₦airaland Forum

ojoe88:
u are a fool

Young man judging from your profile pic, I am old enough to be your mother!
You see apparently all the flogging your parents gave you never helped make a decent young man out of you.

My kid`s would never ever talk like that, not even to a child.
Now put your tail between your legs and hush off

Gosh the standard of education these days! Young kid`s that cannot even read and think objectively.

A child belongs to a village. I agree.

The laws in Nigeria and all over the world are the same.
It is a criminal offense to beat them.

Now for all of you praising the OP. Just answer one question. He beat them for one single act he caught them doing. What has he achieved?

Pain for an instance, probably hitting on naked children- which is perverse.

But what has he achieved- the kid`s will be more careful about hiding it in the future.
He cannot go to their home and monitor them.

You should rather be angry with the OP for not telling the parents. It is only the parents that can be able to control it effectively. Even probably sending one of to boarding school or a relation.
However he has left the kid`s exposed to the dangers of this abomination. I wonder how many times they have committed the same offence since then.

Now to you crowd that want to raise the village- ask him to go and tell the parents. Then you are contributing to the raising of the children.
Hailing him for flogging the children is not the right approach.

As a parent I would be mad at you for not telling me at once. He should have done that.
What those children did would have been criminal if they were adults. But the OP has committed more than two crimes.
- beating children
- beating them naked.
- aiding and abating and concealing an offence.

So you see the OP neglected his actual duty, which was to report the kid`s and went into doing something he was not meant to do.

Remember I never said that the kid`s did not deserve a beating and certainly they would have gotten a good trashing from their parents.
Yet I also believe that it was the neglect of their parental duties that led to that.

And finally a little bit in my own affair.
For those calling me a child. I would like you to know that I my first son is 31 and in a very good job. My next two are studying in elite uni`s and the rest are coming up.
I am a very strict mother but also one with heart. I command respect from my children and high moral standards but I do not need to beat them into it.
raising black kid`s in Europe, keeping them off the streets and down to earth, off drugs, alcohol and so much more is a very difficult task. If my method has worked out for my kid`s then it cannot be so bad.

Now I have had several African kid`s stay with me, the longest was for two years. Many of them run to me when they have conflicts with their parents and want to leave home and get housed by the authorities. Some are even brought to me by the authorities

When they come to me I put them up and listen to them, I explain to them why their parents are so strict and I also help the parents to understand the children and how the feel.
See what I want you to understand is not that I am doing some kind of charity- certainly not! I love kid`S and always have an open door and ear for them.
I just want you to understand that many parents are loosing their kid`s because they cannot find the healthy balance for bringing up kid`s that are growing up in the conditions exciting today. The african way ! the african way! and then the kid`s are away!

espn:
before man nd GOD can u swear with ur entire life and the future dat remains unknown that u haven't flogged someone who is not kid before?

Yes I can swear I have never done that and you better believe it. However I have spoken and scolded them where they did wrong. Praised them when the did something good.

uplawal:
so you too do despicable thing,the mouth you use to glorify God then you still use it to gather the dirtiest thing,very impure to God.ote author=mutter post=30644121]

Why throat infection?
Probably healthier than kissing.

So what are you getting at. Quite honestly it never ceases to amaze me thhe amount of internet stalking going on here
Well please yourself.
So my question was purely health related and aI was actually hoping for a qualified answer from someone in the medical field.
Just wanted to know if more infections can be transmitted from the mouth than from there.

Besides the bible says it is not what goes into a mans mouth but what comes out that condemns him.

fr3do:
Tufiakwa! You paint inccest in such a mild light.
Do not attribute such an abominable act to curiosity.

Please stop getting emotional and read what I wrote properly.

I said not sex and at a much younger age.

Children are curious. They see they have different body parts and might even try touching. It is then the duty of the parents to clear them up.

For instance a little girl, say the age of 4 sees her baby brother naked and notices he is different. She might even try touching him there. That is not an abomination but the child just needs to be cleared up.
I was just making the point that a natural curiosity in early childhood was not observed and controlled by the parents thus it led to this abominable act.
It is the work of parents to clear their children up. Do not touch, do not allow to touch etc.

I hope you now understand what I mean.

firstEVA:
pls don't say what you don't know, a marriage certificate cannot be issued twice, she can only get a CTC

Sorry you are right. In Nigeria you only get a CTC. It has been a long time, how could I forget. I got one myself.
In some countries, for important documents like birth certificate and marriage certificate you get an original again.

freecocoa:
Please I'm not in the mood to entertain any rubbish, so I'll leave you with these few words. Swallow all the sperm you can and take whatever you are subjected to, in the name of saving a hopeless marriage, that's your beeswax, just be sensible enough to realize that, not every woman lacks self respect/worth.

come back and take your transport fare

Toktee:
what do you me by "he has no right to flog them?
With that statement i knw that you are a teanager,grow up

How I wish I could be a kid again
You would need to spend the whole night and more turning back the hands of time.

He has no right to flog them because they are not his kid`s. The kid`s are not under his care. He is not related to them in any way.

No matter what they did there is no justification.

This jungle justice approach is barbaric.

obowunmi:
Not abusing you dear.

Here you are bragging about a husband who doesn't talk to you. Not abusing you, just saying it's not normal.

You appear to be confident about accepting abusive behavior and it shows in your responses.

You know that is the way you see it. What do I need with a man who rattles on none stop and just talks allot of crap or lies.

My husband is not a many of many words but steadfast as a rock.

We don`t have secrets we share all our experiences yet he does not talk much.

What is wrong with that. Quite honestly sometimes I wish he would talk a bit more but much better than a man that talks none stop.. But then my husband would never talk ill of anyone or let you do the same. You just can`t gossip either

harry509:
ummmmM! Na wa oh ntn man pikin nu go here 4 dis nairabet nope I mean nairaland slf. Well ask ur hubby if he can suck ur kitten, if no. Try 2 make him udastnd dat both of u Rr husband n wife, dis is nt boyfrnd or galfrnd tin. There Rr oda ways u can prove ur love 4 him. By cookn delicious meal, kiss him, romance him and bring good gist. Most importantly put him in 2 d hand of GOD. And also try 2 chck his fone if he has bluefilm on it bcus I blv say na dos bluefilm wey he day watch cos am... badt guy

This advise has been repeated here but do you really think that she will allow the man go down on her?

That could be very embarrassing for some women. What if he says yes and then she does not want it. That will worsen the situation because she now has two things she does not like.

nairalife2013:
I av always thot I was a daan genius! Hom com I kno nothin abt d story ofd birds n d bees?! Pls, in my 2yr old dota's voice "Woh eetit aba o!"

Birds lay eggs, bees carry pollen to the flowers. An easy way o explaining to children.
Today the expression "the birds and the bees talk" meands this talk on how papa and mama make a baby.

olamilekside2:
*smile* ok maa but, put to practiced?

No comment

Anything that gives my husband pleasure, gives me pleasure

freecocoa:
How can people be advising her to do it to save her marriage? Which useless marriage? I mean, who wants to be in a marriage where they will be forced to do crazy things? Like someone's life depends on marriage, fvck marriage, marriage my black nyash.

Not surprising most women say the same but when we sit in corners and confide in one another then truths come out that leave me
T

You had no right to flog them.

You should report them to their parents immediately. They are responsible for the children and need to know.
If they believe it or not is no longer your problem.

For God`s sake don`t go asking their teacher or anyone else. That is wrong because the kid`s are not in your care.
You know I was just trying to imagine you catching them and flogging them there. It is a perverse picture,

This kind of thinks happens among siblings, it actually occurs at a much younger age- not sex but the curiosity about each others bodies.

That it developed into this is because there was neglect and lack of parental care.

I once called my son at ten and started trying to tell him the story of the birds and the bees!

Trying to be diplomatic. H gave me this bored look and told me he already knew everything.

At that age they already know more than you can imagine. So they need to be informed and cleared up, especially about the hazards.

yettyfad:
xo because she loves d husband dats means she shuld ve throat infections

Why throat infection?
Probably healthier than kissing.

olamilekside2:
hmmmmmmmmm , EXPERTTTTT

eeehmmmm I was told

loistee:
Thanks dearie better person.

Don`t mention!
They will issue you with a new original.

jadelyn007:
You should thank you stars you took the right step of extracting yourself from the situation.

Anyway I don't see myself in that extreme situation when my brothers are still alive the man would be the one thanking his stars if he gets out of the marriage without telltale scars.

I guess you didn't have a very supportive family that's why.

The family also played a role.
My mum was in a comma for years and my dad was busy trying to pick up his life. I did not even want to add to his problems. My siblings were no longer in the country. My dads family was pretty small and very educated, I just think that they could not start anything with the situation.
When I eventually told my family, my grandfather who was the head of the family said I should come home. They said I was not equipped to deal with the marriage.
What made them take that decision was also because he kept bringing charms and other strange objects into the house. -Amongst others some leather wrapping tied with a red rope and when you un fold it, it was full of bloody daggers

jadelyn007:
Ma'am please pardon me for this question I want to ask but I believe we are all here to learn and also express ourselves so I hope you will oblige me with an answer.

You seem to be a very good natured simple woman even tho I don't agree with all of your ideas, now here's my confusion;

For someone as good natured as u, perfect wife material(nairaland guys will agree with me) and I also believe all these advise you give women on nairaland you put it to practice, how come your first marriage still didn't work

Really it scares me that you could be the perfect wife and yet What hopes do my strong-willed self have then

I am still looking for the answer to that question.
I was young, full of life and grown up in the east with a german mother. I am not claiming my parents were madly in love but I had a different idea of love and marriage.
He was older grew up in the north, a polygamous home and the youngest, the bread winner of the family. He was the only one with any education in the familly and his family had a great influence on him. Perhaps he was under that pressure.
However that does not explain all the terrible things he did. I asked his other wife`s after me if he ever did that and they all told me he never hit them or tried to dominate them that way but he was constantly comparing them to me. At the end he just grew cold and distanced himself from them. He was also very cruel to them but he never really hit them.
Perhaps because they all came from the same place and their families were influential there.
He keeps apologizing and tells me till today he was jazzed but that is just a ridiculous argument.

jnrbayano:
Does that mean you are oblivious of this before you married him?

You need to be in it to realise just how important it is.

Just like haveing a child.
You feel the joy and pain of being a parent but the older the child get`s the more you become aware of what it means to be a parent.

Flytefalls:
This post reminds me of the snobbery that exists among women belonging to the natural hair movement . So much judgement!



Time to go home I think

I think so too because hairs seem to be growing out of every pore you have.

Nothing to do with snobbery but being black and proud!
Do no have the urge to look "white".

That the choice of a partner is probably thee most important decision you might make in your life.

That patience and tolerance are the main ingredient that have to be cooked in love and respect.

Jackeeh:
Sorry Sis. I can only imagine what you're going through. First off don't, and I repeat, don't report your man to anyone. You will further embarass him and make matters worse. Also don't take advice from NL gals who tell you they will never swallow milk. Sister believe me; they have done worse. And most of them(if not all) are still single. Your man has a sexual fantasy he hid from you. He should have told you buh he didn't. So let's not cry over spilled milk. Talking about spilled milk, your man's "spilled milk" isn't poison. Swallowing it won't kill you. It actually contains protein blah blah blah. Some tips to help you : have some chewing gum or sweet in your mouth when you're giving him a bj( e.g tom tom). When he spills, instead of dwelling on d taste, just gulp down the stuff as fast as possible. In other words, swallow it at once. Don't delay. If he still insists you swallow, you can also hold the tip of your nose tight while you swallow. Hmmmmmm all these just for semen. Odiegwu!!! Well, what am I trying to say here? Save your marriage. Do all you can to save your marriage. The day he meets another lady who can swallow not only spilled milk but the joystick + balls, no amount of prayers will bring him back to you. And I won't be surprised if that "other woman" turns out to be one of these ones shouting, God forbid! I can't do it!!! Mtchwwwwww. At least your life isn't in danger. He's not hitting you. Finally whether u choose to swallow or not, protect your marriage at all cost.

You said it all.
Many women just will not be honest with you and will even go much further.
What he wants from you is actually within the "normal category". I am also sure he is not going to stand there and watch you swallow every drop.
He probably got irritated because you choked and spat it out. There is a discreet way of spiting it out without the man noticing.

soulglo:
I don't think it is a matter of being scared. It's more of the logical approach. Why should I feel pain when I do not have to? I don't understand why the pain part has to be experienced? What does it add to anything. Does it ensure that the child is healthier? Does it make the woman stay sexy forever? I mean what is so important about the pain? Also most women feel the pain before epidural. For many they have already labored for a while before they get it. No one wants to give you epidural when you're not at a reasonably progressed stage of labor. So it's not like you get it when you are 5 months pregnant pending when labor kicks in. Labor has already begun and in many cases pushing is near before epidural comes. I just don't understand how the pain of pushing the baby out and feeling your vagina being cut by a scalpel adds anything to my womanhood.

This pain is different from other pain.
It announces the coming of a child.
the first contractions are shorter and not so painful. As the contractions get intense, the stomach tightens up more you get excited because the baby is almost there. There is no pain in between the contractions. Then at the end you can be active pushing the baby out yourself. Feel it passing through , feel the relief when the baby pups out and the pain is gone completely.

Be able to yell at the kids and tell them how you suffered to bring them to the world

My dear I honestly believe that your husband loves you but it doess appear he has a problem.

Self -pity

You see we are so used to using this word that it has become harmless and indeed a bit of self pity does one good but
Pity for oneself; especially exaggerated or self-indulgent pity where you believe that you are the victim who has done no wrong and is deserving of condolence from everyone.
Self-pity is the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is v addictive and easily becomes chronic.
You end up pitying yourself and believing you have done no wrong and someone else is responsible for you problems. You also loose thouch with reality of the situation.

This is also one condition that is largely ignored and most people would never admit the have this problem.

I think you need to observe it more and ask an expert, he might need help.

I can understand that most women are scared. Most women now shy away from a natural birth because of the pain and there is no point trying to convince anyone otherwise.
If you cannot approach a birth as a natural process you are bound to stiffen up and have so much pain.

I had all my children natural and I never had to scream or yell and throw myself around, like you see in the movies and films

Another advantage of a natural birth is that your movement is not restricted. I like walking around, squatting or even entering a bath tub.

I think that most women are scared by what the hear and see and that frightens them. You need to inform yourself more about natural births. In some countries it is an occasion and the whole family is in attendance for a home birth.

You can go to the marriage registry and they will issue you a new one.

obowunmi:
Mutter is an abused woman. Shouldn't surprise you. Can't believe any human being with a brain would take her advice.

Obowunmi how observant of you!

So I need to Management you up with more details so you can broadcast them a bit more.
I was in an abusive marriage. I left my husband finally on the 2nd of June 1995.
Came to Germany and started a new life with my kid`s. Got married again three years later.

I am a survive and I am so proud of myself.
Also so grateful to God.

God has showered me with so many blessings.
A saint of a husband that loves me and the kid`s.
Lovely kid`s even though they can be challenging too!
Happiness and peace of mind...

When you and some others make such comments you remind me that I once was married to someone as inhuman as the comments you make and it gives me every reason to be grateful to God.

So please next time you see some stupid thing I wrote feel free to leave your comments.
You see, I have no bitterness in my heart for anything or anyone because there is not enough time for the good things in life.

and because

Hating is like drinking a poison and waiting for the other person to die

and because I know that people only turn to insults and violence when they lack reason or are frustrated.

Have a nice day

Stay away from fake pastors. It is written even in the bible.

What really led to all these insults here

OP how old is your husband and has he been sick recently?

Many men become less active with age and with some men it sets in faster. It is something you have to talk about honestly and reach a compromise. When the man is under pressure to perform and when he thinks he might not be able to satisfy you then it gets even worse.

On the other hand maybe there is no problem at all.

But i have to ask you , do you just lie there and fall asleep.
I would have raped my husband after a few days

Even if she really is happily married- it isn`t over till it`s over.

The woman a fool to accept that man back. That man is not a responsible man.
He hurt her and the other lady.

What about the child- is it being happily parented.