₦airaland Forum

My son had theses problems too when he started school. I had to communicate constantly with the teacher. We even had a book, where we used to pass messages and she let me know what had been done in school so I could work on him at home.
Just as chaircover said, you need to communicate.
My son was diagnosed Hyperactive, so it was a long and hard battle with therapy to help him concentrate and focus.
I resisted the pressure from school to put him on medication.
Slowly he improves and the gap is closing but it has been real hard work for me and for him.
What is important is that you have to show him love and encouragement. Stand by him and motivate him every step of the way.
I tell my son we are learning how to walk every step is a miracle.
Also you have to know:
We are not all blessed with the same gifts. Everyone has his own talents. Take time out to find out where your son is gifted and encourage that too. It is very important that he has something he is good at. That will motivate him to have confidence in school and improve.
Sports or music or something else. Have you ever taken time out to know where his talents lie.

it feels so good to know that I am not alone.
Being a mother is no easy job

2 Hours to clean a house
Sometimes I need more than that to clean my kitchen
Anyway we are a total of 13 at the moment and then with family that visit.
I also bath my kids till they are 6 after that just as chaircover and some others say with supervision and once in a while I let them bath themselves.
Well now I have some bigger kids I don`t have to do it all the time because the bigger ones help in the evening or at weekends.
@invisible I know some fulltime mums who get less done for their kids than moms that work.

I really don`t understand, why we are trying so hard to cast away what others are trying to retain.
Look at the royalty in Europe for instance or noble families. All the ladies learn the knick and the men how to bow.
If you marry into such a family you get taught for hours how to do it. You even learn how to behave with your husband in public.
So why do we not cling unto what is ours and uphold it. A woman that refuses to kneel down at the marriage is giving a signal and has made her first blunder.
As many have said, it is no way to start a marriage.
A woman can force her husband to do just what she wants by going down on her knees.
When her knees go down, his heart melts and he gives in.
Kneeling down is the joker card for a woman.
And the shortcut to getting what you want, solving serious issues or asking for forgiveness.

I just cannot relate the pictures on this website to Nigeria.

sorry, no time now

It is very common that men shower women with gifts.
Eight years, you slept with a man you could not stand?
I don`t believe that you couldn`t stand him, maybe you just did not love him.
Now thanks to his gifts and financial help you have polished yourself up and away from the village girl you were and the guy is no longer good for you.
I can´t advise you but I have advise for your family.
They should tie you like a goat and deliver you to your owners house.
That man has paid for you, you are his property, so he damn well has a right to slap you when his property is being trespassed on.
Sorry i am being hard but that is just too mean.
What happens if you fall out of love after marriage, you just walk away, to the next guy.
Did you not know you did not love him when he went to your people. It was okay till you met another guy who wanted to marry you.
My advise go back and finish what you started.

Please how can one wish a plane to crash to get rid of one man. SO many innocent lives involved

You can have it all but
burning the candle at both ends, you know what is the result- burn out syndrome, nervous break-down.
A few ears ago I had a list like yours but now I am allot smarter.
@ poster I never read in your program that you need time to rest.
One needs to recover from the stress and have time to just be there for the kids.
You can have it all but you need to know how much is too much.
We all went through this hardship in Europe.
I also raise my kids to be very independent. They go to school on their own and come back alone. They have their duties to do and have to take are of the younger ones. My kids start cooking at an early age and at age eight most of them can make a simple meal or salad.
The only thing i haven´t quite figured out is how to stop the fights and quarrel

Busy body na wah oh

two women married to the same man decided to leave their husband. Wife A was more active in the decision and convincing. After a few days wife B decided to go back to the marriage. As she knocked on the door, wife A opened, and asked her what she was doing. She had left the home and had no right to come back.

NEVER ever listen to a woman when she tells you she would not tolerate this, or that.
NEVER listen to a woman when she says she would leave the marriage.

All lies
These are the women that even fall on the floor and take every shit at the end.

we all carry this sin on our head. Every Nigerian is to blame that such things can still happen in our country.
I feel so ashamed.
God forgive us for the injustice that so man innocent ones suffer.
Every day innocent blood shed,
A common 50 000 bail, no one could pay on her behalf.
The Judge that took this decision is inhuman, may God give him his befitting punishment.
Since the girl was so young and pregnant he should have involved the women organisations and welfare office.
I am so mad and disgusted, sorry

That would be my last resort, thanks anyway.

Alhaji Ali Idi, he used to be a director of western petroleum International in Lagos Nigeria in the mid nineties and lived then in Surulere.
I have some very important documents to return to him.
That would be such a great help to me.

The two shall became one does not extend to paper notes with a face on it
The man should be happy that he has money that the wife can take and proud of himself for being a breadwinner.
However if the wife is earning and does not contribute to the house or if she knew the money was planed for something that could be annoying.

I guess it would be hard to advise you with hardly any information.
Walking away is not the solution. Everyone has days when they feel like that

Painful and totally humiliating.
Bad enough that he was cheating on her in such a nasty way but she just has to put an agonising end to the situation or go on living in agony with him.
The fact that his family members are aware makes this case even more disastrous. Imagine having in laws like that.
In almost all cases when a man cheats or abuses a woman he always turns around to apologise.
So most people think anyway.
But the reality is that it is not an apology. What this man is actually saying is come back so I can do it again, this time I have practice.

when my second son was about eight I asked him to help me in the kitchen and he surprised me by answering that it was not a boys job.
I told him he was right and called his sister to do it.
When she was through I gave her some money to go shopping for goodies, he immediately jumped in offering to do the shopping because his sister would buy things he did not like. I told him shopping was a woman job. Well she bought all the goodies and was allowed to share them because that was a woman's job too. After having a good cry he promised never to differentiate again.
Any of my boys who feel too man to cook or help in the house is sure going to go hungry.  

the first man releases her to marry and be happy, but somewhere along the line the second one pegs and the raise his child

No she should marry him.
That way one wife beater off the streets.
I mean if she marries him she is consenting to the beating, abi

whatever decision she takes would be justified under these circumstances. First, second or none.
So far she doesnt keep two of them

We owe it to the future generation to uphold the institution of marriage.
no better form of raising children like in a family with a mother and father.
Sometimes that cannot be achieved but it should remain the standard way of bringing children into the world and raising them

at the end of the day he is the father of the child.
If the woman loves her child she would not deprive him of the father.
Some men panic and deny the pregnancy.
BUT he had enough time to repent and go back for his kid.

@ Jennykadry. you are probably talking about the Goethe Institute or do you mean the German school. Those are two different things.
Now I hope you are aware that in Germany you need A levels to study and that the certificate you get after school in Nigeria does not qualify you to study in Germany. What most people do is just get something from a language school or other private school.
Most of them break up their studies,
In the University I studied in Germany there were only about 2 of us as Nigerians.
Please stop telling the people here loads of crap.

JENNYKADRy
it would interest me how you studied in Germany directly after High school. Please where did you meet the millions of Nigerians in Germany
Most Nigerian in Germany never came here to study.

I can`t tell you I was being submissive at sometime there was only fear.
What did it bring me, who knows maybe he could have killed me? At least he was human enough to let me go.
His new wife did not last 6 months and it was over and in between I lost count at wife nr. 6.

IF my husband leaves me today, you need to know that I am now in a position to fend for myself and with so many grown up kids, THIS IS IT

To your story about groundnut sellers. I have met many women who came from such homes and the stories are very sad. As young girls they went out to prostitute themselves to bring money for their mothers home.

There is so much wrong going on in Nigeria and we keep trying to hide it, but inside unspeakable things are happening.

SPEAK OUT because women and children are suffering.

This is the sad reality about Nigeria.
Many women in Nigeria are not even privileged to submit to their husbands. They are forced into obedience, because they have no choice

@iyabasira.
call it backward.
Already in the schools, money and sex is being exchanged for good notes.
The hostels are the biggest prostitution centers.

You intend to work hard?
What  are you studying and tell us what is the starting salary?
Now tell me about what kind of job you can get in Nigeria without connections or bottom power, just by hard work that will enable you maintain a good standard of living in Nigeria.
@ jENNYKADRY  I know you find it difficult to imagine that a submissive woman can achieve anything.  
I pray God will help you to achieve your own goals in life, maybe that way you might stop bitching about other peoples own
SO tell me how much was or does a lawyer earn in Lagos to maintain a family. I mean a married woman at the beginning of her career.
My ex was a military officer and we lived in VI. If I left him without being to care adequately. ,
Do you know how easy it is to loose child custody as a woman in Nigeria? In fact he would have done what he wanted without even regarding the courts.

My point?
Let the truth be told finally.
Most women in Nigeria that appear from the outside to be independent and self sufficient are nothing more than prostitutes.
Selling their bodies for contracts, deals, favors and money.
It is not only the woman that stands on the road that is selling her body.

When you fail to submitt to your husband you must be forced to submitt to what life offers you. That is jst it.

Thats what I meant in the other thread . I´ts better to be one mans donkey than everyones donkey.