₦airaland Forum

This is someone's husband, father, son, brother, relative, friend.
@ Poster - Would you be pleased to see your father's last pictures plasted across the net like this? Where is our decorum? Give this man some dignity and respect please.
Perhaps his family are not even aware of his death but thanks to your thread they will be.

Am out!!

I had an epidural as i had a very difficult labour all because i was trying to do "hebrew woman" rubbish bearing in mind this was a very difficult pregnancy from day 1. I suffered with Severe Hyperemesis and was constantly admitted in hospital. Then i was overdue and the doc's recommended CS. My mum, hubby & pastor were all talking their own and i followed their talk, ended up with major complications after birth.
Those complications began before i even had the epidural but i can tell you this, the epidural was the best pain relief ever
I had gas & air, then 2 doses of diamorphine injections then an anesthetist came and administered the epidural in my spinal cord
It took all the pain away completely!!! the only thing i felt was discomfort and pressure to push around my pelvic. I even had an episiotomy yet didnt need pain relief for that because of the epidural
Side effects are, drowsiness.
Would i have an epidural again? Absolutely yes. As long as you have the right team with you then you are good to go.

Hello House 

There is this advert that runs in the UK on sponsor a child bla bla bla. I decided to participate in it but rather have a little bit of say in which country the child is sponsored. The purpose of this thread is to sponsor a child or two (depending on the costs involved) through school. I am not a multi millionaire (well i am trusting God to be one) but I believe rather than spending hundreds of pounds every now and then on brazilian hair I can invest that in a family through their child. The bible says silver or gold, i do not have, however I can, through God's grace and mercy, give you a tool which will help you acquire knowledge to empower yourself and family, perhaps out of poverty. I should have done this at the beginning of last month when kids were planning to return to school but ......shoulda woulda coulda.
They say he who opens a school door, closes a prison.
A child miseducated is a child lost.
All of us do not have equal talent, but all of us should have equal opportunity


Like i said at the beginning of my post, I dont have millions/hundreds of naira to give you but I can help pay your tuition. that is the strength of my contribution. My family and I benefited from a scholarship which gave me the opportunity I have today and i think I can offer someone the same opportunity as i had.
The government may not be able to offer free basic education to every child but if some of us are able to impact the society in the little way we can, we can go along way to reduce the uneducated al majiris in the north, the uneducated touts in the west, the uneducated hoodlums in the east, we can give them a chance to have a meaningful life. Ghandi said If we are to teach real peace in this world, and if we are to carry on a real war against war, we shall have to begin with the children.


CRITERIA FOR SCHOOLARSHIP
It has to be an affordable school ooooooooooo (when i win the euro lotto then)
Primary or secondary school education (there are lots of scholarships for University students)
Name of the school (I would contact them to verify)
Tuition Amount and the evidence
Evidence of attendance (previous school results/report card) or admission letter.
A brief explanation of your personality & circumstances.
You can apply through yourself or your parents can make a request on your behalf.
Express

greatgod2012:
@natasha, this is good and nice of you, may God bless you greatly.
For this you have done, may you never run out of God's favour.
Infact, you're giver, and your hands shall continually be on top.

Amen and thank you greatgod 2012

theunusualmoon:
Thats quite nice of you but you didn't leave any channel with which you can be contacted directly.

I do apologise, onlineactivities@yahoo.com

Hello House

There is this advert that runs in the UK on sponsor a child bla bla bla. I decided to participate in it but rather have a little bit of say in which country the child is sponsored. The purpose of this thread is to sponsor a child or two (depending on the costs involved) through school. I am not a multi millionaire (well i am trusting God to be one) but I believe rather than spending hundreds of pounds every now and then on brazilian hair I can invest that in a family through their child. The bible says silver or gold, i do not have, however I can, through God's grace and mercy, give you a tool which will help you acquire knowledge to empower yourself and family, perhaps out of poverty. I should have done this at the beginning of last month when kids were planning to return to school but ......shoulda woulda coulda.
They say he who opens a school door, closes a prison.
A child miseducated is a child lost.
All of us do not have equal talent, but all of us should have equal opportunity


Like i said at the beginning of my post, I dont have millions/hundreds of naira to give you but I can help pay your tuition. that is the strength of my contribution. My family and I benefited from a scholarship which gave me the opportunity I have today and i think I can offer someone the same opportunity as i had.
The government may not be able to offer free basic education to every child but if some of us are able to impact the society in the little way we can, we can go along way to reduce the uneducated al majiris in the north, the uneducated touts in the west, the uneducated hoodlums in the east, we can give them a chance to have a meaningful life. Ghandi said If we are to teach real peace in this world, and if we are to carry on a real war against war, we shall have to begin with the children.


CRITERIA FOR SCHOOLARSHIP
It has to be an affordable school ooooooooooo (when i win the euro lotto then)
Primary or secondary school education (there are lots of scholarships for University students)
Name of the school (I would contact them to verify)
Tuition Amount and the evidence
Evidence of attendance (previous school results/report card) or admission letter.
A brief explanation of your personality & circumstances.
You can apply through yourself or your parents can make a request on your behalf.

whilst no human is perfect, and your wife hasnt been given the platform to defend herself; however, you sound like a very insecure man who is huffing and puffing simply because your wife did not swear to sango or whatever. When you married her, did you swear to sango during your ceremony? Can you swear to Sango that you havent committed fornication/adultery during the entire time you have been with her? [s]Na your type de put magun for em wife body[/s]
I have briefly gone through your previous topics and it appears you married her because you got her knocked up. Your 2nd post on this thread states that "lying can cause heartbreak and emotional bla bla bla". My question is these, why stay with someone you dont trust? is it the satisfaction of "I knew it, I was right all along" or what?

My baby was like that also. Night was like his day time. His eyes would just be shining bright at night time like torchlight . We had to resort to drastic measures. We didn't allow him ANY nap at day times. Whenever he starts to slp we tickle him n make faces 2 keep him awake and amused till Arnd 7 pm. Then I bath him, his dad feeds him n by then, d poor guy is too tired 2 disturb any n just crashes till Arnd 3 am when he wakes up for a feed n crashes back till 7 am again.

my definition of the law of See finish is
a) when a man refuses to marry a girl of his age group (same age, 1 or 2 yrs younger)/ or older than he is, on the basis that she would not give him "respect" and chooses to marry someone 5 years or more younger. The law of "See finish states that it doesnt matter whether your spouse is 5, 10, 15, 20 yrs younger or even same age with you, once she sees your willy n does the deed!!! she don see you finish be that o. She don sabi wetin u de use form, how many minutes you fit last, for your mind you go think say you get horsepower but na different assessment.
Thats why you sometimes see a teenage girl been rude to a man whom everybody fears in an office.


PS - A woman would respect you if you have earned her respect. Irrespective of the age difference. Even respect in marriage cannot be demanded, it can only be earned. You can bully a woman into submission, but not respect!

This isnt all that strange. Whilst i am not igbo by tribe, i am from the middle belt area. My husband is from the South south. We both didnt want a large crowd/party (despite resistance from both sides of the family). We had always planned for a small wedding cos i dont understand how people can justify spending ridiculous amounts of money on a few hour events (money that can buy a land/uncompleted building/cab to put on road to generate more income to the family etc)

Anyhoo, after going to the village and discussing with my uncles and elders etc, it was agreed that whatever was on the list should be converted to cash, this amounted to about 150k, and brought back to the family on a said day.
The choosen day came, my inlaws, and relatives from my mother's side also returned to my village to see my uncles, shared 8 cartoons of drinks and killed goat (paid for by my inlaws), presented the check to my uncles. Its upto them how the money was shared but that was how my trad held.

NB- They did ask that because i choose not to have a "ceremony", we would have to provide money to kill a cow so that they could share to the different households in the village around christmas time which we did.

My hubby is 11 years older than i am. been married 9 yrs + now. i was in my teens when we started dating whilst he was in his 20's

here: Imagine the fate of a widow of such union,ignorant and has no help.
I saw a case of an eastern woman married to another faith in Kaduna,immediately the man died her inlaws came from Nasarawa to take all the kids back to the family house from her.Reason: she didn't convert and they don't want her children to take off with her as their brother's children cannot be allowed to practice her religion.They didn't even ask how she was going to fend for herself and her children taken from her.
But if there were plans by both should such occur maybe she wouldn't be in such case,but we detest such plans;like here assuming that there shouldn't be a problem but there are very many,yes we cannot plan enough but couples must plan

inter - religious marriages are completely different from inter tribal marriages. As a matter of fact, its easier to deal with ethnic issues than religious issues. That the hubby was happy with the kids practicing their mother's religion doesn't mean the hubby's family will accept that.
I know a family and have also seen and heard many cases where Muslim inlaws take the kids off the christian mothers because they don't want them practicing Christianity after their son's death despite the fact that the said son was happy for his kids to practice whatever religion they wanted to practice (and ultimately decide which religion they choose when they became adults). Its something that is very common with Muslims irrespective of whether they are Hausa/yoruba or middlebelt Muslims.
And as a matter of fact, i think in this day and age, we have seen enough of religious wars home front and abroad to make informed decisions when choosing a patner that i think if you choose to marry someone who practises a different religion from you, then be ready to face whatever consequences that follows the choices you make (irrespective of whether they are a jimjim person or not today cos you never know the spirit that would enter them few years after marriage)

You say u want to be a man yet u are asking for 3k upkeep a month from ur dad? U r also asking him 2 buy u clothes yet u want 2 b a man U my dear are just a boy. Very immaturr, spoilt with some wierd sense of entitlement.
Do u realise that some people go 2 work everyday n get paid 5k at d end of d month? They commute/pay rent n children's fee 4m dt income?
Heres an idea seeing as u dont want 2 b ideal at home,
a: wash peoples cars in ur neighborhood 4 cash
B: Learn 2 draw at home
C: join dem bricklayers who work n get paid 500naira per day....see how long you'll last and sweat 4 ur money. That way u will know whether clothes r more important or nit
Ur mates r flipping burgers in kfc, stacking shelves in asda n cleaning toilets 2 earn a keep for their expenses whilst u r more concerned in demanding 4 pocket money 2 "hangout n show off".
If d money is dt important 2 u, m sure theres enough suggestions here 4 u 2 choose from ranging from manual 2 robbery. The life is urs 2 live n ur mistakes 2 regret

Hmmmm may God help u

You may not like this but whilst your hubby was harsh with his words, he probably is right. For every choice u make, there r consequences either good or bad.
I think it is silly of you 2 fall pregnant whilst you are both doing ur masters abroad. Obodo oyinbo life e hard (u shld know anywsy since na dia u dey). Theres contraceptn which u cld hv used 2 prevent belle seeing as u had planned 2 come n stud.
Its irresponsible 2 b jobless (ur so called biz isnt earning enough besides who do u think will employ u wt big belle?), studying wt a toddler n then expecting another.
Did u consider how disruptive this will be 2 both u n ur hubby's education?
Was d 2nd pregnancy planned n agreed or u just decided 2 carry belle because u want 2 born pikin abroad or because ur mates that married same month with u hv dropped 20 kids n so u decided 2 compete wt them?
Its hard enough studying in d uk wt as a single person wt all d sch stress, financial demands etc then theres u, a toddler n another baby on d way.
Ur hubby is thinking childcare fees/rent/council tax/bills/ diapers etc n still struggling 2 combine sch.
And as 4 ur msc, how do u intend 2 combine dt wt motherhood wen u drop? Part time jobs r not easy 2 come bye in dis economic climate.
My advise 2 u is suck it up n focus on been healthy thru d remaining months of ur pregnancy whilst studying hard because if u fail/withdraw 4m studies now, all ur effort will b in vain + ur hubby's mouth wont rest either.

its called Werewolf Syndrome.

@ op - but you already said it initially, he IS going to naija, he IS tired of talking over the phone and feels its best to talk with them face to face so what else do you want from him? to start fighting them over the phone?
He has told you all there is to say. He's parents dont approve of a foreign bred wife (shocker), you the foreign bred wife wants him to fight his parents decision (reason why the parents wont approve of their son marrying a foreign bred (dem neva marry u yet u de push ur bobo to fight im parents) hmmmm.
You just have to believe him, chill and wait till you meet them by christmas and make an impression (good or bad) or take the high way. It is what it is.
And frankly, if i were your boo, i wont fight for you in front of my parents if as my girl u are instigating me to fight and resist my parents even when you havent met them yet!!
its easier for a naija man to defend his wife in front of his extended family than a girlfriend. emphasis on "Wife".

@ op - i think you are self centred and selfish (sorry to say). Would you get married to someone without at least a half hearted approval of your parents? in your other topic you berated the same bf for not meeting your mother whom you said (is VERY IMPORTANT TO U) yet you want him to make a life long commitment, life changing decision, family changing decision to you without getting their approval?
https://www.nairaland.com/1268463/boyfriend-wont-meet-parents-why

who do you think sponsored his phd in the states or paid towards the deposit for the home he bought? Your boyfriend isnt lying to you when he said he needs his parents approval. regardless of whether he is 30yrs or 13yrs as an african raised child (yep you will always be a child to your parents) issues such as marriage involve the entire family. If indeed you were brought up the naija way as you claim then this isnt something you would find difficult to believe nor should it come as a surprise to you.

Might i also add, that if his family have had 2 divorces from oyinbo bred daughter inlaws, then you are in for a lonnnnngggg hurdle as you have to convince his parents and possibly extended family members. I am sure you can confirm with your "naija" parents who brought you up "naija" style to help you clear any doubts

a child that hasnt been trained at home would be trained by "Outsiders". there is an african proverb that says, it takes a village to raise a child. If the parents are not training the child properly then society would help them.
When my son was 2 yrs old, we never used "shut up" on him (we still dont use it), instead we use "keep quiet". And despite the fact that he's been brought up in a western environment, i would like to think he is quite respectful to all around and we have managed to instill the "dont talk back at your elders" african shish.
Before your cousin flares up, she should ask herself, if her son had said shut up to her in the public or said it to her mother in the public, would she be huffing and puffing and angry as she is now? in all honesty?

The child is obviously towing the spoilt brat lane otherwise, children that age, scream for attention and once you tell them sorry they keep quiet but a child that carries on screaming till he gets home is intentionally pulling the strings of his folks......

@ OP - Medically, a negative test is less reliable than a positive test. Its rare to have false positive pregnancy tests however there are instances where you can have false positives such as when you've had an ectopic pregnancy, early miscarriage or you take some fertility hormone meds such as clomid, pregnyl etc
I would suggest you go for a scan as if indeed you are pregnant, a heartbeat should be picked up during a scan about 8 weeks into the pregnancy. I wish you the joy of fruitfulness in your marriage

My opinion is this (based on my years of experience in marriage & what i have observed from other married couples), dont get married to someone hoping certain character traits would improve or disappear. Marriage is kind off "sold as seen". What you see is what you get. Its true that some people change with time, its also true that some people dont change. They say marriage is for better for worse. Its bad enough that less temperamental couples go through rough patches where 1 or both of them would want out how much more when you are putting yourself in line for "happily ever after" with a potential hot headed spouse.
A violent woman that hits a man she isnt married to is the type that wont hesitate in ripping your clothing apart in a public place. Now tell me what type of morals or values would she instill in your children? What kind of home maker would she be? what type of marital bliss do you think you would get from such a person?
Make what you wish out of these but remember to be man enough to stand the consequences of whatever decisions you make,

@ Poster - You are a poke nosing inlaw and should really learn to mind your business. WHo are the "WE" you keep referring to in this matter? Clearly this "WE" doesn't include your brother or his wife.
I would tell you the legal implications of your actions, You have breached @ - Patient Confidentiality by having a copy of someone else's medial records, You have breached the right to privacy and family life of that of your brother and his family (am sure the family lawyers in the house can add more to this).
It is evident that you carried out this DNA test without your brother or sister in law's knowledge. Who gave you the right to put their child through a medical test without the parents consent? Have you considered the fact that your brother might have suspected his wife's infidelity and they may have resolved this issue amongst themselves?
You are shamelessly here saying WE have decided to drive her away, we want to punish the pastor but what if her husband (my brother) refuses.
Your joblessness and busybody nature has made you go to an extreme length. You really ought to be ashamed of your actions. Your sister in law made a vow TO her husband and GOD not to you and the extended family members. if anyone should feel hurt or betrayed it shouldnt be you.
I suggest you find ways to occupy yourself and butt out of couples/extended family affairs

SeanBell: Anyone north of the uk?
Please mums after the plantain gist can you give tips to a new mom on raising a kid here?I dont have a brother so i have no clue as to how to raise a boy child.plus financial investments for him?what account is best for him etc

What can I do to get rid of this infantile eczema?have been to the Gp twice and got epaderm.its not working.bought aqueous cream but it contains Sls so cannot use.I swear that i smelt alcohol when the 2nd gp i saw was talking,he also said they rarely see african babies so he just told me it will go on its own .Im planning on waylaying a dermatologist tomorrow(Dh colleague) cos b4 they refer,wahala.Im so distressed when I look at the babys face(the miserable rain isn't helping either).he now has patches on his cheeks and chin.

Couple more years before he starts school but what and what should I look out for?
And if we eventually move to England,please where is the best place for a young family with the best schools?

Hi Seanbell, i live in northern england with my family and we have a few african shops here where i shop for our foods, i also source for them from the big asian stores as most of our garri, poundo, beans flour and semo can be found there at a cheaper price.
as per your son's skin, well my son hasnt got eczema but does have very sensitive skin that flares up in rash and i use palmers lotion on him, this was recommended by boots. from birth i used johnsons natural olive baby lotion and then we moved onto e45 cream, then boots botanical..... they've all been good on his skin. the e45 was recommended by boots skin specialist so i would suggest you take him into boots and ask their skin specialists for what u can use for his eczema or seek a second opinion from a pharmacist (go to any of the bigger stores). Good luck.

I pray for their families left behind, especially the wives and children who sooner would be forgotten by the same people that they died protecting, the govt, the nation, the extended family members. I pray God (whichever God they believe in) gives them grace to bear this loss, and strengthens them in trying times. I was only 6yrs old in 1992 when i lost my father, my younger brother was only 9 months old, we went through life, failed promises etc but thank God for been faithful, for a wonderful mother who was loving when she needed to be, strong when she had to be, tough when it was required, today we are alive and blessed.
Rest in Perfect peace our fallen heroes

I will tell you that jobs are hard to come by, so also is keeping a job. There isnt an easy job. Even oil/banking/political jobs have alot of stress attached to it. If you are complaining that you work in the rain and sun (yet you hv a guaranteed income montgly irrespectively of your target met) i am sorry to say this; you are LAZY. Very lazy and a typical epitome of the nigerian graduate who feels the world owes them the right to a cushy, well paying stress free job.
Do you know how many hours the kids who hawk water/buns etc put in daily even at the weekends all for a meagre 200# naira at the end of the day? In the rain, sun, cold, they endure daily hazards like people stealing their wares, sexual harrassments from all sorts, injuries from feckless drivers.
Let me give you examples of life in d uk, there are people who work odd jobs in freezing conditions (-4 degrees typical weather condition for my city) here and end up sleeping on a couch at the end of the night just so they can save up and send money to take care of their responsibilities back home as well as meet the demands of extended family members/relatives like you.
I would advise you to suck it up, man up, stop acting like a spoilt child and learn to be thankful that you have a job despite your little work experience instead of conplaining that they didnt give you a car. Do you think its cheap maintaining a car? You need to stop this attitude of self entitlement and change your mentality. For someone who has already earned 600k in 6 months and cant boast of a 5% savings na wa o. Afraid she is catching me (as sum1 i know wld say).
Take what u can if u can from my words and i wish u well.

Mgbeke Poosie: Tufiakwa!
Only a NIGERIAN man can do such a thing ke. . .By abandoning both wife and children to run follow another remnant toto aka 'first love'!

I don't know any of my EXs I can leave my husband for o. . . for one MY HUSBAND'S PEHNIS IS FARRRRRRRRRRRR BIGGER!
They were only useful those days. . .when any kind of blokos could size my extremely TIGHT POOHSIE.
Not now o. . . .
Wetin I wanno take OLD ROTTEN SHRIVELLED BLOKOS. . .wey anoda woman don take clean toto born 5 children do?
JAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LE! I 'taste' him once in a while to spice my 'STALE' marriage.

They are all WAAAAAAAAAAY too broke to meet my financial needs!I GET MONEY PASS ALL OF THEM. . . NO EXCEPTIONS!
NA LOVE I GO TAKE FEED MY CHILDREN?
Rubbish!

Sorry. . .I only do LOADED SUGAR DADDIES(i use their money to FEED MY HUSBAMD ke! ). . . not BROKE-AZZZZED EXES STRUGGLING IN THE DIASPORA LIKE MYSELF. . . sucking totos online to feed their families!

Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeew! SAY WETIN HAPPEN?
Na juju?

Hheheheeeeee, this is Calloti, definitely - nobody else but her

i am so sorry i cant get past the user name. heheheheeeeee. i would make some meaningful comment but with a username like that, its hard to take you serious
so sorry if you are offended

PS: Shave/wax that region pls

My brothers and i bore our grand parents name i.e my father's surname, however when my dad died, we were still very young, 10, 8, 6yrs and 9months old, my mum changed our surname to my dad's firstname however she still bears my dad's surname till date but all our documents passports, sec school & uni documents reflect my father's first name as our surname.
so say i was Natasha Forum and my dad's name was Nairaland forum, My brothers and i now bear Natasha Nairaland whilst my mum still bears Mrs Forum.
Initially, my uncles and aunties kicked against it but today we are all grown and fairly okay, and though its over 20yrs since he died, his name is very much alive and his legacy lives on through us cos they now refer to us as ****'s children rather than .....

I waited till the wedding night to do the deed. My hubby didnt have much issue with waiting either because he's God fearing but there was alot of "ahem ahem" such as sucking/Oral Shags by both until d wedding night oh. so bearing in mind this, i kind of think i was able to see what i was signing upto for life

angelhair: You don't understand. Read my initial t well well. I said I thre him out of the house, we fought, he begged, his mum begged for him, I opened his nyash in the office, it was public disgrace. The matter cooled down for over a year now. He is "talking to her". Not sleeping with, just talking. But it is cos he loves her that he cannot let it go. She has moved on, married, kid, but he hasn't . The relationship was for 3 yrs and he is having a hard time forgetting her. @ DrMary, my hisband and I are very close. We do almost everything together. Go ti work, go to movies, spend the weekend away from the kids. Our close friends have no idea what is going on. I mean we spend plenty time together, the sex is good. I'm involved in his business, he's involved in mine we spend major time together. I guess when I'm not there he gets lonely and remembers his love and calls her. Its really sad.

AHh, i see, my level of sympathy for you is reduced. You say he is talking not sleeping with her? You are so blinded by love that you let it cloud your judgement. Unfortunately you are in love with someone who's heart is already taken! You are d option not the priority. He isnt shagging her "yet" probably becos she doesnt want to or perhaps d environment hasnt presented itself. I am sorry for you but if you choose to remain in that marriage, i suggest you emotionally WEAN yourself off that woman's love you call ur hubby becos i dont think he would get over her! its unfortunate children are involved and i can bet you if that woman's marriage pack up today, your hubby would run to be with her and abandon you.
i wish you well in all you do

for me, i dont know what i would do if my hubby cheated on me (9yrs + of marriage and a kid), so i cant advise you on what to do. I would say this however, what i would do would depend on my relationship (i mean our mood/feelings/interactions) leading up to the time i make this discovery, it could also depend on his attitude towards me however i might forgive him and consider giving him another chance, after all people make mistakes but if he is IN LOVE with another woman, damn, dts a very bitter pill for me ooooh. hhmmm, i would struggle to even look him in the eye not to talk of going away for a romantic weekend to rekindle shittttttt!!!!!
My dear, i dont envy you at all and waoh, i pray God gives you wisdom to do whats right, whatever that might be.

This is an insensitive topic i must add, very insensitive. why do most men get fat after marriage? WHat is their excuse? Atleast women go through hormonal changes, childbirth, relocating (due to hubby changing jobs etc) what's men excuse. You have no right and i repeat NO right to complain that your wife is fat if you have added weight after marriage especially. You will see their bellies competing with a 7 month pregnant woman. the flat tummy they have has been replaced with calabash even before madam puts to bed.
And before you complain and compare black women to white women you should also compare yourselves (you men) to the white men, they remain virtually the same size years after marriage.
and to the unfaithful supporters brigade, who say that if you dont remain the same size 0 you were (pre marriage//pregnancy) when hubby was wooing you then you would "push" him to go for slimmer girls afterwards, well, eventually, the slimmers girls do grown "fat" after awhile.