your partner and you.

There is a time for love, a time for trust, a time for friendship, a time for romance and a time for commitment and sex. Believe it or not, it isn't timely for a struggling guy to seek a relationship before financial stability neither is it timely for a young virgin to awaken love or be sexually active before marriage. Each is best fulfilled at their time and thereby elude all these tales of heartbreaks and depression.

I don talk my own.

EmptyGarden:
Who pay the person wey carry out this study?

They are mostly entrepreneurs and some like regular people you meet in your day to day life. These facts were founded via contributions from people round the world.

Oga Lalasticlala, what do you think?

Here are the facts some of us may or may not have noticed about second borns.

1. Second-born children are more resilient

When second-born children are born into a family, there is already a first child who has enjoyed the full attention of everyone in the family, and will continue to do so, albeit perhaps with some minor shifts.

With that, your second-born must quickly learn how to cope with the need to share the love and attention of mum and dad. He/she then learns early on that life doesn’t always go their way which then helps him/her develop resilience and independence – both of which are valuable skills that he/she will need while growing up.

And as a parent, you couldn’t be any prouder to see how your little one navigates through life with a whole lot of confidence.

2. Most Second-born children have great negotiation skills

If there’s one skill that second-born children will become good at during their growing up years, it would be their ability to compromise and negotiate. And this is especially so when they eventually become the middle children!

Imagine the amount of time they would spend getting their parents and siblings to agree to their terms or to make their requests known. This is the perfect living example of “practice makes perfect”.

3. Second-born children are very determined

Imagine living the life of a second-born with an older sibling who is constantly running around, talking faster than you can process and always eager to show off to mum and dad what he/she can do.

To fit in, your second born would want to catch up as fast as possible to get his/her fair share of hugs and praises.

But as mums and dads, we can help them along the way by encouraging and praising them for their efforts.

4. Second-born children develop beautiful friendships

One of the most awkward things about being a second-born child, especially if one is also the middle child, is the feeling of being left out at times. This can be a common occurrence as mum and dad’s attention is often diverted by the older or younger siblings.

With that, second-borns tend to be more sociable to make up for the lack of attention at home. Known as the “social butterfly” of the family, they make friends with ease and usually have no issues fitting in various social circles.

In short, your second-born child is likely to be the friend who makes one feel at ease despite just getting to know each other.

This theory doesn't apply to majority of second borns cause research has it that some are highly introverted.

5. Male second borns are likely to become more shrewd, rebellious and aggressive.

Based on factors such as number 1, most male second borns tend to become tougher, more resilient and have a higher rate of shrewdness compared to the others.

6. They are not as favored as older siblings

In the book The Evolution of Personality and Individual Differences, the authors wrote that second-born children are not as highly-favored as the elder children, nor do they receive as much overall attention. This causes them to become highly independent and rather ingenious in their approaches to life. They aren't given as much, so they have to use what little they receive and make it last and make it more valuable.

7. They're given more autonomy... at least at first

If you have two or more kids, you already know what this one is about. With the first, you're on that child like white on rice. You monitor everything they do down to the tiniest detail. By the second child, you're more laid back, relaxed. Research published in the Journal of Adolescence suggested that second-born children have much more autonomy than first borns. That is, until the first borns can truly take care of themselves and the parents don't have anywhere else to put their energy... so it goes right back into the second-born, taking away that surplus of autonomy.

Or if you're the middle child, you just kind of get lost in the shuffle, which is the best of both worlds.

8. They're less likely to go to or finish college

This is mostly due to the fact that the resources were mostly used for the firstborn children and were not available to them. Ironic, given that second-borns were more stressed about education.

Few examples of popular second borns and middle children include everyone from Martin Luther King Jr. to Bill Gates to Jennifer Lopez. Locals include K cee and E money.

AAAntz:
op is right but another angle i want people to look at is guys badmouthing their fellow guys infront of women


this also is very common nowadays, the rich bad motherfxxking guys are always the one telling the women who to fxck or love or marry nowadays

they are the ones controlling the pxssy cartel

and that is why it will be very hard for poor broke guys to easily break the wheel

This theory isn't really true. Superior women are the ones who control or at best aggressively advice the lesser women (and sometimes men) on who to get married to.

Another factor you might also be forgetting is that women naturally are also conditioned to go after successful men over their counterparts for reasons i earlier shared in the post.

Guys except maybe a few do not really antagonize other guys in their romantic affairs. I don't do that, you don't do that, so it's just that.

At least enlist the specs.

5G hasn't been stationed in Nigeria yet.

Tecno would only rise amongst the tech-ignorant. My boss' tecno mobile was recently hit with a plier at a distance from a wall socket to the floor (about 1.6 feet) and the screen got extremely damaged with ink all over it and now he has to source about #15,000 to repair it.

Talk about subpar devices.

josephevergreen:
Nice write-up

Thank you

AmazonTopaz:
Nonsense @men are to lead,women are to follow

Reply me with your facts not your emotions.

Lalasticlala

Fountainofyouth:
I refuse to understand the thread cos I know it's same usual unending rant.

Suit yourself

Fountainofyouth:
Same cries, same vomit everyday, una no dey tire? What is wrong in going for already made men? If it hurts y'all too much, tell your sisters and daughters to marry broke men and leave other girls alone.

Pls understand the thread before commenting.

EmptyGarden:
"Low value men"! Chai! See title. Some men just dey sleep and wake up everyday not knowing say Dem be Low value men... Ok na.

Low value men are men who haven't developed themselves to become men of substance, especially financially. It is required for a man to be financially stable or display the chances of future success before women would highly prioritize him.