₦airaland Forum

@sistawoman

oka i don't know how you do it cause i don't think i could be a submissive wife. it just doesn't work with me. yes i will take care of my husband but to wade on him hand and foot is a hell naw for me. Growing up my father was a man but he treated my mom as his equal. And a marriage can be 50/50 if you try. I don't understand how people can withstand marriages in which things are 75/25. i don't like being seen as inferior to anybody so i don't want no one controlling me or telling me what to do. he can tell our children what to do but as for me, i do what i feel is right in my heart not after being told what to do. I dare for him to think he aint never going have to cook for himself cause my father cooked for himself all the time. and my mom took care of hte bills every now and again. so i guess it depends on what you were brought up with.

KarmaMod:
Are you saying your girlfriend's father isnt a "man" because he has emotions?

yeah i was tooken back about his statement too.

Studentet:
@ Onyinye,

My research shows most women get annoyed when they expect the man to take the decision and show the lead rather than asking her what he should do.

oka i dont want no punk as a husband because that aint nothing no one want. yea there will be times that i will have to except the fact he is the man and society says he needs to step up and take control. but i dont need no man telling me what to do. i have a mind of my own. and i dont want him to make all the decisions in the household. i mean it is my household too. i deserve to have a say and make decisions too.

stillwater:
Why shouldn't he be a leader?

he can be the leader, just not over me. i dont need someone telling me what to do. i have my own parents for that. and i dont want just one of us to be the leader of the relationship. why can't it be 50/50? there we both have a say and no one soul person makes the final decision but we both can.

well even though im a woman, im going to put my two cents into this. oka i heard your post was a little tooken back. First of all you said that women were too emotional. Negative. Second you said that you never seen a man cry. I want to ask you why you seemed so shocked when you first saw a man cry.Third of all, why does your dad have to be the leader of the relationship? why couldnt it be 50/50?

Studentet:
So is courtship supposed to find out  if u can live with him or her, or if u should dump him or her?

in basic words. . . yes. in a sense it makes you really think if you really can see yourself with this person in the future.

Chat2MeBac:
Atleast the animals would have appreciated and treated her well, Not like y'all amphibians

Truly Hilarious!!

Chat2MeBac:
Exactly, I am sure at some pointing time, both parties would have agreed that they are taking it further,  But these yeye boys here ranting about ladies reading into things that are not. Gosh. Why didn't Eve just poison Adam and save the world??

i find myself asking that question more and more as time goes on. but on the real, yeah both individuals should MUTUALLY decide taking the relationship to that level. if one party decides and the other doesn't there is going to be some serious problems. because that person gone think you moving things too fast and ya needs ta cool your jets.

@post

it depends on the individuals involved. for me and my relationships, yeah there is going to have to be some courtship involved. i want to know  that you are fully committed in the relationship. so when and if we marry i know that you will also be committed in that too. friendship can lead to proposal but how do you know that person will be committed to the relationship? now that is the question that needs an answer.

Purple hibiscius was my all time favorite book. i mean it was a classic. it reminded so much of things that i swore i must have known the main girl.

if i ever treated my parents like that in any way, my parents would have sent me to boarding school in Nigeria. i would never in my forsaken life raise my voice to any one of my elders especially my parents. and to top that off hit them. OMG!! my dad would have torn my ass up with that switch. yal know what im talking about. yal's parents had that switch prime and ready to discipline any one of yal if yal had the nerve to act up. but on the real, if that child was mine, i would beat the trouble out of him and then deliver him to his father.

[quote author=gabe_logan link=topic=153387.msg2544032#msg2544032 date=1216767628]@ poster

you are 16!!!!!!!!![/quote]but didn't he say he is going to college in 2 months?? im thinking he is 18 or 19

@post

personally i think yal should just talk and not spend the night. have a nice evening reminisce about old times then get your ass home. you have no idea what home boy has been doing these past 2 months so i would just not "hook up" and besides all sex does is complicate things and it sounds like your life is complicated enough.

well i would have a serious sit down with the boy. i mean a serious one. no distractions and figure where his head is. You aint getting any younger and the more you wait the more opportunities are just passing by. personally i would do some serious soul searching if i really want to be in this relationship "FOR LIFE!!!" and that whole genotype thing does cause problems when you have children because i know folks who have sickle cell and they get by. well any ways just do what God tells you to do in your heart and all will be fine.

eldee:
Exactly, know what you want, even if it's just a placeholder . . .
It's only our african women that feel every dude that takes 'em to Mr Biggs three times is Mr Right
I've never seen a country so marriage obsessed . . . my daizzz

I thought relationships always start with 'Let's see where we can go with this' before 'Let's take it to the next level'

oka watever eldee. we are not marriage obsessed. we just don't want to waste our time with some fool who can barely tell the difference from left to right. so just because a lady might think ahead where the relationship might go as in marriage doesn't mean she is obsessed with it.

Hannibal:
Some men would actually run away from u when u start bringing up marriage issues and stuffs.
One step at a time, ladies. . . . . . . no man wants to be with a desperate babe ready to do whatever for the altar.

okay im not saying that as soon as i walk into the relationship im going to start talking of marriage or spending our lives together. im saying that i would date people i would see as potential life partners.

@post

i feel that if im dating a person of course im going to think about the future. i mean isn't that the point of relationship. to see if you can spend the rest of your life with that person. i dont understand how people are in relationships for two years and still have no plans on marriage.

@post

i want atleast five kids. i would especially adore twin boys!!!

OMO IBO:
are u by any chance bored? its 10pm and we are both on nairaland. that must say alot u know.

hmmm, ten. not for all of us. here it 4 p.m.

4 Play:
Doyin has baby mamas in all the London boroughs. . . . the boy can't keep his nob to himself. His constant run-ins with CSA(Child Support Agency) is legendary.  

Truly Hilarious!!!

doyin13:
Hannibal gives the impression of being a Arrow, PILLOCK, SOCIAL REPROBATE, SAVANT.

Never met a more honest chap in my life.

TRULY QUESTIONABLE!!!!

Seun:
I don't think it's such a bad idea, really, to have potential romantic partners you're just friends with.

so you would allow the girl you were dating to have male potential partners as friends. if yes, you are quite confident with your women.

@hannibal

now you are just being mean right now.

doyin13:
@4PLAY

Is it true H.R Hotness is chairwoman of PEAK MILK?

ahh now that is just mean

crazykid:
Don't get me wrong; even if I compete for a girl, it would be for the lust I have for her not love; it would be just to satisfy my physical desire that all.

There's no way I can love a girl whom I know loves another guy; it makes no sense.

hmmm, this is truly questionable. im still a little doubtful about your posts.

Queenisha, im sorry but maybe im more modest about certain things. cause i knew if i was married, i would never even allow the topic to even come about. i just believe that what goes on between a married couple should stay with them. by disclosing your relations between you and your spose to a friend, i don't know but it just seems very disrespectful.

KarmaMod:
Those that should be embarrassed as those who are NOT good in bed with their hubbies

Be flattered if his friend is jealous of your husband  

that is just sick. i would never want that kind of attention from my husband's friend. that is just super gross. certain things need to stay between yal two and everyone should never ever ever find out.

Queenisha:
we just talk of how good they are and how to make it even gooder since my friend is as romantic as myself.
We love to be loved.

no way in the world would i even bring up such things. i dont wanna know what you do behind closed doors and i sure aint telling what i do. somethings need to be left on hush mouth.

crazykid:
I can’t compete with another guy over a girl; it doesn’t make any sense;

so you never competed with another guy over a girl?? hmmm, sounds a little like lying to me.

Lady J:
honestly i can't share my husband's sexual perfomance wt anybody;I CANT

that just seems weird and awkward. i mean what kind of conversation would that be. "Oh husband is so great in bed. He knows all the rights spots to touch me in and everything". yeah couldn't do it. and besides i feel that is a bit disrespectful. what goes on between a husband and wife should stay between a husband and his wife.

Oh yes i did get the link you posted for me and it has been really helpful. oh i have been around and about. learning to speak is hard work. but i know a few more phrases then before. the only problem now is getting enough courage to speak it around igbo people.