₦airaland Forum

sorry girl, from what you've said, he's intentions were to string you along and possibly have one last fling before exchanging the vows but he now has "feelings". I use the words feelings lightly because if you do decide to fight for him, chances are you might win however bear in mind that when he puts a ring on you, there just might be another girl who he'll start casually with again and perhaps develop "feelings" for her.....then what happens to you? would you rather know now that you've only lost 3 months to a nonentity that years?? the choice is yours to make.

Usually you are monitored during pregnancy and the delivery always has to be done via CS to reduce the risk of transmission.. the final hurdle is you are not allowed to breastfeed the child either. As long as you follow the instructions and recommendations of the Healthcare professionals, the virus wont be passed to the child

did u not date before marriage? the issues you have listed above have nothing to do with a person's tribe rather its more to do with the character. I have seen Yoruba people that are dirty, lazy and all....there are other people of the opinion that Fulanis, hausas heck even the westerners are dirty.
Been yoruba doesnt mean you are hard-working, always on the move, home trained, clean & neat or even constantly "in the mood" for some loving.
I think you need to re-evaluate your mentality and perception that your marriage failed as a result of inter tribal links other wise, you could end up in marriage nos 2 with a Yoruba lady and still have the same issues you experienced in your current marriage.

Eloquence is very important to me. It reminds me of my childhood, growin up as a teenager in Nigeria, i spent a year in Unijos before leaving and as a Jambite (16yr old teenage girl) with misplaced priorities, always putting looks before anythig else bla bla bla...............there was this guy in my class, he looked goodddddddd, dressed clean and daym, he was fineeeee...He always gave me this look like he wanted to talk and i would go shy everytime he looked at me. i was secretly wishing he'd ask me out and i was ready to say yes without any "hard to get" games. And then came the day, he cornered me after lectures at the corridor, and i was smiling gleefully believing that this was it, he opened his mouth to speak and the words (10yrs after i still remember) he said, "Baby make we dialogue". Every attraction, lust, feeling etc i had for him disappeared instantly and that was the end for him

My father died in the C130 air crash in 92. its almost 20yrs and i still miss him, my mum still misses him but who are we to question God

ofcourse "Mr I dont care about my citizen's safety, welfare or country's National security" President GEJ will say Nigeria is safe to visitors and foreigners just not safe to its citizens and residents

in other news, the sky is blue, the grass is green and i am female, If we as a nation needed Algeria to tell us what Boko haram is then we really are no different from an Ostrich who buries her head in the sand whilst ignoring a problem in its front hoping the problem will somehow disappear.
May God help us all

the coil - which lasts for 5 years costs 200 naira to fit in most antenatal clinics. some military clinics actually fit it for free. i am certain if the man and his wife made an effort to locate a clinic and explained their situation, they would fit one for them.
It is a shame to this man, most of all inexplicable that he chooses to bring in a defenceless suffering child to this world knowing he hasnt got the finances to cater for the child's need, IMO thats the height of irresponsibility

demure

all i know is CONTRACEPTION IS CHEAPER THAN A BABY. simples!!! If you want to prove you are a man, then take care of your family not by begging others to take care of them for ya

And who is the head of the home? the man or woman?? if the woman desires to have another child when she clearly can barely afford to take care of herself and/or the child on ground then the husband should talk to her as the head. if they both agreed on expanding their brood then they shouldnt ask other people to help aid their ever enlarging family.

i empathise with this family however why get your wife knocked up and seek sympathy? Havent they heard of contraception/Family planning Seriously, they have no roof over their heads, no steady income, a child to feed and then you get your wife pregnant AGAIN?

my hubby helps me iron both my clothes and that of our son. and guess what, he helps do the dishes sometimes 2ce a week and always always makes the bed cos i'm not good in making the bed. Does that make him less of a man? NO.
Get off your high horse and see your wifey as "ONE" before you sow negative seeds in your marriage. You are her and she is you

its the same thing with the UK as my BB on Orange isnt working. Having spoken with the customer service i've been told there is a BB outage across ALL BB users in the UK.

http://nigeriafilms.com/news/13130/1/breaking-newsactress-mercy-johnson-finally-calls-o.html
according to the link above. I do have to say i feel deeply for her. It must be heartbreaking after all the time, effort, money, planning, shopping for the wedding. The plans and visions of how she'd want her married life to be, Such is life, if only there was a crystal ball, Life goes on.

it depends on what d "individuality" is. You have to take in to account the fact that in some cases, that "individuality" might be what attracted the lady to the man,
In Jlo's case, her individuality is her career. However I do believe there isn't a yes or no answer but rather compromises will be needed if individuAlities become a cause for dispute in a marriage.

@ Blue tooth - My hubby is in the Military as i rightly said. We were invited to breakfast & dinner with "Family" on 2 different occasions and it was never a banquet/party type visit. And we were invited by Boye. One of Obj's son who is coursemates with my husband.
When you get to the "Final" gate, your name will be cross checked on the list to confirm if you have an appointment. Our names were however not crosschecked because the times we've visited, all my hubby did was call his friend who then came and "cleared the protocol" to allow our entry. Hope you are satisfied.

Its evident that most of the people claiming to have visited Aso rock, have probably never visited Abuja. I have been to Aso Villa and might i start by saying Aso Rock is Different from the "Villa" as its called.
Aso Rock i.e the moutain we see in pictures is actually located behind Gowon Barracks (Now called Mambilla Barracks).
Whilst the presidential Villa is indeed a big Villa. There are several security gates you have to pass through to actually get to the villa. I happen to know this cos my hubby is in the military and ve tagged along as his +1 for a breakfast & Dinner during Obj's regime.
If you drive through Aso drive - the first gate, the third turn on your left (i believe) is where you need to be headed to get the villa. There are certainly many turns to be made however i dont think its appropriate to write all that info here on a public forun due to the current security situation in Nigeria. But i can tell you that Mr president's House is Palatial. There's a reception Area, and then a sitting room which was where we sat when we went for the breakfast. And everyone in the house (excluding workers, cooks, security etc) has to gather for prayers with mr Obj, Jerry Gana and the then Pastor of the Villa. After the prayers we were ushered to a dinning room that sat around 30 people and the rest is history, Might i add that the First lady's villa is next to the President's own and then next to the First Lady's villa is the ADC's House.
But make no mistake, the interior decor is MIND blowing. There were mirrors everywhere in the house as well.

I empathise with you poster. i know its hard but believe me, in a few years you'll be glad he did this. Something similar happened to my first cousin who WAS already married to her boo and they both resided in England. They were going through a sketchy phase in the marriage, and just like your ex did, my cousin's husband of 3 years decided he wanted to travel to Nigeria for a month to change scenery. Exactly 10 days after he arrived, he got married to a girl from out neighbouring village. You can imagine the shock, betrayal, anger, humilation that followed, anyway, the rest is history, my cousin is much better now that he's out of her life. So i encourage you to be strong, set yourself a day - - day plan on things to do, to occupy your time. if you need to cry then cry, if you need to scream thats fine but when he returns to NY, pls and pls, dont ask him why he did what he did. I know this might sound strange as you'll probably feel that his explanation might help give you some closure and trust me, he'll know that you'll be expecting some form of explanation. But asking him for explanations is giving him some power over you. Suprise him by not asking him or speaking to him, give him the "FEDERAL BONNING" (thats what my cousins and i call it). It will make him wonder WHY you havent asked him and he'll ask for an audience with you, then and only then will you dish your anger on him.

Queensmith i never said you edited wiki. All i said is that wiki has NEVER been a reliable evidenced based resourced as it can be edited by anybody with access to a computing device. its not an accredited reliable online resource. You need a certified accredited website as your evidence. Selah

Queensmith your ignorance really amazes me. There is no intellect or learned person that'll consider ANY info from wikipedia a fact and you know why? Because anybody and i mean ANYBODY that has access to a computing device can edit any info on Wiki.
You can edit the info on the link you've supplied so also can i, so also can a 4year old learning how to type. Wikipedia isnt regulated. So if you want to provide a link as your evidence, please use regulated accredited sources.

@Queensmith - lest i forget, testosterone gels are prescribed for men who have low testosterone. FYI - Low levels of testosterone in a man can make the patient suffer from low sex drive, impotence, low sperm production etc all of which can cause the man to be INFERTILE. and the use of Testosterone gel is to aid the reversal of the above symptoms.
So tell me, why would a man who has no intention of fathering a child, use the gel as part of a daily lifestyle? a gel that's known and LICENSED to aid the increase quality sperm production, sex drive, fertility et al

@Queensmith - Ignorance is embedded in you. i read somewhere to never argue with a fool as it'll only be a platform for the fool to showcase thier foolishness.
Depo Provera is a female hormonal contraceptive injection which has to be topped up every 12 weeks. Show me the Ministry or dept of health or better still, a Doctor or Pharmaceutical company that says its ok for men to be injected Depo provera as a form of contraception.
The "childsupportannalysis" link you pasted is a link to a forum for survey on whether men will agree to use male contraceptives and/or how it'll work if its indeed licensed, besides thats a link dates 2000 (11years ago).
In the medical field, thats a LOTTA years. The link i posted backing my facts is FeB 2011. So girl, try not to showcase ur dumbness anymore than you already have.

@ Nekai - glad to help

@ Crude oil - i never said i was omniscient nor did i claim to know it all. i gave evidence of the current clinical facts as it stands. if you bothered to read the link i posted, you'd know that.

erm actually, as a health researcher in England, i CAN categorically tell you for a fact that MALE PILLS do NOT exist. Research is been carried out at present by pharmaceutical companies to develop hormonal methods for men as the only form of protection men can self administer are Vasectomy or/and Condoms.
see the link below for my evidence. your friend is playing with her life because she's having unprotected intercourse with a pathologically liar, a guy who may as well be bleeping a whole bunch of other girls. She should tread with caution.

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/male-contraceptive-pill/Pages/Introduction.aspx

I have been married closed to 7 yrs now but collectively been with my hubby for 8 of those years and i can hand on heart say he HAS been faithful and loving to me, most importantly, he has NEVER given me any reason to doubt him or his love. I dont know what the future holds for us as a couple and family but for now, i can stand straight and declare that based on my personal experience, Men can be faithful to ONE woman, they just need to have a reason.

[She further explain that the guy's love is still
disturbing her but she don't think the guy is really interested in marrying her)


The above statement of yours to me implies that but for the fact that the "guy" didnt show interest in marrying her, she'd have dumped ur behind a long time ago. Sometimes love hurts but you have to be real.
Say you marry her and in 3 years time, this guy comes back to her life saying he's now ready to marry her? dont you think she'll walk out on you to his arms? She threw away 6 years of your relationship because she fell in love with someone else and was ready to settle down with the guy but because he hasnt shown any sign of seriousness thats why she's sticking with you.

Yes i can and i have loved my cousin (we broke up after been together for a while). I am from "a middle belt" state and in my place its very much allowed. (second cousins are allowed to get together but 1st cousins are frowned upon heavily). i have an aunt that married her cousin, they've all got grown up kids of marriageable age. Further up north, 1st cousins marry each other and its considered the norm and i have witnessed 3 northern weddings where both bride & groom are first cousins.