₦airaland Forum

My dear I have seen where both couples will agree to put their money together but las las the husband will occupy all the spaces and tell the wife that he is the head of the home and she has no right to spend a dime. Is that fare? Or he will be the one to buy stuff for her but she can’t buy what she desires to buy. How about that?

Makawhizzy:
There are no laws for finance management in marriage. What works best for a married couple is what they have both agreed on. Sir sir her down and both of you discuss how you intend to continue from this point onward concerning finances.
Bring options of joint account where each party contribute a quote of their earnings, option of your money belongs to everyone while she keeps hers, option of her money belongs to everyone while you keep yours, option of both of you are transparent and bring all to the table and both decide how to spend it together no matter who earns higher.
If the responsibility of white wedding is eating deep into your pocket bros cut the spending
My simple formula which worked for me was this is how much we are spending so everything must fit into the budget. If you bring an idea outside our budget to me as a friend or family member I’ll respectfully tell you to provide the funds for it and that’s where everyone keeps mute.
Wedding is just gonna end in less than 12 hours so don’t spend a year savings for that

God bless you my dear. But what about Husbands that keep imposing on their wives to do as asked by him(husband) wether she is happy or not, all he is bother about is that the wife should be bringing to their table but she has no right to spend it? When she want to do against him he tagged her evil or a devil or she is greedy or selfish, he doesn’t care how she feels his own to just to be the head of the home at all cost. What would you say about that?

donstan18:
Traditionally, a man is the chief sponsor of any wedding ceremony while the woman supports in a way she can. Reason, it's expected a man goes into marriage when financially stable and ready.

Allocating 50% to her passed a message that you'll be a type of husband who will be after the statistics of the wife's earning and spending. You sure wouldn't have done what you did if you hadn't any knowledge of her earning, you acted because you know her earning and that's a red flag for Nigerian ladies, because they don't like dragging and equal responsibilities in a home.

You don't go direct when you want a woman to contribute financially to something. You go Tactically[Not imposing, but asking how and where she can take care of, she'll choose, no matter the percentage of her choice, you lock up, keep the planning going, pretend like you are cool and then sketch out a personal plan of how to act worried and restless before her, she'll wanna know the problem, act like you wanna hide it from her, she'll be worried and pissed that you are hiding things from her, then you'll come up with a story and open up that you are facing financial crisis and don't know how to sort some things out concerning the wedding, she'll willingly help with pity without seeing you as a stingy or mean person]

No be everything dem dey form mancho, you go dey use your head.

You've spent on traditional wedding and for that not to be a total waste, kindly go and meet her, reason with her and go tactical, not directly with authority.

Happy married life in advance!

Hahahaha u want to see them naked ? Chaiiii my country people.

bluefilm:
Come OP, is that the picture you are supposed to post there?

Nonsense.

Am telling u. I hardly visit Nairaland to read news cos na so so bad news full everywhere and it’s affecting my Spirit man in a bad way. God help us o. RIP to the dead

Itslove2001:
Nigeria and badnews these days be like 5 and six

Your post caught my attention away from the rest. God bless you.

mechanics:
Hmmmmm, they are abusing the institution of marriage.

In support of God’s ministry. Faith without work is dead. The Lord strengthens you Sir.

I believe you have not found your purpose in life that is why you are saying that. But I encourage you to sit down and ask yourself about one thing that is fulfilling when you say or do that will torch someone’s life. I believe God will ask you same thing when you get to see him in Heaven but what will you say? Of course you cannot debate with him cos he is the creator of the universe. Don’t be sad or angry on God because of where he kept you, instead think of things to be done to make a change in peoples life. It could be ur family, community, church if u are a Christian, orphanage, the needy, sick people in the hospital, prisons, if u are working help that colleague who is depressed, etc. don’t complain, just get to work . Complain will keep u in one place but working will take u somewhere. I hope my advice helped.

vizkiz:
When I die and get to heaven, I really need to know what God’s intentions were for making me a Nigerian by birth.

I really need to know.

Why are you closing the doors of greatness against yourself using ur tongue? The same tongue you would have used to breath life in to your world. You can do better more than him trust me. I pray that you succeed so that you will live the kind of life u want, make sure u call me o.

Davidwilliam101:
God punish poverty

Some people now are looking for good husbands to care for them this much but the wives are messing up. Where as some husbands cannot and can never allow their wives to torch the families money. It’s so pathetic honestly. God help us please.

franchasng:
When I read stories like this about men marrying the wrong wife, and people complaining of marriage being hell and all those negative things, all I do is thank God for my awesome wife that has made me the happiest man on earth.

And I keep wondering how guys end up marrying the wrong women, it really beats my imagination to be honest.

A friend of mine was complaining to me yesterday that his wife he is living with abroad and left in the country to return home for Xmas to complete the house he is building in Nigeria called the wife to send him 1million Naira from the 2million 500k he left in his account over there because the wife also have access to his account and have his ATM there, and guess what

His wife said the money is finished lol

What did you used the money for She can't explain, just blabbing lol, the guy told me guy, I am tired of the marriage, my wife keep blowing money away on her family and things I can't even tell, I was just listening with shock.


Nigerian ladies make una change oh, be a virtuous woman na, how can so many Nigerian men be complaining everyday, are they all mad, it means something is wrong somewhere with some of our Nigerian ladies, its a pity man, take heart

Sir if I may, please don’t open it too wide; since ur family members are aware of the issue I think it’s enough for now. But I want to suggest something; she is ur wife and she fail to respect your figure as the head of the home even when u are putting ur best to make life comfortable for her, I plead with u to treat the issue as her husband and not base on family advice cos I understand that you listen to people around u since it was someone who advised u to marry her being a good lady. First and foremost is she from a poor background ? If yes then I think she needs a mild punishments. Is she from a rich family? If yes then I think she needs a serious punishment one that will leave her a changed person completely to the extent that when she sees ur money she will be the one to tell u where it is. But if she refuses to learn either rich or poor then u can do your worst. But remember forgiveness is very very important in the lives of Christians. Thank u

So sorry for your loss dear. Meanwhile please tell your family members the issue at hand for future security. It happens to me years ago and up till date I can visit my elder Sisters house but not to sleep over there.

I say sorry and keep silent. It helps a lot.

Good health, peace of mind, my marriage is growing like a new planted garden, success, protection, promotion, presence of God in everything that I do. If I count them all, enemies of progress will start getting jealous and will start planning evil against me. God be praised.

It’s simply laziness. But I do pray for new promotions sha.

Complexion o, ugly o, e no matter. What matters is that they have been together for 16 yrs and that’s the most beautiful thing. Marriage is not an easy thing. Happy anniversary Mr and Mrs Elliot

Wether this thread is true or not, I completely agree with keeping ur secret to urself. That’s why I DON’T post anything that will make my enemy use it against me.

I love this, this platform is blessed. I like the fact that we use this medium to help those who are in need or in danger. Long live NL

Must u joke about everything? May God have mercy on us .

motionarena:
Bang enough kpekus

Flexherbal:
Nigerians matter too dey hard!

i completely agree with u. To be honest what is wrong with what she is wearing? May be the person want her to dress like Nigeria home video where u wear high heel and dress serious even in the comfort of ur home. Nna ehnnn

Lovely. My dream is to give birth to triplet or twins God helping me

But for the fact that this man has many wives and is old enough be her father should scare her to the borne marrow not to marry him. Is money this ugly for people not to see the truth?

bluefilm:
The man looks like a burnt offering.

Tufiakwa.

kai EWO.............. hahahahahahahaahhahaaahaahaha have mercy now, e too much for the man o

This is injustice ABU. Fear God o

LabDNA:
Impossible.

My car got scratched the same day I painted it.

kpele o. I understand ur pain

Happy birthday Sir. Age with grace

I think if u propose the second time she will accept for the fact that she don’t want to loose u. And about ur plans living the country I think u should tell her if u love her enough. Love is not all about material things abeg.

Don’t look for a woman that loves u more than u do, look for a woman that is respectful, submissive, prayerful and hard working. That’s all u need. U are the one to love her has the Bible asks u to do. We keep reading the Bible inside down. U are to love she is to be submissive shikenan

There are only two keys to ur marital problems, first u need to be submissive to ur husband. Total submission means if he ask u to do something do it and if says don’t do it then don’t do it. Secondly u need to go to God in prayers, u need to surrender ur marriage, ur husband to God for him to do the fixing. Women who are married are facing challenges in their homes fail to understand one secret and the secret is respect and submission to their husbands. U don’t expect God to listen to ur prayers when u don’t listen to ur husband. Once upon a time I use to talk back to my husband but I realized that I was harming him. So I came up with a plan with and I ask God to lead me which he did. Today am enjoying my marriage and my husband. Infact my husband forgets himself all the time and focused on me, sometimes I would b the one to tell him daddy do this for urself and forget about me. Give him peace, support the little he is doing because at some point it will look like the little he is doing is not enough that is y u are looking for a job and men hate the fact that their wives c less of them performing at home. Appreciate him, love him, listen to him, pray for him and support him trust me it’s more than going to a native doctor collecting juju. I quarantine u, u will be surprise. And concerning ur daughter draw his attention on the Bible verse that talked about using a rod on a child and if ur husband fail to understand that discipline then live him to God besides he is not hurting u but rather hurting God because this is God’s order on child discipline. I hope my advice helps

When I first started reading ur post I was expecting to hear the good part of it at the end put u messed things up by saying the woman in question should threatened her family in order to get quick marriage. But is that the way? What if something went wrong and the husband ask her to live or insult her base on what happened during the process of the wedding? God favored u but it seems like u want to abuse the favor by giving bad advice to people. Be careful my dear brother. A word is enough for the wise.

Wow congratulations, beautiful family. The Lord bless baby on the way. Happy for u.

Congratulations o

I have seen something similar to this on tv and God miraculously heal that’s persons growth. If u are a Christian then I suggest u equip urself with knowing the word of God, go through Bible verses on healing and u will receive ur perfect healing just as I saw it on tv. With God all things are possible, doctors may not have all the answers they are human just like every body