₦airaland Forum

0079jaBond:
I've a female friend whom I once expressed my love for but we didn't enter into a relationship because neither of us was ready to commit to it at that time. We met in school and we've had some ups and downs in the past.

There's this attitude of hers that bothers me and I had made up my mind to let go of her. Sometimes, she seems all nice and good but all of a sudden, she begins to act differently. I've experienced this in our face-to-face conversations and online chats (which is the most annoying). Could it be personality disorder, mood swing, dishonesty or friendzoning tactics on her part? Or is it me overreacting? Or there's something wrong with me in some way that turns her off?

Whatever be the case anyway, I already decided from December last year to FINALLY erase her. Take note of the word 'finally' because similar decisions were made once or twice before, only for her to return and it seemed good until shit happened again. There was a time she appeared to have taken such stance also and I broke it off and then we went back to point zero. Well, it's not as if I'm hating her or kicking her out of my life; I simply don't want any emotional/psychological torture caused by her attitude. Until she comes clean and straight before we can be good.

So last December was the last straw as earlier said. She never returned any of my calls; I chat her up and complained, only to get an unconvincing excuse. It appeared I was being too "pushy" and I concluded it has got to be the time to back off completely. I couldn't afford to start the new year with old, unimproving, discomforting and insincere friendships/relationships. Though I'd still be her friend but I'd drastically reduce the ties, maintain my composure much better and get involved with other things.

Now she's back. She jokingly asked why we weren't close as before and apologised if she did any wrong. This is the usual drill, so I smiled and made her realise I had moved on. We got chatty for a bit till she ignored me and I've not heard a word from her since then. This is pissing me off and I can't take it anymore which is why I'm humbly seeking your help.

Should I:
a) Talk to her and let her realise the hurting attitude? But wouldn't that make me look somehow?
b) Forget about her and if at anytime she beeps me, I should ignore her too? Or
c) ..... (please help me fill it)


Thank you...

she is confused, confused girls are indecisive, indecisive girls don't know what they want, girls that don't know what they want can easily change their words or mind anytime or for anything.
so the choice is yours, do you want to stay with that kind of person?

Desyner:
Thieves. They don't want to restructure. They don't want Magu. They don't wan't Buhari/Osinbanjo.
Instead they want Saraki, continuation of Abuja sharing.

abi my brother, the funny thing is we still have gullible people on nairaland that share their point of view #awonwere

CROWNWEALTH019:
sponsored by tinubu

Alcmene and you have never posted anything reasonable since you joiner this forum,
does it means you both are lover or dumb followers of corrupt leaders?
does it mean even with the good intention of the VP and magu trying his best even if it is not enough, you still remain to be a saddist?
does it mean if you two try to think with your brain you will die?

please even if you don't have sense try to borrow sense from your neighbour or are you also arrogant to ask for advice from reasonable peoples.

OrestesDante:
Are you a man?

Forget the girl she's not yours. Don't be too passionate.

If commit suicide I have a powerbank and 10mb to type RIP

lolz...help me remind am o

mostsimpliest:
Dear nairalanders i beg you guys with the name of God i really need the brotherly and sisterly advise on this issue thats being bothering me since yesterday

If you guys can recall my last post where i nearly committed suicide because of a girl that accepted me as a side boyfriend and later abandoned me like trash.this same girl is now calling me begging me that the guy somehow deceived and bewitched her,that she truly loves me and that i should give her a chance....seriously i felt some kind of pity for her cause deep down inside me i still have strong feelings for her...i cant stand see her crying or being disturbed please you guys should help a brother in need dont want to regret my action

Cc lalasticlala ....mode please help me attach my previous post,i dont know how to do that

how old are you, the reason I asked is because you think like an infant.
even if you are 16 your common sense should have let you know that there are some people that are best left alone instead of forming mumism.

Victornezzar:
As I saw copied from WhatsApp
den it's rubbish

following
But I don't think this is the right section

Nofuckgiven:
People in love always sacrifice for each other. Sometimes one more than the other. That is why they say 'fools fall in love'! Just because you sacrificed more than the other doesn't mean you are stupid,if a couple see themselves as a team,its a win-win. Most people are just selfish.

even in your statement you said if a couple see themselves as a team, if in the relationship you are the one giving selfless love and your partner did not reciprocate then the relationship goes sideways what will be your story..... that is the point the op is making.

Nofuckgiven:
He is saying all this because of the bad ladies he has dated. No one forced him to date them. I hate generalizations.

I said proofread, you refused instead you are trying to make a point that is not there.
firstly, the op is not generalizing, he is just try to make you and your think alike understand that it is good to be in love but there are some things you might do that you think it is you in-love meanwhile it is pure stupidity.
these is just the simple summary of all what he wrote if you can't go back to reread.

abbeylli:
You said my essays is senseless man see what you are writing can everyone afford this , you see i still say the same thing ,Mr I have read 100s of self help books and put them up to life and they are realistic what I said was simple.

put yourself first

don't mind that guy, what you wrote is very easy to comprehend, it is all about putting yourself first when you are dating and doing the right things you are suppose to do instead of regretting not doing them when the relationship goes sideways.
thumbs up

Nofuckgiven:
OP never use few bad experiences as a yardstick to judge others. Most good women crave good men too. Its just that the good men need to be interesting and unique. You must not use or cheat on someone else to make them attracted to you. Just be yourself and the right person would find you.

that exactly what the op is explaining not about cheating on someone, why don't you proofread to get more understanding

you just keep calm, they are coming for you.

Maleka1:
tnk u sir, I'm so grateful

no problem gee, like I said you know her better than we that want to give you advice so you in the best place to advice yourself but whatever you do use your brain.
don't allow a girl to start playing with your head

Maleka1:
pls, kindly read my story. I will summarize it as as possible. we met and became friends in 2011, in early 2012, we started the relationship proper. she is a replica of everything I ever wanted in a woman. she stood by me during my trying times especially when I was looking for admission, though, she is ahead academically (now a masters student). she has bn so supportive morally, financially, spiritually etc. I love her with passion. I seek her consent on everytin I do, I respect her wish of no sex relationship despite the fact that i am sexually active (she is a virgin). I always try my best to pls her. I have introduced her to my family likewise she.

the problem started in april 2015, after a jolly conversation with her on phone, some hours later she sent a hrtbroken message asking for breakup without any quarrel oo. I tot maybe somebody used her phone and made mistake, I called to confirm and she affirmed it. the food I was eatin fell down and I strted feeling heat. after calling her severally without pickin, I called her sisters and a fend for intervention. dey were able to help and we settled. we continue again until last month. we spoke in the morning and later in the evening she started rejecting my calls for no reason. after several persuasion on WhatsApp to tell me wht was wrong, she later said she lost interest in our rltship and wnts us to be frnds, I pressed further to knw why she lost interest, she lack reason, she swear with bible that she didn't have any boyfriend anywhere that she just lost interest, I asked maybe its the time factor, she said no. then I hanged the call trying to control my emotion.

she knows well that I so much love her, so she called back begging that I shud not hurt myself and she was crying. she called early in the following morning still crying. her mum and sisters got to knw and rebuked her actions. she promised to work on her feeling and we settled again. since then, each time I asked abt the development, she always say we shud hold on to God.and be praying about it. she don't say I love u again either on fone or chat.



I'm just depressed and dejected. I wish I can brkup but I don't have the strength, I have bn captured and enslaved by love.

I'm 28, she will be 26 later this year

pls help me nairalanders.
pls mod, help me.

NP: communication is not our problem, we use one tarrif on GLO dat allows us to talk for full month at the cost of just #500.

a girl told you she is no more interested in you, you still went back to beg for her love, you have spoilt everything by going back then assuming you have acted like you dont care she would have been the one begging for your attention.
from the above
1) maybe you are not spontaneous enough in the relationship
2) even if she said no guy is getting her attention there might actually be a guy in the background that has her mumu button
3) I won't advice you do anything for now, give her like 2or 3 weeks her action will determine your reaction because you know her better than me but remember that whatever you do, you are a man, you are in charge, you can't allow a girl to be giving you sleepless night.

laudate:
Read the story again. She is NOT carrying his baby yet. He only asked her if she would get pregnant for him, outside wedlock.

if that is the situation then I think it is a big risk on her part, the guy may truly love her and intend to marry her when she get pregnant but situation whereby he changes his mind after she has taken in is a huge blow on her.

jhudit:
Except men are marrying themselves, the increasing number of singles affects both men and women.

Youths are not ready to take that leap anymore.
...economic downturn.
...loss of moral and societal values.
...some just don't want to marry.
...unnecessary exposure to modernization.
...the married couples they see are probably unhappy, cheating and fighting each other.

There is a man for every woman...
And a woman for every man
What she might say is, she isn't ready
Or most times, she hasn't seen her TYPE of man.
Type might be financial, physical, emotional, intellectual...etc
Her expectations might be realistic or unrealistic.
but that's not entirely our business, is it?

It's same with the single guys.

yes to some extent.

jhudit:
When a lie is told so much, it begins to sound like the truth.

Source please?

http://www.indexmundi.com/nigeria/demographics_profile.html

That's Nigeria's demographics for 2016. Men of 'marriageable' age are obviously more than women.

All over the world, the ratio of men to women at birth is higher. It drops in old-age because men tend to die earlier and women of that age don't even need to remarry.

As of 1 January 2017, the world's population was estimated at about 7 486 520 598, with men leading by approximately 66million. Where do you people keep getting your own facts?

We should consider polyandry, since you guys are so concerned about single people.

ok I have heard you but in the world why do we have more single ladies than men, in fact the rate of single ladies is increasing drastically yearly.
do you concur

jhudit:
When a lie is told so much, it begins to sound like the truth.

Source please?

http://www.indexmundi.com/nigeria/demographics_profile.html

That's Nigeria's demographics for 2016. Men of 'marriageable' age are obviously more than women.

All over the world, the ratio of men to women at birth is higher. It drops in old-age because men tend to die earlier and women of that age don't even need to remarry.

As of 1 January 2017, the world's population was estimated at about 7 486 520 598, with men leading by approximately 66million. Where do you people keep getting your own facts?

We should consider polyandry, since you guys are so concerned about single people.

ok I have heard you but in the world why do we have more single ladies than men, in fact the rate of single ladies is increasing drastically yearly.

we have more women that men so if we have one man one woman policy, there will just be a bunch of single ladies without a single guy to tease them or even say hello.

laudate:
Dump him! Unfriend him on Facebook, delete him from Whatsapp, unfollow him on Twitter or Instagram, do not reply him when he pings or calls you.... in short, erase him from your life. The guy just wants a cheap baby mama and free booty. A man who truly loves and respects you, will not dishonour you in that way. He will never put you in a position where family & friends would disrespect you, due to his actions.

dump him, unfriend him on fb, bla bla bla when she is carry is baby. is that a solution?

Aprilivangie:
Am not a victim. ...am a survivor

eeeeyyyyaaaa Pele, you don't have to transgress your anger on other male because you meet a bad one, we still have good guys you know

Aprilivangie:
It's good....
These are the type of ladies guys like...ladies who don't give damn
Guys take ladies who love them for granted
Pls enjoy your headache

Quote me and face my wrath

from your post it obvious you a victim of heartbreak. But even with that it doesn't means you will want it to happen to other, two wrongs doesn't make a right

Toks2008:
Are you really a free thinker?

I don't think so...and this is exactly my stands...being a logical person rather than allow dogmatism to blind me....

You kept making refrence to my religious philosophy which was clearly pointed out in my write up but then talking about religion please was there any passage in the bible or even the Quran that points to polygamy as a sinful act? why are we so quick to use religion as a cover up?

Whoever brought that one man one woman doctrine has really caused more arm than good to that wonderful institution called marriage cos the modern women have been totally disillusioned that they are quick to run out of their marriage because their hubby cheats on them just to end up living an adulterous life with other women's husbands or as intimacy gadgets to randy single men.

Ladies really need to get their facts right....that I can cope with two women does not mean another guy can't handle 5 wives..Ladies must be prepared for this...let's stop this deceit.

Asking me to preach against polygamy as if it's a sin..smh!

10 likes for this

shinarlaura:
Exactly.

Thank God a lady understand this, please help explain in better words to ur fellow sex mate that cheating doesn't define a man.
penis has it own brain.

shinarlaura:
Just be caring to me.

abi o
if a guy can show you love and enough attention, it means he loves you, sleeping around doesn't means he doesn't although I don't involve in it, it take alot alot and alot of self discipline for a guy to be faithful to a single girl all through his life till he dies, ask 2face he will confirm what am saying.

greatgod2012:
@op, I've watched the video version of this your miscalculative analysis! It was a debate where she was trying to outscore the other contestants!

Back to your question, self control is one of the major qualities that distinguish humans from animals, if any man behaves like animal just because he's capable of producing millions of sperm from every release,, then,,such a man should be living with his mates in the bush and be inserting his instrument in every dick and harry holes! Ability to have self control and stick to the vow you made on your wedding day as a man is the greatest care and trust a man can give to his wife and wife to her husband!



FYI, if men are polygamous in nature,, women too are, because that hole we possess no get meter!


So,,the best way couples can care and show love to each other is by being faithful to each other in every reasonable and expected ways!

I don't understand why you women like to prove strong head to the truth, every single word toks2008 said is the truth if we put religion and society know esp religion aside all men will cheat not most I repeat all men not most, commitment for a man is a choice not a norm.
this your attitude of both man and woman must be committed can't work because God has a reason for creating us differently, a promiscuous man can't be easily spotted unlike a lady I.e women tend to change with time when they are promiscuous unlike a male.
in the back centuries, our mothers has learnt to accept this bitter truth, men then usually have more than a wife in fact it was a achievement then if you have more children and more wives but I don't know who re-oriented 21st century Lady that a man must be faithful.
firstly, some guys forming faithful are actually cheating underneath without their partner knowing because it is very difficult for a guy to stick to a single girl for the rest of his life, if you see a guy that is truely faithful to a girl it take serious fear and respect for God I tell you.
like I said cheating for a man is a choice not a norm, I know you won't accept this but it is the truth.
P.S relationship for a woman is love with your heart unlike a man, who can always cheat without a single string attach or a single love for the girl he cheated with, it is just urge.

greatgod2012:
@op, I've watched the video version of this your miscalculative analysis! It was a debate where she was trying to outscore the other contestants!

Back to your question, self control is one of the major qualities that distinguish humans from animals, if any man behaves like animal just because he's capable of producing millions of sperm from every release,, then,,such a man should be living with his mates in the bush and be inserting his instrument in every dick and harry holes! Ability to have self control and stick to the vow you made on your wedding day as a man is the greatest care and trust a man can give to his wife and wife to her husband!



FYI, if men are polygamous in nature,, women too are, because that hole we possess no get meter!


So,,the best way couples can care and show love to each other is by being faithful to each other in every reasonable and expected ways!

I don't understand why you women like to prove strong head to the truth, every single word toks2008 said is the truth if we put religion and society know esp religion aside all men will cheat not most I repeat all will cheat, commitment for a man is a choice not a norm.
this your attitude of both man and woman must be committed can't work because God has a reason for creating us differently, a promiscuous man can't be easily unlike a lady I.e women tend to change with time when they are promiscuous unlike a male.
in the back centuries, our mothers has learnt to accept this bitter truth, men then usually have more than a wife in fact it was a achievement then if you have more children and more wives but I don't know who re-oriented 21st century Lady that a man must be faithful.
firstly, some guys forming faithful are actually cheating underneath without their partner knowing because it is very difficult for a guy to stick to a single girl for the rest of his life, if you see a guy that is truely faithful to a girl it take serious fear and respect for God I tell you.
like I said cheating for a man is a choice not a norm, I know you won't accept this but it is the truth.

SplendidE:
You don't love her yet u sexed her,continue
I just look u with one eye,I pity d poor girl
playing with a fuckboy like u

can't you see the girl throw herself at him or do you want her to sideline him and call him impotent.
Although I don't support his promiscuous act but situation like I don't blame the guy if he breaks the girl heart, next time she will learn to love with head not heart, she thinks since she has given her body he is suppose to love automatically

SplendidE:
You don't love her yet u sexed her,continue
I just look u with one eye,I pity d poor girl
playing with a fuckboy like u

can't you see the girl throw herself at him or do you want her to sideline him and call him impotent.
Although I don't support his promiscuous act but situation like I don't blame the guy if he breaks the girl heart, next time she will learn to love with head not heart

SplendidE:
You don't love her yet u sexed her,continue
I just look u with one eye,I pity d poor girl
playing with a fuckboy like u

can't you see the girl throw herself at him or do you want her to sideline him and call him impotent.
Although I don't support his promiscuous act but situation like I don't blame the guy if he breaks the girl heart.

cr7 is just too good as a scorer at his age, I just like that guy even if he doesn't score he makes assist, although messi is equally good but I rate ronaldo higher.

those two guys are just too good, it may take a very long time before we see players that will break the records these guys has set.
I think this is worth frontpage

ClassicQueen:
ah ah its not my fault na u are just blaming me alone. Na wah o. Thanks 4d harsh advice sha

am sorry if the advice is insultive I only based my judgement based on what you typed above, like I said before the ball is in your court it is the way you act with your husband family that will determine the way they will act with you