₦airaland Forum

freecocoa:
In the eyes of the society[b](especially in this part of the world)[/b],you are said to be a successful man when you can successfully manage a home with a wife and children.

Wislet:
Not saying a guy cant be successful before he gets married. Depends on your definition of success. But that does not make him a MAN yet.

Wislet:
I said the society won't see you as someone responsible, mature or worthy to be trusted with certain duties until he has been able to prove he can manage others aside from himself successfully. That is only when they see you as a MAN in the real sense of the word.

Am glad you put that in brackets freecocoa.I don't oppose marriage.But you realise we live in different societies and each has their own def.
In some societies,a man is one who owns immense wealth,especially in pastoral communities. Among the masai, a man is one who is circumcised because they believe that rite of passage is critical. They will still refer to you as a boy even if you have a stable home with kids and you are denied the privilege of sitting down with elders and making decisions.
In other societies its the number of kids/wives one posesses that make him a man. Even if they walk in tattered clothes.His manhood is measured by his ability to sire kids. In other developed societies,the businesses he owns or the level of his education define him.

Now you can see why its wrong to say that a man is one who is married bcz they believe  'marriage is not a bed of roses'.
It only applies to the society you live in.
Picture this.What if one chooses not to marry for reasons best known to him? Hes not avoiding responsibilities he just doesnt want to marry and you know there's no sin in that. Paul was a very effective bachelor.

If I was asked,a man is one who lives a life of purpose.That means exploiting his full potential on earth and impacting the society in a very positive way.

Marital status never makes or define anybody.That is only limited and applicable in the society we live in.The moment you step out of that society everything changes and the next society defines you according to their own standard.

Question therefore is,what defines you? society or yourself and God.

I don't like rules/keys and steps to achieve this and that. In my life I have learnt that they don't work unless you got the right mindset plus determination to make it work regardless. A human heart is the most deceitful of all things and desperately wicked.
Keys and padlocks will never achieve their purpose if the mind resists.A willing and open mind first b4 change is seen.

sexkillz:
[color=#000055][size=14pt]Chei!!!! I don pour coffee for keyboard. . .[/size][/color]

dont mess ur gadgets plz.
Who is a smart woman? is it intelligence, cute, beautiful,rich, independent woman?
"The one who lays a foundation with stones thrown at her is smart. She could be anything.

mmh what is the question?

because women are nouns and must be described in order to be understood.

^^ lol.I have learnt to create a distance btwn the laptop and myself when am drinking and reading stuff on nl.
I discovered its very easy to die just reading stuff here.
Very crazy comments sometimes.

Somalia split over hunt for Al Shabaab

American and European officials on Tuesday joined some Somali residents in expressing dismay over comments from Somalia’s president that called on foreign military allies to stop twin advances against Islamic insurgents.

The remarks called into question President Sheik Sharif Sheik Ahmed’s commitment to fighting his former allies — Islamist militants.

A US official said there was concern and dismay over Ahmed’s comments. The official spoke on condition of anonymity because he is not authorised to speak to the press.

The US and the EU are the two biggest financial contributors to the AU mission. Neither is directly financially supporting the Kenyan operation, although Kenya receives military aid from both powers.
On Wednesday, Ahlusunna Waljama (AWSJ), another group sympathetic to Kenya released a press statement condemning President Ahmed and the "extremist ideologies of Al Shabaab and affiliate Wahabi groups".

The group said its militia had fought to free central Somalia from Al Shabaab "atrocities" for over three years.

The group said President Ahmed had exposed his sympathy for Al Shabaab on several occasions when he failed to condemn the Al Qaeda linked militant’s atrocities.

"The efforts and strides made by Kenya Defence Forces are well in accordance with what we the people of Somalia want. The comment and utterances by Al Shabaab and its sympathisers should not deter them from their ultimate goal of bringing peace in the region," said AWSJ.

AWSJ said Kenya was forced to intervene in Somalia because Al Shabaab threatened its sovereignty and stability.

In Dhobley, the residents said most Somalis want Al Shabaab’s hold on their country destroyed.

"We thank Kenyan Government for it’s working together with Somali Transitional Federal Government to stabilise Somalia and for training Somali soldiers as well as hosting Somali refugees," said the Ministry of Information statement forwarded to newsrooms on Wednesday.

"In fact, the people of Somalia as well as many of friends in the region, including Uganda, Burundi, Kenya, Ethiopia have suffered at the hands of Al Shabaab from their violence. We all share the need to defeat and destroy Al Shabaab. No one wants to see demise of Al Shabaab more than the people of Somalia," it noted.

The face of a happy elshabaab terrorist.  
https://www.standardmedia.co.ke/images/friday/nhcap281011_10.jpg

The self-confessed member of terror group Al Shabaab, Elgiva Bwire alias Mohamed Seif has been jailed for life.

Nairobi Principal Magistrate, Grace Macharia handed down the sentence to Oliacha after he admitted causing grievous harm

He pleaded guilty to six charges of being in possession of firearms, hand grenades and ammunition, was sentenced to another seven years. However, he will serve life imprisonment.

Soon after the magistrate left, the Al Shabaab member, who broke in laughter and broad smiles after being sentenced, said he was happy and had no regrets.

When asked why he was happy, he responded that he was just happy. He added by saying he was actually happier.

I think a mental institution would have been a better place for him

http://www.standardmedia.co.ke/

^^ lol I know what the bolded means.A bit of an exaggeration I guess but my understanding is they are properly trained/equipped for war.
That doesn't make them the best in the world.

[quote author=Jenifa_ link=topic=788060.msg9426578#msg9426578 date=1319685255]help us find info on Ijeoma Ezebgulam. the banker/marketer/husband-snatcher at Zenith.
=N= 500,000 reward.[/quote]

arsenefc:
I am Ijeoma Ezegbulam and I aint leaving your husband.

damn you two made me choke on my toast!!
oh Boy laughter will kill me.

Wislet:
[b]My dear, having the courage to take up that responsibility alone qualifies a man. [/b]Not all males walking around have reached that maturity or have the courage to take the step. Whether he fails or not is another matter. Cos the Bible says, 'A MAN who cannot feed his family is worse than an infidel'. It only makes him a far lesser man than he should be.

That I love and it's all part of living a purposeful life. Marriage is a rite of passage and meant for the mature in body, soul and mind.
However,If one is single,young and not wasting his life,he still a young man on his way to taking on responsibilities.
The one playing around filling the earth with babies and denying responsibilities is still the boy. Not yet matured.Not a man.
cheers.

slimyem add low self esteem to that. But if she feels that way and you love her then just boost her up.
Some girls have grown up hearing negatives all their lives from friends,family,relatives etc. A positive encouraging word is like medicine.

Wislet:
I have said mine. U can ask your elders. Being a man comes with responsibilities- not just yourself.

You are correct, but you know some men fail at those responsibilities. And some even do worse like murder their own. Can we still call them real men because they carry the 'married status symbol' ?. I think the man who fails in his marital duties is no better than the responsible bachelor.

Wislet:
Hmmmmm. The measure of a MAN is his ability to successfully manage a 'home'- marriage. A single guy is not a man yet. So the saying is for married folks! For MEN. There's a special blessing attached to getting married, call it God's own gift or treat. If u're fortunate to marry a 'good' woman, measure & compare your success from the point she came in.

Wislet I hold a different opinion. I think the measure of a man is his ability to live a purposeful life which may or may not include a marriage. Wont go into details there.
Then I think its wrong to say a single guy is not a man yet.What makes a Man? Marriage? No dear.Some bachelors are living a life full of purpose and impacting others positively than some married fellows.
I like saying that marriage does not come to complete you.You are complete as a single because even God never made an incomplete fellow.
He only gave him a helpmate. Paul in the bible never married cz he was too busy serving. He was a man and loved of God.

Now 2 can put 2000 to flight. 2 minds are better than one and etc etc. those are some of the advantages of marriage.
If there are special blessings they will come becz you are living in obedience.

@op. Success is determined by you. If you are dumb,a pessimist,a lazy fellow,a liar,then no intelligent woman can help you become succesfull.
The reverse is true.
This phrase applies where the man is smart and the wife just comes to offer him support.

av read over and over all in an effort to understand. still confused a bit. Lets leave the girl's mother out of this 4 now.
You had a gal,she forsook you for her ex who was in a relationship. When the ex married she came back to you? thts how i interpreted it.
Now there's a child in the mix? Have you confirmed the child is yours? DNA can prove that dont be too ignorant.
But hey if you dont love a girl dont marry her just coz she has ur kid! you will live to regret the mistake forever.

now what is Tongolo and Dikoko?
Ok just skip very old thread.

That is a stain which will erode the love if her attitude doesn't change.
But tell me this for 3 yrs she has tolerated the guy, so what changed? When he first started talking to her did she not notice the broken english or was she 'blindly in love?'
3 yrs is no joke but here's is another question.How old is the dude? A grown up I guess.That means he has been communicating to people in various places even before he met the girl. People dont succeed in life because they speak good english. He must  be good in other areas so she needs to focus on that more.
A guy that is good in all aspects and lacking in refined foreign language is worth keeping. classes/reading can help

Dont make a mistake of asking the dude to take english classes straight to his face. That's disturbing. Use wise ways to encourage him and stop all that caging in public. its a shame.

Logistics.
Yep am kenyan from kenya. K I am leaving office now.will continue with this later.

Ok thing is this,during the Moi era corruption was soo rampant and the war in somali was at its peak.Most somali illegal immigrants came in first to camps and then those who had money bribed their way into the city.
They settled at a place called Eastleigh.Now one thing with worias or somalis,the moment you allow one into ur house they multiply like crazy. So it only took a few rich somalis to buy houses and before long they moved into nbo in droves.
When the pirate activities started,they used their relatives to buy property in nbo's eastleigh and houses.They would offer twice or thrice the amount you are selling at.Very tempting indeed.That is how they bought churches,land and built madrassa and mega businesses.
If you go to eastleigh you will be shocked.Its a small city with names like DXB shopping malls etc. Its a suburb not in the city center.
You do not need to buy stuff from dxb if ur in kenya.Its all in eastleigh.You need a gun you get it in eastleigh lol.
Anyway that is why the goverment is carrying out these operations because they are biting the arm that fed them.

But the good ones are nice.We have lived with them and its only a few rotten potatoes spoiling for them.

They have been around for while.Remember the twin bombings of the US embassies in TZ and Kenya in 1999?
They later tried to shoot down an Israel plane in Nbo.They however bombed a coastal resort in Mombasa Kenya (loved by the Israelites) at around the same time when they were being tracked. As if that was not enough,they killed Ugandans while they were watching football in a famous club.Okay they have been carrying out silly bombings here and there can't put them all down.
They are the reason Somalia is not developing. That is why Kenya is carrying out 'operation linda nchi' to flush them out and let somalis go back to their country.
They are a bunch who use fear to terrorise people. Soon they will be history as somalis reclaim back their country from them.
The somali transitional force needs lost of support to achieve this.

This is not a France war.Its Kenya who took the battle to somalia and teamed up with the Somalia Transitional forces plus AU forces.
The US army based in Djibouti(their HQ) has been providing logistical support to help flush them out.
The somalia waters are patrolled by the French Navy ships.This is where they come in because they are trying to block all routes the elshababs use.Elshabab are an arm of alqaeda. That is not a secret or mystery. And do not even think its composed of somalis only.
Those guys are soo ruthless.
Kenya the other day arrested 2 britons belonging to the group. 100 alqaeda members are from US.The rest from Aghanistan,Kenya etc.
The US ,France are not on the forefront of this battle! Infact they said Kenya caught them unawares. And Kenya said they do not need the foreign forces to defend their territory. Provocation came from somalia and Kenya has tolerated their nonsense for long.It was time to act because almost one third of somalia pop lives in Kenya.The poor in Dadaab camp while the rich own estates and property in NBO eastleigh( mini somalia).

"There was an enormous explosion and a huge fire. More than 100 people were killed and 50 others wounded" in Monday night's blast, National Transitional Council commander Leith Mohammed said.

He said the scene was "a heart wrenching spectacle with dozens of charred bodies."

The accidental explosion happened as a crowd of people waited near the fuel tank to fill up their cars.

"We are still unable to put out the fire," said Mohammed, adding that it had been caused by a spark from a nearby electricity generator.

Some of the victims had returned to the town, the last bastion of resistance by Gaddafi loyalists, which fell on Thursday, to inspect the damage to their properties, the NTC commander added.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFsSQzUs_2I

A soldier remarks 'There was nothing like this in the time of Ghaddafi.True we were poor but we were safe.Now no one is safe not even in their homes.

Another says 'I am against gaddafi but I,ll tell u the truth that what the rebels did in couple of months was much more than what gaddafi did in 42 years.

So now residents die while queing to fill up buckets with oil from storage tanks destroyed by Nato bombs? Risky situation.

https://www.nation.co.ke/image/view/-/1260974/highRes/304589/-/maxw/600/-/4pbuvm/-/PIX.jpg
Kenya military troops head for Liboi, near the border with Somalia, last week.

1.Is our military up to this task or have they been “fattening” in the barracks?

2.Where does Kenya’s ethnic Somali community fit into the equation?


A country is like a three-legged stool. The three crucial legs are the military, the economy and the body politic in its entirety (sovereignty, geographical, strategic importance).

Without any of three ‘legs’ a country cannot stand. The military is usually referred to as a ‘state within a state’.

Kenyan military training is heavily based on the British and American systems and is therefore world class.
Very few countries in Africa have achieved these standards, especially being 100 per cent manoeuvre compliant (modern warfare ready).

The troops are therefore expected to put the training into practice and adapt swiftly to any situation.
People see the several potbellied soldiers, who almost entirely are non-combatants, and assume all soldiers are like that.
They should know that the fighting units, commonly referred to as the ‘Teeth Arms’, are physically very fit.

And a delicate element of ‘Operation Linda Nchi’ is the fact that Kenya has its own Somali community that shares many things in common with their cousins across the border.
The Kenyan Somali community will be pivotal to winning this campaign against Al-Shabaab.

While it has a few bad eggs that help sustain the groups network and finances in Kenya, many of them are patriotic, sensitised and incorporated in this fight.
This operation has nothing to do with the Kenyan Somali community or Islam as a Religion; it is a war against a terror.
After all, the community will be the greatest beneficiary of a pacified Somalia Republic.

This is what I think.
1. You are being too nice to her.Like somebody said give her a challenge. I dislike men who say yes to everything a woman requests for esp if its inappropriate. A No is also an answer.
2. She's comparing you to a previous relationship or presently.
3. This is hard.But as a lady I know ladies have a way of talking indirectly.So as not to hurt you she will blame the routine when you are actually the bore.
This happens if the love has grown cold and if that is the case then you both entered into it for the wrong reasons.

> Be a real man not Mr.nice or Mr.yes yes.
> Up your game so that she has nobody to compare your game with. This is tricky.
> If she's 'bored with you my bro,no amount of gifts can restore that. Could be something in ur personality she detests and that is difficult to work out.

Good luk though.

That meat warehouse
will it be used to store meat again?

LOL Roki!! dont crack my ribs here.
If he doesnt show in ur dream please record his sweet nothings and keep listening over and over before you sleep.Let it replace the blues or whatever music or movies.Lol what am I now.
If that dont work,get him over!

lol then u got people running behind you daily ok not like that maybe they all want a piece of you.
Ok let his pic be the last thing you see b4 u sleep. make it ur pillow

Dreams come through the multitude of business. They are as a result of our day to day activities. In short we are mostly likely to dream what we have been doing the whole day. Ok tht's bible.
So keep thinking and talking to him the whole day then see what happens.
I wonder what programmers dream.

Somali President criticised for anti-Kenya comments

Somali President Sheikh Sharif Ahmed came under fire on Tuesday for casting doubt on his government's support for a Kenyan incursion into the south of the Horn of Africa nation to take on Islamist rebels.

Ahmed said on Monday the Somali government was not happy with the deployment of Kenyan soldiers across the border because the incursion went beyond an initial agreement for logistical support for Somali soldiers.

In the Somali town of Dhobley near the border with Kenya, hundreds of demonstrators took to the streets on Tuesday waving Kenyan and Somali flags and burning pictures of the president.

"We want Kenya and Somalia to fight al Shabaab in every corner. We do not have any other hope for life," Gedi Farah, an elder from the Dhobley area, told Reuters by phone.



"Kenya, do not believe the words of our weak, mad president. Please fight al Shabaab and go deep into Somalia. We want to return to our homes," he said.

Somali military officials and a spokesman for the pro-government Ras Kamboni militia urged the demonstrators to calm down, saying the president's remarks were not in line with the Somali government's position.

"The Somali government does not support al Shabaab. It is only the president and that will be solved," said Colonel Yasin Warfa, a government military official.

Since being elected as president in 2009 under a UN-hosted peace process, Ahmed has failed to stamp any authority on a country that has lacked effective central government control for two decades.

A moderate Sufi militia in Somalia, Ahlu Sunna, that has supported the government's fight against al Shabaab, also weighed in against President Ahmed's comments.The group's stated goal is to impose its own harsh version of sharia law throughout the country. Al Shabaab metes out punishments such as stonings and amputations and bans music, movies and soccer in areas it controls.

"Sherif, if you cannot, or do not want to oust al Shabaab, let Kenya do it for the sake of the suffering Somalis," spokesman Sheikh Abdullahi Sheikh Abu Yusuf told Reuters.

Mr.President sober up please.

I really feel sorry and would like to comfort you with some words.
This is just a dead marriage because you never loved her at all.If there was love at the beginning I would have asked you to try ways of reviving it
Find out what went cold & make it warm.But this has been cold from day 1 so, _{mh is polygamy an option?}
cant believe I said that but for this your case its better than divorce since your wife still loves you and from the look of things you are fed up and on the way out.
Wow this is tough. What to do?

swallu:
I am very unhappy in my marriage right now because i dont have any fond felling to the woman i am married to.She was recommended to me as a wife by my parents after they told me to breakup and do away with my ex on the ground that she"s frm a different tribe and too modern for their taste.My wife is obedient but then i dont have any felling for her.I have tried all my best to be attracted to her but the felling is just not there.Everyday i close from work i go home with an empty feeling in my stomach wondering if this is what marriage is all about.My marriage is just too dull and worse of it all my wife is steadily getting fatter and fatter by the day.Of recent my ex called on me to know how marriage life is with me and all the fond feelings i had for her flooded back to me.Right now i am thinking of running away from my wife and kid because my marriage is killing me with boredom.I wish i hadnt gotten into this marriage.I wish i never listened to my parents and got married to my ex.This is my price for being the obedient son i guess.

sorry bro but the bolded got my ribs cracking.

I wish I had something to tell you but am dumbfounded. Sorry for the situation though.

fickle,dickle and pickles.