₦airaland Forum

You see, edygirl? I warned you. The drama begins.

So you lied? You are therefore not to be trusted? Good thing you are not a GUNNER!!

edygirl:
It's kind a late. I have already done that. I've never read any of her posts so that was the main reason I invited her to know exactly how she sounds.

You have done yourself a great disservice. Don't worry, she will soon start to perform for you. Then you'll find out for the first time that all your ancestors used to wear red and blue bandanas and shout 'What's up, men?' during village meetings in the town square.

argument:
Are you picking a fight? You know you'll have to deal with Argument, Mr. Argument. Are you really ready for that? Remember, you don't have the power to change my username.

You seem to like your name. That must piss Seun right off.

From your previous posts, it's clear that it wouldn't even help me if I did.

Drusilla:
I guess I am still a girl at heart and love to leave a room and have all the men shout at once:

I don't know what the hell she was talking about but damn!!!!

Hmmm . . . it’s not a large conceptual leap from all the men in the room to all the psychiatrists in your district.

Chei! she got in her post before mine

Madam,

The people of Africa are still waiting for an apology.

argument:
Only since today. Couldn't he have found out that I was argumentative way before today. Our moderator is getting really lazy. He doesn't even have time insulting me over email anymore. Seun, please give me some more attention
I'll even propose some more usernames to you, radiant celestial body.

You are a troublesome one, you!  

edygirl:
Just trying to hit it up hun. I need 4-5 pages on this thread.

I understand dear but 1 page of 'proper talk' is better than 4-5 of drivel. She may come here and state that African culture has its roots in her favourite American soap opera or something. Anything is possible with her! Don't say I didn't warn you oh!

edygirl:
He will sound so gay.

I know. He started it though. He was subtly questioning my masculinity on another thread. Can you imagine?! Anyway, he’s still my main pally. He should be allowed to return.

edygirl:
I am going right away to invite Drusilla to this topic.

Drusilla has nothing to contribute to intelligent discourse.

edygirl:
Just reading and laughing.  
Afeni=Dahitler

Rohdalyn=Jobless

Nferyn=Argument.

I wonder what he's gon' give me. Oh seun Oh! my ribs hurt.

Gosh I'm still laughing.

If the username Chxta is changed to Chi-Chi my joy would be complete.

Thought you weren't going to say anything?

I learn quite a lot about the mindset of strongly Afrocentric African-Americans. She usually takes a strong position when it comes to the historical culpability of Europeans, but is incapable of understanding the diversity and nuance of the African reality.

My sentiments exactly.

To her credit, I must say that she is willing to read up on what I post and that she has brought me some interesting, informative and thought provoking things to read. As long as you know where she's coming from (and of course, that's only her online persona), you can put things in the proper context.

In what context would you put her assertion that African nation states (many of which are several million strong and have cultural traditions dating back thousands of years) are no different from the Bloods and the Crips in America? What would be the ‘proper’ context of this statement?

We hate you right back so we won't say any more.

argument:
Why question that fact that our great leader has deemed Chxta [/i]worthy of a banning. Alas, the great vessel of this incorporeal electronic state has not deemed me worthy of such a treatment. I have only been stolen of my identity, now serving the community as Mr. Argument.

When will the admin get off his cloud and take something that gets him of his powertrip. His divine whimsicalness needs to get off the magic mushrooms and take the red pill.
There's more than [i]The Matrix, Seun, you're not Mr. Smith.

Simply hilarious 

argument:
She's not entirely consistent to say the least, but at least she's interesting to discuss with (although quite oblivious to African historical accomplishments at times)

Yes she is. If one's interest lies in frivolity.

edygirl:
Awwwww,I know you can't hun. How was your day? missed you.

Missed you too and my day was fine. Yours? Please ask Seun to leave Chi-Chi alone.

alarinjo:
OMG. ROFLMAO. Thats sooooo right on the money!

Hello Nutter, I don't think we have ever chatted, but it is good to find someone else on here who can see a fraud for what they are!

My brother, Drusilla needs (our) special attention. We must remain watchful. 

No babes, I cannot harass you in that manner. You are not deserving.

My fellow politicos,

Why was Chxta banned? This is the third time (to my knowledge) that he has suffered this fate. Now, I am not familiar with the circumstances that led to this recent serving of banning orders. As a result, I cannot – at this time - apportion any blame. However, this situation throws up, for me at least, an inevitable predicament. With Chxta away, whom do I harass?


Drusilla – who equated the Great African Nation States to the street gangs of America? Not to be unkind, but her utterances lead me to believe that she isn’t exactly the picture of mental health.

Georgee – who took on my Igbo sisters and lost? Nah. He is now a eunuch – poor, poor fella.

buchio(0)7 – who thrives on disrespecting the Igbo by referring to them as ibo? Mba. He needs to show deference to the Igbo – one of whom he claims to be - to get my attention. Then only will I attach the electrodes of Igbo history to his nipples of ignorance. Until then, he remains a bald man fighting over a comb.

Madlawyer(0)1? The clue is in the name. He’s as mad as a biscuit at the best of times – and, sadly, not in an endearingly eccentric way. He is not an efficient use of my time.

Giorgio? No. He will probably chastise me in no uncertain terms. His statement to me the other day, “y don't you listen nutter”, still has me in stitches.


Who then is left? Ah! SEUN! Yes! He would be worth my time even though our verbal sparring may be one-sided. Difficult to spar when your membership is rescinded. His ‘banning fingers’ twitch endlessly as they hover over his keyboard. One word out of turn from me and, KABOOM!


In light of the above, it is time to bring Chxta (a.k.a Chi-Chi) back. Shikena!

Ahoy! Cheers, matey!

Hey Folks,

This was sent to me recently via email. Thought I should share:


Senate: Presidential rubber stamp for unpopular laws and illegal constitutional ammendments.

Babacracy[/color][color=#990000][/color]: Unitary system of Governnment headed by a powerful life President. Minimum age of 60 required. See also, Nigerian "democracy".

[color=#000099]Chief: Traditional title sold by traditional rulers to the highest bidder.

Honorary degree: A "doctorate" degree confered on an individual by a higher Institution primarily as a form of political patronage.

Privatisation: Sale of public property to members of a countries' ruling political party and other sycophants.

BPE: Bureau of Private Enrichment. See also, Privatisation.

Runway: Recreation park for cattle

Democracy defenders: People who "oppose" the ruling party on the basis of their exclusion from revenue "sharing."

No-go-area: The real problem with a country that are not supposed to be discussed while trivial matters are being discussed. See also, Federalism, resource control, e.t.c

Court order: Worthless piece of paper that is not binding on the Presidential and Legislative arms of government.

Sacred cows: Members of the ruling party of a nation.

Universities: Nigerian synonym for glorified secondary schools.

Probe panel: Job opportunity for unemployed political hangers-on. See also, constitutional reform committee, Oputa panel e.t.c

Mantu (n) m-a-n-t-o-o: A tool used for illegal manipulation of constitutions.

Third term (adj) thûrd tûrm: Nigerian euphemism for life Presidency.

Public hearing (adj) pub*lic hîr ng: Secret meetings held by Politicians with the aim of feathering their own nests.

Patriotism (adv) p tr - -t z m : A word used to describe unquestionable loyalty to the President.

Election (n) -l k sh n: Selection of party loyalists by the President to political office.

Blueprint: A government paper detailing fantasy white elephant projects. Used primarily as a political tool to deceive the people.

Communique/report: worthless piece of document released at the close of lectures, seminars, probe panels and or committees. Usually contains grandiose speeches, unrealistic goals, castles in the air e.t.c See also, National political Reform committee report, Vision 2010 report.

Budget: Annual ritual by the legislative and Presidential arms of Government detailing resource meant to be "shared" amongst the three tiers of Political office holders.

Ecological fund: Money meant for electioneering campaigns, sharing among party chieftains, foreign bank accounts e.t.c See also, Dariye

Security Vote: Pocket money meant for Political office holders.

Yes, I dey hear you – loud and clear. But, you have only succeeded in reproducing my position. Perhaps you should read my posts again.

Nah, until I met U I have never broken my head over a girl. . . Ooops, not exactly accurate. There was this girl almost 10 years ago now.

What does ‘meeting’ me have to do with breaking your head over a girl? You trying to question my masculinity? Er, Chi-Chi?

Stop giving people the impression that we are gay.

See how your mind works? Shocking! What was it Freud said again?

New job? No, I am going back to school. Not too far from you by the way.

Oh, really? I suppose it’s a Masters you’re after. Good for you.

Mariory:
Gay? I thought you two were engaged and living toghether, the way u both constantly argue.

Stop am oh, Mariory. Na so rumour dey take start.

classiqkid:
14.go to them hausa men ikoyi hotel

Spot on classiqkid! Todd Terry, ask for a bloke called S. KURA. He usually has the best rates. I've used him for my forex conversion needs for many years.

Todd Terry:
and some of the naira women look very nice. where is a good place to meet them? on vi?

Hmm. . . Todd Terry, you ol' hound dog you . Methinks you should worry more about your sexual proclivities than getting harassed at MMA

Thanks TX,

We were trying to work out if the ability to swim is a requirement of the navy. For commonsensical reasons, seems unlikely to me that it isn’t, but maybe the case in Nigeria is different.

Thanks again, mate.

For the first time in a while, Juventus is playing in a league befitting their status 

Chxta:
Trust me, my dear, the last time I got worked up over anything at all was four years ago. . .

I am not worked up.

When that girl left you?

Sorry, I couldn't resist. You know say me and you dey like bread and butter How nah? How de new job?

Sorry folks, I don’t mean to put too fine a point on it but I don’t think I agree. ALL Naval men/women should know how to swim whether they are to hold administrative positions or not. It’s like saying not all soldiers should be trained in firearms because some will be manning desks. Firearms training is a basic requirement. You then go on to specialise in other areas such as the use of artillery, communications, medical support, intelligence gathering and analysis, engineering support et cetera. The fact that this may not be the case in Nigeria does not make it right or acceptable. What happens in better-run countries? My friend here applied to join the British Navy and faced the same problem. He couldn’t swim. He was given time to learn before the next round of interviews but he just couldn’t make the cut. He not only failed the swimming test, he also failed because he could not hold his breath underwater for a certain period of time. This is how I know things to be. Perhaps the Nigerian situation is different.

I believe Txlonghorn is in the American Army. It will be useful to get his take on this.

@Vieira,

Your question is not worthy of a true Gunner. It’s not brainwashing, it’s education . Can you imagine the kind of dysfunction that will come with raising the poor boy to be a Juventino or a Chelskite (and don’t even get me started on Man U)? Bring the boy to our new stadium built by Kings for Kings jare. No need for long story.

Raise him Gunner; raise him proud!

walelead:
@aloib and @nutter, both of you are not on my list yet. ill be waiting here.

Don't think I can make it, wale. You lot have a good time now.

Ok, mate. I copy.

Yes, I'm too chicken. 

Sorry sir.

Hmm. . . . I'm afraid to ask how.