₦airaland Forum

Ewuro4:



Preach sister



'If you can't beat'em' ... saw that coming already.

Eeshh

But for a moment. A few smiles from my He ;Dro and I will be all subdued again!

fem29:
Ermmm mutter is this really you or has a feminist hijacked your profile

Before !!!!
I have joined the ruling party

But only fo a moment

itstpia8:
Prayer is important but at the same time prayer is not magic when choosing a partner. Your own criteria for dating are what will determine the type of partner you date. Say, for example, someone who enjoys the club life and partying, wanting to settle down with a strict SU who spends all day in church- their union will be very difficult because they have different lifestyles.

Your comment was disrespectful to your current husband as well, because it sounds like you still don't consider yourself as having a good man yet.

Its actually very common with women to constantly be comparing their husbands/boyfriends with others, imo, that's not a good attitude because we also don't like when/if men do the same.



Its good to appreciate whatever/whoever God has placed in one's life regardless, there's a reason.






Sounds like there were many white, young and handsome doctors headed for America that she could choose from?

You know what this is going in an unnecessary direction.
You take it or leave it . I am not here to justify myself. Your interpretation is way off .
Have a nice day and forgive me if I don`t bother explaining any longer. If you don`t understand what I wrote then came back maybe in a year or two and you might understand it.

... and if you are deliberately trying to needle me, take a deep breath because you have to drive real deep

What is the main reason you want to give the baby away?

Is it only the financial aspect?

Could you manage if you got some help there?

Abeg remove you eye and concentrate on your mass.

Why should she go outside to breastfeed. Do you know that breast feeding can go on for ages and you want the woman to miss the service because she is feeding the child God gave her.

No better place to breast feed a child than in God`s presence.
God smiles and is gladdened to see her do so.

It is God`s house and not yours!

The important thing is that it is pleasing in his eye.
He is probably more disturbed about people entering his house in tolerant and unclean.

Next time you see such a thing smile at the lady and appreciate her service to mankind and then mind your biz.

BoboYekini:
Hypergamy is not a sin na. It's just what it is.
Anyway, your explanations help( only a little ). I'm still a fan.

Reminds me what a fellow student told me years back in law school

Marriage is an elevation in status. If she had one shoe before the marriage she expected to have ten after.

Hypergamy is not a sin at all but it has to be your thing. I just found other qualities more important. When I met my ex he was still struggling, and he was in now way my social level. But I knew he had potential to make it in life and he was smart.

OT but my ideal man is God fearing, intelligent, does not talk much, jet black, down to eart and modest dressing.

Since you don`t mention the bank nor the town how do you expect concrete help?

That is just not possible. Besides if my mother was in custody I will be there right away. At the police station and running around to do something.
Just hate the way people abuse power in Nigeria and get away with it.

A few years back I called my dad in Nigeria, only to be told by his wife that my dad was taken by the police and detained. The wife had a problem with my dad`s tenant and the woman had the guts to call the police.

One call and the police was in big shit. I was so angry with my dad`s wife for not telling me immediatly.
That was a small case though.

If you are being sincere name the location and the bank and let justice take it`s cause. You never know someone might have the connections to press the right buttons for you.

I agree with you. Man and woman should share everything.
It is for the woman to submit everything to her husband for the planing of the home.

But men please tell me what happens when you suddenly get tired of the woman? When you throw her out with or without her kids, where does she start from when she has nothing to start with.

How is life for a woman who submits to you and then you do not let her solve her own financial issues, like helping her parents or buying what she wants?

How is life for he when you spend money making yourself comfortable and she and the children hardly get anything.

Would that then be a life free of hypocrisy.

tpiah99:
this is disrespectful to your husband though.

and btw, so if a man is not a doctor headed for the United States, he is not a good husband?

Disrespectful to my ex husband. - Possibly but I ended up in an abusive marriage. Perhaps if I had joined her in prayer I might have been spared that.

As regards my friend she wanted to marry a white man, a doctor , young and handsome and someone that would take her away from the life in Northern Nigeria because she felt she could not live there freely as a woman.

That was her definition of a good man. That was what she wanted and that way what God gave her. They were so much in love.
Everyone has their own definition of a good husband. I personally could never marry a white man.

I learnt my lesson though.
Put everything in God`s hand.

You need to get down there and also contact the manager. Do you not know anyone influencial who can help? That was why I asked you in which town.
I am sure someone here man have an answer.

BoboYekini:
I don't know how I ever thought you were immune to hypergamy.
Every woman is hypergamous. Every single one.

You got it wrong, it was not about the man being better off. My friend was a doctor herself. It is just that coming from the north she was scared to end up with an older man with a wife or more. She wanted to get out of Nigeria and be free from the strict tradition.

The frying pan I was in had nothing to do with the mans status but his behavior

where in Anambra state. You did not answer.

Aways better when such matters go to court. The interest of the court is lower than that of the bank.
Apart from the lawyer and court strong connections can do something in this case.

The first thing you need to do i get down there where she is. There you can better take care of her. What does SARS have to do with this case?
In which town exactly is this if you doT mind sharing

carefreewannabe:
Tell me.

The trash can of a slut.

You are even lucky she still opens up for you when you are cheating on her.
Please go and get yourself tested first .

How come you say she moans and then you say she is rigid.
Maybe you are turning her off with your behavior.

It is one thing for a woman to let you in but to really groove you have to reach out to her in a special way.
A man that is good at it can get the right response from his wife over time.

carefreewannabe:
So you wouldn't mind if your kids called your ex husband's new girlfriend mum?

And you wouldn't mind if your kids called a woman who thinks that you are a slut mum?

No I wouldn`t mind but if she thinks I am a slut and is feasting on my left overs what does that make her?

carefreewannabe:
I hope they don't mind.

Why should they mind.

Besides when she calls her mum it helps the bond between them.
The child is not excnahnging her mum, she is gaining a new mum.

carefreewannabe:
If you are ok with your kids calling other women mum, then so be it.

I have only one mother, don't know about you.

Why not I call almost every woman old enough to be my mother Mama

Should we crucify her for saying what others feel inside

BTW what is wrong with the child calling her mum?
Is it not a sign of acceptance and respect.
If she calls her aunt and the children that are to come call her mum, she will be separated.
It is to the advantage of the child to call her mum

Yes I also did not like you calling the other woman a slut and you need to change that fast, but I think you would make a better step mom than most of us out there,

I just love the fact that you are ready to do something to change you situation and you seem to have your head screwed on properly. Also very modest.

You impress me!

Because God has finally answered their prayers!

It is very important to pray to God to give you a good husband. and also the kind of man you want.
God answers this prayer.

I have to give a testimony o a friend I had years back. Every evening she would ask me to pray with her. At a stage the prayer got to the God give us good husbands and I always told her that she should keep that part of the prayer till I was gone. At that stag in life it was the last thing on my mind.

This friend was from the North and she wanted to get married to an English man, a doctor and he had o be young and good looking.
I just laughed and told her that that would take more than a miracle.

Some years later I met her at the airport with exactly such a man, they were on their way to the states and I was in my frying pan being stewed.
If only I had prayed with her and asked God for a good man

Get her enrolled is sports, dancing a choir , church activity or something similar. That helps chidren. The meet new kid`s and open up.

Tell her how special she is.

Waiting to hear more but I read she had stabbed him before

I don`t use needles and I don`t go to the salon. I carry my hair natural.
Proudly black.
So glad my girls do the same.

A pope neer makes mistake.
This Pope is a blessing for the world.
He knows what he is saying.

LostMermaid:
What's twisted is, you can't make a distinction between "a thought" vs "behavior". I said I had these thoughts, also said I was bothered by them and want to change them. This is NOT a bad behavior. This is a SELF-AWARE and GOOD behavior.

I thanked to many comment writers here; which of them "joined me to hate the boyfriends baby" for God's sake? Do you even know what you saying? Not to mention I said I like the child, a million times. And the child likes me back. ETC ETC ETC. Why you then go on and talk about hate? It's you then who is full of hate!

I'm sorry but if you still can't understand what's going on after all these explanations, I will leave you in your world of limited perception and abundant judgement.

You better get used to it
One of the biggest challanges of being a step mum is having to justify everything you do and being called evil by most people.

bukatyne:
Mutter,

I do not think you are hypocritical anymore...

I think you think different rules apply to you only and another set apply to everyone else (maybe every woman else).

If you think some women are extreme in supporting women, you go the other extreme to support men.

You will deal terribly with anyone who abuses your child yet you advice another woman to hush about hers and send the boy packing; you would not accept a man marrying you for papers/marrying another wife behind you yet you advise the woman to forgive and take the man back. A man cheats on his wife and has two kids with his gf yet you do not see why the wife should not accept polygamy...

You teach your sons men and women are equal yet most of your posts regard women as second class citizens

You had a terrible ex (even while you were good) yet you do not realize that some women might be in your shoes too.

Of course, you would have supporters as long as your posts suit them.

Why you think different rules apply to you is What I do not understand.

I understand you very well
A very close friend of mine came to me once and said she had totally to me. She said she always treasured my advice but I could give her two opposite advice on the same issue on two different days.
I told her that between black and white are many shades and you have to look at it from different perspectives. So I try to look at different anglesö

I do not got to my extreme to support men. It just so happens that most posts here are from women about men and if someone mentions pro, I try to address contra. Look at all sides.

I teach my son men and women are equal to make them treat women as worthy but I teach my daughters the role of a woman.

I realize that many women are saints compared to me but when reading a post it is not so much the issue but the tone the woman uses and the way she expresses her self and also things she mentions by the way that allow one to have an impression of the situation.

I would deal harshly with anyone that goes on my daughter because I will believe her and be ready to go the battle and because I will make it clear to her that she is victim. It also depends on what facilities one has at their disposal. I lived in Nigeria and I know how it goes there. There is no professional help for the victim.

babyosisi:
I actually loved mamaput FYI
going through your posts,you sounded like here in places

Well that is nice to hear. I actually know her since we were kid`s as I said I know allot of people that fit that description.

bukatyne:
All women killed by their husbands commit martial infidelity or paternity fraud?

Are these two offences worth killing a spouse for?

I am seriously wondering why abused Nigerian wives don't snap

It must be something in the water they are drinking

At a time I prayed the man would fall in battle . no joking. However the irony of life is that we have a very good relationship now. After I left him he apologised so often. I forgave because I had to let it go.

babyosisi:
Seriously
You know mamaput?
How is she?
Tell her I miss her posts

Not yet a grandmother but I think the wedding bells will soon start ringing madly!
I will send the message accross to her. It would be nice to have her here she can be very blunt and is also a "feminist". I fear we will get into each others hair. She also can`t stand some of my views The only problem is that she will attack me for them in real life

babyosisi:
I actually loved mamaput FYI
going through your posts,you sounded like here in places

Well that is nice to hear. I actually know her since we were kid`s as I said I know allot of people that fit that description.