₦airaland Forum

you go to Europe or American for 3 months and u come back with bleanch skin ..when we ask wat happened .you say it's the whether ...my friend do u know how long ..Akon , lil Wayne ,pogba, have been there ..pls fear God..

Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of them kept complaining of family problems. Finally, the other man said: “You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation: “A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter. We got married and I got myself a stepdaughter. Later, my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter, my step-mother. And my father became my stepson. Also, my wife became mother-in- law of her father-in-law. Much later, the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son. This boy was my half-brother because he was my father’s son. But he was also the son of my wife’s daughter which made him my wife’s grandson. That made me the grandfather of my half- brother. This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the half-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the grandmother. This makes my father, the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father’s wife, I am my stepmother’s brother-in- law, my wife is her own child’s aunt, my son is my father’s nephew and I am my OWN GRANDFATHER

Dear Parents/Guardians,

The exams are over and school is almost out for the second term of academic year.

Your children will bring reports home this week. I know you are all really anxious for your child to do well.

What's the meaning of "doing well?"

Please do remember, amongst the children who sat for the exams, is an Artist, who doesn't need to understand Maths.

There's an Entrepreneur, who doesn't care about History or English literature.

There's a Musician, whose Chemistry marks won't matter.

There's a Sportsperson, whose physical fitness is more important than Physics.

If your child does get top marks then great. But, if he or she doesn't, please don't take away their self- confidence and dignity from them.

Tell them it's ok, it was just an exam. They are cut out for much bigger things in life.

Tell them, no matter what they score, you love them and will not judge them.

Please do this and if you do, watch your children conquer the world. One exam or a 90% marks won't take away their dreams and talent.

And please do not think that doctors and engineers are the only happy people in the world.

Be happy for them when they come home with those reports this week. Encourage them to do better. Motivate those who were not successful. There's beauty in going back and giving it another shot. Don't judge them. They expect of you, their mother, their father, most of all to understand and to still believe in them.

Failing a grade can never make your children failures. Their destinies lie locked up in far greater things.
It is well with all our Children.

how much for the hot note

How come I've never seen the baby Daddy or I'd the baby fly come from heaven

*Why Do Banks connect ropes to pens...we trust them with our Money and yet they fail to trust us with just a common pen* � �

Pizza is N4,500 & a bag of Cement is N2,600
U see how girls are busy eating ur Mansion guys? Everything is not village people o����

I*Agbo Jedi koro lenu eh bi Ewuro Burtu Sperm dun Lenu eh bi Yoghurt#Quantinue#*

We live in a country where the governors, senators, Judiciary and even the President blames the government..

Please who exactly is the government?

���������

It's only in Africa, immediately you say hi to a girl, Boom! her phone screen will break, her data will finish and if you mistakenly say "I love you" my brother you become her father automatically.���

When a gal introduce her boyfriend to her friends White gals: wow he's cute Nigerian gals: tell him we are hungry

If it was Yoruba people that invented the ATM Machine ehn,
And u used ur left hand to withdraw the money, the machine would retract the money, hiss and show you *"Insufficient Home Training"������������

Is better u keep silent, because anything u say will be used against u in the court of law "move it"
That's the only English Nigerian police can speak fluently ����

*Stupid is when you have a "LAND ROVER + LAND CRUISER, and you still have a "LAND LORD"...........u deserved to be "LANDED" a dirty Slap*

��������

*Stupidity is when u feel headache and instead of buying Panadol,you use the money to buy airtym and log in to facebook and post "Am feeling headache"with 57 others just to get comments like "get well soon","sorry guy's",,your foolishness is beyond repair����� I wish Judas sold people like you��������*

Dear primary school tisha, the home work you're giving our children is too plenty.

Kilode gan! Do you know what a typical Lagos parent's day is like?

The pains of going through horrible traffic every day and when you get home, you realized there is no "NEPA", you quickly jump on the next okada to buy fuel for the generator.

On getting home, you pull gene o! Generator did not gree, until you clean plug and become sweaty.

Then generator starts and everyone is happy.

Mummy then rushes to cook dinner while every one goes to freshen up.

After everyone has eaten, you ask Junior; "Junior! Do you have home work?" .

"Yes mummy."

By this time daddy is already fast asleep.

Junior brings in the home work and you're almost getting into fits.

Junior tisha told junior to write 1- 500!

Whaaaaat!!! @9pm!!!

"Is your tisha not a Nigerian ni?".

Dear Lagos tisha, this is punishment fa! Kuku kee me!

Please junior will be coming to school tommorow and we can only write 1-5.

Junior is yawning already and mummy is tired fa!

Sebi you're the one with the teaching talent...

Remember, your reward is still in heaven and ayam not struggling it with you.

Bear with us, I understand you love Junior and so you will continue from where we stopped.

Please don't kee me!

My tisha didn't kee my mother!!! ���

You think say break-up between boyfriend and girlfriend na im dey pain pass? have u ever been separated from the person u are about to copy answer from in an examination hall�����

We get to understand in episode 11 that master is a very powerful bring to be able to track with her gift and even heal herself

towards the end of episode 11 if u can remember when Ankara said it too late does that means that Pilgrim will kill the Master

*CHARLES RANDOM JOKES* ���

1. *Some Girls Will Turn You Into Moses. She Will Let You See The Promise Land But Bruh, She Ain't Gonna Let You Enter*
*Wickedness....*��
���*


2. *"It's really painful when you know you're a virgin but people don't believe you just because you have one kid"*
� � �


3. Its only in NIGERIA UNIVERSITIES that you will hear *"Madam, how much is that hundred naira bread"*?♨
Chai����


4. Last night I prayed hard and
asked God to remove all the fake things in my life...

*"Boom next morning I can’t find my shoes & some Jean��*

1. Nigerian parents can never apologize, they will just come back and act nice. They be like
"Chika! Come and check this cloth maybe it will size you"�

2. Some girls will brag that they can cook...
Until you tell them to cook beans, the pot will look like where beans are having a pool party��

3. She paid you a visit and drank 6 bottles of beer & 1 full bottle of dry gin without getting drunk.... My brother, offer her kolanut & 4 white fowls coz you are dating your Ancestors����������

4. People can be so wicked ehhh...!!!
How can you say short people can hear ancestors gossiping underground..
���


5. So somebody cannot leave a church groupchat again?
Try leaving and a sister will just inbox you like "Bro Charles, why've you left the Lord"?? �����

6. Dating an Edo girl is just like dating the Chief Priest of a village shrine... You will have to appease the gods if you want to quit.
Lemmi run before they break my head �������

7. You have 10 shirts, 8 is adieu mama.
So if somebody did not die, you won't buy shirt abi��
"Snake swallow you there"

8. You did blood money and you are still stingy.
Blood that is not even your own
Where's that Fried Thunder??����

9. I just read the story of a man who sold his kidney to sponsor his daughter's education, at the end the girl committed suicide because of her boyfriend.
May the land of the dead reject her spirit.����

10. Instead of killing for money rituals
Just catch a snake and train it very well.... then send it to jamb office.....
Voom...���
2019 is your Year��

11. If you're happy with one girlfriend, imagine having 10? Happiness weee just kill you die���

12. Do you realize that when you're madly in love, even insults sounds like birthday wishes?����

13. You will be praying for your sugar daddy to remember you, his wife will be praying for him to forget you�
You people are just confusing the innocent man's soul���

14. Life is very funny: When Government finds minerals in your yard, the minerals belong to the government, but when the same government finds marijuana in your yard then it belongs to you..

15. Not everyone who checks up on you actually Cares..some want to confirm if their witchcraft worked.���.

16. Why do some girls think it's cool to remove a guy's cap from his head and playfully run around with it...?��‍�If I remove your wig from your head and playfully run around with it, would you still find it funny? � #Mtcheeeew!!

*CHARLES RANDOM JOKES* ���

1. *Some Girls Will Turn You Into Moses. She Will Let You See The Promise Land But Bruh, She Ain't Gonna Let You Enter*
*Wickedness....*��
���*


2. *"It's really painful when you know you're a virgin but people don't believe you just because you have one kid"*
� � �


3. Its only in NIGERIA UNIVERSITIES that you will hear *"Madam, how much is that hundred naira bread"*?♨
Chai����


4. Last night I prayed hard and
asked God to remove all the fake things in my life...

*"Boom next morning I can’t find my shoes & some Jean��*

Join me to thank God. I saved a life today. I asked someone how will you feel if I give you N500,000.
He replied Oga I go die o.
So I kept my money and saved his life. ����

��9ja reporters be like "I'm currently here with Mr Ikechukwu Akunne" Mr Ikechukwu Akunne, can u pls kindly tell us your name? �

GUY: Babe I really want U 2 be mine . Girl: Lol! I have a boyfriend sorry. . Guy: Goalposts have keeper but strikers Always score. . Girl: Lol! U look like a defender in this one then. . Guy: Sergio Ramos is a defender but He has scored in 2 champions league finals. . Girl: Whatever Dude! Besides my boyfriend is tall and rich!. . Guy: Manuel Neuer is 6'4 but Messi still chipped Him. . Girl: Lol! But U know that Messi is richer than Manuel Neuer right? . Guy: Sure I know but Messi isn't taller dan Him, so that is 1 - 1 and that was all Barcelona needed to oust Chelsea and move on to win the champions league that year. So? . Girl: U never give up do U? . Guy: Chile kept playing for 99 years before they went in to win the copa America. And then won it back to back.. So? . Girl: Lol! This your knowledge of soccer will really take U places. . Guy: Lol, surely will and the next destination is your heart. . Girl: Dont even try it I will just block U . Guy: In 2006 Petr Cech tried blocking Stephen Hunt from scoring, Cech ended up hurting Himself. . Girl: Loool! U are a genius, call me I'll be free this weekend!!!. With FOOTBALL anything is possible

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How much

Before you get serious with a girl , take her to the club to see how many guys know her . *If the bouncer hugs her , run away my brother* �����������