₦airaland Forum

Meliian:
Why the heck was she insulting the guy? That's so unfair. Because he doesn't have money, he's not human too? He doesn't have feelings? The guy got her pregnant, despite being broke he still tries to cater for his child. Isn't that good enough? They're still together after 5 years, doesn't that count for something? Some relationships don't even last up to 6 months. My point is, both op and her sister are mean people. And if her bf's influence on her is bad, so is her elder sister's fiance's influence on her sister. I say this because, the fiance can't say he didn't know his wife-to-be arranged for her sister to be locked up.

She is insulting him because he should have known better than chasing and getting her 15 yr old sis not even 18 yr old pregnant and then sharing responsibilities with her for years while he continues to have sex with her all these years without anything like a business or even personal abode. What if she if gets pregnant again without knowing untill it is too late?? Pls how will all these and more be going through her mind and she will be smiling anytime she sees him around her?

She might be a mean person but he visited knowing he was not welcomed, insults started, OP slapped and she called police. Pls my point is she was provoked.

Ifyjos:
I slapped her for disrespecting my guy in front of our innocent child , I didn’t like the way she wa raining insult at him calling him all bad names under the sun just because he is poor.

Your parents travelled and he took the opportunity to come to your house, you sis has been insulting him steady long before now, pls what was he expecting?? If your parents were at home, would they have welcomed him with open arms? He knew he was not welcomed in that house but went ahead to visit..if this is not looking for trouble then tell me what it is.

Like I said, she may be faulted but you and even him started it.

1. Whenever your hair is not made, always put it in big plaits of 2 or 4 or big cornrows just don't leave your hair like that for instance after combing except you intend to wear it that way when leaving the house.
2. If you know you will keep loosing the big plaits or cornrows cos you want to make an afro or style your natural hair to go out, pls just get your hair done.
3. If you are adult get yourself about 3 wigs to start with. Try braided wigs too (preferably done with frontal) if you feel odd in them human hair.

Meliian:
Am I the only one that sees the wrong her elder sister did her by locking her up in the cell? How come nobody is talking about this?

Her elder sis saw the guy in their family house and started abusing the guy not her o and then OP slapped her elder sis because of what?? Elder sis at this point had sense not to retaliate cos OP and her bf could have beaten and even killed her there with the unjust slapping action she has displayed and hate in their hearts at this point.

No parent was at home and even if her elder sis did may be faulted, what OP did was just plain stupid and evil. She started it all and when she got served on another level she has mind to be claiming oppressed victim.

Ifyjos:
Please if I get rid of him and are you going to take care of my child needs?

How your sister behaved after you got pregnant is how some if not most parents would have behaved if not worse. So would you have collided with your "good man" to harm your parents if they treated you like that?

From your original post, you were not remorseful and from your responses, you are still not remorseful and even with the advices scattered here on things to learn, you don't think you can achieve anything on your own. God will help your sis pull through it is your daughter I pity.

People afraid to give birth to girls and the ones with girls already should strive to teach their girls leadership values, how they should take up space in their environment and cement themselves in the society. (Zozobini Tunzi, Miss Universe 2019). That way even if they make a mistake you won't see them behaving like the OP who is just 20 but is patiently waiting for her baby daddy to make it before she can have a comfortable life. That would be totally inconceivable to them in such a scenario.

Mightyhaiz:
Children when we suppose sorry for and ask ourselves how we went wrong in our acts that made them turn sex slaves... U now want to capitalise and chop from their pathetic struggle. Smh

You made me remember the response of Zozibini Tunzi Miss Universe 2019. When asked “what is the most important thing we should teach young girls today?” she replied "I think the most important thing we should be teaching young girls today is Leadership. It’s something that has been lacking in young girls and women for a very long time, not because we don’t want to but because of what society has labelled women to be. I think we are the most powerful beings in the world and that we should be given every opportunity and that is what we should be teaching these young girls, to take up space, nothing is as important as taking up space in society and cementing yourself, thank you." This response she gave was the reason she won.

OP, I did not read anything about the tax revenue from prostitution is what is holding Nigeria back from the country she is supposed to be and how it will certainly transform Nigeria once it is implemented. You know the truth but decided to drum up this pathetic article.

Shout out to the ones calling the police on prostitutes. If you channeled that energy to getting a lawyer to write charges against elected officials for underperforming by commisioning boreholes and toilets, we would have started seeing the change that was promised. But mbanu, you decided to help the police to free access to prostitutes.

itsme01:
Aunty Dubai is tax free... so please comapare New York cab rate to that of Dubai, Compare New york Apartment with Price of Dubai, Compare Newyork Subway to Dubai Metro.... and please for God sake compare food and shopping


convert your answer to naira and tell us the truth

Uncle, my point in my post is, Nigerians should also tell how expensive a ticket to the Burj Khalifa or Safari Tours are and how the sun there is something else. If for instance I want to go, I will want to experience such things not to shop cos from the wares I have seen bought in Dubai and the pics taken or videos made in some shops in Dubai, for the most part, Dubai does me like Balogun market and Aba market put together. So the tax free haven that it is, is of no use to me.

Pls note I am not down grading them, I just think as long as shopping goes, what I want and what I can afford in Dubai, is available here and at a lower price.

One thing is clear... in the past the US sold herself as the "it country" and majority of the world's population bought it hook, line and sinker. Even their accent is what most English learners and speakers all over the world try to imitate (that forming of American accent does not only affect Nigerians).
I don't blame the USA tho cos everything na packaging, it is left for one to look well.

Some years after the advent of the internet, more travels by others, plus increase in gun violence and Trump have made a lot of people to see the light.

Anyway, a lot of the washing had to do with the lies and withheld truths people told when they got back for hols. Now the same thing is happening with Dubai. It is fine yes and a nice tourist destination but they should also tell the truth of how freaking expensive it is to actually enjoy the most of the various attractions and the roasting effect of the sun.

theButterfly:
Hmmm, so he had also cheated but couldn't forgive her like she did him? Talk about a vindictive hypocrite.

The guy is indeed vindictive hypocrite.
Why is his own cheating at the early time of their relationship different and forgiveable, yet from what I read on nairaland, when guys realise thier gf cheated after 2 or 4 months they can't forgive. Even Joseph wanted to call off the wedding quietly after finding out Mary was pregnant. Consider that he thought Mary was a virgin and such pregnancy was a taboo.

There is simply no justification for not calling off the wedding quietly if he could not forgive. She definitely dogged a bullet but should have exposed him too since there was nothing more to lose.

Such hypocrisy among does not suprise me. It was Judah that slept with his daughter in law Tamar thinking she was a prostitute and then wanted a public query after finding out she was pregnant but then he backed out when he realised he was the father. He backed out because of the shame it would bring him and his family and not because of the shame Tamar would face. Remember that he had already wasted her time and youth by telling her to wait in her father's house for one of his sons to grow up and get her pregnant but he did not fufill his promise after the boy grew up. Tamar read the whole situation and decided to do the scamming instead of getting scammed.

To those saying "hoes defending hoes", if you are a christain, just remember that Jesus defended Mary Magdalene and it did not make him less of what he is and was.

Yustash001:
People should start using their senses o jare....

How many of this type of stories have been reported this year alone....yet people fail to learn

The problem is that many are not on Nairaland or don't use the internet and many don't read newspapers. A good way to make the people aware is by conducting reach outs and sharing flyers which have examples of already arrested pastors, revs and alfas too. I mean just passing info the same way these pastors have advertised themselves by using flyers and having reach outs.

In a short time, people will realise that as long as it has to do with religion, their actions, faith, studying the teachings themselves, listening to sound teachings in the church or any house of the religion, their prayers and the grace of God are enough.

1. Most stylists don't know how to care for our hair type.
2. In turn a lot the styles damages the edges over time.
3. We should learn how to take care of our hair ourselves.
4. If you must go to a salon, don't let them plait your dry hair. Spray water and some moisturizer on it to make it less painful.
5. Because of bad hair care and coily nature of the 4c hair, getting the 4c hair into buns is not easy or it has not even reached and so must be plaited (corn rows) to avoid bigger problems.
6. We should learn to accept our hair. Its true nature most times is that kinky old look. Changing hair every 2 weeks because "it is not neat" should be discouraged. 4c type hair is not for such frequent pulling and tugging. That said mothers should let school authorities know that their kids can't go through pain cos of weekly hairstyle and so the child can just do 2 or 4 cornrows.
7. After accepting our hair, we should stop applying relaxers (active ingredient: sodium hydroxide). Googling about side effects of relaxers will help you understand better.
8. OP, I get your point but pls those pics you put up there are not realistic without relaxers that even has damaging effects on humans.

I forgot to add the bun style does not pass one day in most cases like most have said. Also, even buns are not recommended for any hair type because it is just about combing, pulling and tugging. Which will weaken the hair and lead to hair loss in the front and back.

It is a pity he thinks this way. The cheap labour and atrocities behind luxury (and normal) brands are all over YouTube. Hustling to buy those brands at outrageous prices to be an unpaid walking model and then brag to this extent? The joke is on him.

SURElee:
If you had a sister who has been married and waiting to conceive for years and a woman with kids throws jabs at her to go born kids, I'm very sure you or your sister wouldn't see it as a something wey the other woman no carry for mind.

You see eh! Marriage, kids and money in fact all blessings are controlled by God not man. In God's time, it happens to all who desire it.

That her comment was uncalled for.

See ehn, you spoke my mind.

LilMissFavvy:
My dear, I even see ladies telling her to tell her husband to open a business for her. If he opens a business, and the business is in his name, then it is as good as she is jobless. OP, if your husband must open a business for you, let it be in your name, since he does not want you to go find a job. Increase your financial demands, and make sure you keep a personal account. He roped you into marriage at a tender age, and still wants to rope your ambition. Let him open a business for you, if he refuse to register the business in your name, that's a red flag, do secret savings, be wise.

Dear, I also suggested business but never thought that a woman's business could be opened in her husband's name. That is new to me. The scam of buying a car or property in husband's name is one I know.

LilMissFavvy:
Any lady who comes to this section seeking marital advice from the men here is joking, because most Nigerian men are very partial and full of ego, they will always give bad advice that benefits the malefolk. It's amazing that all of them got blind, and did not see where the OP mentioned that they had an agreement that she WILL START WORKING when the child is enrolled in day-care. Why has the husband suddenly broken his promise? To the OP, if your marriage is worth more than your destiny and life ambition, then allow your husband to manipulate and stop you. Your parents are not the one that will fight for you, only you can fight for yourself.

Many of these men keep calling women who know their rights ''bitter'', even when they do not know the personal lives of the ladies here, they keep assuming, very stupidd set of folks. They are quick to put fear in the OP that she may lose her husband, like a 24yr old would not be able to remarry as well. I cannot understand why a husband should stop his wife from training/correcting a kid. He suddenly wears an attitude and does not pamper you, he might be cheating on you, be careful, so that you do not end up as a full time dependent house wife with a cheating husband.

From her replies, the fear has entered her. It is not her fault, she is still young in life and marriage.

doitforyou:
Maybe the man should have defined his terms and married a woman with traditional values. There are lots of Nigerian women that would readily become a housewife if they’re presented that choice. Why did he marry a woman that decided she will only be a housewife for two years?

That’s always the problem, some men don’t marry women that fit their values but after marriage want to force/subjugate/mold another breathing human being with emotions and aspirations into their idea of a model wife.

Also, believe it or not there are feminists that are happily married to men that want their wives to be a partner. You’ll see those men happily show off the achievements of their wives. This world is huge and many men and women have different definitions of an ideal spouse.

After about 20 yrs, those ones that didn't allow their wives to work will use those achievements their friends told them about their wives to taunt their own wives..asking her what has she achieved.

OP, some have said it already, your parents failed you. His reasons are enough for you to be adamant and make sure you find work or start a business.

Many have mentioned how you should be dependent on him if promises a salary or joint account. I say don't fall into that trap not only because he might use it as a means to subdue and control you but because life is too uncertain to depended on anyone. As long as being the sole bread winner does not make him immune to death, sack letter or incapability of any form, fend for yourself even if the profit is meagre. Also, as your child grows to pre teens and in teenage years, nurture any talent they have or you help them find what they like doing and develop it. Try as much as you can for them to enter Uni not just with brain but with a skill.

OP don't bother yourself with other people's life cos we all have a different race. Rahab the temple prostitute helped the Isreali spies in Jericho and later married on of them to become an ancestor of Jesus. The "sin" or "sickness" of prostitution or fornication did not prevent her from such grace. Focus your energy on calling out the people responsible for this mess of country called Nigeria (if you have mind) but if not, please face front.

Everyone knows rich northerners strive to educate their kids abroad or at least uni level in Nigeria before they get married at about 22 and above. We are talking of the poor ones that feel it is best to keep their kids esp girls uneducated and married as from 13 and above!

I just wonder at what is so hard about eating the money you are being priviledged to eat and face front instead of setting up avenues to air silly complaints.

Despite the modifications, it looked weird in each generation

I just wowing upandan. The girl in red, the other girl on low cut in the water and the boy with glasses wearing a blue track suit were my favs..all the pics are beautiful!

Be it a curse or not, she derives joy from dressing up in those lace or fine fabric gowns.

1st and 3rd pics looks like some modern occultic/ku klax klan out fit for their main gathering. It suits Mike the most tho.

What is all these na...this is cannibalism. He should be arrested.

Destined2win:
She has a very valid point.

Freeze was the first one to make a very valid point (100x more valid than hers). She is partly Ghanian and so should have led the protest she proposed. There was no need for her to have written that epistle as if what he said was out of place. By the way, Nigerians have suffered something similar but not of the same magnitude recently in Ghana. As someone that enjoys the celeb status in Nigeria and even nigerian endorsements, what has done or even twitted about the mistreatment of Nigerians in Ghana?

Actually, something is off in almost all the pics.

The whole RUGA thing spells doom. Everyone knows it but a lot people still undermine it, if not by now all southern and middle belt states should have started their own organized cattle rearing that will sustain their state. No need to patronise them and those proposing RUGA will kill the idea themselves.

NOC1:
but this is a common design in Nigeria, as a guy i have seen it on so many people.

I thought so too. But there are a few changes she made. Flare on both sides have double layers while the front and back have just one layer.

This design has been around for a long time.

Modified

Saw some changes in the design. Ngwa Toyin apologise and compensate her.

There is nothing end time about these rape cases cos it has always been so. It is common knowledge that a good no of popes and bishops of the middle ages had mistresses or slept with little boys. The pastors sleeping with women in their churches scandals are plenty in the USA. Lots of these churches were even cult like and for some of the victims, their parents were in it too!

The main message here is simply set boundaries as a teenager or an adult and as a parent be very vigilant when it comes to your kids and teach them to confide in you whenever anything happens. Fast and pray for yourself. David still prayed for his self even after commiting grave sins. Hezekiah prayed on his own and God extended his life. Esther fasted and prayed for 3 days and nights and she did the unthinkable without getting killed or even dethroned.

Many more examples like these shows you don't need anyone to pray for you before your case can be solved.

Realanonymous:
Battling with health issue

I have Scoliosis

What's scoliosis?


A condition in which there is abnormal lateral curvature of the spine.

Sometimes people ask me why am i working tilted to one side, but they don't know its a condition i have to battle and it causes so much pain.

Sometimes i will just black out or feel dizzy, the pains is really excruciating...

Hello, pls do not think you are the only one having this issue. There are so many exercises to help ease the pain and to even help straighten the back. Just make an hour research on the net also on YouTube. Above all have faith and patience to follow these exercises for at least 2 years and give yourself at least 6 months to 1 year to see results.

Please stay positive..I used to think everyone was perfect but believe me when I say no one is. The thing is mostly seemingly perfect people have been projected and propagated by the media. Seemingly perfect cos Naomi Campbell and Victoria Beckham have serious cases of bunions but that part of them is not seen in magzines but a few pics are available on the net, Jay Z has knocked knees and thin legs but he maintains his baggy jeans till date and even if there are perfect people it is one in 100 perhaps 1000. Everyother person has a way of hiding or correcting that one thing that disturbs them.

Lastly, when anyone asks you why walk tilted, positively say " it is scoliosis, google it" and move on.