₦airaland Forum

exactly you need to subtract 14 from the length of you circle. Watch out for the mucus. Sometimes you need to insert the finger to find it. It is transparent like egg white and you can really stretch it because it is elastic. Like I said. it can be found only once because it isn`t that large in quantity.

PH is used to measure the acidic level. Just like km,mm for distance. You can search the internet for signs of ovulation.
Usually a woman has a slight increase in temperature, which one can determine by regular measurements throughout the month.
You may wish to buy an ovulation kit.
another sign is pain in the sides.
Then there is a mucus discharge, that a woman can see. It can be mistaken for spermatozoa. It only appears once and is so elastic it can be stretched. This occurs just before ovulation and if a woman is observant she would see it.

@poster, you are just a silly little child playing with fire.
What pleasure can you derive from a man shifting from one to another- how unhygienic.
If he wants to do this with you then you can imagine what he does without you.
Even if he does marry you, I can tell you what will happen. He will keep bringing different girls home for a party and when you get older, he will bring two girls home, while you would have to watch him.
Marriage to a pervert can be very humiliating and painful be careful

Jennykadry, I just love the way you described marriage and the depth of it.
Have to eat my hat about you being childish.

this method is very old and was originally from Dr BILLING: the Billings method.
http://www.billings-centre.ab.ca/
It can also be used for natural prevention of pregnancy. You need to have a regular circle for it to work. I learnt about it in secondary school in Nigeria in the late 70`s.
It is approved by the catholic church as one of the contraception methods.
It does work I and my friends have tried it out
I have 6 boys

maybe you have another reason for your fears.
I also have a German mother and my parents were happily married, many years. I also know many couples were it worked out. Stop living in fear and make the most of your relationship. Marriages work out or they don`t.
By the way I regard myself as black and I never had any problem being accepted in my family, never actually heard of such a thing in Nigeria only when I came to Germany.

I think the most important issue here is not when she discovered she was pregnant but if she knows the father

I think this is outrageous. Giving such amount of money out for a wedding. In a country where there is so much poverty. Please take one million donate to the needy or on a project in the village and pray for God to bless your marriage.

In Germany the child can take the name of the father even if the parents are not married. That is the law there. Are you just looking for sympathy-
Whiteone confirm that this is true

i think he has a right to know if the child is really his or not. Every mother knows she is the mother, why should the man not know? It would certainly be devastating but better than living in a fools paradise.

Some women do not want to marry because they do not want the kids to have Nigerian names. Those women that fool themselves that they have tanned babies with curly hair.

Selena make up your mind if he has his papers or not. Two contradicting stories. That seems typical of you, just wondering
Well how come you think that men prefer to live alone without their family?

I am not being hostile. In Germany when men don`t have papers the woman has the power? I am not being hostile towards her, but let her answer the question , first. Just telling it as it is.

I treat my boyfriend like i want him to treat me and this works.
[b]I don`t understand why I have to appreciate African men?
Are they so special? [/b]Please tell me.
And for your information, no I don`t prefer any black american. Why should I do that?

I would say , yes they are

Davidylan, ask her why he is her boyfriend. Why she didn`t put a ring on his hand. I can bet you those kids are answering german surnames.
One can read between her lines. Just experience.

you are deceiving your self,

we were put in this world for a reason,

be fruitfull and multiply,


and now because of "what people would say" you rush and take another woman's gift from God and parade as if its yours?Huh

This is simply completely tasteless . Children that are adopted are in need of care and love. She is giving a child a chance of a better life, love and affection.

I don`t know you and I don`t live in the UK. It`s just that I know this lady in another forum that lives in the UK married to a Nigerian-yoruba. I am not even bothering to suggest it might be you.  This lady seemed very happy in her marriage and very well integrated so you could`nt possibly be her. I admire her alot actually but you have a total different tone. White flag? Frieden

congratulations a baby is a blessing from God indeed. I wish her long life happiness, success and the knowledge of God

just the way you speak English I guess?
I think most Nigerians in Germany speak better German.
Reminds me of someone I know, but that`s another story

what exactly is German culture
Do you realise that Nigeria also has a western culture after all we were a British colony. Every Nigerian is familiar with the European culture. I don`t knw any Nigerian in Germany that does not speak German after some time.
Anyway I can see you are very frustrated at the moment. Do you live in Germany or the UK?

No it would never happen to me because I would be the one to suggest calling off the wedding and support my husband fully. She did not have to put on the wedding dress. Do you know how the family of the friend or mutual friend would have felt with him going on with that wedding? That is simply callous. There is a time for everything,a time to mourn and a time to celebrate and sometimes we don`t determine that time.
I had a slightly similar experience but not that time close. Shortly before our wedding my husband got duped out of allot of money and that was really crazy because we had all things planned. Well I told him we could re plan the wedding on a very small scale. We did not invite anyone and did not even buy wedding rings because I didn`t want a cheap one. Sometimes in life a couple just has to stand together and go through rough conditions. Years later we still don`t have wedding rings because he promised me to always have the ring around his heart. My bare finger is a symbol of our love, while for others it is the ring. At that time we felt it was hard to make those cuts but today it is a symbol of our love, and we tell our kids the story.

Where does one get a life from and what do you consider as a life jennykadry? A plastic shell devoid of humane feelings.

i think there are some important issues that need to be cleared before marrying and one of these is the issue of fertility and what would happen if no issue comes.
One may call this test barbaric but I think it is reasonable. Nothing so terrible as a childless woman and the pain she goes through. This could be even more tormenting if the man gets a child outside the marriage.
I love my husband so much that I would want him to have a child of his own. If I cannot give him one then I have to allow him get them through another woman. This is because I know how it is to him. In our case God was merciful

This man is just lying who wants to take care of a child starts immediately after birth and not some later time.
May God give you the strength to raise your kid.
Please sue him to court this is not what you want that matters. The money is for your son and his welfare is priority. You have to do all as a mother to guarantee that even if it means suing someone.

to learn the culture is required of every interracial -cultural marriage. But knowing and practising are two different things.
Most German girls if we want to be specific, do not want to practice this. They marry men even men more educated and from better families and just behave so disrespectful it is disgusting.
We have some real good ones too and they are just great.

So much good advise hardly anything to add here. I am so glad that our society is opening up to adoption.
However how does it look with inheritance and are these kids also accepted traditionally?
Would an adopted child be able to take the position of a first son? Our customs can cause complications.
All I want to add is that you have pray by adoption for God to give you the grace to treat the child well. Nothing so bad in the eyes of God like maltreating orphans and widows.

Yes black men marry for papers. Desperate situation desperate solutions. Blame your German government. After all when Europe colonised Africa did you marry our women and men to stay there. Now after exploiting Africa you are kicking against the few Africans that come there to do mostly hard labour jobs.
What causes the break up of these marriages in Germany. How can you marry a man and have children for him, when you have no regard for his country culture. When you think you are better than him because of your colour. When you have no respect for him and want him to forget his family.
How can you say you can`t understand them on the phone But your English is good enough to communicate in a forum? That just shows the kind of person you are. Why you should call her mama and ask after her. Your husband is mad because you do not respect them or regard them as in laws. You think you went to the bush to pick a monkey you can keep in your home in a cage?
If you want your marriage to last then treat it as a marriage. Decide if you are a wife or the owner of a monkey

white one why do you give yourself that nick When you have problems with it. I can as well say you are being racist by using that nick here. Trying to show "ich bin was besseres- nicht wahr" I`m something better.

You know what is amazing- most white are so racist it never occurred to them that blacks are racist too. So you finally came closer by having a black husband or bf and guess what - you found out that blacks do have their pride.
Why should one not say thanks for bringing the kids home. They know it is not easy to go to another country with your children. That is not bad but shows respect and appreciation.
Learn our way of life

reply of a woman.
Husbands are not easy to come by- fact.
If a married man comes my way and shows intention to be serious, why not polygamy is allowed in Nigeria. It happens often that women first have children and later the man performs the marriage rites.
So what does this lady want- a husband and a father for her children. She wants her kids to grow up with their father. Now your brother has decided to be polygamous but his family is against it because it is a disgrace to them as a Christian family. You people are heartless throwing away your own kids to protect your image.
How can your father confront her.
I would advise you make the best of a bad situation. Try and look how you bring the family together so that both women learn to accommodate the situation. This lady is only trying to get rid of the first wife because she sees it as the only way to enter the home.
Now please tell me why do married men go dating single women? It is obvious that the woman needed financial help from your brother too, that is why she succumbed.

jennykadry, I wonder just how young you are to give such advice because it sounds like the advice of a kid. Sorry no offence meant.
@ poster. This man is already your husband legally so the church wedding has nothing to do with a display of his love but is more like a religious obligation, the seeking of Gods blessing for the marriage.
When you saw how devastated your husband was you should have stood by him and felt his pain and been a bit more sensitive to his needs.
All you were interested in is ,"the show must go on". I don`t blame you because you were thinking of the costs. Well this is all part of our attitude in Nigeria of always celebrating the big way. traditional, then court then church. There must be a way of bringing them all together to save costs. A young couple should be more interested in having money to build up a new home and not feeding the whole world at a wedding function. 
Marriage is about tolerance and compromise you need to learn that and it takes time. If you had stood to your husband  the guests would have reacted differently and it would not have been a public disagreement but a called of wedding. I think you need to apologise to your husband too. You hurt him more.
The slap was out of provocation and pain and so can easily be excused. I hope he has not done this before though.
You need to be careful not to let this situation arise again because it might became a habit and then the beating could became more intensive.

I think it might be a good idea to warn posters about the content of some threads. I jus saw some pics her tahat were really disturbing . Wish i did`nt look at them

This is so lovely. So glad the story had a happy ending.

what kind of testing did this guy do?
This is really sick. I think this girl should leave the man because it would only get worse later on if they get married. After the marriage he would also be doing his tests to see if the woman cheated on him.
It is apparent that she would not be able to bear the psychological stress of such pressure.

@chaircover, i understood you very well. I did put it in prayer but there was little hope. My inlaws could not communicate with me because there was a language barrier. They did not want to accept me because I was from a different tribe and I guess they just wanted to find a reason to justify their being against me. Over the years I have received so many apologies, but God knows I have forgiven them.
I never got into any wars because I would never dare to disrespect my in laws. It would also hurt me terribly if my husband did that to my family.