₦airaland Forum

debbycreamy:
It was my mum that called to see all her children, no in-laws involved so i went alone. Everybody was asked to speak up on his or her own mind, that was were d peaceful meeting went bad. Some years ago when i was in school my brother helped me half of my school fee, he said i should have been going to his house to do chores for him because of d money, i went mad, 1. he has been mad at me all these years 2. I should have been enslaved to him because of half school fees. 3. He never called me to do any chore for him, my school was far from him, His reason for hating me all these years is baseless and when i spoke he wanted to slap me. My other two sisters, if u hear their reason u will know they have no sensible reason to attack me.


About me running to extended family when i have issues i still have 6 good siblings to lean on, so pls was my brother right?

Iam sure he did not say you should have been going to his house to do chores when you are already married. It must have been that you should have been going to do it when you were still in school and probably when you were on holidays.

Ordinarily, you should have just apologized to him and turn the whole thing to a joke like 'big bros, you know school was stressful now and moreover i did not have transport fare to come to your place. I no go mind to come now to do what i did not do then o but you go give me transport money to/fro o'.

Elder brother is elder brother anyday. E be like say you too self get strong head and you come be last born join. . Last born too get wahala.

Anyway, since you have other siblings that you are on good terms with, then nothing spoil but if that your brother is the only male, then just go apologize to him for peace to reign. Wetin dem dey take trouble do self?. I normally tell people that in a big nuclear family unit, everybody has his/her caucus or cabal.

debbycreamy:
hello nairalanders,



Pls i need matured advice from matured people, i went for a family meeting few weeks back and the meeting turned out to be disastrous because of me, 3 of my siblings attacked me with false allegations to the extend of insulting my husband and i and when i stood up to defend myself my brother said he will slap me, this thing happened about 2 weeks ago. Theses are people i have always loved and sacrificed for though i'm the last born, my immediate elder sister that i tell almost everything to showed me the dark side of her, keeping grudges of things that have past.


If not for my husband i would have gone insane, because of the love i have for them, my question is how do i relate with this people from now, i'm scared of communicating with them because they will negatively misinterept whatever i say, should i forget them? Should i forgive and act like they never attacked me? Will they repeat it in the future? Do they hate me without reason? pls talk to me, i'm happy with my husband, but the way they attacked me is affecting me, even in my dreams pls help me.

This your post and story is not complete and it is one sided. You did not mention what the family meeting was for. A family meeting with husband or wife present is not just called. Btw, a social visit by husband and wife to a family is not a family meeting. So tell us more.

I believe that people that are saying that you should just focus on your nuclear family and forget them are missing it. Marriage is not a bed of roses. When the chips are down, it is this same family that you will run to and not to the nuclear family.

proflomo:
I'm a newbie. Please sir, how do I go about buying the treasury bill? And how much is the minimum amount to invest in it?
Thank you.

The amount varies from bank to bank. You need to contact your bank to find out the minimum amount for TB.

xtosync:
Please an experienced person should help me on this o. I applied for Tbill at bank rate for 182 day at Zenith on 14th and my money was debited on 15th which is two days ago, but up till now no upfront interest have been credited in my account. How much more time will it take before I get it. Beside no notification on the debit of my investment. I only saw that the cash have been taken when I checked my balance on 15th. This is my first time. Should I be alarmed?

No. Wait till tomorrow. The bid was yesterday. It is today that the banks that were successful will be advised by CBN after which the bank will now advise you.

Plus10:
GTB could be anoying atimes...I bid for yestersday CBN aution for 365days.CBN rate for 365 is 15.0% but when I spoke with my account officer earlier on he said their bid is 14.5% and that's what I was going to be offered.Whereas Stanbic promises to offer me 15.0%. I am yet to be debited by GTB,please house should I transfer the cash and use it for Stanbic secondary offer of 365days at 15.0%...please I need your advice,GTB may debit me anything time from now.

That is why it is called a bid. You do not have 50m to specify your own rate. So you have to take whatever rate GTB bidded. What do you think would have happened if GTB had bidded 16% and it failed?. Na you go come shout say GTB no succeed with your bid. Even the 14.5% could have failed if CBN stop rate was 14.49%.

festusbiz:
Gud morning everyone. I would like to invest in the treasury bill. Pls. I need enlightenment on how to go about it. I have read tru this tread but still dont understand at all.

Since you have read through the thread, what aspect(s) do you not understand so that explanations can be given to you. Try to be specific.

Gavrelino123:
Lol...you have already commented......Happy new year bro...
Kindly,i submitted an instruction to GTBANK last week Friday to suscribe for secondary market,i was given 14.5% @ 355days...... I waited to be debited but to no avail....
I visited my branch them today....to write a fresh instructions for primary markets & my account officer told me that she my secondary market instructions have been transfered to Primary Markets....
What is your opinion on this..?
Because i don't want stories about my TB not treated..

How come they just transferred your secondary market request to primary market without instruction?. Just tell the account officer that if what he/she said is not true that the head office will get to know about it.

I had to transfer my TB funds at GTB on maturity to Stabic when i discovered that my account officer was no longer at my branch or no longer at the bank and the new account officer that attended to me said he will send me a mail on secondary market rates and availability but did not. I did not waste time in transferring the funds to Stabic as my account officer at Stanbic is very knowledgeable in TB. I now have my two TBs with stabic instead of the initial one at GTB and one at Stanbic. They now sent me an email this year with details of my account officer and other officers of the branch i can contact. I just file the mail for archive.

Let me wait till it gets to page 667 before i comment.

nifeseun:
Daycare ooo my sister, my son started pre school today sef, he came home mumbling a song, it is well, at least the school is close by and he closes around 2pm. Mil is happy now

The next meeting of her inner circle will be super special. It will be with extra bounce and smiles of 'my grandson has started school' during the meeting. Every phone call will also end with that phrase.

nifeseun:
Hubby started at 6month o, cos she was working

Shuooooo. wahala dey o.

Is it that he started school at 6 months or daycare at 6 months?. There is a difference.

LadySarah:
It depends on when they started and what name the school calls it.
When I enrolled my 2 Yr old in school,they called pre nursery busy bee,another school called it toddler class while the next school I made enquiries from called it activity and the other playgroup or whatever.causing confusion every where.
He is 3 now and in nursery one.
We relocated and the new school I enrolled them now calls theirs sensory motor,it WS the class his 2 Yr old younger bro will be .
The children that were rushed into school below 3 will still be met by those who stayed at home till 3 and these latter ones tend to excel more because they are mentally and psychological ly ready for it.

They just keep causing confusion everywhere but what .all explained to me was
Under 1 Yr:creche
1-2yrs--playgroup
2-3yrs--pre nursery
3yrs-4yrs- nursery and so on though depends on what your child is able to do as each class has its own target .

You hit the nail on the head. When my wife was pressurizing me to enroll our son in school because those he is senior to have started, i just ignored and told her the father of the son he is referring to started school before me but i graduated before him from the university. When my son now started from nursery 1 at age 3 and the man saw the speed with which he knew things that his son that has been in school did not know, he started blaming the school and i pointed out to him where the issues were. His second son did not start until he was 3.

nifeseun:
I wish i can let my son stay at home till age 3, but he doesn't take me serious when I want to teach him and some pple, xpecially my mil is already complaining that am keeping her grandson at home at 2.

He doesn't take you serious because he is still at the playful age. He has not yet reach the age of learning. Your mil should just relax. Iam sure she wants to go and 'boast' to her inner circle that 'my grandson has started school'. When she pressures you again, tactically ask her the age your husband(her son) started school.

nifeseun:
What happened to kg classes... they start with kg 1 and kg 2 before Nursery.

My kids did not do kg classes as i did not consider them as that important. I was after development of the brain and maturity. They did their kg classes at home. They started Nursery 1 at age 3 which i believe is the standard age for Nursery 1.

C505:
Afternoon guys

I obtained a tbills form from stanbic today in anticipation on the upcoming primaries.
Kindly throw in your suggestions what rate one can assume to get for 365days with less percent chance of it falling through.
I'm thinking of bidding at 14.5%. What's your stance?

You can only bid with your own rate if you have N50m and above otherwise, you will have to make do with whatever rate the bank bids at the primary market.

Alepa:
The thing weak me too .
If we are to follow their logic , then salary earners should also be comparing their earnings to dollar so that they may believe they’re now earning less

As a salary earner, iam comparing mine with Zimbabwean dollar so as to know what it is like to be a billionaire. Billionaire na billionaire. Na me and the likes of Dangote and Otedola dey rub shoulders now.

nams77:
I had to find out this thread to find out what others are saying. I'm beginning to face pressure now about my son who is just one year and seven months. I have decided he will start when he is two but them no wan let me rest for house o. Baby must start by January. Well I have put my foot down. No Jupiter can force me to go against my will

You can target Nursery 1 at age 3 which will give you Primary 1 at age 5 and then Primary 5 or Primary 6(depending on the school) at age 10. This will mean that the child is ready to enter secondary school at age 10 and not less. Even at this age 10 in secondary school, the child will still struggle a bit with children that are older.

JayIlych:
You just Brough up another valid point.

It would be derailing this thread, but I want to have a little snippet at it.

The issue of house maids.

These parents go out very early and come back late. They have zero idea how their children is faring, what he/she has been exposed to.
If the child is undergoing abuse, the child's first crush, fears, insecuriites.


Everything falls on the maids.

Okay, enough derailing..



You might be right but I'm not sending my child to a same sex school. That's my opinion anyways.


Happy Christmas sir

My first priority was catholic boarding school. Mixed or same sex was not a priority to me. The catholic schools that met my other strict criteria including location just happen to be same sex school and that was it.

JayIlych:
You just Brough up another valid point.

It would be derailing this thread, but I want to have a little snippet at it.

The issue of house maids.

These parents go out very early and come back late. They have zero idea how their children is faring, what he/she has been exposed to.
If the child is undergoing abuse, the child's first crush, fears, insecuriites.


Everything falls on the maids.

Okay, enough derailing..



You might be right but I'm not sending my child to a same sex school. That's my opinion anyways.


Happy Christmas sir

I do not think the thread will be derailed by this. Many parents have left their responsibilities which might not be totally due to their fault.

Look at this scenario that was recently sent to me:

(1) Husband and wife are full time employees.

(2) Both leave home everyday by 5am and come back around 9pm.

(3) The woman gets pregnant. Take 3 months maternity leave to give birth.

(4) After 3 months, she goes back to work leaving the child in the care of a maid

(5) On Saturday, the woman goes to clubs functions or other social functions leaving the child with the maid

(6) On Sunday, she goes to church almost all day and when back, she goes to saloon as the next day is working day. For 7 days, she had not really had any close and personal contact with the child.

(7) In all these, the child is with the maid

(8.) The maid could be a sexually matured girl who is now 'caged' taking care of the child

(9) the maid has an internet phone where she watches all sorts and masturbates in order to relieve her sexual stress

(10.) The child becomes of school age.

(11) The maid prepares the child for school everyday as both parents leave early for work.

(12) After school, the maid brings back the child and stay with him/her till both parents comes back around 9pm by which time the child might be sleeping

(13) Everyday, the maid watches all sorts with the child by her side

(14) If the 'caged' maid wants to practice what she has been watching, who else will she practice it with?.

(15) Before you say Jack Robinson, the child is sent to either a mixed or same sex boarding school.

(16) If the child is sent to a same sex school and then exhibits what he/she has learnt from the maid, people will now quickly jump to conclusion that it is same sex school that 'changed' the child and start spreading the story that same sex schools breeds gays and lesbians.

JayIlych:
Thanks for your reply sir.

So knowing the underlying risk of exposing the kids to lesbians and gays (and possibly "turning them" lol) you still felt that a same sex school, boarding house inclusive would be best.


What were the factors that made you eliminate some certain schools as you wrote?
Was it discipline? (or lack of it)
Or values?
What were the mitigating factors?


I think you should note that no matter how highly regarded a school is with excellent staff and highly religious values, there are still loopholes and you can't deny the force of electromagnetism that people get attracted to the people they stay with over time.

Once again, thank you for your time.

JayIlych:
Thanks for your reply sir.

So knowing the underlying risk of exposing the kids to lesbians and gays (and possibly "turning them" lol) you still felt that a same sex school, boarding house inclusive would be best.

I had no fear of exposing the kids to lesbians and gays as i went to a mixed school and we were not allowed to enter the girls dormitory and you are now allowed to have s*x with a girl in the school. If you want to have s*x with any girl, you wait till vacation.

As i have said before, boys stay together in the boys dormitory while girls stay together in the girls dormitory. That is same sex dormitory. What goes in mixed sex schools that you think lesbianism and gay are not there?.

JayIlych:
What were the factors that made you eliminate some certain schools as you wrote?
Was it discipline? (or lack of it)
Or values?
What were the mitigating factors?

First of all, i wanted boarding for them. Secondary i did not want a private secondary school as since most of them are setup with profit in mind, it means discipline will be relaxed because once a child is sent away, it means a loss of profit. There is also the issue of merit as the rate of manipulation to favour a child is high there. My son was affected in primary school. So did not want a re-occurrence in a private secondary school. Even though the catholic schools might not be 100% fool proof but at least there is a high percentage of a merit based system there and there is serious discipline. Try to find out from parents that have their kids in catholic schools or students that attend them. Some students normally run away because they could not cope.

JayIlych:
I think you should note that no matter how highly regarded a school is with excellent staff and highly religious values, there are still loopholes and you can't deny the force of electromagnetism that people get attracted to the people they stay with over time.

I know there are loopholes in every system but such loopholes are always being plugged in catholic schools. Many parents that could not manipulate the system have had to withdraw their kids. You fail in catholic schools, you repeat. You fail again, you are withdrawn and it is not every class that you can repeat. You fail in some classes, you are asked to withdraw.

The catholic schools do not joke. You either shape in or you shape out.

JayIlych:
Madam, I like dealing with concrete facts when discussing about a particular thing.

Your case and that of your brothers are properly different from others.
Some students after being raped by their seniors or School Mothers or Fathers (remind me the use of that again??) would find out that they liked the experience and come back for more, even though the first time would surely be traumatic.

I'll bring you links of people right here on nl that had this same problem.

I hope I find the links.

Don't get me wrong ma, I'm not saying it's everyone that goes to a same sex school will end up questioning their Sexuality, I'm just saying it's a factor.

Selah.

Rape by seniors, school mothers and school fathers is not restricted to same sex schools. It is also in mixed schools. As i have said earlier, boys and girls in mixed schools do not stay in the same dormitory. Boys cannot enter girls dormitory and girls cannot enter boys dormitory. I went to a mixed school and a boy was expelled for homo.

Many countries have legalized same sex relationships because of people coming out.. What is the statistics that these people went to same sex schools?.

Societies and Parents are increasingly failing in their duties. Instead of taking a deep look at where the problems are, people are quickly "lazily" pointing at same sex and missionary schools. When the government took over schools in the 70s and turned them to mixed and day schools, was there no homo then?. How many parents know what their kids are exposed to by maids and house boys?.

What is even the percentage of homos in same sex schools that is triggering this conclusion?.

Goddys:
It would have been awesome if humans were asexual. Sex has caused a lot of bad than good. God could have substituted the pleasure of sex to pleasure of brotherly love. That way earth would have been better.

Meanwhile I attended same sex school where many guys were gay. At a point, they wanted to lure me cuz of my girlish look then and I reported the case to my mentor who was a staff in the school. Gay is a spirit, and spirits need a channel to work. When you are lured by then and start fantasizing it, the spirit of gay gets hold of you. Rebuke the devil and he will flee from you.

Avoid enrolling your wards in same sex school if you cannot be able to monitor their sexual orientation

Is there no gay or lesbianism in mixed sex schools?. I hope you know that in mixed sex schools, girls and boys do not sleep in the same dormitory. Girls have their dormitory while boys have theirs. So what are we talking about?. I went to a mixed sex school and gays and lesbians were there.

When do you think gays and lesbians operate?. Is it in the day time or in the night during lights out?. So you think girls in mixed sex school cannot operate in their dormitory after lights out or boys cannot operate in theirs after lights out?.

Whether same sex or mixed sex, upbringing matters. Some kids are already spoilt at home before going to school.

Check countries that have legalized same sex relationship and tell me if the act was caused by preponderance of same sex schools.

If you know what goes on in several mixed schools(day and boarding) in the country, you will not be saying this.

egojeny1:
Ok.
One thing some parents don't know is that these catholic schools don't tolerate nonsense, once a student is caught doing any shit he/she is gone.

Sent using the Nairaland sending facility on profile.

egojeny1:
Thank you!!!

I and my sister attended same sex school, my 3 brothers attended same sex school and today, we're all married.

All my sons will attend same sex school of course one is already in one of the best same sex catholic boarding schools in lagos, then my only daughter will attend same sex boarding school.

Op, pls there's nothing wrong in same sex schools. Remove ur fears and ask God for guidance that's all.

My son is in a same sex catholic boarding school in Lagos while my daughter is also in a same sex catholic boarding school in Lagos. I consider these schools to be the best catholic schools in Lagos. I think my son and your son might be in the same school and your daughter might end up in my daughter's school.

I will PM you to find out the school your son goes to.

Mizwisdom:
I'm a product of same sex school, I wouldn't have it any other way

Gbam.

Iam always surprised when because of just a few isolated cases, people write off an entire structure.

JayIlych:
ARGH. I hate typing long stuff but that's exactly what I'd do.

Same sex school is simply the form of schools that allow only a specific gender to attend the school.

I've not made much research, but I believe the earliest same sex school was introduced by the White man when they came for missionary work.

I believe some of the reasons parents send their children to Dame sex schools is so as not to "expose" their children to pregnancy and wayward life.

But from the statistics available to me, I can say (I stand to be corrected) that such has done more harm than good.

The average child sent to such school is still at that stage of his/her life where they are not sure of their left and right.
So when they look left and right and the only companions they have is of the same gender, they start forming friendships and closeness.
They are still at puberty, when their body is undergoing some radical changes, so the only person's they have is people of the same gender as them.

I've heard of countless tales (both on nairaland, other online platforms and one on one interaction) about how going to same sex schools totally changed their orientation.

Boys that go to missionary schools that are same sex, they end up having sex with each other.
At first, it might be awkward and strange but soon they find themselves longing for more of that.

Even when they leave the schools, they become attracted to the same sex.


Same with girls too.


It's the same.
Let me drop my pen now, let's hear your views.

Parents, what are your reasons for sending your children to same sex schools??
Are you aware of this things or you just choose to ignore or simply don't care.


Mods, if this isn't the appropriate section, move it.

Thanks.





Chilisauce
Optionally
Nuhregular.

Can we have your opinions?

I always try yo shy away from discussing issues of this nature and also issues on boarding vs day schools as i feel that people should choose what works for them.

That as it may be, i want to throw in my own views.

I have a boy in a boys only catholic secondary school and a girl in a girls only catholic secondary school. Both are in boarding.

Why did i choose the same sex school for them?.

I doubt that i can easily answer this question.

(1.) First of all, i have long decided that my kids will attend boarding schools. I attended one though mixed. I enjoyed the experience and so wanted them to also have a feel of what i enjoyed.

(2.) When the boy who is the senior was in Primary 3, i started making a list of potential boarding schools. I had quite a long list.

(3.) As the years row by, i started an elimination process after some pain staking investigations of the short listed schools.

(4.) I then zeroed in on the catholic schools. Btw, iam a catholic but that was not an overriding factor in my choice.

(5.) There are so many good catholic schools. So i had to start eliminating.

(6.) I then zeroed in on the catholic schools in Lagos, Ogun and Edo states as i live in Lagos and iam from Edo state.

(7.) I wanted a catholic school with a long history with a well established old students association structure as iam an active member of my own old student association.

(8.) The catholic schools i could find in Lagos with such were boys only and girls only.

(9.) Since the boy was to first have a go, it means that the school he enters will have an overriding effect on the one the girl will attend as i wanted the two schools to be as close as possible in order to reduce the logistic of visiting day, PTA, Open Day and vacation. For example, if the boy had entered the one in Edo state, it means the girl will also have to enter the one in Edo state.

(10.) It might interest people to know that most catholic schools built by the catholic dioceses are same sex. Only few were mixed.

TONY56:
When was Stanbic shaky?
If you don't know, Stanbic has always been No1 or No2 for a long time despite the fact that they don't have up to 1/3 of the branches of First Bank. Refer to their share price at the stock market if you are in doubt and you will see that it's either Stanbic at the apex or GTB.

If what you are looking for is a Nigerian Bank that is strong and reliable, then think of STANBIC, GTB & ZENITH. FIRST BANK is very far behind these 3 banks.

I saw that post and had to laugh.

I have been banking with Stabic since when it was Chartered Bank. From Chartered Bank, it became CharteredIBTC and now StanbicIBTC.

I get a call from them once in a while to ask me about my experience using them espercially their eChannels.

RealityShot:
thank you..
am so unhappy right now.. I asked them to do it in my presence, but they asked me to go in peace.

now i just got a message that i can't move more than 20k from my account!

am going there later today to scream a bit...

C4Ltd: so many bottlenecks in this country O! I weak!...

What type of account is that or were you the one that imposed such a condition?. My boss in the office has a condition on his account that disallow a transfer of any amount above 100k from any transfer source. Even online purchases.

Ibrahim505:
tbills interest fluctuates and while this is fixed throughout the duration. Investing 2.1m in the bond while compounding the annual interest will makes your money grow to 6.2m by maturity.
Among many reason the rich keep getting richer.

How do you compound the interest on a bond when normally it is paid to you quarterly and there is no provision for re-investment of the interest being paid to you?. Even in TBs, not all banks do a re-investment of the upfront interest. Is interest on this SUKUK bond being capitalized?.

handsomebolanle:
Guys... Please I need a quick advice and I will appreciate your contributions..

My mother invested in mutual benefit 2013 (I guess most of us around my family weren't enlighten by then)...
In summary she was to pay 5k per month... She was only able to to 10months out of 60months... She tried terminating it but they said it wasn't adviceable..
Fowrad to today... We went last week and we were told that we will be sent a voucher of our payment...

On seeing the voucher now.. What we had is 37k.. Please what kind of investment is this??.. Any help or advice... ..

Maybe it was mutual funds which is invested mainly in stocks and not money market fund.

I started out my kids fund with First Bank mutual funds. They never explained to me that it will majorly be invested in stocks. After contributing monthly consistently for several months and asked for my balance, i was shocked to be given a less than the amount i had contributed and on inquiry, i was told that the money was invested in their stock mutual fund and not money market fund and that it fluctuates based on the price of the stocks it was invested in. That was how i terminated it quickly and moved it to a kiddies savings account after augmenting the shortfall with my own money.

Internetboy:
Is it better to reinvest the upfront interest rate, use it to buy dollar or use the upfront interest as daily expenses because you must spend money daily.

Which is more economically wise.

It depends on your needs. I have two TBs running and they are normally in August/September. I use the upfront interest from the two to pay my kids first term school bills. They are in boarding house. My plan is to increase my TBs amount so that FG will start paying my Landlord as my rent falls due in October.

ahiboilandgas:
u can still drive a Mercedes 2012 it very ok and lease a range when their an outing.....am spending part of my interest to enjoy my life ooh my friend just died around 2012 and his family sold his house for 145m and blew the money ...the rent was around 7 m.yearly ..he hustled till death driving a 190 Benz and a pickup didt enjoy his money....this brothers and kid bought 5 latest cars 2 years after his death with his money....other move abroad

I can bet you that he never had 10% of that 7m for himself. The reason why he was driving a Benz 190. His family that sold the house also knew when he collects the rent and so know when to swoop to present their problems with the word 'shebi you just collect rent'.

tritritri:
Bros na wa ooh...t[b]he owner (my dad) has the C of O and he's alive[/b] .. the issue is btw real estate and t.b.

That means it is not a family house. Why i wrote that initially is that i have seen family houses where rooms or flats were shared to each child. You can only sell your room or flat. You cannot sell the entire building without the consent of other owners.

Btw, i know the issue is between real estate and t.b. Other things come in between. There are some properties that you see lie wasting and you wonder why it has not been sold. Some properties are not easy to dispose.