₦airaland Forum

Lifeless2018:
Distinguished ladies and gentlemen, I am very and absolutely excited. Thanks gentlemen for your kind wishes

Lifeless2018,

Congratulations on your winning Alabi this night.

I'm the third to quote you.

Push me small thing make we dey celebrate with you, abeg.

2081278369...UBA..

More winnings

Super Story as usual.
Is this not the same guy that was sacked in an Arab country, with multiple stops at the airport, problem with his former place of work, had an encounter with kidnappers in Nigeria and finally dishing out burutashi diickk wahala?

You no get work, oga!

Wahala be like bicycle!!!

Wall geckos are always in people's homes.

Realistically speaking, wall geckos have crawled on and touched cutleries and foodstuffs at one time or the other...If actually they are toxic with their touches, that means a lot of people would be sick and dropping dead like the zombie virus.

I believe the family was poisoned physically by someone close to them and a wall gecko was dropped in the pot to simulate the culprit of the disaster.

Anyway, life goes on but we need to be extra mindful of our environment because apart from poisonous animals that kills armed robbers, ritualists, neighbors, friends, kidnappers, wives, husbands, other members of our families, cultists, police, military, witches and wizards also kills, including ogun, amadioha and even God kills too.

Meaning that, we go eventually die soon or later sef.

The Op is just trying to be imaginative with loads of fictional events clustered together and thereby relating it as a real life personal experience.

Guys, this story is unreal, especially from PART 10 that's not yet out...This is the stage where he's going to churn out a 419 scam format from an unexpected passenger.

How can he pay for the seats in the car and the driver will have the mind to stop for an unknown passenger?

That's the angle the Op wishes to continue his neverending story....Also, don't forget that he is trying to solicit for views on YouTube saliently too, where he can make some passive income from viewers.

Last Line*******It's not a real story, take it or leave it... Cheers!!!

No1girl:
after interacting with various immigrants abroad in different countries, and living abroad myself for the past 10yrs, there have been common challenges that immigrants face but don't like to often talk about due to shame and critics. life abroad could be your breakthrough but its good when you understand both sides of the coin. here are some struggles nigerians are facing in your dream countries (canada, usa, uk, etc);

- divorce: nigerian men like to complain about their wives growing wings once they reach abroad knowing fully well the system here is different. some women too no dey try, e be like say dey done ready the man, say once dey reach abroad, dey go show am shege. women love it here, the system empowers us. duh
i would imagine these wouldn't be an issue for a healthy couple that love and support each other.

- fake life: yes it looks good here. thinking of the dollar rate alone, there's no way your uncle abroad can convince you that he doesn't have any money, because you won't believe anyway. so your uncle will choose to live up to the expectation of looking good, taking nice pictures in the snow (on his days off from work) and dropping it hot on your socials to impress you. you love and respect that uncle, don't you? well, at least until he doesn't send dollarz home.

- broke af: uncle is broke. he's trying to pay off the money borrowed and spent on visa, fraudulent travel agents and expensive tickets while coming abroad. and even though he has spent 3yrs in canada, well think of the small small money he has sent so far. uncle dey try na. plus he has monthly bills to pay, like electricity, car insurance, house rent, phone bill, credit card debts, internet bills, life insurance ........

- child neglect: i'm a single mum with 2 beautiful daughters and i japa from nigeria to provide better life for my kids. yes sometimes i works 16hrs shift, and my kids have to stay at home by themselves, the eldest is 12yo and her younger sister is 9yo. i don't like leaving them at home by themselves especially because of social services but money has to be made na, i have plenty responsibilities. there is no grandma or house help to look after them here but, they will understand the sacrifice i'm making, when they grow up.

life abroad has lots of positives and its good to experience it (if you want to), but its not all rosy. plan & strategize.
wishing you the best.


*you can comment on the rest





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGd4AOA64TU

Hi No1girl,

I read your post with utmost attention and found out that you are really a hard-working mom who loves taking absolute care of her lovely and adorable daughters...Thumbs up!

You really did justice by your expository expectations for a Nigerian who intends to JAPA outta of the country...Thumbs up!

I've a request that you need to look at, please - I'm interested in loving you until eternity...I want to be an integral part of your life, just like your daughter's.

Can we bond together?

You can send me a mention on this thread, please or better still, pm.

Happy life in abroad!

PIDGIN English wins it for me as all my neighbors in New York were laughing the hell outta there asses during the German vs Japanese match.

The commentator na die Warri guy wey carry better oil for head...The guy pure no be small thing oh!

mesmer:
Funding Time is here

First 10 monikers that quote this post gets #100 naira funding

Drop your Bookie i.d or number for Airtime

mesmer is the name

08134198785

Nia69:
I can't decide.

What about you?

You smoke weed ni?

With that kind of money, you can go any extra miles for it and even dine with LUTH patients.

Geerrout of here!

Adun27:
Please some weeks ago, I found out that her colleague (a male) calls her often. I told her but immediately she flair up and went to work with anger, she told me that the boy was calling him for work meanwhile they will see for sure the second workday, when you left home angrily without even fighting her.

The boy sent me some texts on WhatsApp explaining that she wants to collect a phone from my wife blahblahblah, I never replied the text, the boy called me twice on the second day and I didn't pick, my wife told me that the boy saw her face look angry and that's why he asked what was wrong with her and she explained to him, she told me that was why he was texting me.

Yesterday, I found out that the same boy still calls my wife and my wife calls him too, when I raised the issue again she flair up telling me the boy was calling him to ask her welfare.
What is confusing is that the first time they talk different things, why would a reasonable guy continues calling her after he knew it caused fight the first time, why would she continue too when she knows that it's threatening her marriage.

My wife has been denying me sex for 3 months, tell me if that's possible for a girl who loves to Bleep.

My wife has a child for me and she has been supportive financially, she does house chores everything, but she had betrayed me twice before, one was cheating, the other she stole money coniving with my cousins at my former business.

Please somebody advise me what to do.

Text me on WhatsApp, I'll tell you the software you can use to listen to all her voice calls...I'll post you the link on WhatsApp and reroute to her phone.

The software can run a script that can extract her voice calls from few months ago...Also, you can program the software to download all the voice calls in her history as a download reroute to your own mobile phone.

All these could serve as your evidence to nail her.

Anyway, the software is N5k - non negotiable.

My WhatsApp is : 0/8/1/3/4/1/9/8/7/9/5

Blesstar:
Good evening Nlanders.

A quick one..
I need your sincere opinions...

Married couples in the house, would you still WANT to be married to your current wife or husband in your next life?
(That's if there's such a thing as a next life though)

And pls do well to give reasons for your answers.

Marriage be like wahala nah bicycle...It's not an easy experience...It has to do with a lot of mental, physical, emotional and financial calculations...If you are not strong in all those domains I mentioned above, you'll definitely crumble like a pack of cards and your marriage will move away like the wind.

In the next world, I woul have wished to marry someone else that would've fit my descriptions.

Anyway, marriage is not even compulsory, it is the society that forced it on us...An Alps male doesn't need a female...It's just chop and go.

Cheers!!!

Chenult:
I just finished doing it now. And I'm fed up. But can't help it.

Fastest way is to cut off your diicck or marry...After marriage, you will fuucck your wife everyday to stupor.

KeyEndurance:
Hello Everyone Please I Need Your Help. Whenever Am Alone My Dick will Stand Gallant like A Soldier but When Am With A girl To Have sex the Thing Will Start Sleeping. Please Is There Any Medicine That Can Solve This problem?

Guy, when you are with the girl, rub aboniki on your dicck and see it rise to maximum.

Thank me later.

[quote author=gommez post=118353733]u wan hammer for this christmas[/quote

Yes nah!

gigdip999:
Simply dont call them back, cos if u do all ur credit and bank details will automaticaly transfer to their phone. Cos i no a close friend that runs it

How far, guy?

Can your friend teach me the tactics on this code?

humility101:
I met this lovely lady (30 yo) online 2 months ago. She is in Nigeria and I’m in the Uk. We have been actively chatting, phoning and having lots of facetime. She’s got all they qualities I need in a wife. She has also gone to see my peeps once and they said nice things about her.

I’m planning on wedding her this Christmas and she can join me immediately (UK can be very lonely without a partner) on a dependent visa.

But sometimes I pause and ask myself, I hope I’m not rushing this whole thing? I hope she is not pretending to be nice? I hope she truly loves me? I hope she is not seeing me as a means to japa? A lot of questions going through my mind. This is marriage and I don’t wanna make mistakes.

Advice me please.

Guy,

I'm happy you have marriage in your heart and you are ready to settle down...That's a great idea!

Furthermore, I'm so delighted that you believe you have found the bone of your bone.

However, before you can finally take the marriage oath, you are supposed to do an independent background check on her different from the observations your family may have made.

I can help you with that service because I've done it for clients in the past with different findings which are sometimes favorable and unfavorable.

Don't forget that bringing an unchecked partner into the UK is a big project so that you wouldn't regret it on the long run.

Three weeks ago, someone from this Nairaland forum based in the USA contacted me to do a background check on a friend and I was able to carry out the check in a week with positive findings and he was really glad with the output.

Anyway, contact me on WhatsApp: 2/3/4/8/1/3/4/1/9/8/7/9/5 so that we can get the ball rolling.

I wish you a happy union soon if that is God's decision.

Cheers!

OnlineStaff
Private Investigator

pikomamamusicwo:
Good pm niranlanders, how una dey?

I married very early, that Is five years ago, immediately i started working. Immediately we gave Birth to our first child, I was sacked from my place of work in a mysterious way. All our house equipment was sold, we left a comfortable apartment to a single room.

At a time, I was doing menial jobs just for us to feed. One day, in the process of seeking for solution to get my job back, I got to a church, and the pastor asked me to come with my wife, which I did, to my surprise, the pastor asked my wife, why are you afraid for your husband to have money? You are thinking if he makes money he will marry other women, he said pls pray for your husband to succeed, he is bigger than this.

And he asked my wife to come back for deliverance, but she refused.

Secondily, I went to another place, a spirituallist, and a female, she said I married wrongly, that the girl I was supposed to marry I missed it. She said I should come with my wife, and I did, she said my wife has another spirit, that she feels the marriage will not last...but till today, nothing I put hand dey work, most times we live together but never discuss together, we just live like strangers at home, and most time I regret getting married. I don't really know what to do now, I can't support my parents like before, they are not happy with me...

pls I need advice, prayers and support.

Guy, whatever I'm going to tell you right now is real and you will have to take my advice by fire by thunder or else you will keep on wallowing in this trenches for many years.

See, you need to divorce your wife asap even though she has given birth to a child and you invested in the marriage. I know your family members and hers have been involved, it doesn't matter.... Remove hand now that it's fresh or else, body go tell you in the future.

You'll never be compatible with that your wife even though small money enters your hand because it will definitely fade away and you guys will always be having myriads of problems.

Your wife is a bad egg from the spiritual realm and her presence with you will frustrate you seriously...If you keep on having kids by her and thinking that the problems in your home will reduce, na lie you lie.

Can you call me so that we can discuss further?

I don't want to type much because there are different elements on Nairaland.

0/81/3/4/1/9/8/7/9/5

captainzee4life:
I'm so confused now as I pen down this.

Each time I call my brother to please send me money for upkeep in school, he won't give me. I asked him why but he will tell me he doesn't have it.

But whenever they tell him I'm sick in school by the sick bay head, he will rush and send money into the account for drugs.

During the long strike, I worked at a bread factory to raise money for my upkeep in school in school.

Now, my department has a compulsory excursion and it way expensive. I called him and told him and he said, "He doesn't have the money."

I used the money I saved to pay for the compulsory excursion. I will be down with nothing for upkeep.

I don't want to lie or keep lying about my health to get money from him.

Please senior and mature sirs/ma in the house what should I do? I have run out of options.

Entitlement mentality ass licker spotted.

FhiBi:
Narrate how your first kiss was. There's fun in narrating it.

Na olosho give me my first kiss with just N40...She used that same mouth to suck my diiickk and I cummeed in her mouth and she swallowed it like water.

Op, that was my experience!

Are you happy?

The Op is a dirty and spoilt brat...So, you mean you shoved your dad aside when he was trying to correct you?

When you were spanking your niece, did your niece pushed you aside?

I believe it's the big gbola you have been receiving from those drug addicts in campus, that's what is motivating you to act like an unrepentant thug at home, abi?

Na God go punish the Op, a million times... You no go die better...Your husband in the future will definitely beat you Wella for marriage, smelly punna.

Entitlement mentality has eaten deep into her that she could reject N50k for this Buhari era...That's the greatest height of direspect...Your mother did not train you well and she obviously has a bad character like you that's why your father has relegated her to the bottom like Southampton in EPL and the coach has been sacked.

Have you seen that it's very hard to make money? You are the one complaining now.

Once again, God will punish you and your mother woefully...Always making men seem as if they are the guilty ones everytime.

I wish God did not create all these necessary evil and smelly punna females.

Are you a Jew man or maga that wants to marry out of the blue because you see one small girl wey get small backyard?

I pity you seriously.

You are rushing this small girl because you are 36 and want to please yourself...Guy, that's so selfish...That girl will finish you in due time because she is way smarter than you and she has seen that you are so desperate.

In short, you are a simp and can never be an alpha.

Girl wey never enjoy life out of school, nai you wan colonize.

Kelvindate:
I want to know if I pay you the 2k for the PayPal account, will you be the one to create the email and will there still be any need for me to get any debit card or everything will be handled by you.

We need to create a new email for you as the old one has been flagged by Paypal.
You don't need a debit card as a Virtual card will be used on the account.
Please, just text or call me on my direct line (not WhatsApp) : Communication is faster that way. 0/8/1/3/4/1/9/8/7/9/5.

The account you created cannot RECEIVE Dollars with it oh but I can help you create an unlimited PayPal account that can RECEIVE and SEND Dollars with all VERIFICATIONS neatly done.

It's N2000 for my services...Text me only on my direct line: 0/8/1/3/4/1/9/8/7/9/5.

Please, don't WhatsApp, internet is down.

Okwuapkunaonu:
I won a bet yesterday since three weeks now. 760k

God has blessed you in this hard times with that huge cash.

Your guy never eat oh, can you do me small thing...I'll appreciate it a lot.

2081278369
UBA

God will bless you with millions this weekend with more winnings.

How do you transact BTC?
Meet me on WhatsApp 0 81..34_1..98..79..5.
Lets discuss.

Martinez39s:
Take heart, bro. We were all indoctrinated into various religions and superstitions growing up, thanks to our parents who should have known better. To varing degrees, we've all been victims of our ignorance and superstitions... sometimes, at the hands of crooked men (eg. clergies and spiritualists) who exploited these things.

Good thing is you are now awake. God is nonexistent; we are on our own; and there is no supernatural force from anywhere coming to bail anyone out. Cheers!

True talk.
We are all Gods in our own rights.
The real God doesn't have our time.
Satan is winning the race.
The so called men of God are cashing in on our ignoramus.

zrealjaheal:
My whole life I have left this country thrice... birthed in france (story for another day)

Now when I saw things were about falling apart I decided to run to Germany... noted
: money wasn't the issue then but I was denied. . Tried SA was granted but I had to consult (by consult went to a prophet) he said why I was rejected for Germany was because I was living a wayward life. That I should put SA on hold and try Sweden(got no one in SA but I do have folks in Sweden)

Na so I enter better fasting.. shanked all the so called wayward life. Had to move down to the church sef make temptation no get the best of me lol

No embassy swedish embassy then you have to go submit your documents at ikoyi vfs. .


The day I was suppose to pick up my visa ... Bro I was denied again. . Nearly ran mad.. and thus time money done finish. .

Went to the prophet told him the outcome

He said
"Take heart my son God knows best for everything there is reason"


I just jejely waka comot after he was done with prayers head to the nearest bar got my soul filled


Really eh story too much. .

Forget all these men of God and their scams...They are just gamblers.

Trust in yourself and move on.

Once again, men of God are ALL scam artists.

zrealjaheal:
What about hustle without prayers nko?

Forget prayers guy...Prayers is all a wash to subjugate you.