₦airaland Forum

Sorry I do not mean to offend you but you are an ungrateful young man!

Did you ever bother to find out why your mother left you years back. She probably never had a choice! She was forced to take that decision.
Yet she came back and guaranteed you a university education abroad.
As soon as you have a first degree her obligation is finished towards you! She has ensured that you have a good background and you can build on that to reach the peak.

Did you ask her how she cope with the other kid`s she has.
Do you not realise she might be under another man , that makes it difficult. She might have other issues.

You better shake your self back to thinking right.

Show some respect and appreciation.!

If you were so principled, you would never even have accepted studying abroad.

Poor woman, the prayer of every woman is that the child will one day dry her tears. Instead you are making her to cry blood .
I hope you get moved to go look up your mum and beg for forgiveness.
Show her love and you will get love in return.!

Every where in the world a woman has more respec when she is married.
This aso goes for men- They have more respect when they are married.

In Nigeria a man also has more respect when he is married. A family man is seen as more responsible and more maure.
This is also so in the western world.

Some things never change!

Because from the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.
As a girl yo loved your father and always felt protected by him.
It is a great gift to marry a man ho makes you feel loved and protected just the way you felt with your dad.
In such cases it comes naturally and the woman just starts calling the husband daddy.

I can`t see these pictures any more. I am so upset.
We will never forgive and we will never forget.
I cease to see all blacks as my brothers and sisters!

Fela you did not get it quite right-
These are BEASTS in human skins!
If you were alive oday, you would sing a song to make the world remember and never forget.!

-Respect and tolerance a all times and in all situations.
-Never kill the dreams of your spouse but help to keep them alive and make them come true.
-In all things at all times show love.
-Do not put every issue on a scale to weigh who is right or wrong.
- Accept your in laws as your family.

Undiluted beauty: Happy birthday Mum.
Thank you Princess for appreciating your mum. May God bless you and give you children that will appreciate you.

KanwuliaJara:
The lady is suffering from severe psychosis!
The alleged sexual abuse did not prevent her from having 4 kids abi?

Oya KONTINU!

Should she now be condemned to a living hell on earth because she is/ was a victim of abuse. Most victims end up having families but the pain and nightmares remain.

She should confront him and expose him. That will also make others aware and able to prevent other children from getting hurt like she was.
Such people never get cured some learn to control it.
However if she cannot deal with confronting him she better let it be.
The most important thing is he needs to understand that she was a victim. she had no blame and she has nothing to be ashamed of.
Mostly it is the society that goes on to end the abuse that the abuser started, by condemning the vctim.

I think your friend should start looking for something else. Someone that does that will do even more in the future. Shaing appartment can only work out if each person respects the privacy and rights of the other.
In this case the other person has greatly abused the situation and there is more to come.
Remember allot of things can irritate you when you share, like leaving everything lying around.
It is difficult to move out and costs money but worth it at the end of the day.

My dear when you get older you will understand why it is so.
You know how in the western world people talk of breakfast in bed.
It is a special service you render your parents, husband or children to let them know how much you love and regard them.

When you do it for our dad it feels his heart with joy. As he watches you he is blessing you. He is also remembering all his labour on earth and comforting himself that it was not in vain.

It is very symbolic giving your father food, then you are privileged. Many kids are not opportuned to have one to serve.
Please in future ask him when he needs his food do not wait for him to ask you to bring it. Take time out to serve him his good and give him water to drink and wash his hands. So you amass blessings for yourself.
Remember that a father never feels he is something special because he is being served by his child. He only feels that he is in safe hands when he grows old and fragile.

If it turns her on then so be it.
Even in the western world we have that too!

Man up to your responsibilities.
You walked on the beach and now you ask us if you left footprints in the sand LOL

Tell her you love her and will always be there for her. There is nothing a mother desires more.

Nothing wrong with that. t the end of the day it depends on the offer he gets and if it is worth the move.
Any man who wants to achieve may be confronted with suc a decision. As a good wie you should support him to make wise decisions that will benefit the family.

In my next life I am coming as a man.
Is it not amazing how insignificant a child can be to a man.
A man can be expecting one child and planning to marry another woman.
A man does not need to care for a child.

The dark skinn girl is just as pretty. Make up and hair do and lets see what she looks like.

Rug contain allot of dust and are really unhygienic. Also no good if the children have asthma or allergy.

Your husband needed to be told.
However it was wrong of the doctor to go back on the agreement. however he probably did not imagine it would end up that way.
anyway your husbands status needs to be made known to you.
It might be that your husband has it too and is now using attack as a form of defense.

A bouncer is actually ideal when they get a bit older. Even if you don`t bounce them in it they can actually look around and that in a comfortable position. A rocker is more for younger ones.
However be careful not to rock too hard!

As a mother of many kid`s I would like to advice you to get your baby to get used to sleeping without all these gadgets and without too much walking around or rocking. That way they get used to it and you spare yourself sleepless nights. When my babies woke up in the night, I only used a very deem light, fed them , changed them, winded them and put them back in bed. That way i had peaceful nights.

Also there is nothing as beneficial for a child like backing- kangarooing. The child is close to the mum and it does a great deal for the hip bones and legs of the baby. In Europe most enlightened mothers buy an expensive cloth and actually take classes to learn how to carry a baby.

We have the best things right at our doorstep and yet would rather waste money buying gadgets that don`t really bring much.

God how and what do you start teaching kid`s at that tender age.
MY five year old runs out of the bathroom naked and does not even know that there is something that should be hidden
I keep telling her to use a towel or robe. She puts it on but somewhere along the line it is thrown of and she stands there naked again.
I wonder where the world is heading to.
The kids must have been exposed to their parents doing that or to the TV and were playing mum and dad.
How could the teacher anticipate such a thing:

:
Dey form oyibo, dey knock before you enter your kids' room.
One day, e go happen for your eye. African environment and Oyibo own, no be the same.
He who has ears, let them hear.

Nothing oyibo about it but being decent!

How do I teach my kid`s to know they have a right to privacy and respect?
By practicing it.
Now that does not mean that I do it all the time.
If I ask you to do your homework, I will certainly open the door very quietly to see if you are at it. Or badge in when I suspect something.
But generally I knock and I advice you to do the same.

Besides Abeg mak the thing happen for my eye make I see am, better pass say dey tell me later say na so de thin happen.

You are even luckier than most women.

The hidden truth is that many women do not even climax at all during S--.
Many pretend to but actually don`t.
Many women that climax do not do so from penetration but from touch.
So all you need is to be properly stimulated before the act.

Also S-- is very much a thing of he mind and not just the body. Nothing wrong with your body it is your mind.
You need to be familiar with your partner and very comfortable with him.

It might surprise you that the man you climaxed with could even have been someone you did not find appealing or even disgusted you. It really is strange what sometimes arouses a man or the woman and it can be anything from decent to indecent.
That is why you need to get your mind under control and then the body will move along with it.

freecocoa:
I don't recall us having that kinda relationship, besides, I do the dirty talking if there has to be any.

You should not be entering her room at all, especially when the parents are not there.
I don`t even let my boys enter my girls room without knocking and waiting to be asked in- vice versa too.
I also knock before I enter their rooms.
That is the right thing to do.

I talk very honestly with my kid`s about such things because I want to know what is going on and to be able to advice.
If you told me you caught my kid doing that I would be angry that you invaded their privacy- it is their room.
What that girl did is normal. When a girl is no circumsised she gets aroused easily and she needs to come to terms with her body and know how to control it.
She is not harming anyone not even herself. It only becomes an issue if she does it rampantly. Sometimes what you forbid children is what they crave for the most. One has to explain it in a matured way to them.

Besides most women and men do the same.

KanwuliaJara:
Welcome to open marriage part 2!

OP'm?
I don't think you are using your head at full capacity.
WHAT ARE YOU SACRIFICING?

The only thing I can see being sacrificed "wisdom"!

According to you oooooooh. . . . . . .

1. The spark has fizzzzzzled(if there was any spark in the first place? I think not!)
2. You can't stand the separation, even when the dude is clearly enjoying the separation.
3. You are seeking advice from the 'misery love company' in the same group to console yourself that things will get better?
4. You want to give up your financial/professional independence for a man who cannot do the same(what makes you think the dude will prefer to come over to the UK to work in factories because of LOVE?)

Separation in marriage can only survive in the latter stages of marriage. . . .AFTER A GOOD SOLID 10 YEARS OR MORE. . . . .After the foundation has been built on commitment, if not love and respect.

I doubt the marriage will have any future even if you choose to move closer to be with your husband or vice versa. 3 years of marriage and living like strangers?

Sounds like a marriage 'by force' or 'convenience'!

Na which kain marriage be dis?


Lis





I don put 'mutt' o. . . . .

Agree totally with the above.

Something telly you it might be wrong and you better listen to that voice.

In Nigeria there is no social security. No way you can survive if the man kicks you out and you do not have a job.

An influential man can even take your kid`s from you and kick you out. Nothing you can do about it.
You will be very dependent on him. At his mercy.
That is not good for a healthy relationship.

Nigerian marriages are very much family marriages and if yo don`t have a family it can be hell.

It could work out but it could be hell.

Your Landlord has every right to ask you to leave.
You told him you were leaving and it is possible he has re rented the place. He might even have signed a new contract.

He can`t just throw you out- but nothing is not possible in Nigeria.

The option he gave you the first time was very fair. For you to pay one months rent or let the agents show the place to possible tenants.
Your forced your way on him without any compromise.
Now you need to go back to your Landlord and seek a compromise. You can sub- let the place when you move out.
Alternatively you may be able to present the Landlord with someone responsible who is willing to rent the place immediately you leave

AwesomelyMade:
You wrote trash here. Pls think well next time before you render advise. a female for that matter. Mtchewww

When people have nothing to say they stoop tpo insults.

For someone that does not believe in law and order and a functional system, this may be trash.

naijainfogalery:
If u don't wanna kill the child's morale start telling the child immediately he can talk , start by telling the child how great the mum was . show the child her pics oftenthe child will grow into it and become stronger. The child won't even feel it cos its been part of him/her but if the child gets to a teen age and u tell that child. In his face that's betrayal u kept the trutj from him/her and it would be worse if the child now gets this info outside .

This is the right and humane thing to do.!

It is well with his soul.
Requiescat In Pace

This woman never knew you would go abroad when she gave you your heart.
You want her respect then make her your wife.
You need to respect her by putting that ring on her finger.

Let me point out some things to you.

Before you were paying a very high price for her- love and devotion.
Now you have turned yourself into a golden goose and you think your money is enough,
Take a good look at yourself. You have changed since you started left Nigeria. You have changed since you started having money.

Furthermore your family now now is on you for money. I live abroad too, so I know how it is. They want money from you. They don`t like the idea that you are giving her money. This is a general problem men abroad have but you don`t want to handle it well.

Why has she started comparing her child?

Because you are doing the same and you an your family are paying that child against her.
She has a son and normally every woman in her situation knows she has nothing to fear.
Look deep and search your mind. The problem is coming from you.

Your mother is standing in the way of your happiness. I am a grandmother and I was there with the mother when she gave birth. I know how I supported the girl at that time.
This poor girl even went to beg your mother and kneel down. Yet your mother was still hard.
You better know what is going on and act like a man.
A son raised without a father hardly ends up well.
Go along with the marriage and the respect will come.
This girl has not lost respect for you - she is hurt and bitter.
You need to show her love and affection like in the olden days. Then you will see her as a loving woman she once was.

Do not throw away a good thing out of arrogance with your new found "wealth".

Please come home and marry the girl.

Your mother is not helping things at all.
You have to settle this problem now that it can still be settled.
You want to leave her and make a third baby with a third mother?
Do the right thing.
So much good advice has been given to you already.

Please remove this here immediately
this is sick and very wrong. Even to circulate it is wrong.

Let the young girls have their fun!
I find it cute.
If you can afford it why not.
Just hope other ladies don`t see this and start putting pressure on their husbands.