₦airaland Forum

carefreewannabe: I think she should be free to remarry but she should not be allowed to relocate for trivial and selfish reasons like the one she gave.

well... that reason may seem trivial to you but it may be very important to her
Maybe the mother is aging.,. maybe they like playing bingo .. who knows


Let him get a lawyer ..

I did read it.. thats why i waited for the heat to cool down as i was concerned it will go into religious arena

I agree with you that orientation and education is critical however my concern is the disservice being done by these people to themselves

A man who marries his daughter off loses the opportunity for her to be productive
Her earning capacity is gravely diminished in additionto the bodily damages from VVF

Generational Poverty is assured

IN other areas, others ensure their kids have the best education to break out of poverty

I am speaking now from the individual POV as govt has failed the people

PassingShot: If you take time to read my posts on this particular topic you'll know that I don't support it.

However I'm exposed enough to know that it exists in our society as a result of culture and our government failure to campaign against it and provide proper orientation, education for the rural dwellers plus means of integrating the not-so-previledged citizens of our society.

When we fail to tackle this problem from the root, we cry when stories that touch occur.

carefreewannabe: She is free to remarry and free to relocate. Should it be changed?

I think so.. what do u think

BadBoy25: do I look like I give 2 fvcks about your thoughts ? I'm not trying to please anyone.

Sweetlemon: Racism exists today. Yes. But not in the cold way you guys make it look like.
What am I trying to preach here? We are no longer in the era where your talents or CV will be rejected just because of your colour.
Work hard, be where you should be at the right time, move with the right people and don't break laws. Then watch yourself attain any heights you so desire.

Not in which way?

You are not aware of the picture

Let me take one dimension

Public schools are funded by taxes which is linked to the status of the area
Blacks are a victim of poverty inducing policies.. when they even want to leave to a better area, people like Sterling deny the hardworking blacks accomodation. The resultant spiral into crime leads to more govt abandonment and depression in real estate prices
Taxes drop.. schools are defunded.. students do poorly in the standardized tests... more poverty

Are you seeing the picture now...

You cannot divorce the effects of 300 years of slavery in 50 years

Open your eyes

carefreewannabe: They have joint custody. What, in your view, is there to be reviewed?

Wat does the arrangement say if the mother remarries
What does it say if she relocates

carefreewannabe: To do what?

To review the custody arrangement

BadBoy25: [s]I have no sympathy for black people . black people sold black people into slavery . black cops in Detroit,LA,New Orleans etc. commit untold evil to other blacks by threatening them ,framing them,conspiracy,abuse of power such as sleeping with the criminal's wives. . black mayors and governors run down their cities and get sent to jail after their tenure.
african leaders loot the treasury instead of building an organized society. [/s]
I am black [s]and do not have any sympathy for black people . shoot to kill all protesters (Wild animals) !who gives a fvck what anyone thinks?![/s]

From your posting history, I doubt you are black
At best you are a mullatto or mixed race

Sweetlemon: I have said I don't want to go into the arguments but concentrate on encouraging ourselves. Yet you are digging up history here? Are we supposed to be going backwards or forward?

Did I ever say there was never or that there is no racism?

What is wrong with these people mbok?

Encourage what.. platitudes..

We are talkig of the hard cold reality here.. people being killed for nothing other than the colour of their skin

So if you acknowlege that racism exists, why is it difficult for you t understand the consequences of that racism

Donald Sterling a white billionaire denied housing to blacks not because of they could not pay but just their skin

Are you aware

Now you are confusing me ...

Anyway let him get a lawyer

Anacksunamun: And Sweetlemon couldn't figure out the White racist was insulting her race and calling her a "wild animal." I couldn't believe my eyes that Sweetlemon cosinged his insults on her race. SMH.

Yes strange... that Badboy seems to be a troll

Sweetlemon: Ok ok. Most is a tad too strong here. I should have said many.

See, I just don't want to start saying stuff against my own race. I want to do more encouraging than castigating else I would have posted some links to prove that many black have at one time or the other been a member of of gang or the other.

Let's just leave that one alone and encourage ourselves instead.

I actually will like to see those links as they are lies being recycled by racists

I am showing you evidence from FBI page and you are finding it difficult to believe

If you had mentioned incarceration rates, then you may have had something to go on.. but now not so sure

I ask you again.. are you aware of the history of Black Americans and their struggle fo determination
Are you aware of pivotal events siuch as Little Rock Nine, Selma March, 1 million march to Washington

Are you aware of Mohammed Ali's statement of not drafting in the Viet war


If you do not know where you are coming from, how can you know where you going to - Exodus (Bob Marley)

carefreewannabe: If you think that a young child is most times better off with the mother then you believe that most mothers are good. You have made a generalisation.

Implicit in your line of thinking is that a good woman makes a good mother,,, not so
bad people have been known to be excellent mothers

A woman by virtue of her sex is usually suited to be a more suited to raise a child so young. This is not rocket science

Be more specific. What has a lawyer got to do with remarriage? What do you mean by transfer?

The custody arrangment should consider what will happen when she decides to remarry. Some kids go to the father etc
Transfer - say she is transferred by virtue of work or gets a new job

PassingShot: Good you agree with the others.
Anyway nice discussing with you. Take care.

if i may ask what is your view on child marriage

Anacksunamun: School her!! She made a baseless assertion and when she's rebuked, she turned it around on us. She generalised firstly, then used "most" which is a fat lie pulled from thin air.

carefreewannabe: You have just quoted my question and answered it.

Good to know you think MAJORITY of all mothers are good.

Ok.. no problem.. Thats why i agreed with you... implies being the key word

On your friend

Let him reach out to his exwife and see how what they can do

Then let him get a lawyer involved to include other scenarios - transfer, remarriage etc

carefreewannabe: Are your financial issues so bad that your wife considers selling herself?

They are not married.. more like cohabiting..

reelup1: I need your most sincere advise.Things are not moving fine financially,we have a girl 4 years old,we have not done court marriage,we have arguements but not violent querels,she got fed- up ,not that i do not give money but its not enough to cater for the home,she is a very hardworking lady and she support the family,she is stubborn and lack gud marriage virtues,i get annoyed easily too but we are working on our weaknesses.

Your post is incoherent
How can she be supportive of the family yet you say she is stubborn and lack good marriageable virtues

carefreewannabe: The belief that a young child is always better with the mom implies that most mothers are good mothers, right?

Implies...yes

Your question/point is...?

Sweetlemon: Kindly not that I said "most" let me rephrase. Most blacks have belonged to one gang or the other at one time or the other.

Most? And still i ask you, what is the basis of this assertion


Did u even go the FBI page i posted

Are you aware that blacks were segregated against from Lincolns' war till the 1960s..

Are u aware your brother is a beneficiary of immigration policies as a result of fathers like MLK, Malcolm X, Belafonte etc

carefreewannabe: I think that the mother should not take away the child from the father. The reason she gives does not justify the relocation.

hmmm.. fair enough.. has he reached out to her to see if something can be worked out

For me.. a child that young is mostly always better with th mom

Sweetlemon: Don't get me wrong please. I never generalized. Besides, there are more whites than blacks there.

So what is the basis of your statement that blacks are gangsters or are criminals
Your words below..

Most of them belong to one gang or the other who fight and bully other blacks. Plus they don't just send Africans. As for many of the black girls, choi!

Anacksunamun: @Embolden, I never said she shouldn't speak. All I was saying is that she shouldn't be using some imaginary benchmark to judge when Shymex should or shouldn't speak. She's the one agitating for Shymex not to speak on this, not me saying she shouldn't speak on the matter of discourse.

ok.. no p

Ok.. before i answer you.. what do you think about this case?

carefreewannabe: Do you know if he wanted the divorce?

Have you never seen couples that take care of their children TOGETHER despite a divorce?



She said she wants to be closer to her mother again. This is her only reason.

Do you know the woman? Are all mothers good mothers? Do all mothers take good care of their kids?

It's a girl.

Sweetlemon: All of you thinking that black guys are sweet, innocent, harmless people. I'm so sorry for you.

As a black African, you are safer living in the midst of white Americans than black Americans. You will be so shocked at what the average black guy has done before his 12th birthday! Most of them belong to one gang or the other who fight and bully other blacks. Plus they don't just send Africans. As for many of the black girls, choi!

Stay there!

Don't worry you won't understand until you go see things for yourself or if you have family and friends there.

Violence exists in the hearts of all humans, black or white

Do you have issues with black people or just AAs

Where did you get information backing this up

Are you aware you are recycling the same garbage spouted by conservative and racist forums

Are you aware that whites overshadow blacks in violent crimes by a factor of 3 to 1 yet blacks are incarcerated in larger number

Total as at 2011 (Offenses in the US) - 9,499,725

White - 6,578,133

Black - 2,697,539

American Indian or Alaskan Native - 142,422

Asian or Pacific Islander - 81,631

See FBI link for reference http://www.fbi.gov/about-us/cjis/ucr/crime-in-the-u.s/2011/crime-in-the-u.s.-2011/tables/table-43

Anacksunamun: Maybe, it is; but doesn't deserve to speak out against the heartless killing of an unarmed teen?

he has the right to speak. this is an online forum just as she also has the right to speak.

The issue is when you translate a struggle few Africans can relate with to all Africans in addition to his perceived contempt (real or not) for the same Africans

- this was made very clear by Nihilist. Aficans have issues they face and survival is critical for them.

The killing of Brown was tragic.. ditto the guy choked to death in NYC

Police brutality has no place in the modern era, especially one this needless

Tragic loss of life

carefreewannabe: He wants the child to have a mother and a father that the child sees on a regular and frequent basis.

The mother of the child did not move closer to her mom to be able to work.

What is "the bigger pix"?

If he wanted the child to have the two parents, then maybe he should not have divorced

If she did not move closer to mom for work issues or child care.. do you have an idea why she moved

in my opinion, Bigger pix here means a child under 8 is better with the mom.. why fight with her when the kid is under 2

Whats the sex of the kid

carefreewannabe: Do you suggest taking the child away from the mother or do you suggest forcing the mother to come back?

You ve not answered ,y question

What does he want

However since the kid is less than 2y old, it's best left with the mom

Having her close to mom may allow her to work as single moms have issues with child care

He should calm down and look at the big pix

she likes you but know you are not serious

She wants someone to mary.. finis

Beats me....

carefreewannabe: When they got divorced, the mother was still in the same place and did not mention going away.

Well.. i dont understand why something like this would have been ignored
Most of the abuse children face are actually from step parents

She may re marry.. he too may

Does he want the kid with him"?
They should go back to court to discuss custody arranagement

It means his moral authority is questionable

Anacksunamun: You are the one that have comprehension issues. Do you think I don't know Shymex and the way he talks down on Nigerians sometimes? Of course I do. When he's making some of his degrading posts on Nigerians, it peeves me. But it doesn't mean he ain't black or shouldn't speak out against injustice. Granted some of his posts are insultive to Nigerian ladies, what does his keeping mute over killing of Blacks indiscriminately got to do with this thread?

Are you trying to compare his VERBAL attacks on Nigerian girls (mind you, he doesn't attack ALL Black women) with the KILLING of an unarmed teen? What's the sense in that?

carefreewannabe: No terms of seperation, it all went down the ugly way. They share custody.

If it was legal.. there must have been custody arrangements
What did the lawyers discuss?

what were the terms of the seperation

what were the terms of the seperation

Was it shared or full custody