₦airaland Forum

HCH3COO:
so my life is now material things  
how many years of hardwork did i put in to sweat out all those material things  

The second you put a pre nupt into the equation, your life is nothing but material things. because that is what a pre nupt really means. you are trying to protect your material things. not your so called heart, but your material things.

Akinagirl:
Your right. They clearly don't understand the institution of marriage, and what it is built upon.

They say that women are the ones who think of money, but look all these post. These so called men are basing their marriages on material things and THEIR future. but they have no sense because these things mean nothing because they can go just like that. while your wife love is everlasting.

Akinagirl:
men!

These are boys.

Joseph6:
let me put myself in the your shoes hmmm i'm supposed 2 marry one bug politicians daughter and she's like worth my entire state but  not until her father dies does she have the full ownership, so one thing is sure, he's goin 2 die now she draws a crazy prenup with the typical conditions i'm upset at first because its what people do after they see a prenup then i'm goin 2 take it up as a challenge and sign it immediately no wasting time,  and if  that was only a test didnt i pass? its very easy sign it and forget about the whole thing except u know 4 sure gold digging is your major reason 4 marryin the guy

Please, you didn't even try to put yourself in my shoes.

dudu19:
@onyiye

why u dey abuse me, ohhh no wonder u wont accept a pre_nupt u sound really weak and untrustworthy, am sure u are emotionally isolated.

Don't ever call me weak or untrustworthy again. Who are you to tell me that i am emotionally isolated?

You men are nothing but insecure, no trusting creatures. How dare you i mean how dare you approach me your future wife with a pre nupt. I would be hurt out of my mind. You guys just don't understand how it feels to know the man of your dreams feels that he can't trust your love enough. You don't know how it would feel when you though the man you are willing to sacrifice for feels that our marriage might end so sign this for "security". You don't know how it would feel to see the look on my friend's and family's face when they eventually find out that i signed a pre nupt. You don't know how it would feel to see my friend and her husband together in trust and happiness while my marriage is built on distrust.

funny how not one of you so called men answered my post.

Akinagirl:
Exactly.

I sware you are my long lost twin!!

HCH3COO:
Not signing that love certificate shows me that
1.  You care too much about yourself and can't put your feelings aside to consider mine
2.  your thoughts do not include my security
3.  you don't think it's appropriate for me to worry about my future
4.  you don't want me to live with the truth that divorce is a reality
5.  you might be a gold digger
5.  you don't love me enough with all of you

What about the woman's feelings?? I mean how do you expect her to sign it?? With a kool-aid smile on her face and her lucky pen? When you marry someone, they become apart of your future. By you throwing a pre nupt in her face, it shows you are locking her out of your future and heart. If you want to feel secure, talk to me about it. Don't go around giving me papers to sign.

[quote author=Okija_juju link=topic=154844.msg2572973#msg2572973 date=1217297110]Now you've got it all wrong

A pre-nupt simply shows that

1. I really do want this marriage to be about love and not about money
2. That although I believe that you love me, the only certain thing in life is change. _{What happens when you runinto that sexy argentinian you were talking bout??}
3. I am a very careful person who is trying to protect his heart against gold-diggers and hustlers.
4. I want to be able to feel secure with you, knowing your heart is fully with me in this marriage.
5. And last but not the least, that you'll truly be there for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, i sickness and in health, till the very end.[/quote]Before i post, you are TRULY HILARIOUS!!! (argentina comment)

Anyways you don't need to give a woman a pre nupt. I mean that is the ultimate sign of distrust. I mean if that happened to me i would be hurt. So hurt i would even be able to put it in words. I mean here you are a man that im willing to spend the rest of my life, and there you come with a pre nupt. I would just break down in tears. That is just so wrong that you wouldn't understand. I understand you want to protect your heart, but are you willing to hurt your women's dignity during the process?? And you don't need a pre nupt to test if a woman will ride or die with you. You should feel it in your heart before you marry her.

dudu19:
@joseph6,

As men, we all know that a woman's primary objective is to marry. After some years of experience I've discovered their mostly used strategy. here it is:

1. Girl pressures guy for marriage.
2. Guy delays.
3. Girl gradually starts destroying guy's self-esteem and eliminating his friends.
4. Guy becomes too weak and too much of a loser to find something better than what he has.
5. Girl starts to limit sex. In effect controlling the only good thing in the guy's life.
6. Guy is in despair. Capitulates to marriage.

Doesn't sound like no real man. sounds like a dumbass

HCH3COO:
It's good that you respect a man who feels his future is important, so you can show your respect for him by signing that certificate of security and love.  He has already fulfilled your part of his future by marrying you, now he can fulfill that part of his future that scares him.  The purpose is not to test your trust; it is to show him that you can think beyond the contents of a paper.  But obviously not since you are too concerned about yourself.

Im not concerned about myself. Im concerned on how he views me, us, him,our relationship. A pre nupt shows that

1. you have thoughts that this marriage aint going to last.
2. you don't have any trust in me
3. you don't view me as a sincere woman but a gold digger.
4. you feel that you aint secure enough on our love so you still need "insurance" on it.
5. And last but not least, you don't love or trust me enough with all of you.

Akinagirl:
Pre-nups to me are just a sign of distrust.

Thank you sistah!!!!

dudu19:
@onyiye, very few marriages last nowadays, most marraiges are grossly overrated source of happiness. And for most that go through divorce, it will financially ruin a mans life without pre_nupts. Period. You can take probably his best 10 earning years from say, 35 to 45 and take all the wealth he would have accumulated and flush it down the toilet. Because it will go to her and her lawyer.

Actually more marriages last then they do end. so get your numbers straight.

HCH3COO:
It's not distrust o and he doesn't view you as a gold digger, it's security.  He's thinking longterm, why can't you appreciate a man who feels his future is as important as his present  

I do respect a man that feels his future is important. But i am also in his future. He should feel that he can trust me with all of him. And feel that i will do no wrong to him because i love him. and i only want to see you do good.

[quote author=Okija_juju link=topic=154844.msg2572859#msg2572859 date=1217295386]Please ask her o!  Instead of understanding that maybe I am coming from a terrible past and only trying to secure my heart, she is busy thinking bout how I don't trust her with my posession.


I truly am sorry if you feel offended, because that is not my intention. But you must also know that hoodrats don't come with I.D's. Why are you even thinking bout the pre-nupt?? can't you just sign it as a proof of the depth of your love?? Maybe, just maybe signing it might just convince me that you are for real and I might even consider scraping it.[/quote]By me signing it, i am signing a marriage that is built up on distrust. You should be able to love me and feel that there is no need to test it with a pre nupt. Because that is one test i will refuse to take and will leave. I will leave heartbroken and weak, but i will leave.

HCH3COO:
Walk out just like that It just shows him that you are selfish and can't put his feelings before yours. His worries should be your worries too.

How the hell im i being selfish? His behind is the one that views me as a gold digger. I will put his feelings before mine, but i dont put distrust before mine.

HCH3COO:
Thinking it can't happen to you means you're just not thinking.

It aint gonna happen to me. As soon as i see the paper, I'm out. And he would have missed out on the best thing he could have had.
[quote author=Okija_juju link=topic=154844.msg2572794#msg2572794 date=1217294457]I don't at the moment but give me a couple of years and a few minutes.

Ask for experience with women, Please don't take me down that road. But I still do think well of women, just that a little insurance never hurt nobody.[/quote]Insurance for what?? Seriously brotha, you can't be throwing pre nupts at ladies and not expect them to be offended. I aint even with you and im offended. It shows that you view me as one of those hoodrats that parade around the streets instead of the REAL woman that you plan on marrying.

[quote author=Okija_juju link=topic=154844.msg2572761#msg2572761 date=1217293945]Just wait till she sees the G5 jet, a 30ft Yatch, the house in the bahamas, the Rolls Royce Phantom, the platinum card, the villa in dubai, the Jewelries and all the money. Then you'll will start wondering what happened to for better, for worse.
In fact na Johnny Corkrin go represent her.[/quote]First of all, i HIGHLY HIGHLY doubt you own or seen any of these material things listed. Why do you feel women are nothing but GD?? You must have had a bad experience with a woman.

HCH3COO:
Truly Questionable !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL!!!!! ONYINNNNN - not all women think like you.


_{what you say isn't what you'll do}

I don't need your money. Being that i will soon be a doctor, his money will be chump's change. I this is what im saying and that will be exactly what i would do. But i hope and pray to God that i never have to ordeal the emotional and physical stress of divorce. I have seen some pretty bad break ups and i really hope i never fall victim to that.

HCH3COO:
Tell them daddy's playing superman. The little ones love superheroes, especially if their dad is the superhero.

But i believe your question has already been addressed a few posts back

Yeah i was just making a point. All i know if my man dared try and go join army, i will see it as him choosing his country over his own family.

HCH3COO:
Ahh! But when the marriage pafukas your sincere intentions won't stop you from wanting half my money 
Would you sincerely decline to go off with half of my 300 million dollaz

I wouldn't accept a dime of your money. Because i will have my own money to live on. All i will ask for is child support because those are his kids too.

dreeldee:
these other willing men are married to women just like you so i wonder who's going to go to war if every woman won't allow her hubby to go fight for his country, _{just wondering}

I understand what you are saying but i just couldn't imagine my husband leaving me to go fight some war that will probably end with some treaty. I just wouldn't be able to sleep, eat, or anything. All my attention will be focused on when he is coming home, if he is coming home. I mean what would i tell my kids when they ask about him? That daddy is okay, when i know deep down that might not be true.

[quote author=Okija_juju link=topic=154844.msg2572680#msg2572680 date=1217292581]Well, look at it like this. Since you are so certain that you really love me and have no interest in my money, then you don't need to be bothered by the pre-nupt.[/quote]You don't get the point. By coming to me with a pre nupt, it shows that you have absolutely no trust in my love for you. You don't think that im entering the marriage with sincere intentions.

dreeldee:
if y'all are so against your hubbies joining the military and going to war then who's going to defend you when the enemies come waging war against you

There are other willing men ready to go to war. But MY husband NEEDS to stay here with his wife and family.

will you quiet all this jive about pre nupts.

[quote author=Okija_juju link=topic=154844.msg2572636#msg2572636 date=1217291805]NO

It means I love you, but shit can happen.[/quote]It sure don't sound like love to me. It sounds like you have trust issues and insecurities.