₦airaland Forum

Just because some modern day Africans dress and play music different from Arabs doesn't reduce the fact that Africa was invaded by the Arabs hence the evolution of North/East Africa.

Understand the power of evolution and adaptation. Ancient Africans weren't practicing Christianity nor Islam before the Oyinbo/Arab invasion.

Think about it.

acidtalk: When it comes to hearing people ho dated for several years (some up to 10years) with both the male and female's family members as well as friends all hoping and looking forward for the couples to tie the knot only for them to come up with tales of "incompatibility" issues and stories.

Stories of ladies (and sometimes guys) committing suicide due to breakup of relationship that lasted many several years only got ended when marriage talks where in progress.

The question is, why do so many years of courtship end up with excuses of incompatibility issues just before marriage.

If this people could date for years at what point did they decide they can't marry based on compatibility issues.

To some people...why buy the cow when you can get the milk free.
To some people...they want to have their cake and eat it too.
To some people...they are not into the person and often time is the last resort.
To some people...marriage isn't necessary for them and it is just a piece of paper.

camrygmail: I have been very silent on NL these days. but when I read MS. CHIMA's post a few days ago. i was like

I have read many insentive comments on NL and I have several times had to remind myself that everyone has a right to their opinion.

I am not sure what Ms.Chima's intention's were, and i can not say for certain that she has read all the pages on this this thread.

but her comment about "some of us are made to have children" is totally offensive to any woman with fertility issues. who are you to classify women as such. so in other words you are one of the women who is able to have children.


I thank God for beign God and that His word can only be final. because if man was to decide my case, they would have classified me as one who was not supposed to have children. I am blessed and thankfull to God for the opportunity to TTC and finally have a bundle of Joy to testify that all women are created by God to be fruitful.

On the other hand i am african- yoruba- and I never shyed away from adopting. my parents were foster parents to several children while growing up in Nigeria even after God bless them with children and they did not TTC. I am saying adoption is not only for TTC. Mrs Chima can convince Mr Chima to adopt or become a foster parent. but saying that some women are meant to have children makes my skin crawl and makes me think of highly you consider yourself and not how God bless you with the opporutnity to be a mother.

I rarely vex but this one vex me o.

You obviously don't know me. If I didn't have any children nor couldn't have any children...I will still maintain that not everyone can have children or shouldn't have children..I also stated that it applies to people who also can have children. I do not see why people are getting defensive when it applies to[size=22pt] EVERYONE.[/size]

You are right...people have rights to their opinion and people should also respect that everything isn't about them as well. Would it be better if I told a lie saying that everyone is MEANT TO HAVE CHILDREN It is also offensive to tell people who can have children that they aren't meant to have children as well. You did not think that was offensive....why are you selective

It is also good to be objective when reading opinions that may differs from yours.

Blendy77: You might just have to retrieve the statement that some people are not meant to have children. Nobody is meant not to have children and if you have then go and thank God for you and I want to believe you have people either in your family or friends around you who are also suffering from either primary or secondary infertility. I was wondering why your hubby doesnt want you to adopt. You might also want to share his reasons with us cos its obvious he still wouldnt have allowed you to adopt even if you're among those who are not meant to have children. If you also read most of my mails, you would have also read where I wrote about adoption and surrogacy as last resort so coming here to tell us about adoption is not what we already dont know.
finally, all the ladies on this forum are Nigerians so since you're well grounded about adoption, let the relevant authorities know like I said that their process is too rigorous and fustrating for the few that want to consider adoption. I was actually expecting to hear you alreday adopted so since you dont have the nerves to adopt alongside with your biological children, please leave those that want to have their biological kids alone, dont come and tell us what we already dont know. Thank God for u, the best you can do is either to encourage those seeking ivf or read our posts in silence but coming here to say some people are not meant to have their own but receive is very harsh of you.

Yes, I know some people personally that is going through infertility issues and I have said the exact same thing to them. Some of them are opting for adoption and some of them will continue procedures.

My husband's reason for not adopting is we are able to have children and at this time adoption isn't in the books for him.

SincereMind: This woman sef... Is this the reason they gave your husband in your local hospital? Mchewww...

@Op, I think they hand it over to the father
1. the mother, as at that time, isnt in a stable condition to dispose it off
2. different beliefs attached to the disposal... You can call it superstition... We have many of such...

Bite me!

bendazum: Are you for real?Check topic and then check your comment.

You check my comment.

oviasouth: mrs chima, i feel shocked with ur statement that sme are meant to ve children and others r nt? which category do u belong to? to ve am sure.d yearning to ve a biological child when u can not is nt easy to explain. its easy for others to simply say y nt adopt. do u knw d feeling of having smone dat is frm u? i say ladies, try evry thing u can to ve ur baby. if it is impossible after all then u can adopt if u wish.we ttc ladies know wat we go through. and also d vaccum in our hearts which i knw God will feel by making it happen for us.pple shld'nt just drop stupid statements dat will nt b as easy if they r in others shoes. babydust to all mothers expecting.

One more thing....encouraging and supporting adoption is not a stupid statement...it is a reality that many have came to accept. It is not about you. There are millions of women and men who can't have children of their own but they have learned to accept reality and found other ways to become parents they have always wanted to be.

No..I am not in your shoe however there are other things that have happened in my life that I had to learned to accept reality for what it is. Getting upset will not change anything but increase your blood pressure. There are other things that people are going through not necessarily infertility issues but other things...so consideration for others goes BOTH WAYS.

People spend time wallowing in their misery that they forget that other people have miseries as well. It may not be similar but it is still misery. Some of us learned to adapt, modify, and seek a different route to our happiness.

Blendy77: Mrs Chima, can you tell us how easy it is to adopt in Nigeria and particularly Lagos state. The last time I checked, its not as easy as you sound here. There are people who submitted their application letters over 2-3years now and they are yet to get approval. I submitted my own letter at Alausa since September last year and up till now I havent been invited even for interview cos according to them people submitted their application letters earlier than mine and they also havent been invited. Except the adoption you are refering to here is the illegal one done in the East where babies are sold for 300k and above. Because the stress and fustration encountered by trying to adopt legally has made a lot people to go through the illegal way and that accounts for the increase in so many illegal homes where teenage pregant girls are harboured and kept till delivery.
So before you start telling us about adoption and how some people are made to have children while others are not (don"t know where you got that from anyway), please advise the authorities involved in adoption to make the process easy for couples who are genuinely interested in adopting and can afford to take care of the babies. If you think adoption is a taboo in Africa then you havent done your homework properly because you need to visit these ministry to ascertain the number of application letters they receive in a month not to talk of a year. not only Lagos, please go round to other states like Delta and Rivers because the Delta state government recently gave out over 80 babies and the PRO of that ministry said they receive an average of 10,000 applications a year. It was all over the news so do your research well my sister.

My statement about adoption has nothing to do with Nigeria. I suggest you read and research my previous comment minus getting defensive. My statement was about supporting adoption and encouraging people that the boat doesn't stop at infertility..there are other options and adoption is one of them.

Don't take it personal.

oviasouth: mrs chima, i feel shocked with ur statement that sme are meant to ve children and others r nt? which category do u belong to? to ve am sure.d yearning to ve a biological child when u can not is nt easy to explain. its easy for others to simply say y nt adopt. do u knw d feeling of having smone dat is frm u? i say ladies, try evry thing u can to ve ur baby. if it is impossible after all then u can adopt if u wish.we ttc ladies know wat we go through. and also d vaccum in our hearts which i knw God will feel by making it happen for us.pple shld'nt just drop stupid statements dat will nt b as easy if they r in others shoes. babydust to all mothers expecting.

My bluntness have it good and bad sides....I wasn't my intention to upset anyone that is trying to conceive. I am just speaking the reality of the world we live in. It is unfortunate that we have some people that can have children and can't have children. However, some people will never be able to conceive and the point of the origin relating to adoption was to give adults the opportunity to raise children that aren't biologically theirs.

Having a child of your own doesn't mean that you are fit to be a parent and adopting someone's child doesn't make you less of a parent. I am a strong advocate of adoption because there are millions of children without parents and the world is overpopulated. If I could convince my husband to accept adoption I would have adopted some children myself because I believe we can change the world with one or two child at a time.

I know it is against the African community not to adopt children because then it question the fertility ability and trigger unfathomable shame. Once we are one with God...we see the bigger picture and it is not always about us.

I am not exactly sure how adoption works in Nigeria but I am sure that many children without parents would love to have parent that cares and love them unconditionally. Maybe that is a subject that Nigerian citizens need to address with their political party encouraging public adoption with strict regulation of course. Many children are taken and sold into sex and slavery.

I know it can be difficult to face reality that you may not be able to conceive a child...but know that God made all things good. Trust in HIM and he will direct your happiness.

MsDarkSkin: time, date, and location of the exchange!

What am I gon tell Chima?!!!

He ain't never raised his hands to me but I think this will get me an arsewhooping!

Kirinwa: I'll like to know the opinion of Ladies here about marrying a gay.He's got great looks,a fat bank account running into millions of dollars,has power and connection but weakness is he loves bleeping men.Will you marry him?

Yu asked if I can marry a gay man for love...no, I wouldn't. When you get married...there are certain expectations regarding marriage...children, sex, and unity.

How can I knowingly marry a gay man knowing it is possible that I may not have children, sex, and having to accept sharing my kondo wiht another man

If we are in Africa and they catch my husband with another man...he is dead. How can I survive off a dead man

White men rocks!

FlowerPower: Initially I was shaking my head, but then I said why should I stand in the way of him getting a nice 'aunty' for himself.

Awww. True love.

sunshine70: Thank you for being excused,happy for that.

You are welcome.

agiboma: Well said

Winks.

MsDarkSkin: All this baby talk makes me want one. Lol

You can have mine.

[quote author=linda_1]thanks but they not white lol [/quote]Looks White to me. You are welcome.

MsDarkSkin: Lol i wouldnt want to be nigerian no offence.

Ooooh..you are wrong for that.

TerryCarr: mixed

They are still White.

Those White babies are adorable.

Omo Alata: I gave him the last breastmilk on his 2nd birthday. After suckling, I said, "happy birthday son, say goodbye to the bosom". He's been screaming and crying for it but I was knackered ojare

Now hubby is not happy because he has to get up with him in the night

My boobs are now my own. Sexy bras here I come

Congratulations.

LMAO@this nigga still harping on African look.

ezeagu: Climate. The reason why people wear sarongs and bras on Miami beach, is the same reason why people are topless in the equatorial forest.

Bless your heart. It is hard to speak sense to dummies huh?

You have to understand common sense is no longer common these days.

MsDarkSkin: Interesting thread. Im not african but if i were to choose countries that i think would be interesting to be part of..

For me it would be kenya, cameroon or niger.

I know the economies are doodoo but they are exotic places.

There is a documentary...Two African Men. It is about their experience coming from Kenya to America learning about the American culture before going back home to Kenya as part of their "walkabout". They brought the crew to their village and toured the wilderness it was literally milk and honey.

The guy said the air is so fresh that if he can eat air...he would have the cleanest digestive system eating air.

MsDarkSkin:

lol you're mean!

i guess she was twerking that belly!

Yeah! I was like wtf.

kokoye: There you go.

Low pro ho with a big juicy butt who can make pretty babies ..and switches NL men more than J Lo switches engagement rings.

Meen! ..I'm good..check out my rhymes

And you are my broke love-vendor.

sunshine70: ....I didint say you said that...I said many here say so !!! and I also said sorry for refering to the wrong person.

You are excused.

sunshine70: Sunshine here... Havent drinked anything but coffee.I was on break at work and read the wrong name..sorry.
But its a fact anyway : I feel that many here thinks that most of us white women are old,fat and ugly ( and stupid )
Im a STRONG and PROUD woman in sweden.We can be that here to and im married to a naija man.Have beeen married now soon 5 years...
I just say that be careful with rasism.Its everywhere even by your people.Its all around the world.:Love dont choose colour.
By the way should I say that we are all created from God.He have made heaven and earth !!

Again...where on this thread did I say White women are stupid, ugly, and fat Although..there are many but I didn't mentioned anything about what you accused me of.


Oh by the way...I [size=22pt]chose[/size] to love and marry a Black man.

kokoye: So...who are you in love with ...now?

So far SAFO. I am still screening the next winner.

MsDarkSkin: Lol chima is fo0l.

Why I gotta be all that heffa?

Many Black Americans aren't of Igbo descent and they should focus on knowing the family history for their children sake.

Angola (breathtaking habitation)