₦airaland Forum

As a Yoruba boy, i grew up with the orientation that the marital system is a sacred one in which everyone irrespective of his/her status, or belief must partake in. Also, i (perhaps as well as most of people here) was made to belief that a female is never complete without a man by her side. And that one of the essential features to look out for in an irresponsible man is 'being unmarried.'

However, with the little experiences i have seen, heard and witnessed over the years, i think the concept of marriage is seriously misconstrued and overated. Not that, marriage isn't an essential thing, but i think the beliefs that surround the marital institution is becoming stale and unbecoming.

Case 1: That every lady MUST be married at a certain age - This belief has eaten very deep into our belief system, especially among the ladies. While the dangers of late marriage can be tough on females (menopause effects), i do think it is not enough to compel any one into marrying early. Marriage is a long-term commitment that requires at least some level of maturity. You don't just get married to a guy just because you feel he spends on you. You have to at least be into him and him into you to certain depth, before you decide to spend your life with him. This typically takes time. You surely wouldn't love to get married at 23 and get kicked out by 26! It is better late, than disappointing, i guess!

Case 2 - Single parenting: I am an arvid fan of shared parenting, at least i am who i am thanks to the fact that i grew up in one. Nevertheless, i think the idea of the society castigating single parents is wrong and unfortunate. While there are some who got to become single parents due to self-inflicted troubles, i think a majority of single parents were mere victims of society-induced pressure. Take for instance, a lady that was pressured to drop a man that loved her simply because 'he was not of her tribe', for a man that was of 'similar tribe', but was and remain largely irresponsible. Such a lady will most likely prefer and perhaps be better off as a sole parent than stay in a relationship where, she won't feel secure and loved. Perhaps there is a verified stat that says kids are better groomed under shared parentage than single parentage.

Case 3 - Virginity: No doubt, abstaining from sex before marriage is something worthwhile and commendable. However, down the years, i have seen people talk about having flings with Virgins whose hymen are still intact, but have experienced every other forms of intumacy (kissing, romancing, etc etc). Are those ones any better than the ones that have been siphoned before marriage? I think personality should be the highlight of any marriage, not the couples' sexual prowess.

Case 4 - Marrying based on Love: I have read and heard numerous people try hard to define love. But all this while, i have been yet to see a single piece of coherent definition for the 'seemingly abstract word.' If love really exists, then i think it is more likely to be the connection shared between mother and child (most of the time, natural and unabridged), rather than the ones shared between couples. Irrespective of this, i think the best person to marry is not someone you supposedly 'LOVE', but that person you 'like, cherish and understand'. In short, marriage should be between best of friends and not lovers.

Case 5- That everyone MUST get married: Marriage should be a choice thing. The fact is some people are better off sharing things with other persons, while some others are simply better off being on a solo mode. The best thing to happen to any one is never getting mariage. Rather, i believe it is finding one's purpose in life, and pursuing it continuously. That's what life should be about.

©® Adediran Adedayo A.

P. S. The article is basically based on a personal opinion and do not necessarily have to be tagged as being factual or not. It is simply an opinion.

Cc Lalasticlala, Mynd44

mikkyangel:
All note 4...sold out..
Will ship some phones to n9ja today... (no spend dt money ohhh), keep them till phone es arrive.. (unbeatable prices)

*s7... (2 pieces)...blue and gold
*s6 edge
*s7 edge

Okay boss. Is Note 4 part of the phones being sent?

Boss, abeg u still get Samsung Note 4? If yes, can i proceed with the payment?

CocaineSniffer:
Tha one na yansh. . The girl no fine sef. She just get career luck with her childish lyrics . My fat dick will wreck that ass into shreds

Abeg what's your definition of matured lyrics?

DLondonboiy:
What is 30k? LOL

Even bus conductors make that everyday...

Go and buy a laptop and start yahoo.yahoo, stop fooling yourself.

U think everyone loves crime or lack conscience like yourself? Abeg, let reasonable people make tangible suggestions, not an upside-down opinion like yours

We will duly appreciate if our Egbons already in Deutschland can squeeze out of their tight schedule to come here once in a while to relate their experiences. I believe there are so many things many of us prospective students need clarifications on. And your personal experiences will go a long way in assisting us in that regard. Thanks.

Confused lots. Suddenly FFK has turned to a Biafran hero. The same man that disgraced Ojukwu by spanking his beloved Bianca . Yoruba Muslim ko, Hausa Jew ni

Gptech:
NEPA don bring light for NIPOST, make una wen 1 track begin track now because light can go at anytime.

Abeg how i fit take track on NIPOST. Anytime i try to access the tracking service, it just goes blank showing nothing except the box nd the number i pasted.

deleyi20:
What you have failed to realise is that; Those values are the reason they can achieve this feat...

Before making these statements, you should probably do a little more research about the school and understand their vision and how they intend to achieve their goals

I never said those values weren't key to their success so far. My point is for the school to become really world class (i mean achieving a top 100 globally), it will need to be a lil more liberal. Do you think the top universities and research institutes around the world will be willing to partner with a school that supposedly has stringent rules and regulations?

tifany89:
Shows your level of reasoning. If I say ur school fees has been a total waste now it will look like am insulting you. How can u compare a single event like this with the almost daily massacre that happened in southern kaduna? Dat people actually liked your comment is an indictment on the reasoning ability of the kind of people on this forum.

Where did justify the killings? The issue being discussed is the possibility of the media hyping both situations. So next time, learn to play smart by thinking smart before u quote just anyone. And never in your damn life should you quote me if you have no reasonable point to make.

Boll2010:
Sir, could you please educate me on the Singaporean style? I will appreciate if you do sir.

We have similar style already in that they also pay their political office others high salaries (including civil servants though). However, where the difference lies is that they make use of an extremely stringent penal code i.e. tough laws and sentences. They have a special Bureau (something like EFCC but totally independent) that arrest suspected individuals without a warrant and execute search and seizure orders carte blanche if there are "reasonable grounds to believe that any delay in obtaining the search warrant is likely to frustrate the object of the search". Most importantly, those found guilty of corruption usually face a 5-year jail term and up to S$100,000 ($80,000) fine.

I am really of the opinion that the Singaporean style is the way to go in this country.

Many of these governors are the reason why i am skeptical about the potentials of federalism in this country.

Blackface is trying really hard to use controversy to get back into reckoning. Well, he chose the wrong man. 2face na baba for industry.

Nice achievement. I am only against the school's strict religious values.

They might need to drop some of their extreme Christianity-themed regulations if they intend to achieve their long-term goal. They are right on path tho.

It makes perfect sense if a lady like this calls for equal rights. She has earned it. Not all these multi-color mannequins that are polluting our cyberspace daily claiming to be baby mamas and slayers.

FrankGiel:
So you think that women that were kidnapped and raped would want to be granted interview just to satisfy your curiosity??.. Do u know that they still feel shame??
Any media personnel that wants to interview the girls should wait.. FG cannot hide the girls forever.. There are chibok girls undergoing studies abroad.. If the press is so inquisitive, they can travel and get an exclusive interview with one of the girl's..

God bless you. It seems most of the other commenters are too myopic to think straight.

DozieInc:
Both media and security agencies are blowing this out of proportion

But that wasn't the case during the herdmen clashes in Southern Kaduna abi?

I laugh when peeps claim students go to Private Universities because they didn't pass Jamb. What about those that made use of special centers to secure admission into public unis? Are those ones any better?

The truth is undergraduate studies should be basically about quality and not reputation. What matters most is what the student gets to learn during his/her stay in the university. Private unis provide the enabling environment to achieve this. That to me is a vital factor.

P. S: You won't understand how horrible public unis are in Nigeria, until you have had to pass through certain schools like Lautech.

Jajaja:
Shut up. The Nigerian economy was a disaster last year under Buhari.

Hatred wouldn't allow you to know the reasons for that. Flattino for a reason.

Why is it that Igbos take their hatred for the presidency to the international media. Even before he started out, they had nothing to wish Buhari other than misfortune. So why are the self-acclaimed Biafrans crying more than the real Nigerians?

Op pls next time be wary of the caption you use. This should be "Ipobs attack CNN"!

2dugged:
and you are telling me now that poor men don't beat their wives?,when will you people realize that wife beaters have a character flaw and has got nothing to do with money,geez!. Infact, a poor man is likely to beat his wife due to money stress, frustration and is likely to get easily agitated, so Mr man enough of all this irrational theories you lots keep spewing on this forum

You don't get the point sis. Not that 'wife beaters' have a specific class or not. A wife beater can fall into any class - both rich and poor. But the fact is, many ladies see the green light before getting married to the 'supoosed wife beaters'. But a lot of them because of the benefits they derive from such men, do not drop out of the Union. Hence, the op's quote of "I must marry a rich man mentality".

Ruler2:
She is beautiful

She is yellow not beautiful in that sense. Gene is older than her, still looks very pretty. This one don even old pass her age

NoBasisForUnity:
And did Biafrans beg for your friendship. Take your message to FFK and Fayose. Tell them you want them to stop supporting Kanu because yoruba muslims don't like it.

Lol.. There is nothing like yoruba Muslims, iboman. It is just a made-up slang used by nairalanders, especially IPOBS. In reality, Yorubas are one.. We do not give in to religious sentiments like the other tribes. That's what makes us the omoluabi that we are. And as per FFK and Fayose's support for u guys, they know wetin una like and they are using it to drag ur balls.. Its just like throwing bananas to a monkey, in order to arrest it

NoBasisForUnity:
How does Biafra actualization adversely affect the yoruba nation. Please educate us?

How does Yoruba's friendship help you in securing your delusional republic? Bro, no be fight.. I just asserted my opinion based on the other comment i quoted. We are Yorubas - that comes first.

NoBasisForUnity:
A confirmation that you are doubly-faced and treacherous as other tribes know you to be. I'm thankful Nnamdi Kanu will thank FFK and Fayose for their support and still move to his mission.
Focus is key. No potential traitor needed.

Lol.. If according to you, putting our tribal interests ahead of one make-shift friendship implies being a traitor, then we will happily live with that tag.

TooNoisy:
The Igbos need to realize that the Yorubas are their friends and the Yoruba will choose Igbo over Hausa/Fulani any day.

However, the Igbos need to play their own part and they will actualize their dreams. The Igbos always want to taunt the Yoruba but the Yoruba will continue to overlook it. The Yoruba race led the struggle for Jonathan to become president. Wole Soyinka and Tunde Bakare formed the Save Nigeria group. Now the Yoruba have championed the release of Nnamdi Kanu. It was when the likes of Fayose and FFK started calling for Kanu's release that the likes of Soludo and Chidoka joined for political reasons.

But the Igbos always forget and try to stab the Yoruba at every opportunity. They forget that teaming up with the Yoruba is their only road to actualizing any dream, because the North will never trust the Igbo nation. The best bet for the Igbo nation is to team up with the Yoruba.

Where are the Igbo leaders today? They should be the ones championing for Kanu's release. They are all in Abuja trying to decamp to APC - the same party they tell their gullible followers belong to the Muslim North!!. They had to rely on FFK and Fayose. Shame on Igbo leaders.

Lol.. Yorubas and Igbos friendship? For where? FFK nd Fayose are using Nnamdi Kanu's case to their political advantage. Don't be deceived sis. Yorubas don't have any unique friends among the other tribes. We simply stay on the fence, and ally with anyone we deem beneficial at a specific time.

Eke40seven:
Note however, that Jena is not the kind of place you survive if you hope to get your funds from jobs. It is cheaper to live there though.


Well, I don't really have time, from time to time I will write a mini article on my top ten cities to study in Germany, considering the most important factors for people coming from Nigeria. The scores will be weighted and analysed.

Boss, pls don't renege on this ur promise o.

teelaw4life:
Lol...Op abeg you need to change your topic. I do the first one writing. I'm a ghost writer, written so many ebooks for people, research work and even novels.i also proof-read. The last job i executed was to write an affidavit for someone. And i tell you ehn, with the bad electricity situation in the country, i spend approx. 2k everyday on fuel. Sometimes I'm up as early as 4:30 a.m, if the light comes around that time, working. And the moment i open system there's no closing time for me because you have to meet deadline. The only thing you can say is that i don't have too much face to face interaction with clients and people apart from sundays. It's comfortable to say the least. I'm in charge of my own time and how i use it. Did i mention the pay? I was asked to proofread a 100 paged book once, wasn't even serious work as it was near perfect, got 20k for it. There was another client who'd just finished a novel and wantednit published, 90,000 words. Charged 60k for it. When it comes to writing if you're good, the job will flow and you'll get high reviews meaning more jobs and higher credibility which all translate to more money.

Boss abeg make me relate jawe. I sent u a pm

Op needs lecture i swear. So, you think writing is for the lazy minded? Lol.. Is it the composing? The proofreading? Trying to afford plagiarism? Or making the article to be seo friendly? It irks me so much when people like op wake up and conjure B. S together, all in the name of opinions. Rubbish!

This incident will most likely haunt those roommates for the rest of their lives. RIP girl.

Slippers don't need covers. Olosho