Fineman2:
Story of the day;

Hello Omajuwa. I am an only child who is 42years old. My mother refused to remarry after my father died when I was young. She sacrificed so much for me to be where I am today. I got married about 7years ago. My wife and I have been looking upto God for a child. After pleading with my wife for us to adopt at least a child to no avail, I decided to get my mum who stays with us to help me speak to her woman to woman. But this made them become sworn enemies. My wife since then talks to my mother anyhow and disrespects her every now and then. It has been like that for months.

Few days ago, while returning from work, I heard their loud shouts from outside but I remained outside waiting for the shouts to be over as I didn’t want to be put in the position of choosing a side. But I had to intervene when I heard a loud slap. My wife had slapped my mother. I was enraged but I kept my cool, took my mother from the scene and catered for her. I have since not said a word to my wife.

All I feel when I am at home is sadness and depression. I have no peace in my own home. I have sacrificed a whole lot just to make this marriage work. The woman I married has become someone else. I have defended this same woman from my extended family for years. I have been labeled a ritualist and all sorts of name due to our childlessness but I have never cheated and I have always defended my wife despite knowing that she is the one with fertility issues.

Even though my mother has been trying to put up a strong front since that day, I know that she has been crying herself to sleep. I love my wife so much but I love my mum too. What could my mother have possibly done to warrant her slapping my mother? I think my wife is selfish and is no longer who I married. Why would she rather constantly inflict pain and sadness on her own family? I just want peace of mind and I have made up my mind to divorce my wife. But hope this won’t be a mistake? Is there still a marriage to save here? How do I go about it? What do I do? Please help me.

Alesa3341:
Hello Guys, please I need a sincere and matured advise on what to do. This will be long, please bare with me.

I'm 27, am a businessman, I have this girl I really love so much and intend to marry her this year December, but one thing about her is her bad character. She challenge me, talk back at me, shout at me, get angry with me for days, refuse to cook when she is angry, disrespect my family, most especially my mum, always trying to paint herself good and paint me bad in presence of people, these are just little of the things she has done to me.

When she lost her job, and had nowhere to go, I had to bring her to my house, and provide everything for her, food, I change her hair twice a month, subscribe unlimited for her, I just provided everything a woman need to be happy for her. Last year November, she told me she haven't seen her mum for 5years and wanted to travel to see her, I spent close to 200k to take her to and fro, including other things she needed. She insisted on collecting the bride price list for me when coming back, I spoke to her mum and they gave her to give me. I was planning to finalize all on the weeding this year.

Last year DECEMBER, I took her to my family to introduce her, but this was the biggest mistake of my life. She was completely disrespectful to my mum, talks to me anyhow in presence of anyone, even to the extent of refusing to cook for me anytime she is angry, I go to kitchen and prepare food myself.

I love this girl so much but I still thought of continuing, with all this attitudes, I advise her everyday, I also took her to my pastor who advise her too most of the times, but she never changes.

Fast forward to 2days ago, we had issues because she told me to join her in washing and I refused because I was working on a client project, she got angry, washed the clothes and when it was evening she brought the clothes inside, folded her own in the wardrobe and just threw mine into the wardrobe without folding or arranging them. I was angry about this, but I kept mute. The next day, she sent me "sorry" on WhatsApp, I told her to come to me physically and apologize but she told me she can never do that, and why was she even apologizing, that she did nothing wrong, we exchanged words and she left my house.

Today, she called me and told me she is pregnant, and that I should send her money to remove it. I was like "just like that"? We didn't discuss about it, how will you just tell me you want to terminate my pregnancy, I told her to go to hospital and confirm it and also get the test report, she did this and sent to me, it was true she is pregnant, but she insisted on removing it, I persuaded her and she still refused, claiming she can't be a single mother. I told her I will take responsibility, but she insisted on removing it, I told her to go home and think about it, and she told me she can't leave there without removing it. After so much persuading I decided to give her the money, and told her if she removed it, that it's on her, that I didn't consent to this.

I asked her why we can't keep it, and she said because my family is bad, we support evil, if the sky is blue, we say it's red, that my mother is a bad woman, and she doesn't want to come there. She said so many bad things about my family, I was shocked! I asked her, how are they bad, she said "how can my mother be telling her to wash my clothes" I was just confused, After all I have done for you, is it bad if you wash your husband to be clothes, I left her!

Later she told me the doctor referred her to another hospital, I still tried to persuade her and she said her decision is final. She asked me to give her money to go to the hospital she was referred to, I refused! I insisted that we keep the baby, she told me "I'm a nobody, that she will call now and she will get money to go" I angrily blocked her. Later, she called my other line and told me, she went to the other hospital and the doctor told her, the cost to remove the pregnancy is 125k, she told me and I insisted on keeping the baby.

Please guys help.me, I don't want to terminate my first child, the girl is too disrespectful and rude, I don't want to continue with such woman, but she is carrying my baby, what do I do? And if she later agree to keep it, how do I go about it?

You all are just saying "don't marry her" what about the baby? Should I agree to abort it and give her the money?

MODIFIED

DonBenny77:

You no well! I go clean my nose show you, Ode!
If I curse you it won't be well with your generation.
You wan play politics with people life

Saintmary:


Don't jump into a new relationship to feel better. It's not fair on the new lady.


Talk it out. Taaaaaaaaaalk.

Find a friend who's willing to listen, if he's not willing, find someone else until you get it out of your chest.

The plans you had, your hopes that she dashed, eeeeverything. It's therapeutic.

You're free to post things you're feeling somewhere, it's your social media space, it's a means of journalling. When you're healed, you'll look back and laugh even if you don't feel like laughing right now.

Take your time, don't rush yourself to heal, be kind to yourself, she pulled the plug, not you, she didn't believe in working things out with you, so don't blame yourself. Be kind to yourself, because if you don't love yourself,who will?



Above all, dive into your goals, and reinvent yourself. Look for self development videos and articles and follow them.


This phase you're going through has been experienced by millions of people and they have come out on the other side. You won't be an exception.

P. S. Please remind all other men who are forming hard up and down that we're all humans.

P. P. S. Lots of people are hiding humongous amounts of pain so don't let anyone put you down. Keep living one day at a time. Good luck.

temmypotter:


Shut up! If it was your child, would you say the same thing?

You just spat a whole bunch of useless crap, this was a case of terrible negligence and the school should go down for it. Period! You are defending a school that instead of handing the culprits to the authorities called the parents to come and fly the murderers out of the country in a bid to cover up the crime.

No make me vex this Sunday morning guy


Allow him to keep typing rubbish!

kimom:

How is that of importance

Bornsinner7:
I see nothing wrong as it is her child.. that you were sexualy abused have left a scar in your memory but you have to deal with it..

Maybe you should let her understand your point of view rather than just prohibiting her authoritatively from the act...

Everybody loves the feel of the lips of babies bro.. don't be mad..

ESANMEA:
THT- Liberty Blue
OR
Axa Mansard

EmperorTolson:
Have never been a fan of Tecno, infinix, ITEL and other nameless product.
It's either iPhone, Samsung or Redmi for me.

I'm not saying they're not good phones, it's just taste.
Iono whether there's anyone like me.

bolaayenimo:
Like play, like play, this long-necked PDP member called Deji Adeyanju has turned himself to an activist. Judging people without any fact finding.

Biglittlelois:
Your mistake is, you shouldn't have told her your mum suggested it, you would have said that it was your idea, you should have brought up the topic in a way that will make her see reasons why it is logical to cut cost, instead of calling her on phone saying bla bla your mum bla bla, and i can imagine you saying it in a bossy way sef, it is her wedding as she said, as it is yours too, make her feel like she's in charge but you're the one controlling things on the side, very simple. Most times it is you men that majorly cause unnecessary animosity between your mother and wives, you guys don't know how to present a case smoothly without bringing up issues.

navigante:

We are in same situation.lost mine last week of febuary, worse for me cos i saw her last in 2019 and her death came as shock to everyone..Ddnt know depression is this bad,no motivation, no strenght for anyting even to pray..took some time off from work yet ddnt get any better..people think am fine but am bleeding on the inside...just try to stay strong