₦airaland Forum

Ybaby:


Check his past write up.... I am only repeating after him.

Yesterday he even said it is women raising the so called mad men.

It is a woman that raised him true truenv. Sigh

Haba, I even thought you were just yabbing him

If he said those things actually then I feel sorry for his wife.

Ybaby:
Ah!!! Is that emmaodet ah na my paddy e

His father left them for his mother to fend for so he hawked all sorts GROWING up. He wrote all about his bitter childhood and how he is unable to provide for his own kids and expects his wife to provide for their kids while he cheats on her.... he wrote all about it.
Ah na my paddy o

You get mouth sha

Unnerve:
If you already knew this, what then is the purpose of your topic?
You don't like it when married women are providers, you prefer it when she does not contribute to the financial upkeep of the family.

I wrote in the same post that my purpose of bringing this topic up is because I want women to be appreciated for doing their primary duties of being home keepers. If you follow either Islam or Christianity then yes, husband or wife have primary roles assigned to them by God
And one of husbands primary roles is to provide.

If you are neither a Muslim or Christian then this thread isn't for you.

Op

Please disregard the advice from males on this thread, please
Many men these days are just lazy and entitled and gold diggers. And selfish and evil.
They want an obedient slave as wife who will also hustle hard to feed them and take care of them.
While they spend their own money on personal projects or on women so ignore male advice here because it will lead you astray. Some of them dont believe you have any right to have dreams and ambitions as a wife and that you came to this world to help them fulfill their own ambitions. If he decides to chase you out tomorrow for no reason or to end the marriage you will have nothing to stand on and you will end destitute because he bankrupted you.
Get another account to transfer your money and show him like only 40% of the money you own.
This new account should not have an atm or send bank alerts to your phone or email.

Men are hypocrites. The same bible rgst teaches him that he is your leader or that he 'owns you'
also teaches men to provide for their wives.

Ybaby:
A woman can be anything she wants to be but if she chooses to be a mum then her priority is with her young children then her provider husband and her money earning ventures - her mental state is no 1, her kids mental state is next and in trying to achieve these 2 , she will soon realise that a provider man allows her to achieve this 2 goals and when she has him - in gratitude she will look after him, give him vision and possibilities, show him opportunities, pray for him, strike his ego, sing his praise.......his success is her success, they are a team, everything (except pay bills) to make him feel capable so she can achieve her 2 goals - her kids and herself.

Sounds selfish abi.... ? The soil looks selfish when it is taking the farmer' seed, sweat and water - however give the soil a few days or months (depending on the farmers seed) she, the soil, mother nature will give him farmer her harvest, multiplication, abundance. You give her no seed and expect her to produce...... lol..... she will give you weeds, badly untrained kids, dirty unkempt house, wife who is NOT attentive or devoted, cheating wife trying to make ends meet, rude wife.

Alot of young men insisting on sharing bills dont really know what they are asking for... it looks good on paper but in real life you are asking a soil for harvest without seeding it, asking a wife not to cheat without providing, asking a woman for child without seeding her etc

Seed your woman and get your harvest. Ko je ju be ye no lo.

Ire o!

I love this

Fountainofyouth:
How many men likes the idea of having maids do almost everything? Or do you live in a cage?

I'll ignore your banter, but don't ever insult stay at home mums again, or do they just sit at home and not do anything? You think cleaning, cooking and taking care of kids is child's play?

It's not child's play at all, men only see value in themselves and their duties ie providing that us why they think everything a woman does is useless unless they are also providers like their husbands
Many men dont respect women or anything feminine

Unnerve:
If financial provision was so ordinary, you lots won't be writing long articles to defend your leeching behaviour. Cleaning and cooking is something anyone can be paid to do, it's not a special power of women. We are not in the 1800s

Lazy fcks.

We are not writing long articles to defend leeching
We just want to be appreciated for being primarily responsible for the children's upbringing and keeping the home in order, giving up ambitions and personal freedom and always sacrificing their convenience, sometimes even putting up with oppressive and unjust treatment just to keep the family together
The reason many men do not appreciate the roles women play at home is because they have no respect for women and always undermine them
If the tables were turned and women were told to simply provide and lead while men took over the house and kids that is when you will see multitudes of men appreciating the role of housekeeping
The reality on ground is that many women are providers in their families, you will hardly see a family where the wife is just idle and waiting completely for husband to bring every thing but many nairaland men seem to be living in some parallel universe where all the wives stay at home all day doing nothing.

Acidosis:
I agree @op.

Thank you Acidosis

It is Very nice to see a man appreciating the job of bearing and raising kids and keeping the house in order.

WHEN A WOMAN BECOMES A LIABILITY.

Ever heard statements like: "I must have a job before getting married, I don't want to be a liability to any man". Or "I can't be a full time house wife ooo, I don't want to be a liability to any man". Sometimes parents tell their daughters; you must finish your education and get a job before you think of marriage. I don't want my daughter to be a liability to any man. I have come to discover that this is the mindset a vast majority of people today.

I asked a lady quite close to me. "when does a woman become a liability to her husband? " Due to the fact that she knows me quite well and knows that I don't just ask questions any how, she didn't give me an answer that day. She had to think deeply. She asked her younger sister the same question and she quickly replied without thinking "when she does not have a job. Her mum and a friend of hers gave exactly the same answer.

I have had course to hear statements like these in the past and a bit more frequently in recent times and I seemed to agree with it but as I began to hear it more frequently in recent times I found myself subconsciously thinking about it in... guess where? In the bathroom and toilet (sorry to mention that, some of my deepest inspiration come to me in that room). Winks*

Then the big question: Does the fact that a woman is not working and contributing financially to the up keep of the home make her a liability to her husband or the home?

Now, Mr. Man, you have a wife that loves you so much. She spends time praying for you, committing your day to God's hand, sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night to find her petitioning heaven for the family, she wakes up as early as 4 or 5 am to make sure you are set for the day's job and whispers word of encouragement to you just before you leave for work, when you get back tired and when you are discouraged.

In addition, since you married her, you hardly ever eat outside because she is such a good cook and you always eat at the right time. She even gives you a lunch pack. God has also blessed you with beautiful kids through her and those kids are well fed, taken care of, always neat and well brought up.

This woman does not make it a habit of denying you your conjugal right (sex) giving you one excuse or the other. You also confess that whenever you take your problems to her, she has a way of making your problem look so small or even go away. She is also a very good manager of resources.

Not withstanding, there is one major issue. She has no job and does not contribute to the financial upkeep of the family. Does this make her a Liability?

I looked up the word liability in the Oxford Advanced Learner dictionary and I saw three different definitions. The one that relates to the matter of discourse is that a liability is something that causes problems (in summary). I also went into the scriptures to understand the role of the man and the woman in the family and I realise that women should primarily be "keepers at home" while men should primarily be "the Providers" for the home. 1st Timothy 5:8; Titus 2:5. Biblically, a woman who has succeeded in doing the above cannot be called a liability whether she contributes financially to the family up keep or not.

Let me buttress with this example. We primarily use phones for keeping in touch with people either by calls, SMS, chats etc. Now, I purchased a simple touch lite Nokia and it helps me to keep in touch with people without any problem. Then I saw some phones that have features like gprs, scientific calculators, internet etc. Does that make my nokia phone a liability? If I now get a phone that have those other features and then the primary function of keeping in touch is malfunctioning, which of these two phones now become a liability?

For me, a woman should be actively engaged in one career, job, trade etc or the other but not for the sole purpose of
contributing to family upkeep. That is the primary role of the man. If as a man, you have a woman that supports financially, it is just an extra feature for you and it remains only an asset to you as long as it does not disturb the primary role of the woman. If it does, your working class wife is fast becoming a liability.

I hereby come to the following conclusion:
1. That a woman does not have a formal job or contribute to the financial up keep of the home does not make her a liability. In short it is the man who cannot adequately take care of the needs of the family that is becoming a liability.

2. Any woman can be a liability whether working and contributing to family finance or not. It is a function of her primary role, not the added features.

I stand to be corrected.

#Copied

Ourown:
There's nothing like lockdown currently. People still travel, only it's more expensive as drivers have to bribe their way. I am ex corper and my colleagues that passed out last week travelled down from all parts of Nigeria without any issues with Lockdown.

So advice her to travel if she can

Ok

If push comes to shove she will travel

ademmy102:
Sorry I can't answer that because the ministry that calls for documentation must have known that there is lockdown due to covid-19 and for them to call for documentation means there is provision for that. Kindly tell your sister to call her connect on what to do next.

Thank you sir

Please what is the process involved in documentation?

Thanks

ademmy102:
The embargo need to be lifted before appointment letter can be given and in a situation that the appointment letter has been typed before place an embargo the ministry can decide to give you the appointment letter but you won't be able to captured on IPPIS until when embargo has been lifted.

Note: has we all aware that there is interstate restriction now due to coronavirus pandemic no ministry will call you for collection of appointment now until the restriction being lifted.

Hello, please is it possible to help someone do documentation after collecting appointment letter? Because my sister got AP before lockdown but her name is out for documentation while she is stuck in another state due to lockdown. I want to know if its possible to help her do documentation. She got AP from ministry of health.

Thank you

Poorboy:
no man feels entitled to a woman, no man owes you. Look for what to do.

Sell rat poison if you don't have what to do

I repeat no man owes you money even in marriage.

Women are Doctor's, Nurses, lawyers, Engineers helping their husbands and living their life.

No man owes any woman

How is this long story my concern?


No woman owes you shishi


No women owes you anything even in marriage

osazsky:
did the man complain of money.in India women provide for their men..na them they do marriage and pay bride price...sex is overrated apart from sex u girls have nothing to offer and dats d plain truth

Then date your fellow men na, since women have nothing to offer you

JohnOkolo:
If you were never ready to build and worj towards the lifestyle you want. Madam you should never think about getting married cause you cannot tell a Man you don't owe him, he got married to you for both of you to make a family and work towards it and stoo thinking anyone come to earth to bring pleasure and meet all your needs.

Oga abeg shift

You want to claim men owe women nothing but if I tell you say women owe you nothing e go pain you.

If men owe women nothing then women owe men nothing too

Shikena

Poorboy:
go and look for money, leave story no man in this life owes you anything.

Neither do women owe you anything

Iffffffy:
At some point, I thought I was the one doing this narration, it is well sis.

It's like we are many in this WhatsApp group.

OP has deactivated eyaaa

The guy thought it will be business as usual on nairaland with everyone coming here to bash the wife. Eyaaaaaa

OP don't pick offence from peoples replies here, the truth is that your actions and entitlement are shocking.

How can you still be keeping late nights, collecting numbers and flirting with girls, you don't have any job for years now, your wife is feeding you, you dont help with chores, you are even complaining that she seeks your opinion on decisions to take at home.

I think your wife has very low self esteem and inferiority complex that's why she puts up with you. I won't lie I could relate with how she is feeling, maybe her inability to make friends and socialize is killing her confidence and making her stay with you because she feels that is what a 'defective' person like herself deserves.

Try this nonsense with a confident and articulate Nigerian woman make you know how far. When she is done with you you will have valid and sensible complaints to make on nairaland about her behavior not this noise you came to make here

sysengr:
Please which worm repellant is good for children (6 and 2 years).
Thanks

Zentel worm expeller

Awesomemama:
Very normal
We've gone 6days without poop once
She usually poops once in 2days
You can take fruits if you're worried. It will help her

OK thanks, I wish I can get fruits to buy but lockdown won't let me. Thanks though

Hello all

Please is it normal for a one month baby to not stool for three days?

She is exclusively breastfed and my diet is normal. Nothing out of the ordinary, rice, beans yam, semo etc. She used to poo every single day before at least twice a day and suddenly she stopped but she farts a lot instead.

Is this normal? Has anyone experienced something like it before?

Personally I think life is harder for women so some women don't want to birth a female child and watch her suffering the same misogyny they suffered or watch her live her entire life as a second class citizen.

From the perspective of a Muslim, I believe in Allah but I am a bit pained by some of the things women in Islam have to tolerate.

Just imagine inheritance laws in Islam decrees that a woman should get half of what her Male siblings get from her father's property regardless of her financial status or regardless of if her brothers are richer than her. These days men expect their wives to join hands in providing for the family so why is there still disparity in sharing wealth when both males and females have equal financial responsibilities?

Or wearing of hijab and full body cover by females which is compulsory even under scorching hot sun, or that a husband is allowed to beat his wife, or that Muslim men can just divorce their wives by pronouncing divorce with their mouths even if the woman did nothing to deserve it (this is very rampant in the north), or polygamy, when the man brings a new wife into the house and starts showing her obvious favouritism and more love than the old expired wife.

OP please do your giveaway
The man probably needed more than 35k to take care of his family, maybe houserent or something was due.

Sorry about how all this hurt you but just know that givers never lack. Thank you

It was not one thing she said, out was a lot of things and even her treatment of me. She made it known that I am the least liked of her children, always insulting and running me down before my younger ones.
Told me I was not good at anything, schoolwork and housework, always running me down behind my back to my siblings. Running me down to outsiders. My teenage years were tough, i really needed love. I was bullied at school and was lonely only to come home and face more bullying from her. Really killed my self esteem and made me depressed.

My dad basically lived like a stranger with us, he didn't interact with us or show interest or concern in our lives and just kept mute while she treated us anyhow she pleased.

Cutemarvel:
LOL. It's the shinning part that attracts them not the dark fan.
That was the first thing my first child got attracted to before even looking at his mother.

Wow, me and my mom were wondering since. It makes sense

Cutemarvel:
Does it have gold plated design?
My son always stare at the ceiling fan, his elder brother also did.

It does actually, abi that's what attracts them

blex444:
lol,this your kwesion make me weak mama

I know the question is funny jare
All my nephews and nieces and both my kids liked staring at dark ceiling fans.

Why do new born babies like staring at dark ceiling fans?