₦airaland Forum

Pricelessruby:
Was it wrong for her to consider a rich man over a struggling one even when she herself isn't reasonably rich as well? If yes why is it so?

1. No it is not wrong to consider a rich man, it will ease her a lot of future problems, you can never know a man when is poor, when a man is poor he can be humble to a fault, and will take a lots of shits, and once he start having money, you start seeing the real him saying this based on experience

Was her mother's advice sound and was it logical or not?

2. Our mothers generation is quite different from ours, what works back then may not work now, cause people are kind of desperate now,

How often do women who remain with struggling men eventually end up with them later when they turn rich? Do you know any woman like that?

3. No I don't, when a man doesn't have money they settle for less, but once they start having money, their standard becomes high

What would a woman be doing precisely if she chooses to struggle alongside a struggling guy?

3. It depends, in my own case I give him money to start a poultry that almost wreck my business, for some it can be moral support and occasional money for food and recharge card.

Should a struggling guy be with a woman in the first place?

4. No

Should a woman be compelled to carry the mantle of a provider as well in the home? If she does, is she to still accord total respect and submission to her husband?
5. In Africa context, yes

Please judge these questions according to your wisdom and give your replies. Thank you.


Please do come and help me out on this

Lilpen3758:
Op me i no get time for big english
my question to omola abi what's her monicker self be say
" Suffer no dey tire you"??
you come from poverty wan go continue with a struggling man?? for this buhari regime??
how sure are you, you will end up with your struggling man if he makes it? how sure are you he will ever make it?
what will you tell your children if dey tell you " mummy we are hungry" and there is no food at home??
Abeg make una deh get sense everything no be love......

Your brain dey on fire bro. Luv your comment.

kingkoboko:
D gal that created that post didnt tell us d context of her mum's advice.

Wat do i mean by context?

Her mum may hv noticed that her daughter is too materialistic 2d point of missin out on d hardworkin promisin young suitors comin 4her hand.

Some gals will consider a young man wit a 100k per month job as struggling & broke. She wants a guy makin at least 500k per month who can buy her d latest iPhone + latest fashion items, not mindin his source of income.

That mst b why her mum was cautionin her 2calm down. Hehehe...

Wat if she marries that ready-made man & his biz or hustle crashes after 3yrs of marriage? She go carry her pikin japa leave her broke husband in search of a richer man outside?

We all know that women dont marry 4 luv, but at least try marry man wey u go fit stay wit weda money dey or e no dey because life is full of ups & downs.

*drops mic*

emmaodet:
Was it wrong for her to consider a rich man over a struggling one even when she herself isn't reasonably rich as well? - For me i will say No, it is wrong for a poor lady to think of getting a rich man to a poor man. Why can't they stick to their level? Ladies running away from their counterparts will distort marriage because a lot of people are poor and if their fellow ladies are avoiding them, there will be chaos in the society. The high rape cases, paedophiles, masturbation etc is as a result of these but since it is happening to men, no one cares.

Was her mother's advice sound and was it logical or not? - Logical

How often do women who remain with struggling men eventually end up with them later when they turn rich? Do you know any woman like that? - Bro why the focus on Men? how often do men who struggle with a lady end up with her? some illiterate traders sponsored a lot of ladies to universities but got dumped after graduating citing not in the same level again, many bfs were dumped after their gfs left the country to a greener pasture like canada. It is a cruel world, this thing can go either way.

What would a woman be doing precisely if she chooses to struggle alongside a struggling guy? - Good question and i also have a question for you too. If a woman decides not to struggle with a man, what is the assurance she is going to make it on her own anyway? So to me, she is not doing the man any favour sticking with him, they are both poor and trying to plan and find a way out of it and i hope in that process, she is not unproductive and become a burden to the man, dragging him back as most do.

Should a struggling guy be with a woman in the first place? - why not? is the criteria for being with a woman is finace, then i believe most ladies will die lonely and poor too because if men are to use this yardstick too, it will be a monumental failure.

Should a woman be compelled to carry the mantle of a provider as well in the home? If she does, is she to still accord total respect and submission to her husband? - A person that is respectful, cultured and homely will be homely whether money or not. Most uncultured people just hide under being the provider for insulting and disrespecting their partners. Should men be disrespectful to their wives if they are the one running the home? a question again.

emorse:
I'll share as much as I can with as few words as possible.

Firstly, real life in most cases isn't as portrayed in the movies. In Nollywood especially, a poor slave girl/boy meets a rich prince/princess, they fall in love, get married and live happily ever after. In real life however, the rich marry the rich while the poor are left to marry one another. This negates the scientific law of attraction but it is what it is.

The lady whose post you quoted sounded like she needed to marry a rich man so as to escape poverty. Though she didn't outrightly state it. That, in my opinion is an unrealistic aspiration. An effect of the excessive consumption of nollywood materials.

This is not to say that aspiring to marry a rich man/woman is a bad thing. Not at all. But the odds that a poor man/woman would attract a rich woman/man is pretty low. So to actualise that sort of dream, the person in question needs to find a way to become attractive to those kind of people. Which simply means, he/she needs to raise his/her economic standing first.

Kobicove:
1) Personally I do not think it is wrong for a lady to consider a financially stable guy over a guy who is struggling but the condition is that you must also be ready to bring something of value to the Union not just liabilities

2) Her mother's advice is in order. Every mother looks out for the best interest of her child

3) There is no guaranty that a struggling guy will eventually become wealthy. It's all just a gamble

4) Whether a lady marries a struggling or rich guy she must be ready to contribute some value and not just be there as a passenger'

5) In my opinion if you're still struggling financially as a guy it's best for you to try and sort out your finances to a reasonable extent before you think of adding additional burden by committing to a lady on a permanent basis.

People should stop deceiving themselves - Love alone will not pay your house rent or buy baby food or pay your children's schools fees!

AeroplaneApple:
It's a life of choices. Either you choose a struggling man or settle with a rich man, know that the future is always changing. What happens when the rich man happen not to be doing so well again?

https://www.nairaland.com/6592021/80000-naira-loan

advanceDNA:
U ddnt hurt my feelings...it’s just funny how u asked for opinion and u the lawyer, the judge and executioner all at once

advanceDNA:
I ddnt know u a JAMB examiner....u even said I was lying...I don’t know what u are feeling like...
It’s like personal opinion doesn’t exist in your dictionary

advanceDNA:
1) she can consider anyone that comes her way...women love comfort and money provides it... any woman will be tempted to consider

advanceDNA:
2) mother can advice based on experience or intuition..but it’s left for the lady to follow her heart.. if her heart is after money..no wahala..

advanceDNA:
3)I don’t have statistics for this question... but all around me..I see couples that started of poor and are now together when the man is rich..

You've just lied

[quote author=advanceDNA post=102499420]4) this one is funny...many women consider struggling...as allowing u to have sex when u can’t afford to buy them iphone 12 and 300k wig....
struggling with a man means support..
encouraging him emotionally, cheering him not to give up, drop cash to cook stew even when he has....
offer him cash when he doesn’t have or is broke.
..but u know women naaa....their slogan is still the same: “my money is my own, his money is our money”...

advanceDNA:
5) a struggling guy is not a human being...he doesn’t have the right to love or be loved in return....shòní orí é tí dàrù niiii....

advanceDNA:
6) a woman should not be compelled to do anything...if she has sense.. she should enter a marriage with a team mentality and not a prostitute mind set....team members help each other...any woman that doesn’t understand this basic rule should buy a d!ldo and live alone ...

If she does carry some responsibility...she doesn’t have to respect her husband again naaa...since being responsible means she has to be stupid and rude to her husband.

ZeroWorries:
I just posted the alert.

Very indisputable! I'm sorry for doubting your authenticity earlier. We just have to be cautious these times given the proliferation of scammers on this site and the need not to believe every information directed at us. You have done really well and will surely get more benefits from your act of kindness in the future.

Hope you get it before the week ends.

ZeroWorries:
Lol. Can someone actually sit down and form this kind of story fictionally? I don't know about that but I can show you the alert if you want to see to believe it. Besides, the aim of the thread was not to generate public sympathy. I just felt like sharing it. Let me show you the alert to believe it.

ZeroWorries:
What I did for a pregnant lady yesterday.

Ordinarily, this should be left between me and God but I feel the need to share. It could spur someone to also help others where they can. It was a selfless service.

At times, not until we know or have family lineage or personal relationship before we help someone but to help anyone we can without looking back. I am a 300level undergraduate. My mom (dad is late) place me on 8k monthly upkeep in school. The money landed in my account Friday evening and yesterday being Saturday, I was heading to the market to pick some stuff especially food items. Arriving the market premises, this heavily pregnant lady in her early 20s stopped and begged for my attention. Looking at her condition, I was already sympathetic so I stopped and listened. She started telling me what she is going through as the man who put her in the condition rejected the pregnancy and refused to be responsible. The security company she was working for laid her off when the pregnancy became very heavy. At the moment, no one to take care of her and obviously she will be due to put to bed very soon. Looking at her, I didn't know if all she told me were true but obviously she needs help as she was so down, drained and needed help as much as she could. Here, I quickly remembered a similar situation where my sister almost went through same if not for my mum who didn't reject her.

To cut the long story short, it was a hard decision but I summoned courage and gave that woman 5k out of my 8k. Right in my presence, the woman went into shops in the market and bought food items including some baby clothes from 'bend down select' (Okirika) and whatever the money could afford her.

When I went back to the hostel and told my friends about it, they were just laughing at me saying I'm stupid....they would see how I am going to survive. To them, it's stupidity but to me, it's a blessing. How 3k is going to feed me till next month is what I don't know but I'm not worried either because I strongly believe God is going to bring me favour too. We need each other in this life. Most importantly, seeing the joy in her after giving her the money also gave me joy and I went home happy. God bless us all!

VeeVeeMyLuv:
okay na this is the problem with most people, they think they can learn a trade in one day, it doesn't work that way.

Those person that plan to learn in one or three months training will just be like a half baked physician who only has knowledge to open up patients for surgery but don't have knowledge for the surgery or closing up the patient.

RisenJoe:
I served my oga who sell building material for seven years and I started at the age of 18yrs

RisenJoe:
Depends on where you are working and benefits attached to the work.

Like me now that served my oga for seven years, during the first four years insults was non existent but during the last three years b4 my settlement that was when this man brought out my case file of the things I did in last four years which I thought he has forgotten that I've been with him, the thing pain Sha but I got to mellow down because my settlement is near and if I dare raise my voice on him he might start beating me which I would be tempted to defend my self and retaliate back, but all along I kept quiet whenever he is barking at me like a dog, e no dey easy ooo but I know what I was looking for and I won't let my ego stand in my way, so I swallowed my pride and he trashed me but now am on my own after many years of serving him and recieving his insults.....



My advice to whoever is reading this is; don't let your ego and pride stand in your way, words(insults) are nothing unless you let it become something for you, but be sure you are always trying your best at work so as to avoid insults and bad mouthing.....

pansophist:
If they have my blood, them will know automatically, come join am with my mentorship, mehn, na die. Lion no de born goat

Couldn't agree more.

pansophist:
3. The wise

These are the perfect human, the ideals that everyone should work towards becoming. They are the ones that rule amongst the weak and the scorner. You will find lots of CEOs, entrepreneurs, societal disruptors (eg Elon Musk), scientists, and basically those that move humanity forward in this group. People like this understand the realities of the scorners and the weak, and skillfully use them to achieve their goals. For example, the CEOs of coke, cigarette companies, even founders of Facebook, etc never allow their own children to use it, but of course, milk billions out of the weak and scornful, who are a slave to their emotions and need public likes and following. These kinds own clubs and brothel, for the weak and scornful to have fun and play. They will mark up the price of a bottle of beer to over 2000%, because they know that the weak and scornful equate their ability to pay as being a quality human and being successful.

The wise do not play to win the battle, they play to win the war. For example, if you ask them to borrow you money, they may give you something they can afford to lose, and if you didn't pay back, it will be a perfect reason to cut you off completely. The lender may think he is smart to not payback, but he won the battle, while the borrower won the war of cutting such leech and forever beggar off. These wise are lawyers, they read wildly and understand human nature, and live with a hyper sense of awareness and vigilance. They are not easily impressed, and can hardly be scammed. They see the game for what it is and play like a pro. If these kinds are your partner, you will enjoy life. They are responsible, generally have a higher IQ, and are truly the meek who will inherit the world.

Everyone thinks they are the third, but only a few are. Most are not. A simple test for you. If you routinely blame others for your problem (showing a lack of personal responsibility), if you eat for taste only instead of nutrition and its effect on your body (showing a lack of self-respect), if you have no goal you are always working on, if you haven't read any book since you're born out of your own volition, if you jealous people instead of being wowed and ask yourself the price they paid to be a subject of your admiration, if you can easily be bought with materials, lack self-control and wants to eat a man's money or sleep with anything underskirt, if you are always broke, if you are not harsh on yourself, and tell yourself the harsh truth people are afraid to tell you, if you operate from a position of perfection, and get offended with corrections, then sorry to say, you are not wise.

YungMillionaire:
You don't support divorce then what do you support? Should he kill her instead? Will that be more acceptable to you than divorce?

pansophist:
Let her join you in your state, afterall, it was Eve that joined Adam in the garden of Eden, not the other way round. A woman can be spared of financial responsibilities of her household, but never a man. In anything you do, never give up your financial capability to go and depend on your wife. It always end badly and even if it does not, you'll feel emasculated.

How can a woman give you sex, become pregnant for you and also feed you? Please don't transform that sweet angel of yours to a monster, it's in every woman, and it will come out if you stop being a man in your relationship. Only move to her if you can carry your financial responsibilities, if not, don't move. Women respects a man that takes care of them, or at least not leeching on them, not the opposite. Take care.