₦airaland Forum

nnady chuks: Why is it that akpos is not seen by lots of people?

coz he is AKPOS.

good luck to them

Akpos was in church earlier today, he
sat at the back with a lady beside him.
She had a chain around her neck with
the cross between her boobs.

Akpos sitting beside her couldn’t
help staring. The lady knowing Akpos
had been staring for over 15 mins then
asked “Are you looking at Jesus Christ
who died on the cross?
Akpos replied: No! i'm actually
more interested in the two thieves beside him…

haha!

no be only prayer, na KUNG FU.

Number 1 reason:

IT SHOULDN'T. why?... cuzz!

BABA

@OP

If you have any value for your sister. DO NOT LET IT HAPPEN!

my great grandfather died 3 times. The first two times, he woke up at his burial ceremony. lived for a while, then died again. The third one, people were expecting him to wake up again, but he did not. At least, not before he was buried.

Maybe he missed his bus from the other side.

Sounds like a joke right? NO! it is not.

I don't know. looks more like a "condition" to me. maybe chemical burn.

Na today?

uhmm.. errm, how do i say this..
The starring lady had some big ol' tatas

sкчscrαρεr™:
do they sell sex in the shop?

for that, you'll need to access the back room of the shop. on a coded something!

my nigg said "if you're that lucky woman". hahaha!

FOOL FINDER: In the Last picture she looks as if she has no idea of what she is doing.

my guy forget. dem dey call that style BLUCKOS DESTROYER.

Ekaite about to go on a 1st date with her boyfriend Panku. she was being tutored by her grandma.

Grandma: "He will try to kiss you, allow him. He will try to cuddle you, allow him. He will try to lay u down and
get on top of you, don't allow him".

Ekaite: grandma, why?.
Grandma: "because if you do that, you have allowed him to
disgrace you and all your family".

Ekaitte: okay
she left on her date. Several hours later she returned.

Grandma: how did it go?.
Ekaite: exactly as you said, except when he
laid me down and tried to disgrace our family,
I turned him over, got on top of him and disgraced his family.

haha!

naijafury: I disagree with you

have u visited a beach in Naija?
where girls swim in boxers and sweat pants?

he woke up one morning like ...17?? .. what am i doing with this old woman?

FVKIN CLOWN!

To celebrate with the students for this great news, i am giving each student 5,000 Naira recharge card. All you need to do is call me on

080... wait, i dey come, somebody dey knack gate.

475 mil Naira = $3,025,000.

You can buy
3 mansions here in the U.S for that amount.

or

6 mini mansions.

or

10 decent houses.

YOUR CHOICE.

@ OP

Abeg put the house for leather give me my change..

Mattex001: No body on nairaland Can afford dis... Period!

speak for yourself.

timpaker: who cares? `
I'm more interested in those hotties..
Damn! Why didn't they let us know that those hotties would be coming?

I know say na Koko Master arrange those babes come for them.

crusufixo: Wondering why they could not use nigerian ladies............

coz naija girls are too timid to wear actual bathing suits. YEAH, I SAID IT...

From the News room of Nalaugh.com:

Our highly untrusted reporters have uncovered details on a very recent groundbreaking deal between Italian luxury designer, and our very own Comrade Adams Oshiomole. The purported deal as uncovered by our highly unreliable source is worth an estimated $15 Million over a 3 year period. This deal covers a brand new line of Apparel under the Comrade's endorsement. Our inexperienced correspondent reached out to the Comrade to get a word on this development. However, he only received an anonymous text reply with the content "G & D", which we can only assume confirms the news is indeed true.

Below is a preview of the marketing campaign about to hit the media shortly.

in Pete Edochie voice:

A Chiilld that dances to Ikukpokpo, does not know that Ikukpokpo is the dance of the spirits.

haha..

-U sheet here sheet here sheet here, dey find the LCM.

-U mess all the fish for river pass common entrance.

OFFICER EAZY:- what is your name?
AKPOS:- M.P sir
OFFICER EAZY:- tell me properly!
AKPOS:- Michael Peter sir
OFFICER EAZY:- your father's name?
AKPOS:- M.P sir
OFFICER EAZY:- what does that mean?
AKPOS:- Moses Peter sir
OFFICER EAZY:- your native place?
AKPOS: M.P sir
OFFICER EAZY:- is it Makurdi Purum?
AKPOS:- No, Minna Port sir
OFFICER EAZY:- what is your qualification?
AKPOS:- M.P sir

OFFICER EAZY:- (angry) what is it?!
AKPOS:- Metric Pass
OFFICER EAZY:- so why do you need a job?
AKPOS:- M.P sir
OFFICER EAZY: meaning?
AKPOS:- Money Problem sir
OFFICER EAZY:- what is your personality?
AKPOS:- M.P sir
OFFICER EAZY:- would you explain yourself and
stop wasting my time?
AKPOS:- Monacrotic Personality

OFFICER EAZY:- I see... I will get back to you.
AKPOS:- sir, how's my M.P?
OFFICER EAZY:- and what's that again?
AKPOS:- My Performance.
OFFICER EAZY:- M.P!
AKPOS:- m.e.a.n.i.n.g?
OFFICER EAZY:- Mental Problem!!

haha!

Idi Amin: I know of a guy who is currently married to a ghost. When they were dating, he didn't know until the lady led him to her home in the village. After that, the lady still visited the guy and reassured him. Today as I'm typing this, they are living together in Lagos with kids but not officially married because his inlaws refused to accept brideprice of their "dead daughter". This is absolutely true life story because the guy is my pally and the lady in question serves me food whenever I visit them. Initially, I thought she didn't know that I knew her story until she asked me one day, ......"My name" why are you not avoiding me upon knowing my story? I simply told her that I believe shit happens because uptill now, I still hang out with my dead childhood friend. As I was growing into an adult, he was growing too. I currently live in LA and he lives in Las Vegas just few hours drive away from me. He is married with kids as he promised his mother in the dream 'according to her' that he will surely bring her kids. I also have interaction with my late dad who still send my mum messages about his investments through me. I tell you guys something, my childhood friend told me that half of residents in Lagos are his likes from beyond and I know many are here on nairaland. Let me quickly add this, I am a christian, so let no foool call me names here

You live in LA right? I bet you're on that good CALI KUSH huh? ...ma nigga!