₦airaland Forum

PrettySpicey: Ha, let us not forget the:
'who has a small pin charger crew'. To show their total disregard for any thread topic, this group of people, deviate from the topic by infamously making their charger request.

Yup! i see these miscreants all over the place

Vessi: Oga at the Top Crew.
They came out of their shell mid-2013.
This was after the 'my oga at the top' saga in Lagos.
They usually show up in threads where the OP asks Nairalanders question.
They end up saying.
'if I contribute my own naw, my oga @ d top go say anoda tin'.

Yup! 'Oga at the top' syndrome definitely infected many

This dude trying to pull that 'football age' stunt.
This is probably an old vid.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vw_l9jSmxfM

Ruq: Go and Die.

haha! that is another crew

Now 2013 is closing up shop, it's time to highlight the most prevalent character types of the year in the Nairaland community.

1. The “First to Comment crew”.
This individual no dey ever catch head. He wanders the forum actively, in detective mode. He investigates what Mods are viewing each thread in order to narrow down his “front page material” threads. He goes on to leave this very useful comment right beneath the OP- “.” in hopes the thread makes frontpage, in which event he returns to drop either his long copy/paste “first to comment' shout outs, or “FTC tinz” and more gibberish.
His prognosis often includes his crap getting hidden or im go collect small ban.

2. The “What is this doing on Front page crew”
2013 saw the uprising of those who apparently perceive the home page of Nairaland as being equivalent to CNN or NTA. When a lighthearted or humorous thread hits the front page, they grab their picket signs and cutlasses and hit the streets (of Nairaland).
This guy needs to chill out. Life is not that serious. Nairaland to the best of my knowledge is neither a News nor political site. It is a “General” discussion forum, meaning “ANYTHING” that fits wholly or partially into the Nigerian context goes up for discussion.

3. The “PDP, APC, FASHOLA, ANTI-FASHOLA, GEJ, ANTI-GEJ crew”
There was a time when political debate was largely confined to the politics section. This was not the case in 2013, as even a thread with the topic
“Cute cats singing, while cute puppies dance and rainbows bow in the background”
will somehow attract comments on how the incompetence or competence of GEJ/FASHOLA has led to such singing and dancing by these cute furry friends of ours.
I tire for this crew.

4. The “Thread Bomber/Spammer”
This dude has no respect. He has never come across such words. He targets any thread with significant activity; it DOES NOT matter what the thread is about or discussing. All he knows is he has the secret to fish farming & snail farming and you are all to contact him IMMEDIATELY he pastes his advert on your thread, and walks away like a BOSS.
If I catch this guy ehn..

5. The “my MB crew”
Alright, we know for those in Naija, internet access is still an issue, but abeg make una relax small. Any thread containing photos & video will definitely attract this crew to go:-
“ah! Na ur fada buy me MB?” or
“make una watch am tell me.. I no get MB to waste” or
”Sh*t!.. see as I waste my MB on this useless thread”.
no vex, your telecoms provider go soon do New year promo.

6. The "Pics or it didn't happen crew"
These are the newest evolved characters. For every topic without a pic or video, they show up with this same response.
'pics or it didn't happen' or 'video or it didn't happen'. Needless to say, they are most prevalent in threads to do with the female anatomy.
Awon bad boys.

*honorary mention:
“THE GREAT GARRI CREW”: This crew was hyperactive prior to 2013, and roamed the lands VORACIOUSLY until early 2013, when the atmosphere created by mods became less conducive for their survival. Their wise words of “HOW DOES THIS AFFECT THE PRICE OF GARRI IN THE MARKET” were abound. Our evolutionary scientists at the NaLaugh research headquarters now have reason to believe, following extensive research and fossil records that this particular species evolved over time into the existing “What is this doing on Front page Crew”.

Abeg, add your own Common/prevalent/Annoying Nairaland characters of 2013.

Honestly, we might need to consult IFA for this.

Innoxxacs: vanity

Thus sayeth the poor man.

MissYuzedo: Music video directors Sesan Ogunro and Moe Musa
lost their dads early morning today and yesterday
respectively.
As you must have read by now, Sesan's dad, Sesan
Ogunro Snr was shot point blank by armed robbers
as he returned from his church's Christmas
Carol yesterday with his family - kids and grand
kids.
He was rushed to the hospital, only to die later on.
Moe Musa's dad died after a horrific gas explosion in
his kitchen, here in Lagos.


This is happening after both artistes shot the Skelewu music video... Can u guys see what am seeing

SoURCE

Wow thanks mod!
Meanwhile you can also VIEW THE PICTURE OF THE WORST CHRISTMAS CAKE HERE HERE

Hello There!.. will you be so kind as to wrap some of whatever you're smoking in a nice little christmas package, and send it to me?
I would really appreciate it. Much Thanks.

tpia@:
Good for her, but why didn't she buy it before now, just asking.

Didn't she buy a very expensive car previously? She could have bought the house first then the car second.

Btw , source @ op.

are u freakin kiddin? ... *face palm*

wi5dom: Buhahahaha...ur maths na agidigba oh dats y e no gud to wan be like somebody. U murdered Maths and u need to bury am 4 a nice coffin oh or better still...go back to pry sch for an option! No vex

no need for nice coffin, na islamic style. na to bury am shap shap.

Numero uuuno: I'm not taking you serious nor am i getting freaked out by your post,hence the *tongue out* emoticon in my previous post...you're the one that need to get the drift.

its all good

Good Boi: Is it a sin if I Did not buy the songs ? #PIRACY

Yup!. "Thou shall not steal"
It is over for you my friend, there is no saving you at this point. THE END.

I joke i joke

let me check. BRB.
.
.
Okay, after inspection, there are a total of 65 [size=13pt]([/size]25 + (-25) [size=13pt])[/size] gospel songs on my phone.

Numero uuuno: Yeah,its meant to be a parody except that the equation isn't correct

if it was correct, it would be less of a PARODY my friend.

That's like me trying to convince you on why your username sucks.
I mean its "Numero uno" right? so why da heck do u have "numero uuuno"

then u go, "oh, at the time 'numero uno' was taken"
then i go "bullcrap!! 'numero uuuno' is wrong, and bla bla."

Get da drift?.. it ain't that freakin serious. it's the jokes section.

demsid: some people go still agree say this guy wuruwuru to d answer maths correct o. Esp girls

bros, all na packaging na.

e.g if i tell u say short people smart pass tall people, u no go gree.

but if i say "Research shows that 59% of men under 5ft 6 are smarter than men over 5ft 6".
u go wan follow me reason the matter.

ALL NA WURUWURU PACKAGIN

Numero uuuno: Your equation is totally wrong.
The bolded is the cause of your blunder.
Here is the correct one.
n(n²y)=f + u- ot
n(n²y) + ot = f + u
This when totally solved doesn't give "not funny"

haha do you have any idea what a sense of humor is?

that was a PARODY of the OP's equation.

Akpos the houseboy usually sneaks into his Oga's room, drinks his wine and adds water to top it up. One day his Oga bought a new wine called pastis, a french wine that changes colour if water is added onto it. Akpos unaware of this, sneaks in, drank the new wine and added water to it. Immediately it started changing colour.
Akpos: I am in trouble, big trouble.

He ran to the kitchen. Meanwhile, Oga and madam were seated in the parlour, while Akpos was in the kitchen.
...
OGA: Akpos
Akpos: Oga
OGA: who drank my pastis?
No answer!
OGA: Akpos, who drank my pastis?.
No answer. Oga walked to the kitchen and saw Akpos there.
OGA: Are you insane or what?. Why when i call, you say "Oga" but when i ask you a question you don't answer me.
Akpos: Oga, when you are in the kitchen you don't understand anything, except your name.
OGA: Is that so?. Okay go to the parlour, stand beside madam and ask me a question while i stand here.

Akpos went and did what oga said.
Akpos: Ogaaaaaa
OGA: Yes Akpos
Akpos: Who goes into the maid's bedroom when madam is not at home?.
No answer.
Akpos: Ogaaaaaa!!! You dey hear me, I say who dey sneak enter the house girl room when madam no dey house?.

No answer. Oga runs out of the kitchen.
OGA: Wonders shall never end. Akpos, it is true o, when one is in the kitchen, one does not hear anything, except one's name.
MADAM: That's not true. It's a lie.
Akpos: Madam, do you want to be tested?
MADAM: Yes
Akpos: Oya enter the kitchen
She enters.
Akpos: Madam!!
MADAM: Yes Akpos..
Akpos: Who is Junior's biological Father? Me or Oga
Madam rushed out of the kitchen
MADAM: This kitchen needs to be fumigated o!!, I can't understand anything at all.

haha!

wahala

omonla10: Bro u just murdered mathematics

na night school i go. no be my fault.

n (n² y)= f + u - ot

n + ot (n² y) = f + u

n + ot = f + u - (n²y)

n + ot = f + u n*ny

not = f+un*ny

YES, I'M A GRINCH, AND YES, I FAILED MATHS. HAHA!

mayorall: I am thinking of mailing all this banks if they can think of it in the nearest Future. But Seun can also create a section for this. I guess people trust nairaland.

I have thought of this before. A lot of people transact on Nairaland, but typically at a risky level. If Seun can set up a service within Nairaland to facilitate an escrow-type platform, it would be a major boost to the "Nairaland economy " as safety of funds is a major hindrance in transacting.

My Open letter to bosoms (na the reigning style be dat)

bosom o bosom
thou lovely bosom.
big bosom, little bosom
thou lovely bosom.
bosom o bosom
what hath man had doneth without thee
o bosom
luscious, succulent, jiggly in thy graciousness
o bosom
saggy, upright, pointy, flabby
beauty all i see
o bosom
for the rest of my days, bury my face in thee
o bosom

..signed NaLaugh

jibbzion: POC, it's not a "public school", it's a federal institution.

same difference

Alikaxon: How could fynestboi close my own with "source" attarched? There is no source in this one and u think its best fp worthy? Anyway, I don't think am bordered, cox am not expecting any award or food from my topic being on fp. I only protested cox I detest prejudice, and I can always stand firmly and boldly to depricate what is depricable as long as my point is tenable. Cheers!!!

chairman, you sure say u no vex?, coz the grammar for your last sentence na Obahiagbon & Court of Law approved o!.

IamDebola: Yeah.. The bottle wey dey my house nw.. if na naija, believe me person fit take am start business..
Though you return some, but some na buy and never return am..
Especially Pepsi product, I'm a big fan of mountain dew, if you see mountain dew bottles wey dey my place.. even 7up company for naija go envy me..

go check yourself for Diabetes

dahdah: THAT BABE IS PREGNANT

maybe na GULDER

no go dull yourself like this baba. haha!