₦airaland Forum

GLAMSQUAD: .

Stumbled on your show on Stv yesterday. It was nice however I don't truly agree with the verdict against Wande Coal but notwithstanding you got a tight one running there. Best wishes.


@Thread

No comment. My show image button is off.

From the word J alone, I know it can be "hurtful" to my eyes.

chaircover: What you are looking for in Sokoto is in your sokoto
Your husband is yours and you can mould him into anything that you want.
If its time and attention that you want, tell him.

Like I said earlier, teach him by example the things that you want him to do. He is your hubby and not a stranger.

The bolded is what I dont really understand about most relationships. Why would you marry someone you can't tell anything and everything?

Why cover your body from someone who would bury you? Maybe when people understand that, they would save themselves lots of troubles.

What happened to telling your husband about this?

He is the best that can help you here since your individual efforts is not yielding results. That's if you guys communicate well and deep and you agree to such open discussions from the start. You may also ask for a transfer to another department or something just to be able forget him.

Elxandre: googler's tale sent shivers up my spine.
we live in a really unfair work world.

I got a colleague with extreme programming skills, a masters from uk and all these but guess what he is limited by his sight and can't even move around unaided but he is doing fine now. His tales working for other coys would want you to take a dagger and axe some people. The world is unfair to some people.


That's why when people are in trouble or find themselves in some frustrating situations they need to understand that you need to just keep your head up and continue striving because there are thousands of others out there with far more worse situations and challenges but they are still hopeful and keeping it tight. So why shouldn't you?

Ok..Let me just give constructive criticism.

First she doesn't really have the height, so wearing the overall would definitely expose this.

Someone with height would have carried it more gracefully.

Also, the colour of the outfit is a bit dark. I wouldn't have advised such colours. If you look at her complexion and the colour of the outfit, there's almost like a semblance which makes it dull and bland to look at. When you look at someone . If she were more fairer than this, it would have been more graceful to watch as her skin colour would be a distracting point to look at.


As for the skirt or Shey na gown. Error is what I would say. A trousers or a jumpsuit would have been more appropriate. For God's sake a gown on such overalls? What was she thinking?

Rating 7/10. She's looking lovely except for just some little mistakes here and there.

lol...Which kain dressing be this? shey na her house she think she dey?

I guess those who are on extended use of sleeping pills need to watch out.

http://m.bbc.com/news/health-29127726

Anxiety and sleeping pills 'linked to dementia'

Op. Well done for the expose. I finished from there and can relate to all what you say.

I was speaking to a student of unical and you can imagine she doesn't even know what courses she's failed since 100 level until she was in final year and was about graduating. That was when her name was pasted as having issues with a course and this same issues replicate themselves in MOST schools across Nigeria. You see lecturers not releasing results for years and the student not knowing what exactly is wrong.


I know this can never happen in Unilorin as all your results must be ready and with your level adviser before the end of the session. Any lecturer who fails to mark scripts knows they are in for trouble . Some schools even still use the manual course form where you have to queue for days to just sign a single course with a lecturer. Imagine the time spent to sign with all lecturers if you have 5 or more courses.


All through my stay. I for once never witnessed a fight inside school nor did i ever hear a gunshot. I walk and even read on the walk way at 2am, 3am, 4am without a single harassment from anyone. That's how peaceful it was. 7pm and some places are no go areas in some schools.

You can aspire to any student union position as long as you don't have a skeleton in your cupboard and no single person would harass you for either campaigning or contesting. You can't enter a public toilet in another university. Just passing by and the stench emanating from them is enough to persuade you to move away quickly.

I entered a school's library some few years back and was appalled at what i saw. Even though some of the books were old and mostly outdated it didn't have to come to that. The roof were leaky and water was streaming into the library. Most of the books got wet in the process and the environment was not even conducive for reading. Abandoned building projects of almost 10 years can be seen around and heaps of garbage were found in many corners. Roads leading to students areas were terrible and most infrastructure dilapidated. Most of those students hating and typing ill things about the uni. Ask them how many months or even years did they spend at home before been mobilised for service. Some have spent nothing less than a year and a half at home and all these were not of their own wrong doing. Finish today and the next batch you are on your way to camp no matter what in Unilorin except you choose to defer it. Ask many students of other higher institutions if they never greased the palm of a lecturer in a particular course before they graduated. Either the money for some useless things or for no reason than just settling him and ask them what happened after they didn't not follow the instructions to pay money. Whether they were penalized or not. I can say it anywhere i never dropped a single naira for any lecturer and they never even force us to do so neither did they EVER sell to us any handout.



This is what an ideal school environment should be. A school should have your back. We can all huff puff and blame those at the top but look at your environment and start asking questions. What has your VC done with your school's allocation? At Unilorin I know they aren't there yet, but daily we are striving to be better.



We should all celebrate excellence and call for more. We shouldn't just accept mediocrity as the norm. Students of other schools should start asking questions and not fighting what is right.

shizzleStar: ....

i hope you understand the response was not to spite you or a personal attack. Saw you reply before you decided to edit it. Take care.

I guess the heat has been turned up in the politics section. It's time to transfer hatred and tribal bigotry to the family section. I hope people would just ignore this tool and move on. There's no appropriate response for people like the op than silence.

LyndaRoyce: Generally, humans can't/shouldnt be trusted BUT one should atleast truth his/her spouse TO A CERTAIN EXTENT...... Because LACK OF TRUST IN A MARRAIGE SERVES AS A FOOTHOLD TO PROMISCUITY.

You trust them that's why you choose to walk down the aisle. But don't say because you have trusted them now everything is automatic and you should just turn a blind eye to glaring errors and acts of distrust all because you have trust them. Your spouse you trust should constantly work on sustaining that trust.

You can tell me you don't drink, yes you have upheld that for months and now i believe you but you can't tell me i should trust you that you haven't done otherwise when i meet you six months later in a beer palour with half empty Star bottles in your front. Lol.

aisha2: Some people have deep insecurities those need help.for a sane person you go into a relationship with an open clean mind not judging that person from the actions of others when the person looses your trust then you start acting up.

However, some people have so ingrained the all men cheat mentality and keep pushing it forward like some trophy. When I say that is not true they say "just that you haven't caught that man cheating yet but he will cheat"
So really some girls will believe that and enter a relationship waiting and anticipating the day she will "catch him cheating" even when he has given no reason for suspicion, every action twisted and misinterpreted the TV

That's where communication comes in. I won't entirely blame the girl here although she shares a greater part of it but you can't also leave out what the guy's action or inaction might have been.

People believe talking and just "saying it" is communication. Does the person understand what you are saying? Are you effectively passing you message across?

There's more to communication than just talking. I would say talking takes like 20% of communication. Does the body language of the person talking tally with what they say? You need to walk the talk before someone can at least start trusting your words. It's that simple. All falls back to that word of yours "there's no automatic trust".

aisha2: Being open in a relationship solves a lot. When you build a honest open relationship you build trust, trust is earned, and it's hard work to keep it going. Most people expect automatic trust even when they are so secretive and sneaky.
If a man cannot give you a straight answer without so much story there will be doubts.

And here was i feeling like i was the only one that thought this way.

Were you reading my mind? Most people believe in automatic trust. Nothing like that exists. Maybe benefit of doubt is near automatic not even automatic . But trust is constantly being evaluated and worked on every second of the day.


Seriously, what you just stated up there is the basics for any long lasting and happy relationship.

Nashville: Simple principle. The more you earn, the more you realise you lack, so you want more.

Which actually does not tend to happiness. It thins out at a point. Any extra cash you earn does not add a pint of happiness to you. So why push things so hard? Also Prosperity in the context used by her aint greatness or a show of potentials.

tbaba1234: Again your opinions.. No sources

I have actually studied the Quran at a decent scholarly level so I find your comments rather ludicrous.

Encourages oppression?? :

You who believe, uphold justice and bear witness to God, even if it is against yourselves, your parents, or your close relatives. Whether the person is rich or poor, God can best take care of both. Refrain from following your own desire, so that you can act justly–– if you distort or neglect justice, God is fully aware of what you do.(Surah4:135)

In Medieval times, Christian scholars criticised Islam for giving Women too much freedom - now they say Islam doesn't give them enough.


I'd rather not derail the thread further.

Here's a pdf translation of the Quran.

islam24hours.yolasite.com/resources/Quran-Abdel-Haleem-Translation.pdf

You should have even moved on the moment he started spewing the rubbish about questioning the Holy Book and so on. Shows he knows little or nothing about what he says.


The ignorance is crystal clear and legendary. He is no different from some Americans who believe all Africans are poor leaf wearing people who live on trees like monkeys. Sure he draws all his knowledge not from gullible watching of some news outlet and not independent reading an intellectual would recognise is basic in understanding a phenomena.

hushmail: d scene above gets repeated over n over again

why dont pple learn from others mistake?

Each party shld what he or she expects upfront to avoid such situations

exactly. Also the guy in this scenario is irresponsible. The girl is right to ask questions about where such is proceeding. If you can't assure your partner of what goals you have why then are you guys together.

Do you just enter a bus without a destination? If your current finances can't cater for a home, there's nothing wrong with brainstorming and working with her. Nothing wrong in you guys joining hands together. Some people have even been found to naturally succeed when they get married. I won't be suprised because two good heads is better than one. If he however feels otherwise. Let him free her. That's why its better to abstain from relationships when you don't see the potential of marrying that person. Life would be more easier for everyone..

Ladies and gents need to start prioritizing and start asking questions at the very start. You should want to know if what you share is true and real and is heading somewhere. Once you have that you would have at least weeded out 50% of the gold diggers and players.

rebella: With your example, yes, you have potentials, because you are willing to work extra hard for success. By basic needs, are you including savings for a rainy day? You may not be a millionaire, but you are willing to work extra hard for success that is what potential is about

Basic needs would definitely mean saving little for eventualities and emergencies.

So would you marry a man like that? Would you stay with him even when you know success is a 50/50 thing and he basically just has that potential, drive, ambition and nothing more? Would you be willing to stay in a one bedroom apartment for years hoping the potential comes to life?

I never misunderstood you. I was just explaining your points more practically. I understand your fears about divorce. No one wants that, but just like you just agreed in your last post there are some situations where its for the greater good. I would wish divorce for my best friend if they are in a marriage that's endangering their lives.

We should start embracing the fact that separation and divorce is a better option in some situations rather than hide under that divorce is bad anthem and you " should try and make it work no matter what" theme. It only works when both partners are truly remorseful and willing to correct their mistakes and not allow it repeat itself.

But question is what's the probability that a cheating man would change? That's even if he agrees to wrongdoing.

rebella: I am sure before you reach that level of contentment you will be able to give your family the best in life, you'll be able to comfortably pay your bills right.
When I talk about potential or see potential in a man, drive and ambition is what I as a female am talking about. The man may not be the next adenuga or dangote, but he strives for success.
I do however get your point about contentment, but in the story above, Bros. Is not swimming in cash and with all the responsibilities he has he cannot even feed and take care of himself comfortably. When you cannot take care of your basic needs, how will you be content.

Let me now put this to you. Lets say I am aspiring to be a world renowed archeologist. Although the pay is not big but would take care of most basic needs of my family. I have the drive to seek and travel thousands of kilometers to research ancient sites and monuments which is the path to achieving my goals.


Personally, would you say i have potentials given that i am willing to work extra hard for success. Remember, success does not equate to money.

pickabeau1: You are the one not getting what potential is to a woman

POTENTIAL = MONEY

AcTUALISATION = More MoNEY

oh ok. Thanks for setting me aright. I was wondering why i kept seeing money, money, money and more money everywhere on this thread from MOST ladies.

Having money is good but I can now see why the society is the way it is. When everything tends towards money, no one wants to sacrifice.

But wait don't we have people who's dream and ambition is to touch and help as many people as possible or a scientist who's interested in inventing a cure for a deadly disease or a teacher who's interested in raising the leaders of tomorrow? Do we say these people don't have potentials just because their life goals doesn't involve raking in the big bucks even when what they make in that cause can actually take care of the basic needs of a family?
Now i see things more clearly. Apparently learning new things everyday.

rebella: Potential is all about ambition and drive for success. It is also about taking actions on those plans.
Nashville, I don't blame that woman at all. I witnessed a breakup between my cuz and her bf a few days ago and it was because of this same reason.
My cuz earns 5 times what her ex earns,what ticked her off was when he asked her over the phone what she was doing and she mentioned applying for a job. Oga was shocked that a chic with such a good pay would still be looking for a way to increase her earnings. She went on to ask him if he wasn't looking for a job, Bros goes on to say, not really that its only when she send him job links.

Another wrong definition of what POTENTIAL is. It's not about the money or how much your job pays.

I would gladly stay in a job that i am happy with than go for one with higher pay. It's about contentment. Higher salaries does not equate more happiness. There's a point where elasticity sets in and any extra penny you get won't add a pint of happiness to you.

shizzleStar: You may wish to expatiate on the bolded, if you don't mind

ah! Can you guys allow her move on please. Its enough trauma to be going through a divorce. You don't need to add more by letting her recant the mistakes of the past thus bringing back the hurt and the "had i know" phrase. She wants to move, stop dragging her to the past please.

^^^^@ROLLING... And i hope you don't pray for "death from STIs" to happen to that enemy of yours.

Yes divorce is hard but i guess you saw where she wrote continous infidelity. We have read on here numerous examples of husbands infecting their wives with HIV, herpes etc and going behind their backs to take treatment while leaving the wife to die. I guess that's fair to the kids also in your dictionary.


@op. You are the one that knows where it pinches and hurt most. For you to have come to this decision shows you value your personal happiness a lot. Good luck with it. I just wish you have that family cushion to help you through it. Never been married let alone being a divorcee so i don't know how it feels. But all i can say is you need the emotional help and support of your family more than ever before also it won't hurt to start looking at different options and work opportunities that would sustain you for the journey ahead.

I believe, the potential MOST women harp on most times is unwise and may lead them astray.. Most see money as the end result of what potential is. Money is just a means of exchange, there are much more to potentials than money.


Although i can't choose what people believe in but i guess when a guy is making an effort which seems honest and likely to yield results(life is a gamble though) and he is financially responsible, has a picture of a laudable goal, willing to take risks and "soil his hands" to achieve this, understands family needs and is willing to work extra hard to provide these NEEDS then i would say that guy has "potential".

But ain't it obvious that a guy that is struggling to makes ends meet prefers buying the latest galaxy s5, latest colonge, gadgets, dreams of driving an x5 in a year's time and so many other things which can be termed liabilities without any commensurable income to back those things up is a potential wreck?

Getting rich or being COMFORTABLE is a combination of many things in which ability to "save the little" you have is a big factor. I would term any guy that shows these qualities as someone with POTENTIALs, It's the CHARACTER to make it not the CURRENT results.

Excelboi: Do you mind dropping your whatsapp number or BBM pin or anything I can contact you on.

Just send me a pm

Elxandre... I read that story of yours back then bro. I understand your fears. But wait... Any resolution to this issue since you said it was widespread? Have you gone to the school to make complaints or do something about it? Do you have anyone pulling things for you? We are in a country where things are upside down.

Excelboi: I'm suffering from depression. Though I'm not thinking suicidal, but I'm fed up with so much thinking. Mind is not at rest, everything feel strange, I'm fighting it but it seems I need support. I need help urgently.

What are the issues you feel maybe the cause of your sadness or current feelings? Talking about them is a first step to get a solution. Care to share? I have seen your id pretty lots of time and from your postings i can deduce you are a happy person. So i guess this is just a lil stumble you can work on.

ozoebuka1: please I can left click on my laptop... with this problem I can really do nothing on d laptop... please help out...

don't really get what you need help with.

Don't worry, succour has come your way. You can always send it to my account. I would gladly recieve it and send it to the "appropriate" quaters.. Lol.

HumbledbYGrace: No you disappeared. M all good and how's you?

am fine dear. Happy to see you around. What have you been up to all these while? Joy ...sorry for derailing.

HumbledbYGrace: Op I like what your doing, keep up the good work. Onegig....

hey dear, sup? You ehn. You just disappeared.. Long time. How are you doing?