MrTAnonymous's Posts
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 Jokes Etc › Re: Fun Time With Mr.T-Season 2 by MrTAnonymous(op): 6:37pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
A man goes to court to sue his wife that she is not faithful. Surprising enough the judge was Naughty Ashnaam. Naughty Ashnaam: Madam canu defend yourself? Madam: Ok first of all my husband here is a poor man.so in the morning when i leave home for work i take a taxi.since i have no money topay,the driver gives me an option.He says "madam,are you paying me or what?". Then i take the "or what" option. When i go to hospital since i don't have money to pay my bill the doctor asks me "Are you paying the bill or what?" and i go for the "or what option".Last week our son was kidnapped and they asked me "Madam are you giving us the ransom or what?" then i chose the "or what" option.That is how i became unfaithful to my husband" The judge(Naughty Ashnaam)looks at her and asks... Naughty Ashnaam: Madam areyou now ready to lose the case OR WHAT? |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Fun Time With Mr.T-Season 2 by MrTAnonymous(op): 6:33pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
A man was carrying a bag of money, and was walkin around Igbudu Market in Warri, When a thief suddenly wanted to snatch d bag frm him, not knowin dat d man was holdin d bag tightly. The man and d thief were strugglin&dragging d bag when a police man came,arrested them & took them to d Police Station. OFFICER: (shoutin) Who get dis bag? MAN: Officer, I'm d owner. THIEF: Oga, no mind dis man o, d bag na my own. MAN: Since he's draggin it, letme go home & get d reciept 2show dat I'm d owner. OFFICER: OK,I give u 30min. THE OFFICER AND THE THIEF WAITED FOR MORE THAN 3HOURS THE MAN DIDN'T RETURN,SO D THIEF STARTED COMPLAININ . THIEF: Officer,u see now,d man don discharge,I tell u say d bag na my own, shey udon believe me now? OFFICER: Yes,u say it but I nofit just give u like dat,B4 I go giv am 2u,I must know wetin dey inside. Oya open make we see. AS THEY OPENED D BAG, THEY SAW A HUMAN HEAD INSIDE. OFFICER: JESUS! Oboy so u beogboni? E don red for u 2day . . Ur own don finish . . Uno buy form but u don gain admission into Kirikiri Maximum . . THIEF: (Crying) Aha! Officer, no be me get d bag o, I Just dey pass o!. . |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Fun Time With Mr.T-Season 2 by MrTAnonymous(op): 6:32pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
A secretary receives an expensive pen from her boss as a birthday present. Later on, she sends a text to her boss to thank him. The boss' wife read the text, became furious & packed out. The boss was puzzled. He couldn't understand why until he took his time to read his secretary's text: "Thanks boss. Your peni.s wonderful"! |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Fun Time With Mr.T-Season 2 by MrTAnonymous(op): 6:30pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
For a long time Akpos has been battling with a leak in his roof. One night there was a very heavy down pour, he had to move from one corner of his house to the other to avoid drops from his roof. This made him have sleepless night. The next morning he decidedto fix his roof, after scouting for ladder in his neighbourhood, he tried to climb to the roof. Climbing wasn't easy, he panted and sweated but successfullyclimbed to the roof, as he was about to fix the damage, he heard a knock on his door. He yelled from the top of his voice; "who is that?" A tattered looking beggar showed up at the ground and said,"excuse me, can I see u?" Akpos asked "what is it you want to tell me?" The beggar said,"just spare me one minute". Akpos climbed back to the ground, looking tired and asked "what can I do for you?" The beggar said "can u give me N20?" Akpos thought for a while and said "FOLLOW ME". The two of them started climbing to the roof, panting and gasping for breath, they got to the roof, after panting for one minute Akpos turned to the beggar and said "I DON'THAVE" |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Fun Time With Mr.T-Season 2 by MrTAnonymous(op): 6:29pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
During church service this 16 year old pastor's daughter stood up and says "Praise the Lord". Everybody shouted"Halleluyah" She continued "since the tender age of 13 I've been experiencing monthly period with so much pain but now after a series of Bible studies and prayers with Bro. Odunayo, our Sunday school teacher in his house, my monthly periods have ceased for more than 3 months now, no more painful menstruating. You can see I'm even getting fatter and prettier. Praise the Lord!" #the pastor fainted instantly# |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Fun Time With Mr.T-Season 2 by MrTAnonymous(op): 6:11pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
A pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "Little Johnny, why has your schoolwork been so poor lately?" ... "I'm in love." little johnny replied. Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?" "With you!" he said. "But Johnny," she said gently, "don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday.But I don't want a child." "Oh, don't worry," replied johnny reassuringly, "I'll use a condom!" |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Fun Time With Mr.T-Season 2 by MrTAnonymous(op): 6:10pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
Let's Argue This Two men were arguing about their sons’ stupidity. Mr. James argued that his son was sillier than Okello's son. Okello however disagreed, so they decided to put their sons to test. James called his son & askedhim to buy something for him at the market. The boy ran tothe market without even asking for what to buy & money. James said," you see how silly he is? He didn't even ask for what to buy or money” Mr. Okello retorted, is this what u call foolishness? Just wait & see, Okello calls his son & tells him, “go home & check if I am in the house” Okello’s son took to his heels & came back panting,"Papa you are not there inthe house, Mama said you are at your friend’s place. Friends let’s end this argument, whose son is MORE FOOLISH? Okello’s son or James' son? |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Fun Time With Mr.T-Season 2 by MrTAnonymous(op): 6:00pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
Wife: Darling our housemaid is Pregant!.. Husband: That's her problem. Wife: But I am worried! Husband: That's your problem. Wife: The Neighbours are talking.. Husband: That's their problem! Wife: They're saying it's yourpregnancy! Husband: That's my problem! |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Fun Time With Mr.T-Season 2 by MrTAnonymous(op): 5:59pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
[COUPLE SILENT IN BED] Wife thinks: Why is he not talking to me? Is he thinking of another woman? Does he like someone else? Is he seeing someone? Don't I appeal to him anymore? Are wrinkles showing on my face? Is he trying to dump me? Is he now finding me ugly? Have I put on weight at the wrong places? Does my make up repel him these days? Is he upset with my nagging? WHY IS HE UPSET?!? [What the Husband is realy thinking :-] Why on earth did Wenger release Van Persie to Man United?!? WENGER MUST GO!!! |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Fun Time With Mr.T-Season 2 by MrTAnonymous(op): 5:58pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
Akpors and his Teacher One day a techer fell asleep in class, akpors went to him and said ''teacher, are you sleeping?'' ''no!!'', the teacher replied. Then akpors asked,''what are you doing then?'' ''i am talking to God'', replied the teacher. Then the next day, akpors fell asleep as well. The teacher went to him and said "akpors, are you sleeping in my class?" "No!" replied akpors. "What are you doing then?" asked the teacher. "i am talking to God as well", said akpors. The angry teacher shouted, "what did your God say  ?" then akporssaid, "He said he never talked to you yesterday. |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Fun Time With Mr.T-Season 2 by MrTAnonymous(op): 5:58pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
Feeling Bored ? Wondering what to do ? Simple.. 1. Open the Zip 2. Insert ur Hand. 3. Slowly take out. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pen & Paper from Bag & write “I LOVE YOU MOM & DAD” 1001 Times!  Dirty Mind:O  =D |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Fun Time With Mr.T-Season 2 by MrTAnonymous(op): 5:56pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
Akpos was inside a bus goin to his village when he suddenly realised dat d purse containin all his money was missin. Somebody had piked it frm his pocket. He luked around d bus, everybody was calm, well seated and enjoyin d ride. Thinkin of to do, within som few seconds an idea struck his mind... Makin sure dat everybody in d bus hear him, he said: somebody stole my pulse frm my pocket. People in d bus: no answer. Akpos continued: i said somebody piked my purse containin my money frm my pocket. People in the bus (lukin at him): stil no answer. Akpos: if d person dat stole my pulse did nt want what hapen in 1994 to repeat itsef now, d person should own up now. People in the Bus: now everybody lukin at each oda. Some murmurin among themselves. Akpos: i said what hapen in 1994 wil repeat itself now if d thief did nt return my pulse. People in the bus: now everybody were serios. Som askin within themselves what hapen in 1994. And even odas are beginnin to suspect Akpos as a native doctor or a wizard. Within a minute, Akpos saw his pulse on floor of d bus. Unknwn persn had threw it there. Akpos piked his pulse and chek his money. Then comfirmin d amount to his satisfaction. The people in d bus were amazed, how they wish they could realy knw what hapen in 1994 . One teenager, a very beautiful girl with a glasses approached Akpos were he was sitin and asked him that he would like toknw what hapen in 1994. Akpos luked at her, smiled and said: in1994 i was in d bus like dis and they stole my money. I walked from town to home.. How many like for Akpos |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Fun Time With Mr.T-Season 2 by MrTAnonymous(op): 5:55pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
AKPORS IN RESTAURANT. Customer: There is a dead cockroach in my soap. Akpors: ofcourse its dead. Were u expetin it to be alive in dat hot soup? Akpors is lukin 4 anoda job wit a swollen mouth. |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Fun Time With Mr.T-Season 2 by MrTAnonymous(op): 5:51pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
A fat man heard that there is a new machine which detects weight of people so he went to the health facility to check his weight. AT 1st a lady checked her's and the machine said 60k . ANOTHER MAN went and was also 60kg now it was the fat mans turn and when the fat man stood on the machine ,the machine screamed ''one person at a time' |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Fun Time With Mr.T-Season 2 by MrTAnonymous(op): 5:48pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
Don't say I didn't hook u up with some of my other frnds. Messi :2741069F. Ronaldo: 26E13B28 Obama: 23AB87E1 Aliko Dangote: 296D4955 Mike Adenuga: 22D419EC Tony Elumelu: 23G2361F David Beckham: 366FB571 Beyonce: 28521D2B Bill Clinton : 285A852F Bill Gates: 28631276 Rihanna: 2352FD47 Boko Haram: 29D83FB Don't bother to thank me, What are friends for? :*. |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Fun Time With Mr.T-Season 2 by MrTAnonymous(op): 5:45pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
Akpors stuck his head into a barber's shop and asked,"How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said,"About 2 hours." Akpors left. A few days later the same Akpors stuck his head in thedoor and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around atthe shop and said, "About 3 hours." Akpors left. A week later, Akpors stuck his head in the shop and asked,"How long before Ican get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour only." Akpors left. The barber turned to a friend and said, "Kelveen, please do me a favor, follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long hehas to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn’t ever come back". A little while later, Kelveen returned to the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asked, "So where does that guy go whenever he leaves here?" Kelveen looked up, with tears in his eyes and said,"To your wife at home." |
| Jokes Etc › Re: I Discovered He Was An Albino... by MrTAnonymous(m): 4:32pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
nne3870: nt get me angry oh I fit castrate you join. Nwa mkpiisaac,I hope u understand d last sentence, CASTRATE. |
| Jokes Etc › Re: I Discovered He Was An Albino... by MrTAnonymous(m): 4:29pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
Isaactop9: Dont knw wat to call u a racist or wat ....now,dis is d joke. Lolz 1 Like |
| Literature › Re: My Life::::**** by MrTAnonymous(m): 3:44pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
Pool ke?don't die nau |
| Politics › Re: Gunmen Invade Birnin Gwari Township In Kaduna State by MrTAnonymous(op): 2:10pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
obxddon: For me I think its high time the sourtherners,epecially the Igbo race came together as one and have a common front...buy there own guns,have their own explosives and also prepare very well....These bastard notherners cannot continue to fustrate our lives...Lets Divide joor.....dat is d truth my guy,if it was dis tym dat Ojukwu stood up,I'm so sure he would succeed coz then ppl didn't really understand what Ojukwu was upto,they thought he wanted to rule bt nw ppl esp. d southerners nw understand what Ojukwu was afta then. Although,I'm a yoruba guy,apart 4rm Awolowo,I think Ojukwu is d 2nd greatest leader dat has ever lived in Nigeria. |
| Jokes Etc › Re: I Discovered He Was An Albino... by MrTAnonymous(m): 12:40pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
nne3870: Helooooohy |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Chinwetalu Agu's Hilarious Sayings!!! by MrTAnonymous(m): 12:31pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
Igbo thread! |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Promo! Promo!! Promo!!! by MrTAnonymous(m): 12:29pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
realsammie: promo! promo!! promo!!!lol |
| Jokes Etc › Re: True Facts 'bout Akpors by MrTAnonymous(m): 12:25pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
Nice collection |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Oga And Gate Man by MrTAnonymous(m): 12:22pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
Nice thread,nice joke |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Valentine Special by MrTAnonymous(m): 12:16pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
bashy_demy: Valentine died for lovei second dis motion. |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Awkward Moment by MrTAnonymous(m): 12:14pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
Dat akward moment when you login to Nairaland only to discover that u've been banned |
| Jokes Etc › Re: I Discovered He Was An Albino... by MrTAnonymous(m): 12:09pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
nne3870: How am I sure you're not another albino? Pls let me recover from one abeg |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Beer Vs Vga #interesting by MrTAnonymous(m): 12:07pm On Jan 31, 2013 |
fluid26: I have never seen vga before, so I can't make any comparisons! |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Top 10 Failures Of Oluwaseun Osewa; Owner Of Nairaland. by MrTAnonymous(m): 11:39am On Jan 31, 2013 |
bin gbagbo: 1. inability to create a common "poll " button. did he forget or he no know?tanx bin,i've always wanted 2 voice out,bt i'm afraid of been banned d 2nd tym. I only hope he doesn't ban me and u and also close dwn dis thread. Bt wait 0,who b d mod 4 romance sec. |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Akpos And His Wife by MrTAnonymous(m): 11:31am On Jan 31, 2013 |
ekenedegreat: One day,Akpos lodged in a hotel wit a lovepeddler,dey had a good time wit each other. As dey were about to dress up, Nepa took d light mistakenly akpos went and put on d lovepeddler's panties thinking it was his boxer and the lovepeddler did d same because it was late in d evening so d room was dark. later he went home to his wife, after dinner they(akpos & d wife) went to d room and his wife was all over him demanding 4 sex, as she pulled akpos trousers behold she saw d panties. immediately she demanded 4 explanation akpos said honey is not wat u tink u see i bought dis panties 4 u so i decided to taste it 2 knw if it is going 2 fit u.Best Joke For The Month Of January! I laff sote i piss 4 bed! Guy,pls keep it up,I laughed for d first tym dis month in dis boring joke section. |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Please Help With This Question by MrTAnonymous(m): 11:27am On Jan 31, 2013 |
kemtol: ego (money) must be there.Approved! |
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