₦airaland Forum

Fingesi: sure, no mama isnt gone like that. Sure life wouldnt be good for the kids either. So are you tryna say, she's gat no love?

am trying to say maybe you should get her sobered up, get her to say the right things when she is sober and also try keep her away from alchohol. It might seem all good right now but in the long term it might have negative effects on everyone involved. Also remember that sometimes when someone is drunk we can not actually take what they say serously coz they can say a lot of things which are not real / true

this is why many ladies kill themselves doing house work for the guy and his family ( trying to impress them) only to regret later when things do not go her way. It should be her choice since she is not yet married to him and its not an obligation

Fingesi: wow, what a comment, could you share more light on this?

dude are you for real ? you mean to tell me you actually can't see what the guy is trying to say in a not so direct way? sounds to me you are a sucker for punishment

i sense a lot of pain in this thread from the poster but never write off love just because you met one person who was not for you. When it comes to real love your bank account means nothing to her. You were just at the wrong place at the wrong time. Remember not everyone is for you. You will never know when love is coming your way. Still blv in love, your soul mate is on her way

Fingesi: Lol. But lets get serious on this. Could this be Love, maybe in another dimension? If it was, I wouldnt mind opening a bar in my bunk

so you would not mind letting your future kids be raised by an alchoholic? will your mom be cool with it?

[quote author=Mynd_44]Na by force? If the girl says no, must she need to feed you some bull crap before you respect her?[/quote]wow. beautifully said

Fingesi: She only confesses her love for me when she drunk, and tells me how much she hates me if peradventure she doesnt feel tipsy anymore. Right now as I am chatting on here, we are in a very happy mode and thats because she is almost emptying a 75cl of 26% alcoholic drink. I do not want this for her. If I can get to know this lady loves me than I can invest my time to see she changes for the better.

i think you are torturing yourself. So are you going to need to get her alchohol for the rest of your lives if you want happiness in this union? hun i don't know but i think you are at the wrong place there. If a person really loves you , she don't need to be high for her to just utter what her heart feels

different strokes for different folks. If guy one wants boobs and booty, maybe guy two would like something different. I have seen many ladies who do not have this and that get the right guys for themselves. It all depends on personal taste. Just like the example about cash above. Sometimes there are ladies who want rich guys and sometimes you find a lady who is willing to grow from nothing to wealth with her man. We all differe as human, that is what makes life exciting

doll i do not think it has anything do with the chosen profession. I think it’s just character. Maybe your uncle beat your aunt because he personally was a bad dude. A civil human being will know how to distinguish between being in the army and being at home with the wife. You are an army officer at work and at home you are a husband and father r. don't try mix the 2. Maybe what your sister should be looking into is his character. Hey you can even have doctors, lawyers, and accountants etc. who are abusive, will you avoid potential spouses who are in those professions just because you know someone who was with someone who was in a similar profession but was rude? Character deary

good for her. She is just a good girl trying to do the right thing. If i were him and serous about her i would wait till she is ready then marry her but if i was not serous about her i would just move on.

Enegod: what's this one saying?!

lol. you got me cracking. I would really like to ask the same question too

Fingesi: But she always recall all she said days after and could repeat herself words exactly how she said it.

so you are trying to say that even when she is not under the influence she still says so?

sounds to me like you have an addictive behaviour / personality and in your case cheating is your addiction. The nice thing is that you have identified the problem and you seem to really want to work on it. You have tried but its still not working out. Brother i think its time for you to get outside help. Believe me seeing a Psychologist , life coach , pastor or any other person who might be in a position to assist would be good for you. Do not kill yourself over this, if you really want to stop you can.

[quote author=Chino_anyi]yea am tinkin of talkin 2 one of her uncle wen nxt he comes by, butwat I don't get in all dis too s dat her own father s alive n knos wat s hapenin[/quote]i do not think talking to the uncle is a good idea. What if he is aware of this already then you get into trouble with your landlord?

my friend with aids is still my friend. Just because he's got hiv , it does not mean its the end. Atleast he would have been honest enough to protect me. We would take precautions and protect ourselves. I do not mind even adopting babies but its so nice now because an hiv parent can have a biological child without exposing the child to the Disease . I would continue and love him the best way i know how. I know so many people who have lived with HIV for a very long time and are leading healthy happy life styles. I know this topic brings so much fear to peaople but fear is just a mental thing.What would you do if you married a guy who did not have aids, then a few years into the marriage he makes a mistake, cheats with someone who infects him then comes back and passes it on to you? would you kill yourself? and hun never say never coz no one knows tomorrow. Atleast ask those who got the disease being marriage themselves.

[quote author=Atheist:-D]Yeah, yeah, she is back in the village now and her parents dont seem to pleased too. It cost me some coin and the creep is still skulking around her. It is only a matter of time before it happens again.[/quote]why not take her far from the place? I have realised that sometimes you just have to be far from the distractions if you really want to make a difference in your life. Even moving so far and starting a new life because now all your had work will be in vain since you say there is no doubt that it might happen again. She can come back once she is older and stronger

[quote author=Atheist:-D]Why not just stop doing things that force you to lie. If you have to lie about it then it cant be good right [/quote]I know. you are right ofcourse. I have worked so hard on my charactor to try and avoid trouble in the future but the unfortunate part is that the past will always haunt you. I will not let the past destroy my future. I will do whatever it takes. I will fight till the last drop of my blood. and if lying will be part of the fight, so be it

[quote author=Atheist:-D]I actually had to step in to save one myself. I dont know if I made the right move but I had to do something.[/quote]do not doubt that you did the right move or not. You saved a soul. It starts with just 1 person. Remember that it takes the whole village to raise an African child. If my house is on fire today, its better you step in and assist because no one knows tomorrow. Its just a pity that we lv in a continent with very little resources. These kids need and deserve our help

[quote author=Atheist:-D]It takes the strongest to survive such.[/quote]and its just a pitty because this is not just a story. If we would all be honest and dig deep, we would actualy realise that we know a few who have been in similar situations. Things like this and child marriage really break my heart because you can just imagine where this fragile vulnarable little soul will be in 25 years to come

[quote author=Atheist:-D]Precisely, the next time the mother will lock the door and she will be ra.ped. It might already have happened. Then with no cds and she might even get HIV. This is a really sad world. Why doesnt the mother sell her own booty [/quote]That is why most woman end up wasting their youth. Because of the mother, this girl can even think that its better to have sugar daddies or men who will sponsor her. This is the reason why most woman when they age, they become alone, broke and bitter. Your past can make or break your future

[quote author=Atheist:-D]Precisely, the next time the mother will lock the door and she will be ra.ped. It might already have happened. Then with no cds and she might even get HIV. This is a really sad world. Why doesnt the mother sell her own booty [/quote]Yep. HIV, low self esteem, no self worth, trauma, might not even want to see herself challenge life. This can paralise a person for life.

[quote author=Atheist:-D]So what if she is 18+. Dont 18+ women get raped? Why should we stand by and watch such a sad act?

@OP try and find some of her relatives, probe them to see if they are aware fo this and if they can intervene. be delicate about this. If not then you have a real tough task ahead of you. You might have to take her in for a short period. Find a way to help her if you can at no discomfort to yourself of course.[/quote]i am in support of what you are saying. Its just a pitty that some of our sisters have to face such situations and i know for most they are real. Far from being just a thread . I wish the UN can do more in AFRICA. The land of pain and sorrow

[quote author=Atheist:-D]I have been lied to before... I didnt find it funny when the truth came out. The truth can come out in the most unexpected circumstances. And when it does, you will have to face up to your actions. By not lying and by being truthful and honest, we are forced to act decent and thereby improving our character. But that is for another day.

Just try not to lie too much [/quote]i will try but i can't promise. I even lied now this morning . I do not regret it though because if i didn't lie, i would have lost my all. I made sure that i cover my tracks afterwards and will always make sure that myloved ones are protected. Nomatter how many lies i have to tell. Its my job to protect them and am not gona lie and say i will not do it again because if given a chance again, i would not change a single thing.

[quote author=Atheist:-D]smh

That is not a good statement you made. Surely you dont believe that.[/quote]No Ath. As a matter of fact, i would rather somebody lies to me instead of hurting me. I would rather lie to my loved ones too instead of hurting them. Sometimes lies protect us

[quote author=Atheist:-D]So it is not wrong to lie... just wrong to get caught [/quote]Remember the song '' lie to me''? Sometimes the truth can damage some situations. Lies are necessary in life. But just need evaluation.

[quote author=Atheist:-D]So it is not wrong to lie... just wrong to get caught [/quote]you got it sugar

[quote author=Atheist:-D]So when your hussy asks you how many bfs you have had... what will you tell him [/quote]lies ofcourse. Only because it will not be easy to catch me out on that one. If you are going to lie in life, there secrete is to lie about things which you know very well that they will not be found out. Remember taht trust is everything in a relationship and evaluate your lies very well

i am so tired of speaking English in a relationship. Have been doing that all my life and now i am sure that i meet a man who speaks my native so now phewwwww i speak our native language and i am loving it. I would say we use English only 95% of the time and for me that is out of choice. Somehow i feel connected when we use our native language. I do not want to speak English again in a relationship. I am tired of that

i do not think it has anything to do with her star sign. It might be that she has been hurt before so she build this wall to protect herself or simple, she is just not that much into you

i would be worried about the other things she might have lied about and it would be hard for me to blv anything she says again

m sorry i can't