₦airaland Forum

I strongly believe she's 27. That's exactly the number of men she sleeps with each year. You wouldn't be 27 and looked older without you being a real banger.

My calmness, receptiveness and kindness towards others.

She's damn ugly. Big lips, fat face, elongated jaw, poorly dressed, fake make-ups and trying to appear relevant.

Sike,monkey no fine but him papa like am. She's beautiful in her own way sha.

Thanks, just that people always shy away from the truth.

kemoolala: if u see a woman looking for the fruit of the womb for 20 yrs then u will know dat it is a miracle wen a woman conceive and bring forth the baby at the due time.

Agreed on this one

kemoolala: it is the signs and wonders wen a woman gives birth safely! ask those that died in d process they will tell u it is a wonder really!

It's not called signs and wonders, it is God's blessings.

Kx: It was a sign.
Babies are bearers and embodiment of signs and wonders.

They were due and had to deliver somewhere. People deliver anywhere ranging from inside taxi to toilet and so on. It's a natural phenomenon and not logic or signs and wonders.

If you're not ready to get frustrated, then don't marry. If you're not the type that takes insult, marriage is not for you. If you're the intolerable one, then be ready to fight. If you're the "Me and my Husband" type, you better remain in your father's house. If you're used to spending and spending and don't always get rejected, tighten your trouser for battle. If you think you've known your guy inside out, brace yourself for the shocker of your life. If you think marriage is a bed of roses, think again,'cause roses does not care.

And finally, if you think marriage is a platform to enjoying the best of what life has to offer without you sacrificing a lot, you better find a lesbo partner.

Wealth, today, is not only a matter of status or hard work but a symbol of the magnitude of God’s blessing as asserted by Christian leaders; the source of the wealth being immaterial. Endless sermons on prosperity and less on salvation of the soul is the order of the day. Sermons on death, which is certain for all, is avoided like a plague and the worshippers are fed with sermons on the life of this world alone — how to live in it in affluence and prosperity without bounds.

Shiloh today, Festival of life tomorrow. Special anointing service this friday, Lagos and Ibadan express way in two weeks. A trend so too common with an average Nigerian Christian. With the percentage of graduates forever going up, one is immediately reminded that education does not matter when it comes to consuming prosperity teachings. Wole Soyinka recently acclaimed that he wished there is no religion; a common notion found in most elite. After-all, Jesus nor his disciples never made one. Jesus is the way the Bible says: a way of out religion if expounded.

With the current trend of big Churches owning universities and their Pastors buying jets, smaller Churches now pray and tithes endlessly to meet the demands of the 21st century in order to sustain its growth. Christianity is meant to be the ideal model for man. Yet, with its elements astray, a tainted model can’t yield the same expected spotless result of a corrupt-free society. Materialism, which is the root of corruption, has tainted the idealism of Christianity leaders. Christianity has always appreciated hard work which, with a good blend of time management should, in no way, affect religious obligations. Thus, the body and soul get fed with legitimate earnings.

Without mentioning names or Churches, there are no evidences whatsoever to support the notion that these Churches account for the prosperity of its members. The physically blind, deaf, and all manner of disabled people received instant healing and cure during Jesus's time on earth, backed by statistics, data and evidence. These days, Churches that profess to do these things are often caught in a line of deceit quite so often. In this prosperity-crazy dispensation practiced by these New Generation Churches, the amount you give to your Church would determine how rich you become. When did Christianity becomes a trade by bata? Christianity is not a business entity but a state of mind.

Finally, it is a good thing to want to bless your religious head for praying for you, but it is a wrong assumption to attribute the blessings you received to that religious head. Christianity leaders can also go a long way in curbing corruption by de-emphasising the overt recognition of the wealthy. They should begin to ask questions about questionable donations. They should also become totally selective in their acceptance of donations/charity. This would go a long way in dissuading shady characters from bringing their ill gotten wealth as donations for fear of rejection. With less places to show off their ill gotten wealth, there should be less drive to acquire these wealth.

Looking unto Jesus.

R.I.P.

PayWell: I just bought two pillows from an aboki, got home, took off the nice plastic wrappings and then PERCEIVED a nasty smell, not what i expected of a new product.

Became curious, took a razor blade and cut it open.

What i saw was undecipherable, pieces of very old and dirty foam.

Ouch!!! The Stench. I guess the very old and dirty foam was taken from the dustbin.

I am dump-folded. I have just been swindled of my hard earned cash and what about the health hazard posed by such a product.

LAGOS BUYERS BEWARE!!!

Sorry to hear to that, but do you really have to say "my hard earned cash?". Believe me or not, pride, haughtiness, arrogance, conceit, glory, all go before a fall.

Be thankful, humble, and nice to people. Let people commend your effort and hard work.

BBC never report this. Na black man abi, wetin concern!!

Ugliest capital ever!!! And some are comparing Northern states with this bullshhitt.

justwise: How will both of them prove that they are married in Nigeria while they are not?

Uhh, just read the post again. Thought they're married..my bad. I kept calling him her husband

[quote author=divine_girl8850]Hello everyone,maybe is not the right place to ask ,but hope someone can help with advice.
I'm EU citizen settled in UK and want to get married to my Nigerian fiance ,who is illegal here in UK.We are together almost 3 years now and want to marry and settled his stay as well ,but look is not going to be that easy with all this emigration laws.
We have made application to UKBA for partnership and allowing him to marry and stay as my partner ,but our solicitor advised us if we can get marry will be perfect and will solve this out for us.(8 months now and still no reply )
We already get refusal from my embassy in UK to marry us if he can't present a valid visa.The next options we thinking about is church or Registry Office (for the second one I'm worry what docs they required and if they don't come to look after him withing this 15 days we have to wait ).
Please ,if someone knows a way how we can get married to write me.
Thanks you.[/quote]You don't just make applications without knowing the law. You cannot apply for a partner/spouse visa since your husband is an an over-stayer. But you can make an Indefinite Leave To Remain application for your husband. You do not have to get married in the UK again as long as you can prove that you both are married in Nigeria.

However, your ILR application must be accompanied by an Article 8 (Human Rights) reference. Study Article 8 carefully. You must state why your husband wouldn't want to live in Nigeria anymore, and why he over-stayed. Your hubby must not have any criminal conviction.

Enough said. If you're still not clear, let me know. This is not an illegal means of becoming legal. It is legal.

BTW.. Wait for your Partnership result before applying for anything again.

I am here now! Start calling me names.. you know yourself. I am here to shed light and give candid advise on the way forward to becoming legal in the UK.

BTW@poster, stop sounding like a saint, you know you hate the gut of your sister and her husband! If not, you wouldn't be here exposing them. You're not innocent..stop sounding like one. Nigerian women in the UK would rather see you come visit them from time to time than you trying to stay there with them permanently.

Thousands of Nigerians are illegal in the UK and would rather be so than going back to Nigeria without anything. Almost 90% of caught/deported illegal immigrants were betrayed by those very close to them. UK Border Agency only carry out arrest based on information received from family members, friends or neighbors.

Now, if anyone wanna remain illegal and can face the harsh reality of being one, let them go ahead. In as much as they know what they're doing and can work towards achieving their aim without being pointed out, then I welcome them to the UK. Regardless of the new tight immigration laws, people are still receiving papers from the Home Office.

Only the wise survive.

What the heck!!! You live in Abuja and very close to GEJ, yet no job? Arise ye of little faith. Gird your loins and storm ASO ROCK! Give them my name, and the job is yours.

Seriously, you have to take the bold step. Stop applying for jobs. List companies you're interested to work for and storm the place. Don't look or talk like an applicant when you get there. Request for their manager or director or book an appointment to see them. Pitch your idea or offer when you finally get to see them.

You offer them your service and not the other way round. Tell them what you would contribute and bring to the company. Let them know what is exceptional about you. Research on the company and check out their financial stance. Give suggestions on how they'd get back to the black.

Wear the best after shave, be groomed, smart and be in control.

Try this and give me feedback.

This applies to everyone out there looking for a job.

If una allow Jesus be una friend, all the ashawo, ogogoro, lies, agbere, barawo, baba ijebu, looting and the rest of the sin wey una don do for una life go disappear, una life go come new like new pammy wey dey inside bottle.
(2 Corinthians 5:17)

(Reuters) - Suspected Islamist fighters went on the rampage in northeast Nigeria overnight, killing 10 Christians with guns and machetes and burning down their houses, witnesses said on Sunday.

The attack happened in a village called Chibok, in a remote part of northeastern Borno state, at the heart of an insurgency led by Islamist sect Boko Haram.

"Suspected Boko Haram came at night and set people's houses on fire before killing their victims," said Nuhu Clark, a former local councillor of the village who escaped the attack.

He said he counted ten bodies afterwards.

A police spokesman said they were aware of the incident but were still trying to confirm casualties.

Islamist fighters have killed hundreds of people since launching an uprising against the government in 2009, the usual targets being security forces, government officials or Christians, whom Boko Haram sees as infidels.

But the insecurity the conflict has created has also enabled criminal gangs who are nothing to do with the sect kill and rob.

In a separate incident, militants burned down three churches on Saturday in Gamboru, also in Borno state, said trader Umar Abubakar, who witnessed the attack.

Such attacks on Christians seem calculated to ignite sectarian tensions in Africa's most populous nation, which is split roughly evenly between Muslims and Christians. They mostly live side by side in peace, although bouts of violence between the communities sometimes flare up.

Boko Haram, which wants to carve out an Islamic state in northern Nigeria, has been blamed for more than 1,000 deaths since its insurgency intensified in 2010. The United States has designated three of Boko Haram's senior members as terrorists.

Its leader Abubakar Shekau praised jihadist movements across the globe on Thursday in a new video, and singled out the United States, Britain, Israel and Nigeria as enemies.

(Reporting by Ibrahim Mshelizza; Writing by Tim Cocks; Editing by Sophie

http://in.reuters.com/article/2012/12/02/nigeria-violence-christians-idINDEE8B107X20121202

@Joagbaje, I will not call you ignorant, but certainly, you ain't far from one. Calling those who for one reason or the decides to opt out of Church rebel is undeniably a fallacy and a total misconstrued on your part.

I'll tell you this, and to some who might feel offended by what I'm about to say I seek your indulgence; All (well, most) new generation Churches are erring from the teachings of Christ which put the needs of the needy first. The Church has gone astray, the M.O.Gs are becoming suspects every now and then. They are fast running out of scriptures to cover their manipulative, brainwash, fraudulent and embezzlement problems.

Students (those who critique) are beginning to see why the Church need an overhaul. Scholars are no longer talked-in into believing the bullocks of "touch not my anointed" deceit. The brainwashed are now receiving deliverance through the educational platform Nairaland is providing.

Sometimes, brethren are even the most difficult being to talk to. Christians in the Church are unhelpful, and Pastors are getting greedier. If you're not comfortable with what a Church is doing, better stay off and work out your salvation yourself. Jesus is the only one to look-up to.

I feel more blessed staying home on Sundays and talking to God, than going to a Church where you're prayed for but later asked to pay for the prayers you received.

Johnnyhoo: Good one for their fans

E.M.E?

kulyie: theyve carried their stock in trade to the uk again,nawa o am waiting for a nigerian that will rape obamas daughter,at least for nigerians anything is possible

You're so pathetic. Nigerians are not known for molestation or pedophilia. White men does it better! However, when you're talking about fraud, especially, e-fraud, don't look any further.

mekaboy: Most times i hear Christians testifying in church , how they were robbed and the armed robbers asked them to lay down on the floor and they lay down with their eyes closes. They robbed them, took everything but did not kill them.
Praise the lord.

And the pastor will say brother thank God for your life. I wonder what happened to the part of the Scriptures that said 'no weapon fashioned against you shall prosper'/ What about the story of Elijah when surrounded with soldiers asked God to open the eyes of his servant so that he will see that there are more angels with them than the soldiers surrounding.

Is it that Christians only quote those parts of the bible but don't really believe it?

No my brother, it is because the armed robbers themselves knows the bible more than the victims. Devil cannot bind itself. It is ignorant and unwise to start binding and sending holy ghost fire against a mere physical and mortal criminal. But it is wise to hit them with a base bat or gun them down.

When Jesus was cornered and about to be arrested, one of his disciples took a sword and cut off the ear of the accuser; one begin to wonder why the disciple didn't bind them or rain brimstone upon them. The answer is simple: it won't work! The accusers were mere men with no extra-terrestrial powers. "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood..." the bible says. Making a bad decision does not make you less of a man.

And for the twelve disciples, except ofcourse Peter who died a natural death because of Jesus's prophesy over him, the rest were arrested, tortured, skinned alive, some were put in furnace of fire, some skinned alive, one was hanged and one was put in a hot oil. All in all they all died a disastrous death. They were powerful men with supernatural gift, but that didn't save them. There time was come and binding and holy ghost fire couldn't save them.

How was your night is a traditional question asked between formal friends and family members, but asking a colleague that retardeen question is preposterous and out of order.

acidtalk: MOST DANGEROUS JOBS IN NIGERIA

* Tanker Driver
* Police Officer
* Telecommunication Mast Engineers
* Pilot and Air Hostess
* PHCN Field Engineers
* Fire Fighters
* Sky Scrapper Engineer / Workers
* Navy
* Construction Workers
* Sea Divers
* Bodyguard
* Army
* Sailors
* Container and Heavy Load Offloaders
* Heavy Truck Driver
* Oil Rig Engineers
* Highway Cleaners
* Interstate Drivers
* Election Officials


Feel free to add more on the list.

You see all the highlighted ones above abi, now tell me, how are these the most dangerous jobs in Nigeria?

-Have you ever heard of any Nigerian Navy getting killed whilst on duty?
-When last did you hear of a sinking ship that you put sailors in those categories?
-You even said Army.. Nigerian Army are always in their quarters, barracks, and most times on the streets harassing people. The ones that goes to Somalia comes back rich.
-Pilots & their w.h.o.r.e loves this job till death. The most fun-loving job there is. Of-course occasional death wouldn't scare anyone from becoming one.
-PHCN field officers derives pleasure in cutting power, whenever they get beaten, they come back fully loaded..you ain't having power for a long time.
-Construction workers are strong and experienced. However, no job is 100% safe without occasional mishap.
-Police of all people. how many police officer die everyday in Nigeria? Rather, you hear police killing people. Nigerian police rarely put their lives on the line unlike their US, UK counterpart.

What you've failed to mention are the street hawkers, the prostitutes, the manual river-sand extractors, logging workers, fisher men, Miners, Roofers, being the first lady of Nigeria and still be sane, being the President and not loot, being a Pastor and not think of buying a jet or building a 20 rooms apartment, and lastly, living in Nigeria.

If you'd said Most Dangerous Jobs in the World, then I'd agreed with your post!.

What about those that only comment on a particular section, you don't see them contributing anything to national matters. These are the hypocrites, ill-wishers, cynics and critics of Nigeria.. e.g travel section moderator.

icez: Saudi authorities on Wednesday chopped off the hand of a Nigerian man convicted of theft, in compliance with the Islamic sharia law strictly applied in the kingdom, the interior ministry said.

Mohammed Ahmed Ibrahim was convicted of theft and sentenced to having “his right hand amputated” the ministry said in a statement carried by SPA state news agency.

The punishment was executed in Mecca where the theft took place, it said.

The AFP news agency says the kingdom applies the Islamic sharia law, including executions by the sword for people convicted of rape, murder, apostasy, armed robbery and drug trafficking.

http://thenationonlineng.net/new/uncategorized/saudi-amputates-nigerians-hand-over-theft/

They amputated his hand because he was a fcking terrorist and not a Nigerian. His name says it all. I still believe all these mallams should have their hands chopped off so as not to cause any more mishap to our beloveth Nigeria.

Freiburger: so what does laughing and smiling do to the health?

When you scream, you get the frustration out of the way, and back you go to being normal again.

Unnecessary screaming and shouting is a way of reaching out to our grandparents. Older folks are hard of hearing and does need a lil bit of screaming in the ears before grasping your b.u.l.lshhit.

Medically, screaming is good for the health. Doesn't surprise me when the likes of Genevvieve, Mercy Johnson and her sisters( Yoruba actresses) scream the hell out the producers and camera men. We need more screaming so as to get our kids scared the more.

What a load of rubbish!!! Nigerians generally are loud and this is in our DNA. Take a look at the woman or man on the phone right now, you'd probably hear everything they're saying. What about on the bus, or in the cab? Take a look at our mothers, whenever they are on the phone, they scream and shout the hell out of the phone. It is biological and in the gene.

Sent from my new Nokia Lumia 920