₦airaland Forum

This is getting out of hand.

MT:
@wumiabo,

You have started what I regard as my "BEST THREAD" ever on Nairaland. I totally agree with everything you raised in your thread. Let me make refernce to some specific statement :

A lot of people have told me here in the UK that the main reason why they do not want to go back home is what people will say when they get back home. Even, some people say they can't stay more than a month in Nigeria because they do not want people to have the notion that they are deported. I consider this ridiculous. It's meant to be my life and not another person. I could remember being in Nigeria one time, and I spent about 3 months, a lot of the people around me were gossiping about me that I had been deported, but who cares?. Until we are able to stand for what we believe in, i don't see any progress in sight

This is really the truth!. A loT of people drops out from Uni or Poly because they want to come abroad, with the believe that when they get there, they will come and "hustle" and use the proceed to fund their school. When they eventually get here, reality dawn on them. They can't move forward, and they wont want to go back to Nigeria, knowing fully well that they will have to start their Uni from the scratch , and moreso, it will amount to a huge shame among their friends. So many brilliant chaps are really wasting away due to this fact. Besides, some people are very comfortable back home, they relocate here only to see that all the hype about abroad IS a mirage. I think we must all learn that sometimes our decisions could be wrong, but we MUST not find it too hard to RETRACE our steps no matter how painful it could be.

A trained lawyer in Naija doing care work abroad, to me is a degradation. Argue it from today till tommorrow, I wont shift my stance on this. There's a difference between a professional and layman. Imagine Gordon brown's Children , or Tony Blair's or even Obama's doing all these "odd" jobs. You wont find any of the elite children there. Call it "Nigeria" mentality, i dont care. What is the essence of a job that you are doing that negates all the values in you. Something that wont bring fulfilment but rather allow you to live from hands to mouth. Something you cant tell pple in Naija that this is what you are doing. or who prays to spend fortune on his child's education that at the end of the day , he will use such certificate to be a rubbish collector ??

Lastly, any one is free to choose his/her own destiny but I feel we must choose rather wisely. I will rather prefer to be a fulfilled professional in Nigeria than being a dish-washer, dog-walker, train-cleaner and any other menial jobs you could think of abroad. A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE!

You have a professional job in Nigeria, like being a lawyer and you are owed three months salary. An opportunity arises for you to move abroad, will you decline it?

defamation.

BLS1:
What a wonderful thread and God bless you for bringing this wonderful story back to life, for me at least.

Amen! Some people have expressed the same sentiments on the board as you may have read and several have contacted me on Yahoo messenger about it too. I even got an email from a Cameroonian who lives in France about this topic. Well, like I wrote, I read "The African Child" during my teenage years. Never ever thought I will know about this couple. So, how I stumbled upon "The Writings of Camara Laye" by Adele King, seemed a bit incredible, but true. When I saw it at my friend's place just lying there (we were classmates and he was a day-student while I was visiting him from boarding house) at his house, I think my first reaction was "What is this book doing here?" Then I read the story. Indeed, it was nice at first, the story of the son of a blacksmith falling in love and and eventually marrying the daughter of a medical doctor (her father was half-french). I became engrossed in the story till I flipped to the last page and read of their divorce. What came on my mind was, "Is there a force in the universe that is responsible for breaking up love stories?" Because some of them for unexplainable reasons always have sad endings. There is a footnote in that book that talks of how his grandfather saved the life of Toure's grandfather (I have forgotten the details).

bongolistik:
If we are not careful, Our next Generation
Kids will learn A,B,C,D...
this Way:
A is for ATM
B is for Bluetooth
C is for Chatting
D is for Download
E is for Email
F is for Facebook
G is for Google
H is for Hotmail
I is for instagram
J is for Java
K is for Konga
L is for Laptop
M is for Mtn
N is for Nokia
O is for Opera mini
P is for Pixmix
Q is for Quick time
R is for RAM
S is for Skype
T is for Twitter
U is for USB
V is for Vista
W is for WhatsApp
X is for Xender
Y is for Yahoo! and
Z is for Zuma
Thats what dey now teach in some schools...

What's wrong with this? It's hightech, move with the times.

Read this:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celestial_City,_Imeko

She is going places.

tpiar:
ok

Are you tpia2 also?

tpiah2:
You said you're from Akwa Ibom , I'm sure I saw that somewhere.

Hence, that makes me an Ibibio (not Efik) man. Calabar is Efik.

Quite similar to the story of "The Good Samaritan" in the Holy Bible.

itstpia8:
I thought you said you were Efik.

No where did I say that I am Efik. I grew up in Calabar though.

Only heard that Samuel Crowther translated the Holy Bible into Yoruba. Never heard of him translating it into Igbo.

vanity.

pDude:
So dude you are repping California buy you never told is the pros and cons. Now let me state them from my experience.

Pros: A highly diversified state with a Nigerian community which you can relate to.
-low food costs
-friendly people and neighbours.

Cons: highly aggressive law enforcement officers
-horribly hot weather (it doesn't rain or snow on California)
-high crime rate and gangstarism (forgive my English)
-high cost of living
-the state of California is broke and the economy is terrible.
-transport system here isn't too good.
-racism
Etc

Dude, I'm leaving this California and moving to Texas. It's better down south.

No, it does rain in California, fortunately it doesnt snow.

It's true, school fees back home are a drawback, cos what's gonna happen in case of a layoff, how will you pay your children's school fees? One has to think twice before relocating.

This may sound unbelievable but this is a true story. When I was a child, my parents brought back loads of fishes from the Calabar Itu Bridge and stored them in the freezer. One of the mouth of the fishes was still moving even when it was stored in the freezer. I saw it!

Rapmoney:
I saw this today along Effurun-Sapele Road, close to Water Resources Junction. See what students now do just to get to school! I think it is funny but also risky!!! The tricycle rider was being helpful but his 'kindness' could turn to troubles if caught by the police

How is it funny?

bigheart2013:
Sorry to bother good nairalander again with another thread back-to-back. Please help me solve this puzzle. Why is that each time someone helps most (not all) Nigeria woman it ends up either in a drama, scandal, enmity or chaos?

Here are some examples:

1. I opened this thread because a friend helped a Nigerian lady get a job in a big firm in Nigeria. The lady resumed without even calling to update him. When the man asked her why, she said she was grateful but added that God only used my friend to help her, it wasn't by his own doing. It could have still happened through another person. My friend was shocked at this type of 'Thank You'
2. A man in USA who used his financial records to file affidavit of support for her niece in Nig to relocate to USA made news when he ended up in court and nearly ended up in jail, when the girl turned around to sue him for not supporting her financially in USA.
3. Some Nigerian men (not all) who trained their wives in school are regretting it today, after the said wife graduated and either dumped them or became very unruly when they start working.
4. Some people who opened businesses for their sisters in Nigeria are regretting it today, as they ended up enemies and insulted.
5. Some who gave gifts to female friends in Nigeria always have one story of ungratefulness or the other. They complained that generally most Nigerian ladies have a mindset that they get what they get because they are attractive women, and generally men are 'mugus' who spend on women to get something in return.

My Questions:

1. What is the cause of this general feeling of ungratefulness, and how can we change the mindset of our sisters to start being grateful?
2. What is the best way to give a Nigerian lady a helping hand without attracting these types of ungratefulness, since some of us either still have females we are helping or intend to help?
3. How should one react when one's help is either misinterpreted or treated with ungratefulness, without ending it in drama or enmity?


Update 1, Nov 4, 2013: I wish we don't turn this into bashing of Nigerian women. I asked 3 specific questions to see how we can train the mind of some sisters to see the benefits of being grateful, to teach brothers how to give the right way, and how to handle disappointments when they come. I pray we focus on that to make this thread more constructive.

Always helped somebody to get a job in a "big firm" (Not small firm.)

Tell that to Oprah, Zuckerberg . . .

Why are some people so quick to look down on certain aspects of their culture?

Not funny at all. It's crass, if that's what they can afford, so be it. Never laugh at people, particularly the unfortunate ones. It's RUDE!

A website is discrediting that Trump made this racist statement. Read it.

http://www.snopes.com/donald-trump-africans-lazy-stealing/

Never had a carryover back at Uniuyo. In my year 2, I narrowly missed carrying over a philosophy class to my year 3, just by a fraction. A great relief indeed and the lecturer for that course was feared on campus.

Stale.

diportivo:
Altho public schools dont make provisions for kindergarten, education is also free at the primary school level here.most states even do till secondary school

If it were good enough,private schools wont thrive.talkless of trying to outdo one another

My point is,u pay for quality education if u want one.and it starts at the preparatory stage

Public schools here in America are very good that it's pointless enrolling your children in a private school, especially if you live in a good school district, still, that doesnt mean that private schools are not thriving here in the USA.

Deplorable hostels, look at Ghanaian universities and their hostels, outfitted nicely unlike Nigerian universities hostels. A shame.

https://www.nairaland.com/2516470/pictures-university-ghana-beautiful-hostels

lonelydora:
In as much as i condemn the woman's action, you can never tell what the kid did to push the woman to that level of anger.

Children can be very stubborn at times, If you think i'm lying, go and watch the movie "ITORO"

heartless comment.

tpiar:
^how did that novel end? Its been long since I read it.

hope the stepmother didn't get rid of the lot of them?

clogs in the wheel of her progress.

Had a happy ending because Osifo ended up marrying Ndidi Amengo the step-daughter of the woman that her mother arranged to marry her dad. She, Ndidi, and her brothers had a great relationship with their step-mother who was also their age contemporary. As for the true life story, it did not have a happy ending. Step-mother became rude to the senior wife according to the daughter.