₦airaland Forum

I saw this somewhere and I feel I should share it. Does it remind you of anything, maybe a typical Nigerian Government? Though the post is quite long but bear with me. ENJOY!!!



--- ONCE UPON A TIME !! Once upon a time, when Baba (Obasanjo) was in office as the president, he got an invitation from the Queen to come for a visit to England. After all the banquets and carriage rides and what not, Baba finally got the quiet moment he had craved all day in order to have a one-on-one chat with her majesty. After the usual small talk, Baba quickly popped the question (not silly, not that question). He asked her what the secret to her success was. You know Nigerians, we think everything is a secret…the President’s health status is a secret, his whereabouts is a secret, reports of the various panels of enquiry set up by Govt to investigate the causes of different crises around the country are kept secret, we even have secret registries in every government agency in d country. Maybe we are a secretive people, we love secrets.

Anyway, back to our story. So Baba asked for the SECRET to d Queens’s success and she told him that she relies on her people a lot and therefore she makes certain that only the intelligent get to positions of authority. She decided to show him exactly what she meant and so she phoned Tony Blair. "Now listen carefully, Mr. Obasanjo, I'm going to ask Mr. Blair a question to determine his intelligence.”

Queen: "Hello Mr. Blair, I have a question for you: your mother has a child, and your father has a child. This child is not your brother and is not your sister. Who is he?"

Tony Blair replied instantly, "It's ME your majesty!" Queen: "Correct! Thank you and goodbye" "You see Mr. Obasanjo?" said the Queen "Yes”, he replied “and thanks a lot, I'll definitely be using that!"

Once back in Nigeria he decided that he has doubts about Mantu’s level of intelligence and he decided to test him. He arranged a meeting with him and asked him: "Mantu I have a question for you; your mother and father have a child. The child is not your brother and is not your sister, who is he?." Mantu thinks...... and thinks………and thinks, and finally says, "Em, Mr. President, you must give me more time to think about it." And Mr. Obasanjo gave him 2 weeks to come up with an answer.

That afternoon, Mantu called a meeting of all his aides, advisers and assistants to discuss the question, but NOBODY knew the answer. So he decided to take it to the floor of the senate. After a heated debate the senate President thought it wise to clear out the gallery and go into a closed session as he believed the revelations that may result could be damaging to the family and reputation of the distinguished senator Mantu. After about two hours of deliberations, the house decided to set up an ad hoc committee to look into the matter and report back to it in ten days.

PortHarcourtBoy: My Dear, we both know if you step out, there's a sharp sharp replacement...even though I've not considered that option yet

So whatever ur decision, nothing do me...I just don't wanna break your heart for old time sake, and maybe for love sake...

Common rice you can't boil, custard you can't make, soup - zero, stew - 20 litres of water or oil, what is so difficult in humbling urself and learning from me or someone else?...Na wa oh!

I have advised you like a sister... Go and learn how to cook! Haba!! Na my food you wan carry dey play "okosoh"? A wise girl should have done something about this cooking issue a long time ago.

You can't cook, clean or nyash wella... and you expect me to be smiling at you and give kudos for that?

Haba PHboy, is this how you speak with your fiancee. It's obvious you dont really respect her, imagine saying if she steps out, there is a sharp sharp replacement. Please, please and please this is not the way to go. True, she may be lacking in doing basic things which may be very annoying and disturbing but I mean, you have gone too far.

PortHarcourtBoy: I cook, I clean the house, I get bad sex...wetin some of una dey yarn sef? All my Fiancee can do is lie on the bed and ask me to cuddle her...is that what marriage is all about?

As a man I neva try?

I'm the one managing her and hoping someday she'd change... if I dump her for one of the many chicks disturbing my life at the moment, you guys would be quick to say "Guys are wicked"...

If you love her, advice her oh... 'cos my patience is running out

I see, you are the one managing her, right? So many chicks are already disturbing u? and then your patience is running out. You dont sound as if you love her at all although u may in ur own way. Your words are very harsh and insensitive, pls tone down.

PortHarcourtBoy: As regards cooking, she doesn't like my presence around the kitchen, when in actual sense my presence is needed in order to guide her on what and what to use while cooking, right quantities of these ingredients and also the sequencing...but she doesn't like this

If we are preparing certain meals together and I tell her what ingredients to be used, she sometimes insists on the addition of some ingredients which are a taboo in standard cooking practice, eg. - adding curry and thyme to my local soups, if my tastebuds find it funny, I discontinue eating...when I complain, her response would be such continental spices are used for the preparation of soups in her mother's house. We are not in her Mother's house for crying out loud, this is my house and you must learn how to cook my way...

You already have a mindset that she cant cook, so no matter what she does u wont see any good in it. Why not try and believe in her, encourage her and despite her shortcomings commend her for her efforts. I am sure she will improve. I tell you, you may be affecting her psychologically with your unbelief, she will have doubts about her abilities. Try not to pry when she is cooking and if at all you want to correct her, do so lovingly and not in a condemning way.

I am saying this because it reminds me of myself before I got married. I've always believed I am a good cook and nobody complains when I cook. I have 2 Big Aunts (Aunt A and B)Aunt A so much believe in my culinary abilities to the extent that anytime I was around she would leave the kitchen for me throughout my stay. Once she sees me she would say "Thank God u are here, I've missed your food". She's a great cook herself so hearing her praises boast me to do more for her. Aunt B on the other hand is rather rigid in her cooking style, she believes in following a particular sequence in adding ingredients. I knew she doesnt really believe I cook well so this affected me anytime I visited her and u can guess what the result was (I was never able to satisfy her). You remind me so much of Aunt B, rigid, always finding faults and unthankful. She would enter the kitchen to monitor me like u are doing to your fiancee. I hope your fiancee still believes in herself sha with your big mouth.

maasoap: And when you wrote a particular semester exam and you scored "" in two courses. It means those Ds would not be recorded because if they're recorded, it would definitely affect your CGPA. Are you now telling me that if I write an exam and score 5 Ds but I'm allowed to rewrite it so that I can score As is not a fraud?

Hmmm. this is the best part, imagine that, I wish I had that priviledge .

Congrats to her all the same. As it is said "the end justifies the means", whether she attended Babcock or UI or UNN or UNILAG (sorry MAUL or whatever) she is now a Ph.D holder. Shekana

Genius100: I've never understood PE. Even if you bust early the first round, what stops you from going the second round. The simple laws of nature will ensure that you won't bust early the second round. Better yet, you could just self service shortly before going the first round and you will certainly last longer when it's time for the real deal..

What if 'it' doesnt get strong again not to talk about rising up for the task the second time. I guess the best bet is to go for medical help as others have said. It's good that the poster admits that something is wrong because people especially men wit PE live in self denial and keep giving excuses for that condition.

@op, dont get too worried, pple pass thru one challenge or the other at different point in time, be strong and you'll pull through soon enough.

Reading the comments of some people confirmed that there are so many deranged and insane people walking around like normal human being.

@poster, you've received some good advice but if you want more, post this in the family section. There is much more sanity there!

Have you been to NNPC Towers lately? I dont think so because if you have, you won't be suggesting this silly demostration. You had better keep off from NNPC Towers cos if you are mistaken for a boko harem you are on your own. I bet just one dog is enough to handle you and your life will not be the same again.

And why should you call yourself the son of nobody?

Well, what can I say - Congrats

But really when I saw the title I was happy for her but on reading that she is no 4, hmm... Haba no 4, but why? I wish her well sha.

It's a pity that your niece fell for such an opportunist, a liar that could fool the whole family.

It's like you have no choice but to help out but before u do, try to find out if your niece knew that he was not working. If she knew, then they both fooled the family and you may help the husband out with capital to start a business since she entered the marriage without being fooled.

On the other hand, if the husband actually deceived her into marrying him, then you have to be very careful. This makes him a very dubious and scheming goat, so dont give him the money directly. Instead, let your niece be in charge of anything you'll be doing for them. Empower your niece instead but if you can help the husband with a job, please do, abeg no money o. I dont think he could be trusted with money cos he is using your niece. Such a man may start maltreating your niece once he is ok financially or worst still abscond with the money. I know I may sound as a pessimist, but how could you pull that on someone you claim to love. Definitely, it is not love, it is selfishness and wickedness. But your niece sha, hmmm.... She no try at all, she must be very very naive and vulnerable indeed.

I mean, it's no crime marrying a struggling guy that is still looking for a job but at least the wife should know what exactly she is going into.

The Federal Ministry of Education is in Abuja while there are State Ministry of Education in all the 36 states including Lagos where you reside. Lagos state Ministry of Education is in Alausa, Ikeja. You may need to make your enquiries there. Alausa, Ikeja is a well known place so u cant miss it.

I could remember the day I wrote my last paper at the university, there was excitement in the air, coursemates were busy taking photographs but in the midst of it all, I was pensive. Not that I wasn't happy but to me graduating comes with responsibilities. I felt that I no longer had the right to request for allowance from my dad (my mum was late anyway),I had to be in charge of my life.

During pre-NYSC months, I knew I could not afford waiting for NYSC call up letter doing nothing. I designed my CV and started looking for job. Most of the companies visited demanded for NYSC discharge certificate but I later got a job with an indian company for a meagre salary (N23,000). Though the salary was poor, it was a learning experience, I used the opportunity to gather some skills.

Then came NYSC, I was posted to Rivers state (by sheer luck). I went to camp with high hope thinking PH here I come . But I was taken aback when I was told that all corpers would be posted to schools. While in camp, I learnt that some companies/banks looking for cheap labour codedly come for CVs so when that opportunity presented itselt, I submitted mine. (Some corpers never bothered coming to camp with CV and I wonder why). To cut the long story short, NYSC posted me to a school but I had my secondary assignment with a bank.

While serving, I did a 6-month professional course and was very prudent with money. Unfortunately, I lost my dad that same year. (meaning no mum, no dad)

After service, I lived on my savings for 7 months before getting a job.

Well, I could remember telling a colleague that I was home for seven months without a job, the next thing he said was," you should have gone 4 for Masters immediately". The truth is I for one couldnt do that; job comes first before Masters.


Looking back now I can say all is well that ends well.

I once worked in an indian company and the treatment was just the same. They were making huge sales but their salary was peanut. Then I just finished my university degree and was waiting to go for NYSC, I only accepted their offer of N23,000 naira monthly because I knew I would be there just for a couple of months. I used to wonder how the married ones with kids were coping cos to me the so called salary was a stipend. And to cap it all, those indians would make you work as if there is no tomorrow.

Read the story below and share your opinion?

Husband Store!
[b]A store that sells husbands has just opened, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch, You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:


Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:


Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 6,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day! [/b]



All I can say is maybe it is curiousity that keep some of them  moving from floor to floor. Other might be greed. The thought is"why settle for this level when I can get a better offer?"

You have absolutely no power in choosing your mother but choosing your wife is in your hand.

Living in fear is a terrible way of life. However, u need to carefully think through the advice your fiancee gives u, maybe she sees through somethings that is hidden to you. Is she generally a pessimist or this side of her surfaces when you want to take a bad decision? Another thing is, u said once they warn you things will definately go awry, maybe they see beyond u. How's their spiritual life? just asking.

This depends on a number of factors:

1)organisation structure/rate of promotion- some organisation has so many reporting levels while others have fewer level. In my org, with a steady rise, a Coordinator's position could be attained in  10-12years and above.

2)One common trend with development work is that people move a lot, hopping from one project to another for an higher position/pay. This could be as a resulf of the completion/life span of a project; moreso some organisations don't have the culture of retaining their staff or redeploying them to a new project. So the lucky ones who get higher positions consecutively could be coordinator in 8 years. There are cases where someone is a manager on project A but few years after accepts appointment as Program officer on Project B.

3) Size of the project/coverage: Programs vary in size; it may be nation wide, a particular zone or in specific state. Due to differences in program design, the title attached to positions vary. While a Coordinator in my org is a very high position next to Director, a Coordinator in another org may be manning just a state or coordinating a very small project.

luka1981:
then you must have been enjoying the insertion of fingers by the male doctors, lol.

That was uncalled for.

But seriously some people are not comfortable with this situation at all. I for one, but do I have a choice? There are higher number of male doctors than their  female counterpart whereas there are more female nurses. However, I cant base the overall care I will receive from a service provider on the sex of the doctor alone, other factors will come into play.

In most part of the North, more than 70% of women deliver at home, they sometimes go for antenatal a couple of times but at the end of th day, they opt for traditional birth attendants for the delivery. Although, high illiteracy level among other factors  could be easily attributed to this behaviour but most of  them claim they are not confortable with male doctors. And do u blame them, imagine someone that practically cover her hair to her toes beliving that it is HARAM for another man to see her, do u expect that same person to open up to a doctor?

@op I dont think doctors purposely detain beautiful women as you claim. There are checks and balances, even hardly will you see a doctor attending to pregnant patients alone without a female nurse, at least from what I have experienced so far. Take it easy, or else you will start suspecting your wife unnecessarily.

Wow money is good o. So people earn this big, imagine an entry level getting 11m, hmmm very very good indeed. That about what a coordinator earn in my org. But seriously, development organisations are not doing badly either although it's a rather quiet sector and you won't hear anybody mentioning them among well paying sectors, maybe it's because there are so many small NGOs that are trying to survive. Working for development agencies like UN, WHO or USAID, Global fund, DFID etc supported projects can be rewarding, although employment is sometimes tied to the lifespan of the program. Average earning of Program Officers with 1-2years is btw 4.5m-5.5m depending on the organisation but I'm sure UN and few others pay much higher.

Yes, it can work. It has worked, it is working and it will keep working once both parties decide to make it work.

oooo

Quote from edie_mafio

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Well, since you sent food and drinks to her place of work last year, you may not necessarily do same this year otherwise it may become a routine. If you insist on surprising her at her place of work, whatever you do will still end up in you getting food and drinks for them. Use another scene

Option A- Maybe a candle light dinner prepared by u, this should be set b4 she gets home from work with nice gifts sha. (you may make an order if you cant cook).

Option B- You may also organise a surprise get together at a first class restaurant with very few people preferably her close friends in attendance. After close of work ask her out for dinner and there she sees others waiting to wish her happy birthday. You may request for a special song to be played for her. (Infact you may settle for option B without inviting anyone, just the two of you)

Try to know the number of colleagues she has, get sufficient drinks, order for a beautiful cake and get a good birthday gift for her. Take them to her place of work at lunch break but you may decide to leave the gift till u get home sha. That may not be for public glare. It may be nice having a contact of her friend/colleague to help you to fine-tune it using their office insider information, she'll know how things are run better in dr org.

dustydee:
it's just the African or should I say Nigerian mentality. who says the person must be single?you can choose to have none or use your mum if you are comfortable with it?I know people who didn't use their closest friends because they felt they will be better off running around on that day putting things in order.

Well said.

Bride's maid dont do much on the D-day except fan you, hold ur gown (dat is if it's flowing), pick ur calls and do other petty things for ur convenience. Another important thing though is she'll help in picking the money sprayed on u, that is if it's an owambe party . For the money part, it may not work well using someone u dont trust with money because u cant monitor the cash u'll receive as gift. So apart from the trust aspect, she doesnt have to be ur best friend but someone trustworthy. But if u are ok with ur married friend as a bride's maid, common, you are good to go and other friends may come handy with other logistics.

I have noticed that most times, PA/Secretaries roles are stepping stones to future positions. Few people would want to continue as a PA throughout their career lifetime. Personally, wouldnt want that, maybe because I didnt set out a PA but was pulled out from Admin. Although, I enjoy working with my present boss (who is the President/CEO), he is very amiable though meticulous and I have learnt a lot working with him but I keep having this feeling that working with other people may not be that worthwhile.

I would appreciate responses from others in this career path. Do u see yourself still in this path 5,10,15years down the line or are you planning to diversify?

^^^
Why, is it unethical? cos i didnt have that infor b4. There are some technical meetings that the secretariat cannot but record. Moreso, isn't it funny to announce to all participants that a meeting is being recorded? I guess the best bet is for people to watch what they say at meetings and avoid utterances they don't want anybody to quote.

Not necessarily. I don't think this practice is carved in stone, I personally feel there is nothing wrong if u decide to use your married friend as your chief bride's maid so long she is still in shape and she agreed to take up the role. I also wanted to use my married friend but when she hinted me that she was planning to get pregnant and there is possibility of her pregnancy being obvious by then( I told her 6 months b4 the wedding), I had no choice but opted for my younger sister's friend.

Both. A set of twin- a boy and a girl, then case closed

ok, just saw your explanation now.

Why do you want to become irresponsible because of your wife's nonchalant attitude? Two wrongs don't make a right u know.  (it's only in mathematics that (-)*(-)=+    )).

You said she does not perform her responsibilities as a wife, what responsibilities are u talking about? When husbands complain abt wifely responsibility, one thing easily comes to mind. But then, you are not around her in naija, so what do u mean?

At least, one of u must get things done, if she is not forthcoming, talk to her and let her see reasons with you. For the family to retain its sanity, at least one of you must remain responsible, otherwise it will be house of commotion.