₦airaland Forum

Life will become full of worst, u will lose everything just stick to it

, that is the real meaning of "Better for worse" abi?

@jidegirl12:

u are right in your analysis but
Dont u think things like name calling and hurtful words can be treated as misunderstanding which are common in marriages.

Almost everything is leading to divorce or is it a norm now?

hahahah, like someone always giving excuse with, oh i was about doing it when u called or came in or whatever. I use it sometimes to save face toooooo, but its annoying really.

I was about,
I can get angry about this ooooooooo. Always about to!

Of recent, the issue of abusive marriage has been over rated.
Couples now seek for divorce on different grounds.  such as:

-Name calling and yelling at  public places or at home

- Negligence (Whatever that means)

- Shouting and emotional intimidation; etc.

I want to know your own context of "Abusive marriage"

Hmm Send her to school, send her to school everywhere!

ok oo. @ poster, u did not say if she feels the same way u do for her. Its just a month relationship and u hv already known everything about her. hmm. Life and marriages are farther than the eyes can see.

She may be one of the few good girls yes! i wd advice u play the role of a mentor for now. If she is already learning fashion designing on her own believe me she has plan for her life, help her to achieve it.

if her educational status can scare u then u dont love her enough.

Outstrip:
I totally agree that you cannot be as free with your mother in law as you would your mother. Anybody that says other wise is lying. The point I was making was that if you want your mother to stay with you for one month then you should be okay with his mother staying the same amount of time. That is the only fair thing. If your mother can grow old in your home then so can his own mother

You are quite right what is good for my mum is good for my MIL too. And believe me u have a more healthy relationship in marriage when as a wife u are able to play fair to both families. Hope u are doing great 2day.

Outstrip:
I don't think you answered his question

relatively I did Outsrip.  Though i am not to answer for the original poster.  for me neither would stay as much as she wants except my hubby and I are comfortable with their staying. We determine how long we want u to stay.

No matter how u wish to present it,  you cannot be so free with you mother in-law as your mother especially in some standard family values in your home.

I know u agree with me oh jare

[quote author=beknown
Would you say the same for your mother-in-law (husband's mum)?
[quote][/quote]There is always this hidden unacceptance between MILs and
DILs

Very many cant live together, I consider my Mum very peaceful but i wont advice my sister in-laws to have her for a long period, one has to guard her marriage with wisdom.

Chuck D:
depends on "who" she is and why she's there in the first place. if she's sick and peace-loving and you're to take care of her because she needs close attention, she can stay until she get's better. if she's again peaceful and gets along well with your spouse and helps out with stuff thus relieving you of some stress, she can stay long enough. bottom line is - she must be peaceful, loving, mind her business if it's important and not lazy else, na one week max.

you are just correct.

My  MIL is a boss but i can manage her attitude  and to compliment my hubby's acceptance of my mum - one month

My hubby is more relaxed with my mum but I would not want her to stay more than two months on a good day to avoid biased assumptions by my MIL.

My mum, my closest girlfriend.  I miss Calling her by her name whenever I want to play some pranks hahahahaha

Whenever i come back we would gist of everything and do kitchen affairs till late nite while  laughing like really girls.

HMmmmmmmm


CHIZITEREM- Mostly called Chizzy- meaning sent by God

Chisimdi---- God Kept me

Ebube Chukwu-- God's Glory

my best is: Kamsiyochukwu- shortened -Kamsy- meaning -Just as I asked of God

oP: I dont think baby is gender sensitive. we call each other baby with this sound(Beibi) and he loves it. but trust my hubby, he can call u more than 5 names if u dont answer fast

what affects the prices of roofing materials mostly is festivity. Building materials tend to be higher within November and February. My experience so far points to those months.

The best time to roof a house is within the months of March to May and August.

I dont want to say Rainy season or dry season but the main reason is to be able to have a healthy roof. Roofing a house starts from the woodwork. Its not good to expose rafters(woodwork) to heavy rainfall since the roof materials( Long span or coated tiles) would be laid on them. secondly, before u could be sure the roofing materials are either properly lapped or that all holes resulting from removal of nails are sealed, you have to allow a reasonable amount of rainfall else the POP and or any other ceiling material would be affected.

Welcome back RMD!  

He is one man I wd love to watch again and again.  He sure knows how to interprete characters.

It depends on the people involved, thier understanding of marriage and their orientation on family life. When children are involved, they maybe stucked but first thing first, no one forces anyone to be married or remain married. Its a personal decision.

LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! There are so many things that can bring down love in marriages. if love fails try UNDERSTANDING and RESPECT .

Real tough end!

-I think you should call your mum and talk to her and also tell her to convince u with her reason of hating the girl or let you be. Her bad character, bad cook, ugliness are ur problem but your goodhealth and progress is every of your loved ones' problems.

-You should also get to the root of the "marry her die young" prophesy. As much as we try to use education to cover the reality of family spell, some are still real and one has to be sure, not that it can not be destroyed but "My people die for lack of knowledge". Ascetain if its real or false allegation.

-Marriage is between the man and the woman yet not without the extended families be wise and make sure there is as much peace as can make you peaceful in that marriage. I tell you onething, Its good the decision is finally made by you cos, what you are seeing now is just the introductory page of the marriage, other pages are still coming in the negative or positive so you need alll the manliness and faith to pull thru.

If u ascertain that its just the normal " I dont like her syndrome, then stand ur foot and marry her but if there is any thing about her background then u have a job to do to convience your family- Love is not enough in marriage issues, it can only help to some extent.

Like mypeace has always said on this forum, its all dependent on the structure and size of the company youa re working in. Yes there are always there is reason for that clause"and any other duty as assigned by my boss" Sometimes its could be so annoying but the beauty of it is that we are all moving higher.


@otilowaju: In the case of performing multi functions, all you need to do is delegate, monitor and inspire. Before the meeting time, make arrangement with the food vendour, delegate a staff to get the but be on the phone 24/7 to make sure u are in control. dont rely on the staff to make arrangements for u, sometimes its difficult as well dont get ur timing wrong. the food should be ready, the tea and everything u can go out to get must be in place so that all u would do is make calls at intervals to ascertain situational stability. I know how it feels but as a PA, u should also get rooted with event planning.

Wishing u better days in that office.

I would hv said a lot of things to u here but the link already given to u is a master peice.  If there is anything specifically u wish to know( I mean sometimes there are peculiar situations which u may be facing that require special attention then, i can come in)  But if you want to succeed or get yourself to the highest level in Secretarialship you must master the ethics.  Confidentiality, good judgemental ability, proficiency, loyalty and unbiased concience. Resoucefulness, result oriented and intergrity, diplomacy and a whole lot of them.  You can also take some free courses online that could help you improve urself.  www.alisononline.com. do courses on Corporate management, Administration and secretarial.

wishing u all the best.

really? I wont go there untill i see u hv finished ur reorientation course.

am i suprised? no. Bobby na dog name for whiteman land.

Dogray!

As i read thru this thread, i feel so sorry for what we call marriages today.

@ dayokanu- you made my day with ur comment.
@ Mutter, speechless, why? cos u hv always presented issues on marriages as if you had it all going, i now know source of ur strenght, keep it up.

@ Poster- Honestly CC is right, so many marriages, so many troubles, different different types and styles and you know what we are all battling for one issue or the other in our homes but do you know why most of people cant present it here, you even get more confused.

My advice is stick to Dayokanu's comment, you and you alone can fix your problems. Mutter is right, even your closest friend would gossip about it yet you have your life to care for.

I hv passed worse situation than urs, tears could not help, submission could not, love could not work untill i stood my ground and fight it out, its not very ok now but sure better than what i had.

Sit down and think, think, no decision is right but some are better than others. What do you want? what do u want for your children? how do u get it done? without this marriage who are u? with the marriage who are u? where is the place of your husband in your life. marriage is a kind of mixed fruit. Its not even better outside.

In all things i think u need one more step to take before u make any decision, after getting your tots together, call you husband and talk heart to heart with him with the mind to make the marriage work and remember that you are the wife when the discussion is going on listen more but make sure u speak your mind and let your decision be guarded by the outcome of that meeting. Its time to bare it all.

My guy forget all this "strangers" talk. Kidnapper are desperate people and they can do anything for money.

The young boy is smart enough to have taken the passport photo of the kidnapper.


[quote][/quote]From the story there was no FORCE in the first place, they only engaged him in a discussion. And loo he sold out his father. At 12ears? no not in this age. He only got his brain working when he saw himself in danger, well i commend him for making good that opportunity but he needs some spanking still. DONT GIVE OUT DETAILS TO STRANGER SPANKING!

@biscute,

I disagree with u. That boy is dull, we only thank God for sparing him. JSS-2 and yet gave out his fathers details to strangers. shuuuuuuu. One day thieves would knock on the door and he would open door and later pick their mask to identify them.

Parents should teach their children security measure atleast to keep them away from such risks. FBI ko FABIAN ni

Naming her "REVOLUTION" would have been better . Facebook ko, twitter ni

lancaster:
photoshopn or not was it photoshop that places a guys hand on the buttocks of a married woman in the full glare of the world(and the husband)

i think decency should be the watch word of some of these role-models cos her clothe is not even a good advert for her and she should know that she is not contesting with any body for 'miss sexy naija actress'' or any award,
she is not cool in these pics,fake or origi

Mind your language  how are they role models, I thought they call them celebrities?

This one is not funny! some of the wives even look like mother to the others. Ok look at the two women with black jacket at the top most. . I reject this type of blessing shaa!

@ poster,

To some extent i understand what u are passing through but common you are doing it wrongly too. What happens to drawing strenght from our parents weakness! If you cant build ur strenght from their weaknesses i bet you are planning to live like them.

Now what could sustain your strenght? Education, reorientation, self discovery and lots more. Who are you? At 23 you should know much about yourself, more on what you want in life and little about how to achieve them. Where are you now? What efforts have you made to make your life better, loosing focus would land you in more troubles my dear. Did i hear pack out of the house? All the time you lived in school, you were away from your parents, what effect does it have on you. The peace you are looking for is in your hands and in the hands of your destiny!

Take a walk to a quite place and ask yourself what u want? Answer your questions and come back to ask how do I achieve my heartdreams.

Please complete your education. Why? yes! you can only trust yourself for now. when you are through, you can join forces and train your siblings! What if you drop and they later fail to complete theirs too, you can be a model to them when u complete yours.

Well, you can go in for small business that wont interfer in your acadmics to keep body and soul together but not importation that you are not rooted in.

Calm down, there is still hope and very bright one at that! your anger and self hatred wont make things better. Learn to love yourself and think positive about tomorrow. You can reach for the " the poser of positive thinking" look around and get yourself a role model, go close and learn how he made it, Get closer to God too, love him like a father and hey, love your parents too, let them feel your love believe it there would be a new home in your family.

@ poster,

There is one thing i want u to have in mind, over the years, i have learnt ONE thing! No two marriages are the same, in problems, in issues, in progress and every other thing. What works in one marriage may be a doom in another. Have u experienced where a man tells his wife that "SHE IS TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT" meaning, do ur own things while i do my own things.

I want to agree u hv made good points here but there is no general rule for success in marriage.