₦airaland Forum

Why did he marry her in the first place.
One think for sure is that some boys didn't grow up to be men.
You need to establish authority to be able to exercise it.

Tell your mother. She deserves to know.
You shouldn't handle what is meant for a parent to handle.

Wierd.

Begging is becoming kind of like scaming.. One has to be careful.
I remember whe. Covid started and some private teachers were out of work and no salary.
One pleaded online for money, said her salary was 10 000 N. I sent her her 25 000 or more monthly only for her to write me after 2 weeks of receiving the last amount that she feels like commuting sucide, she had no gas to cook...
That was where I quit.
Another one was pregnant.
I promised to foot all the bills and did.
I was also pregnant and had to go back to work a few weeks after, when I asked her why she couldn't even call once to thank me after giving birth, she said she had to spend 3 months without leaving her home.
Yet I could to work and send her the money.

I will put you in my prayers.
God is capable.

So cute.

Some women even contribute more than 50 if the circumstances call for it..
A marriage is about being one and being there for one another.
What would the woman be doing with her money of it doosent go into her children and husband?

Thank God for her.
God bless everyone that made this possible.

That's men for you.
Some become extra nice when they cheat.
Once you notice any change positive or negative be on the alert.

This is sad and very irresponsible.

There is something that is still being whispered but it's becomming more and more common.
Young men, also Nigerian men prostitution in Europe.

For as little as even 5 to 10 Euro they Service their clients, often having several clients a day.
Thier clients are mostly men.
It's a sad development indeed.

I had to restrict this to over 18 because of content.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mF6zyOTplc8

This is a real problem in our societ.
We put pressure on people who are already desperate.
A woman can do allot of desperate things to get pregnant.

lilyheaven:


How old is he?

He just turned 9.

What can make a 29 year ond shoot hisother several times and leave her dead!
Very sad and shocking. The mother has a masters and taught in a primary and middle school. The father is a professor at a university.
Aoarantly the other kids were living with the father in Pensilvenia.
The children have set up a gofundme... Is the husband not involved in the funeral?
Some people just hustle for better life but let us hustle for the good of our children.
Poor family. May her soul find peace.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-y3avOXeIRs

Live up to your responsibility!

Sometimes we focus allot on the negative traits and forget to make effort to make the marriage work.
When a relationship is strained the man is hardly willing to discuss his plans with her.
Since the man hasn't asked her to leave and is not abusive she has a good chance to make it work.
Let her start showing love all over again.
That is the secret of a long and such marriage.
Welcome him home with a smile. Cook his favorite meal. Show him she is happy to see him. Shower him with love and she will see things change. Make the bedroom a one in a lifetime experience for him.
Some women just serve the same dish every night. She should use her imagination.
Most men respond positively when showered with love and care.
After making a breakthrough with the man she should make effort with his people to build a good relationship.

That's human nature... Sometimes when things go wrong we look for the most easy person to blame.
You have some real good advice here on the thread.
Please sit down with her and explain to her she needs to look for the source.
Also in a very loving way she should question the child.
Don't question the child yourself it might look like you are intimidating him.
Futhermore, the child might have even seen got it from the parents.

It depends on the child.
Some children need the closeness to the parents longer than others.
My last son is autistic and has phases when he wants to sleep with me weeks on end because he is scared of nightmares.
There comes a time children get uncomfortable with it and they don't want to any longer.
Recently my son told me I should go sleep with my husband, he is my son.
That is a clear indication that the time has come...

Unfortunately some men these days never really aquired the skills of heading a family.
They don't lay down a clear direction in the marriage.
They make all kinds of absurd concessions and try to be what they think is moddrnised and then when it backfires they get upset.
Run your house like a man with reason prior to emotion.
Would you give that amount of money to a biz partner without a clear project and biz plan?
Wanting someone to start biz is not just about financing but enabling and empowering the person to execute a profitable biz.
In this case you just gave her money without a project and now the vultures are after her money and are helping to alienate her from you!
A marriage requires 2 to be 1.
Please put you house in order before calamity strikes.

Babies are very sensitive to our emotions.
You have to be calm when carrying a crying baby. Your calmness will calm them.
Also I find it disheartening that many young mothers don't know how to back their children.
It's very soothing and very good for the hip bones.
Also one needs to give the child enough time to sleep and also not keep jumping around and pacing with a child. Babies learn that and then always want you to dance around with them.
When my children were babies I only used a dim light at night.
I would feed and change you and calmly hold the child for a while but then lay them down to sleep.

MufasaLion:
[s][/s]

Shut up please!

Mufasa the lion
Could you please aquire the skills of reasonable and respectful dialogue
Even a 2 year old can say shut up!
Let me advice you that the words you use say everything about you and not about the person you are addressing.

emonis88:
so if his own mother keeps coming to their house like his mother in law, won't d wife start complaining too, women n their being inconsiderate, do u think it is only d wife who has her family near by?

It goes both ways.
If we understand the meaning of family and the importance of the extended family.

Some men are mean!
Why don't you allow them to get used to the fact that the daughter is now married!
It's not easy to break a bond like mother daughter.
Anyway personally I could. Never be married to a man with your expectations!
My family remains my family irrespective of marriage. Same goes for my husband's family.
This is why it is important for couple to agree about such things before marriage.
Very sad...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkQ2a_3mB4g

Why shouldn't you contribute!
A man is a protector and provider...
Was rent being paid in the days of the bible?
Society has changed and we change certain things with it.
A good woman will support her husband through thick and thin.

Being gay does not mean he will sexually abuse children.
You made a mistake not sending him out of your home that night.
If you say anything now he might implicate you.
Mind your biz and start looking for a new place.

I just hope this is a conditioner and not a relaxer.

What does your mother wamt?
Don't leave your job.
It's not a reasonable request.

So a woman transferring her one month salary to her husband is an issue here
My husband has access to my account and my online banking is on his phone.

Wooh!
It's a pity.
I just wanted to step in...

But the shut up from poster hs sent me back into my shell.

Congratulations!

jmoore:
'It is obvious'? Obviously not everyone is wise. I expected different reactions from my post, so I am not surprised.


You don't know genesis and you think you have the audacity to interpret revelation. So myopic!!

My mom took care of him as his own son from toddler till adulthood.

Note: I never knew he was my half brother till his rebellion started.

There was a day he requested to see his biological mother. My father took him there. He couldn't stay with his own mother and requested to come back after few days.



You said my father was pressured in his ill health to kick out the first son. That's a foolish interpretation from what I have presented.


My Father suffered stroke in 2019. He has already disowned him more than 10 years ago.


It's ridiculous how you left the issues of death threats, kidnapping.

Anything my father did was by his own choice. Only a foolish father will live in the same house with a son that plans to kill him.


You have no idea how many times I separated them in a fight. You have no idea!!


Blood will speak? Let's see if an enemy will have the audacity to do ashes to ashes ritual on a body he hates and planned to kill.

Too much bitterness.
It's a pity. May God allow healing.

smatt1711:
You should state your tribe. Every tribe has a way of dealing with something like this , but if you are IGBO then the question I will be asking you is how did your father disown him, in Law you can't disown a child that is yours , then in igbo culture you can disown but not by mere words , the man must call his kinsmen and give them reason the effected child should not be part of his family ,why the kinsmen is important is because one person does not own a child , the man disowning his son is also the same thing with the entire kinsmen disowning him, he will not live in that village again , ...... but what I understand clearly is that your brother and your father was not in good terms , that still did not stop him as the 1st son, and my understanding your father did not disown him and that is why your uncle accompanied him, he is still a member of that village and also your father's 1st son hence he is still living in that village , he can not be in that village and play a second son role ,that role can not be swapped in igbo culture, is either he is disowned and asked to leave the village or he is still in the village , and once he is still in the village he is still your father's 1st son and he should not be consulted but he should head over everything concerning your father's burial, Igbo tradition for you.

Thank you for this!
It's obvious that the other wife and kids might be involved in the issues that led to the rift.
Poster
If your mother didn't want to accommodate a first son she should d not have married your father.
Your mother was bathing your father... Who else was to do this?
Please do what is right.
Your father was probably pressured in his ill health and dependancy to kick his first son out but he never disowned him.
The blood will speak!
You are going on a perilous path.