CoderX:

By the time there's no food in circulation, all of you will wise up... Keep shouting there.

Thugs have already started taking over and robbing people. It's getting too much and we need to stop for a while to see what the govt will do.

Even me. I not understand. why trying to disrupt economic activities? is sars at the airport? this protest is beginning to look like it has another hidden agenda.

You can pray for anything, and if you have faith, you will receive it.
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭21:22‬ ‭NLT‬‬

In the very words of Jesus, we can ask for anything and we receive. Anything! Does this mean Jesus is a genie that responds to our every whims? Like we could just make any prayer request and receive it? If Jesus promised us anything, why then do we not receive?

One thing we must understand is, as new creation believers, everything we need to function here on earth has been given to us. It is similar to the Father making deposits in a bank for you. Then all you need to do when you have a need is to go withdraw in the place of prayer.

But you can only withdraw from what is available in your account. You cannot withdraw outside His will.

Let me take you back to Psalm 37:4. it says, delight in the Lord and He would grant you the desires of your heart. A true delight in Him causes us to take our sights off of what we want in order to long for what He desires. We are to draw nearer to Him in fellowship, immerse ourselves in His Word, and walk in His will as His desires automatically become ours. We empty ourselves to be full of Him.

So the cravings we harbour are petitions that would further the establishment of the kingdom of God here on earth.

Therefore, with a desire that replicates the heart of God, whatever you ask for in prayer would be given to you.

“But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted!”
‭‭John‬ ‭15:7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

The Lord is close to all who call on him, yes, to all who call on him in truth. He grants the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cries for help and rescues them.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭145:18-19‬ ‭NLT‬‬

There are days I thank God for ’’Unanswered prayers’. My life would have been a hot mess if God responded to my every whim. More so, the deeper you mature in your relationship with Christ, you realize some prayer points you have are not necessary and are outside His plan for you. First, we seek the kingdom and every other thing aligns. This is the will of the Father for us. Our hearts must be purified so it is in harmony with the will of God.

God listens to the godly person who does his will. He hears the prayer of those willing to obey Him. Many of us stay in contrary situations and pray for God to bless us in our disobedience. Sorry, but it doesn’t work that way.

The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right, and his ears are open to their prayers. But the Lord turns his face against those who do evil.””

‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭3:12‬ ‭NLT‬

When we walk in His will, our confidence in Him is deeply rooted. We can boast of our faith in His promises. Therefore, regardless of how tough the journey may get, our conviction that He hears us when we call remains unshaken.

“And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for.”
‭‭1 John‬ ‭5:14-15‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Some blessings may be delayed because God is waiting for us to mature, to level up. He does this out of love not because He wants to deny us answers. No good thing will he withhold from us because we love him.

Also, You may not have received it because the time has not come yet. Something good given at an inappropriate time can be destructive. In this case, we gain access to our heavenly account at the right time.

Life is a big responsibility and Father won’t hand over to us a prize we cannot carry. Peradventure, our roots don’t run deep, the size of fruits may overwhelm us.

So the blessing is in the blessing delivered at the right time when it would be wholly appreciated, well utilized and ultimately bring glory to God’s name.

Friends, search your heart. Do your desires mirror Him? The Father wants us to incline our hearts to Him. Those who seek and trust God would prosper within His will.

The request you are asking God for, is your heart ready to receive it? Would you cherish it and handle with care when it arrives your doorstep?

God answers prayers. I have seen this in my life, time and time again. All we need to do is work with His timing, surrender our will, be open-minded and when the answers arrive, we would understand that His thoughts for us are a Galaxy away from what we can ever hope for ourselves.

Sometimes, we may be praying for a mat to lay our head but God wants us to take two steps further and see the bed He has made out for us. Therefore, know that whatever He brings our way is in our best interest in order to see our lives bring glory to His name.

https://musingsandroses./2020/09/09/ask-and-receive-prayers-that-work/

Love means jumping off a cliff and trusting that a certain person would be there to catch you at the bottom. Jodi Picoult

Trust, according to the dictionary is a firm belief in the reliability, truth or ability of someone or something. Trust is essential in relationships as good relationships thrive on it.

Trust is creating an enabling environment in which your partner could feel safe with you. It is the confidence that your partner won’t bail out on you in difficult times. It is taking the leap without seeing what is on the other side.

Trust in a relationship are two persons who make the needs of each other a top priority therefore giving your partner a sense of importance and the assurance that you would come through when you are needed.

Trust is to a relationship what oxygen is to us. The quality of a relationship either diminishes or improves based on the degree of trust invested in it. Therefore, if the aim is to forge great relationships, we must be willing to put in the work required. We must come prepared to lay aside our bias, break down the walls, bare our souls and open our hearts.

Without trust, it is all chaos and dysfunction. Everyday is a nightmare because you don’t know what to expect. You literally walk around with an emotional shield that would prevent Iove from blossoming.

Trust is hardwork. Trust is risk too. We may not have all the answers but are willing to give it a shot. Trust grows from our willingness to learn more about our partner. There is no love without trust. I trust you because I trust you and I love you because I trust you.

Words alone do not carry the weight necessary to build, there are other essential building blocks required.

Couple. laughing
Here are four ways you can build trust in your relationship.

TRANSPARENCY

Tranparency implies honesty and being able to bring up any issues that concern you knowing your partner will be open and willing to talk about these issues and communicate. It is the willingness to share your day to day details with your partner especially in relevant areas that may cause friction in future.

VULNERABILITY

Vulnerability bridges the gap between two individuals and by it, forms the strongest of bonds. It is the basis of true intimacy and intimacy builds trust. Many of us weren’t taught how to express our feelings. Sometimes we may have let our guard down in the past and got our heartbroken and as a result go through life, guarded, stifled and bottled up. Never saying what you truly feel.

Vulnerability is consciously choosing to NOT hide your emotions or desires from your partner.

That’s it. You willingly express your thoughts, feelings, desires, and opinions regardless of what others might think of you. To share experiences invites your partner to see right into your soul. They can understand what tickles you or drives you off the edge. As a person, to open up to another means you are okay with yourself and can deal with the consequences. You love someone? Say it. Your boundaries were crossed? why not tell your partner? Your emotional needs are not being met? Let them know.

Stop trying to be perfect or look perfect. No one is. Allow your desires to be known. Let your rough edges be seen. Accept the rejection that may come and move ahead. Rejection may seem hard to swallow but nothing is more dreadful than carrying around the extra weight of your emotional shield.

FORGIVENESS

Just because we love someone does not mean they can not unintentionally hurt us. Don’t forget, we are humans. Fallible. Susceptible to mistakes. So it is pertinent we make room in our hearts to Forgive our partner. Don’t let it get in the way of your trust. If you decide to remain in the situation, then we must be willing to lay down the grudges so it doesn’t mess with the process.

SHOW SUPPORT

A person can freely open up to you if you have shown them through your words and actions that you would always have their back no matter what. It is creating a no judgment-free zone and which would draw them closer and give them the emotional pillars to let down their guard. Be willing to communicate and talk things over.

Be Sensitive. Sometimes these moments may come as an outlandish remark or comment, they may be testing the waters in order to weigh your reaction and then you sneer or make some remarks, that is it. Just as a snail recoils back into its shell when poked, they climb back into their emotional fortress.

It may seem like a lot of work to do but that is the point. Good relationships take lots of conscious efforts to build and sustain. If you love your partner. going the extra mile to gain their trust shouldn’t be an issue for you.

When a couple has built a solid partnership on trust, they are free to be their authentic selves. Gaining trust takes time, and trust is a choice. The presence of trust is a fertile ground for relationships to bloom to their full potential. Are you committed?

To trust is not a walk in the park. But when we decide to love someone, we must have faith to trust them to come through for us.

Love is commitment. To be totally devoted to sowing the right seeds into your relationship. To treat your partner with tenderness and care. To place them at your topmost priority. By so doing, trust would happen. Remember you can never fully say you love someone if you don’t trust them.

https://musingsandroses./2020/08/15/how-to-build-trust-in-a-relationship/

AsomughaChuks05:
Literacy is not by buying degrees. When he speaks, you would close your ears. Sounds like Chris Uba. No difference

You who can speak well, what have you done with it? What achievements has it brought to you? How do you mock the way a person talks?

Tell me what your speech has brought to your life. please.

Veiniously:
i posted a comment on the blog .......is this your blog? If so u have a good audience why are you hosting on wordpress i mean you can make good cash with those audience

Yes it is mine!
Thank you!

I returned, and saw under the sun. that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.

‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭9:11‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Recently, my friends and I celebrated one of us who just secured a job with an international agency. It came with mouth-watering benefits. And out of nowhere, someone started complaining. When would it be my turn? This person does not even work as hard as I do. God when? I was about to say something but stopped myself midway. No need. It dawned on me that this is how many people feel when faced with the success of others.

They ask, ’when would my turn come? When would I get the chance to show the world my gifts! When would all my hard work pay off? God When When When!!!.

Or worse still, list all the reasons they think makes the person undeserving of such favour. Hold on for a second! Should we be doing this? Tearing the blessings of another down? I know we all want a better life but C’mon, we have to wait for our time.

In due time! Time and chance would happen to us all. The Hebrew word for “time” is the word eth, meaning time or season. The Hebrew words for “chance happen” are pega qarah. Together with eth, they illustrate a picture not of accidental incidents, but “right happenings” that are dependent on the Father’s plan.

It is not luck. I don’t believe in luck. In the kingdom of God, events unfold by God’s orchestration.

It might not happen immediately. As a matter of fact, it could be in 5.10,15 years. There is no telling when. One thing is for sure, it must materialize. And when it does, would you be ready?

Storytime- let’s go all the way back to 1Sam 17. The story of David and Goliath. Most of us can tell this story in our sleep. At least for me, it was one of the most popular stories in SUNDAY school. But as I studied the chapter, something jumped right out. DAVID didn’t wake up to go kill Goliath. No! There was a preparation before the manifestation. A series of events had happened which lead up to that moment. More noteworthy is the fact that God chose David from the beginning. So his life was tailored in such a way that the word of God would see fulfilment.

And it brought this defining verse back to me that God chose us too. “You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name.”
‭‭John‬ ‭15:16‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Beloved do you see this? God has called us according to His purpose and would always turn situations to work for our good. DAVID achieved success and fulfilled the calling upon his life but not without his part to play. Therefore, even as we wait, let’s consider some of the characteristics that played a major role.

David was vast. He was a harp player, a shepherd boy, wise beyond his years. Therefore whenever there was an opening or a platform, he was called upon.

David was patient. After Samuel anointed him, David went back into the field. He didn’t abandon his duty to try to become king immediately or go look for someone that would talk to people to make him King. He knew his time would come one day. So he bid his time. God had ordained it and would certainly bring it to pass.

The gift of a man makes way for him. would you pause? Come close to God. He is your plug. If He has deposited a blessing in you to be a blessing, your platform would come. Your time would come. You cannot force it. What you can do is pray and make moves in preparation.

Many people wear themselves out running from pillar to post, looking for people to elevate them. Seeking help in all the wrong places whilst Ignoring the leading of God. And In a bid, compromise their faith, get depressed and perpetually unhappy. All for what?

DAVID provided value. Offer value and people would seek you out. Light cannot be hidden. We would always gravitate towards those who can solve our problems. Provide solutions and watch doors open unto you.

DAVID was sensitive. He knew when an opportunity to serve stared at him right in his face and didn’t fail to capitalize on it. He was in the right place at the right time with the right mindset.

Though he was misjudged by his brothers and labelled proud and deceitful. To them, he had no business meddling or being on the battlefield. Nevertheless, David wasn’t deterred but kept asking until his curiosity got the attention of the king. Focus and determination!

If the Holy Spirit prompts you to take action, block your ears to the naysayer. There would be people who would attempt to devalue you, ridicule you, question your intention but keep moving forward. You answer first to God. Only a manufacturer can determine the capacity and potential of His product. If you buy a product from Mercedes, do you go to Toyota to obtain user instruction? Good, your endorsement comes from the Father alone.

Don’t let negativity bully you into silence. You might look stupid and overzealous to them but that is not your headache to suffer.

David was confident. Think about it! What would make little David want to challenge a giant? He has never been to war. It is true he killed a bear but was that enough experience? That is a function of faith and the power of the Spirit at work. When the Spirit of God comes upon you, He equips you with boldness to carry out the task He has entrusted in your hands. Your trust in God would push you to take the risk that would bring about a major transformation in your life. We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.” —Chuck Swindoll

David had overwhelming confidence in God. He believed God was with him. If we live according to the promise of Christ, I would never leave you nor forsake you, We have no reason to be afraid.

Keep your axe sharp so when you are called upon to fell the tree, you won’t be found wanting.

Life can be dull and uninspiring some days, I go through the motion myself but above this, we have a responsibility to keep a sharp cutting edge. Our tenacity to remain keen and place an unwavering focus on God ensures we see and eat the food fruit in this land of the living

We must note that lack of preparedness can cost us our chance. if our eyes and sensitivity are taken to slumber, we would be unable to see this opening even if it stares right at us.

We all have something to offer and a place to put it to good use. The wheel of fortune would spin in our direction at the right time. Your today isn’t what your life would look like forever. Better days are coming. For you. For us all.

So for now, enjoy the space between where you are right now and where you want to be. At the right time, God would make it happen.

I leave with this,

“So be strong and courageous, all you who put your hope in the Lord!”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭31:24‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Stay Blessed

Good decision

As life goes by, I have realised that we are what we do everyday. Self- improvement does not happen at once- It is a step we take every day. And over time, it builds into sustainable habits. Therefore, here is a list of helpful pointers I have discovered that can improve your quality of life;;




1. The more you give (time, money, resources, love, forgiveness, kindness, Grace, patience etc) to others, the more you get back. Give and it shall be given unto you, good measures pressed down, shaken together and running over.’




2. Be a solution provider and opportunities would flock to you




3. I am learning to keep an open mind. To be able to learn from people I disagree with. To understand the why behind their perspective. There are a couple of absolute truth for me like Jesus died on the cross and He is my Lord ord and personal Saviour. That is not debatable but some other conceptions can evolve.




4. I am starting to pay better attention to people. I remember names, place of origin and other little significant details.



5. I am being more intentional with care. At least I try to call my parents every other day and keep in touch with my siblings daily.




6. Pay compliments to random people. A while ago before the lockdown, I met a lady in an elevator looking forlorn so I quickly scanned her and saw she had really beautiful curves and legs and I don't hesitate to tell her. It made her smile. I don't know the burden that might have made her weary but at least, I have planted a good seed for her to dwell on. So I scored a point there.




7. Worry less. You would feel more relaxed. Jesus, take the wheel' is my motto. Nothing in life is worth worrying over. If worrying can change the situation then.



8. Take better responsibility: I don't blame the traffic for getting to work late, I should have been up early or calculated better, I don't blame someone else for my anger. They might have offended me but I choose to be offended or not. I make more improvements when I focus on me and how my actions affect me and people around me.



9. When angry, channel the energy into another productive channel. For example, I clean the house when I feel the adrenaline pumping. At the end of the day, I would not have the energy to sustain the anger.



10. Embrace your body as a whole. You don't choose what to love and parts to hide. Love you just as God has made you. He makes no mistakes.



11. I run from the herd mentality. If the crowd is going one way, I go the opposite way.




12. Ignorance can cause you unnecessary pain. You endure things you can change. Always seek knowledge. Read to improve. Learn a new thing. You can read at least a chapter of a book every day, Bible inclusive. podcast and audiobooks are also good alternatives.


13. Health is truly wealth. I am very particular about what I eat. In the absence of illness out of our control, My body depends on how much I take care of it. So it is good I think twice before i order the cheeseburger, I also try to eat less processed sugar, fried foods. No smoking. What is the point in consuming what won't give the body any nourishment whatsoever?




14. I drink water often and mind my business.



15. Friendships cannot be forced. I don't do forced relationships anymore. I love everyone with the love of God but sit only at tables I am invited to.





16. Life is too short so I don't take it serious likewise eternity is too long, i am preparing for it too.




17. Find your voice. If you know the truth, hold on to it. People would likely hate you, criticise or try to stop you but it doesn't matter. Hold fast.


18. Boldness would take you far.



19. Keep a journal - You become more mindful of day to day events. And little miracles or changes that escaped your notice would appear glaring once you start taking notes.



20. Love the people around you like it is their last day. Don't hold back. Give care and kindness. It is a seed sown that would be highly rewarding.



21. Practise gratitude. It works magic on inner peace.



22. Spend quality time with your spouse/ Children. Those memories are priceless.


23. Happiness is not a destination. It is what we do and how we perceive where we are now.




24. Do one nice thing for yourself at least every week. It could be a foot rub, a massage, your favourite dish etc. Resist the temptation to put it off. You deserve it. Do it now.




25. Let your yes be yes and your no is no.



26. People-pleasing is an unpleasant place to be. It will end in steaming tears.



27. Bear no grudge. Bitterness erodes the sweetness of the soul.



28. Have boundaries and make people respect them. If you don't look out for yourself, who would?



29. Discipline, not motivation gets work done.


30. Life is no smooth sail. We live in an imperfect world so there would be times we go down a sloppy train or struggle to navigate jagged areas. What happens to us do not matter as much as how we let it affect us and our takeaway from it.


31. Choose your battles wisely. It is not in your ability to fight but what you are fighting for.
What do you think about the tips? Feel free to add yours.
‬‬


















https://musingsandroses./2020/05/23/31-tips-i-learned-that-has-improved-my-life/

Kennydoc:


Hope you haven't forgotten that these people are refugees. If Nigerian citizens are finding it difficult to feed in their home land, how much more will refugees struggle?

There is no justification for the madness of these men. It's better they tell the young girls that they can't help out. It's very simple. Forcing them to have sex with you because you are in a position to help them is devilish.



This is one of the reasons why the Church is extremely important. I am talking about men and women who genuinely pursue godliness and purity, not just those who go to church yet are very immoral. It takes a godly person to help another person in need without expecting anything in return.

Thank you! I cannot believe a human being encourages the molestation of a little girl in the name of nothing goes for nothing.
I am scared for our society.
Paedophiles everywhere

Dshocker:
This was caused by oil spillage

No it is not. It is affecting only one species. And then again the pus filled boil is sign of an infection.

Hello Friends, How have you been since the outbreak?


In the city where I live, there has been a lockdown. So you only go out to buy essential items. Invariably, for the most part, we are indoors.

As an introvert, self-imposed isolation has been a part of my life so this period seems to bounce off me. 
Nonetheless, not being able to go out and having to maintain social distancing can take a huge toll on anyone. Even for introverts.


A pandemic is an invisible disaster, yet its effects are just as real. Awareness of how traumatic occurrences impact us can enable us to manage our lives better. So how should we respond to this difficult time? 
We build resilience.
The beauty of the brain is the ability to stretch and adapt to situations. Therefore, we can grow through this.



The recent events have reminded all of us that we can’t control everything in our lives. The only thing we can control now is our wellbeing, Spiritual/Physical/ Mental/Emotional. Things can spiral out of control if we focus all our thoughts on what would happen tomorrow because truly, no one knows how long this would carry on. Some are predicting the next 12months or more. Dwelling on such details would only make you sad. 



Best we can do is focus on now, what we should eat today, the exercise routine and any other daily activity you do. Day after day, it would get easier. You would begin to feel a sense of control and stability. I understand some days you are energetic and just want to be productive and other days, cooping up on your bed feels like the next best thing after chocolate. It is okay too. You don't have to beat yourself up or fuss over little things. 



Personally, it feels like time goes by so fast. I wake up and it is 7 am and before I realize it, it is 5 pm. What has happened? is time suddenly moving faster than it did before the isolation? 
No. What happened is, our social structure has collapsed.

Normally, we have a place for work, to unwind, to meet with friends and to worship. Now, things are different, we do it all in one place. So in order to stay sane, we must find a way to pause with work, spend time with those around us while taking care of our mental health. 


There are also things we can do to help us manage the emotional impact. Taking control and managing stress is key.



How to reduce boredom



1. Try to maintain your daily routine. Wake up in the morning, brush your teeth and take a bath. Wear good clothes. Eat well. Exercise. Even a simple walk around your house is ok. Anything that keeps you active.



List of activities you can do.



a. Make a playlist of your favourite songs



b. You can play brain tasking games like crossword puzzles, scrabble amongst others



c. Develop new recipes


d. Rearrange, redecorate and clean your home as often as you desire. 


e. Start a journal. Write down what you feel every day. 



f. If you work from home, carve out a different space for work. Have a time frame so work does not spill into your me-time.



g. Daydream. 


h. Improve on your spirituality 




2. If you have kids, engage them in activities. there are online school materials, you can give them exercises to do. You could also lookup online tutors who can teach when you are preoccupied. 


3. if you are isolated with family, remember you don't have to be together all the time. It is okay to have your me-time. You can plan and execute activities together and also do others by yourself.


4. If you are alone, it is essential to take time away from social media and soaking in the news. You can binge watch tv shows but try not to overdo it so it doesn't create lethargy. There are other healthy distractions like completing a task you have been putting off. 
How can we deal with loneliness during this time?


5. Keep in touch. With friends, family, neighbours, church community. Quality interaction makes a difference. it can still elicit the feeling of togetherness with our loved ones though you may be apart.


6. Reach out to give and receive support. More than anything, this is a time for us to be selfless. When we do things for others, it takes our mind off our own needs.


7. To those who are unavoidably quarantined with an abusive partner, parent or friend, try to give as much distance as possible. Create your space. Be nice and calm. Let nobody steal your peace. Do the best you can but remember not to burn out.


8. Whatever you do, pls don't try to rekindle a dead relationship. Don't call up that ex or go back to the same person who has total disregard for your feelings. Isolation has a way of messing with your head to make you think you need them but you don't. Please don't! Leave them be. And if they try to reach out, a simple, Hi, thanks for checking on me’ would suffice. There is life after now. Let's remember that. 



Remember, coping with excessive alcohol or drugs is counterproductive. You would not want to be struggling with a poisoned system after this. 
We are strong. We can do this. And we would get through this together.
We are #alonetogether

Be brave

Stay safe.

P.S. How is it in your city?

Source - https://musingsandroses./2020/04/16/covid19-how-to-cope-in-isolation/

brudiga:

Good. They should do quick and kill them all

Do you have sense at all? Do you think it is only politicians who work in Nationap assembly? or your blind hatred has blocked your reasoning

Oh! the bliss of being in love. It is inexplicable and incomparable. It just makes you want to extend beyond all you are and know.
Love is beautiful but relationships are not easy. It is common to settle into a routine when we become used to someone in the process neglecting to do the very things that brought you two together. Monotony is an enemy of romance.

Love like every other thing requires nourishment to keep fresh and blooming.


Practically, it is not necessarily possible to feel lovey-dovey every day. Real life happens. Duties, chores, engagements and what have you but despite this, there are simple ways to keep the romance alive.


Here are proven tips you could use to fan the flames in your relationship.


1. The act of being thoughtful
Plan dates.
Once a week date at least, away from distractions and outside interference, will go a long way in stirring warmth in the heart of your significant other and staying in tune with each other.


Be present


It is true life gets in the way and cause us to sometimes forget what is most important to us but we should be reminded that money, work, events or functions will come and go many of which you may not even remember but the memories we make from spending quality time with people who matter most to us will eternally be imprinted in our hearts.

Make efforts to be there. Show up when you are needed.
Give gifts randomly.

It doesn't have to be your anniversary in order to buy that lovely bracelet or nice footwear for your significant other. Giving gifts without a reason goes a long way to say, 'I am thinking of you'.
It is okay to get awkward

Do things your significant other think is loving even though it may be awkward for you. It could be the not -so interesting work dinner they got invited to and want you to tag along or family Thanksgiving.

In love, it is no longer about I but we.
Consideration without losing yourself.


Have special rituals for your Significant other.
Now maybe the time to give her a foot massage or cut his fingernails. You can decide to take care of chores while the other takes time off.

You can also pick a movie to watch together or attend a game. Find an activity you can do together and bond over it.




2. Constantly remind yourself of all the traits that brought you two together
.

One of the biggest reasons the quality of relationships diminishes overtime is because we shift focus from all the good qualities we saw in the beginning to all the flaws and imperfections.
We begin to see all the negatives constantly and this, in turn, causes friction in the relationship and ultimately lead to breaking up; for what you focus on, you empower and what you empower rules you. Remind yourself daily why you fell in love.
Email your S/O what you love about them.



3. Forgiveness does magic


The build-up of minor offences is a catalyst that can break down a loving relationship. The union will struggle under the weight of the burden of unforgiveness and in turn anger and resentment replaces understanding and fondness.
Out of the abundance of love flows forgiveness.
You cannot shield yourself to real life by trying to create perfection.

There is no perfect person who can do the right things all year round.
The fact is, things will get difficult to process, challenging to handle but regardless of it all - the one you stay with is the one you have promised to love and cherish all your life.
The relationships that scale through are not the ones made of two perfect people but the ones that embrace the imperfections, celebrate their differences, resolve arguments amicably and grow stronger through it.


Learn to let offences go. Sometimes it may be hard, other times easy, at each point, keep in view what truly matters. The health of your relationship or keeping scores?


4. Take care of yourself


As you take care of yourself, you show the other person you still care enough about the relationship to be mindful of your appearance and overall health. This is not asking you to go do something drastic but simple changes here and there goes a long way.


5 Love your Significant other


This is a very essential point. With love comes understanding, kindness, tolerance and forbearance. Love is a sacrifice. We keep sacrificing and don't keep records. We reinvent new ways to love every day to spice things up.
A beautiful relationship is made up of 100/100 per cent efforts from both parties.
There are days when one will have to make up for the other but the general rule of thumb is both parties should be willing to give their best shot in making it work.



Speak the love language of your S/O.
Let your S/O know you adore them. Don't hold back. Life is too short not to say I love you and mean it!
Appreciate the little things they do. Support and encourage them.

Relationships only bloom where they are watered. A simple 'I love you' text randomly does wonders.
Finally, be kind to yourself and be kind to your significant other. Little steps in the right direction will make a remarkable difference in your union in the long run.




https://musingsandroses.

“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!”
Galatians‬ ‭5:22-23‬ ‭NLT‬‬


Self -control as a fruit of the Spirit is a word we are all very familiar with but it is one thing to know and another to practise.
Just before we delve in further, let's refresh;
What is self- control?


It is the propensity to rein in our emotions and desires in the face of temptation and wild impulses. It is a necessary cognitive function we use to train our minds. Simply put, controlling our actions, setting boundaries.
Self-control to a Christian is not about exercising our will power till we get burned out and give in but to subject ourselves to be led by Christ.

To live a Spirit-controlled life.
For example,
Self-control is not binging on pizza though I feel like it or drinking till you are drunk knowing your liver will suffer.
Self control is not reacting before thinking. Counting consequences before reaction.


Self control is having an exercise plan and sticking to it.

It means resisting the temptation to over-indulge in food.

It prevents you from going on a spending spree and ultimately have to pay through your teeth to offset the debts while you sunk in financial ruin.

It means committing yourself to serve in your local assembly regardless of any flimsy excuse.

It means not sitting at every table of idle chatter you have been invited to.

It means refusing to show your martial arts skills when provoked or lashing out at every single word of offence.


Christians are admonished to come out from the world and be ambassadors and the only way others can know where you stand is by the values your attitude showcase. The mere fact we do not let the winds of passion or desire steer us.



The emphasis on the exercise of self restrain means we are constantly at war with our flesh-controlled desires, so it is essential we fiercely protect our spirit.
“Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away.”
James‬ ‭1:14‬ ‭NLT‬‬
And this;
“I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.”1 Corinthians‬ ‭9:27‬ ‭NLT‬‬


We become more productive in the kingdom of God when we refuse to be led by our impulses.
and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness,
The more you grow like this, the more productive and useful you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.


But those who fail to develop in this way are shortsighted or blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their old sins.”
2 Peter‬ ‭1:6, 8-9‬ ‭NLT‬‬
What happens when we lack self control?
“A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls.”
Proverbs‬ ‭25:28‬ ‭NLT‬‬


A city with broken walls is vulnerable to attack of any kind.
In the same vein, a Christian who has not mastered self control is susceptible to attack's from the enemy the devil.
The enemy comes in areas you are weakest in. He will bring temptations (impatience, anger, gluttony etc) your way knowing you don't have the discipline to resist it and each time we yield, the devil wins.
I understand sometimes we just have to let it out.

They must know how you feel. You must do what you want but holdup!
Is it in line with God's word?
We don't react because our body itches us to or it makes us feel temporarily good. No! Self-control is not purposed to get you comfortable but shift you to a higher level of Spirit-control. Subject every thought and desire to the word of God.
It is a snare to act on our desires and impulses as the flesh may mislead us.


This is why we have been admonished to die to self daily. Obviously not a one time thing but a trait we have to enforce anytime we are faced with decisions to make.
“You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything.”
1 Corinthians‬ ‭6:12‬ ‭NLT‬‬


Where are the areas in our lives we struggle?


a. Our thoughts

b. Our words

c. Our Actions


How can we develop self control?

1. Catch your thoughts
The journey starts by regulating our thoughts. Once our thoughts are fixed , every other thing will fall in place. This is why the scripture encourages us to renew our mind daily by study and meditation of the word of God.
It reforms our thought process and instils in us the discipline of Christ.
The truth is, when we change our perspective about something, it influences our feelings and consequently actions towards it whether good or bad.


2. Rely on the HolySpirit at all times.
As followers of Christ, we are upheld to a higher standard than the rest of the world therefore, it will be impossible to rely merely on our mental and physical strength to navigate bumps of temptations.


Truth be told, some situations push us beyond our will power and string us till the last straw of our patience is broken. Ultimately, the only way we can overcome is by drawing from a strength bigger than us. The strength which comes from the Almighty.
Self control is an active gift of the HolySpirit and we need to intentionally exercise it . The more we use it, the stronger it gets.


3. Avoid triggers


There are situations that may cause us to stumble, avoid them.
If impossible to avoid, look away mentally.
Try to walk away from unnecessary arguments or exchange of words. The world will not end if you do.
Do good always. You don't have to feel like it.


Living in obedience to Christ means successful subjecting yourself totally to Him and His words. The word of God is a seed in us that bears the fruit of self-control. Studying and meditation will do you a lot of good. 


We do not live for ourselves only but to make God known in us and to all. It is about intentionally choosing a path of righteousness which may not be easy always to walk through but will certainly glorify the name of God.



Now is the time dear friends to pick up yourself and work like a truly disciplined soldier of Christ. It will save you lots of future regrets and awkward positions ( Imagine when you have to apologise for running your mouth 5seconds ago. Not fun)

Remember the absence of self- restraint is a Godless life overload.


Repair your walls and protect your city.
I pray God- the enabler of men strengthens us to rise above our weaknesses and glory in His power.

Stay blessed.

https://musingsandroses.

I have seen people have significant improvement in the treatment of acne after quitting oily foods.
Stress can cause breakouts. Have you heard of hormonal acne?
Makeup can cause acne no matter how good the makeup is.
The bacteria that causes acne thrives in an anaerobic environment and when we apply makeup, our face cannot breathe, it depletes oxygen supply, thereby increasing the risk of a breakout.

I can go on and on to dispute all you wrote but let's leave it herd

The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was: “If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?” But the good Samaritan reversed the question: “If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?” – Martin Luther King Jr

I figure your impulsive response will be , Yes. Of course. I am.

But,

What if there is more to serving God beyond professing Him as our Lord and Saviour and attending church services?

According to a scripture, those who call upon the name of the Lord must worship God in Spirit and in truth. Let’s break this down.

What does it mean to worship him in truth? Simply put, to be an embodiment of His word in this world. We all desire The crown of righteousness but guess what, it comes with the cross of Christ attached.

To actually be as He has purposed, we are required to fully yield to Christ and His words. You cannot say you love God yet find it difficult to adhere to His commandments;

Which is;

“Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment.

And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭22:37-39‬ ‭KJV‬‬


“For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love.

For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Galatians‬ ‭5:13-14‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Love your neighbour as your self.

Who is our neighbour?

In what ways can we perform this love?

HOSPITALITY
“Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it!”

Hebrews‬ ‭13:2‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Remember the miracle of the 5 loaves and 2 fishes? Yes! That was Jesus unwilling to send away those who were hungry without doing something physical about their situation.

Everyday we go to church is an opportunity to extend our resources to others. It could be prayers, material things, visitation amongst other things. No matter how bad you think your situation is, there are people you are more privileged than. Extend a hand of fellowship.

There are people who are super depressed and sad because they think nobody loves them. They feel alone in this world. It is your duty as a believer to seek out these people and reach out to them.

“For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’


Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality?


Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’”

Matthew‬ ‭25:35-40‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“Remember those in prison, as if you were there yourself. Remember also those being mistreated, as if you felt their pain in your own bodies.”

Hebrews‬ ‭13:3‬ ‭NLT‬‬

FORGIVENESS
Forgiveness is a proof of love in you. Forgiveness brings peace. A loving heart bears no grudge.

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

Ephesians‬ ‭4:31-32‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Jesus was clear on how many times we are to forgive when wronged. Over and over again. Forgive and you shall be forgiven. Your source of love flows from the Almighty God so you will never run out of the grace to forgive no matter how grave the offence is.

“Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4:2‬ ‭NLT‬‬

AVOID BEING STUCK UP
Through out the life of Christ, we read about His fellowship with people. He never thought anyone too low or filthy to come to Him.

Many ‘Christians’ today are full of vile. They walk around with this air of superiority and snort their nose at anyone they think is a sinner. They are proud and believe their word is law. These set of persons can spend hours teaching the bible but will refuse to offer a friend a helping hand in the same breathe even when it is within their power. Be generous towards the poor.

““When you harvest the crops of your land, do not harvest the grain along the edges of your fields, and do not pick up what the harvesters drop. It is the same with your grape crop—do not strip every last bunch of grapes from the vines, and do not pick up the grapes that fall to the ground. Leave them for the poor and the foreigners living among you. I am the Lord your God.”

Leviticus‬ ‭19:9-10‬ ‭NLT‬‬

DESIST FROM HARBOURING HATRED AGAINST ANOTHER
“Anyone who claims to live in God’s light and hates a brother or sister is still in the dark. It’s the person who loves brother and sister who dwells in God’s light and doesn’t block the light from others.

But whoever hates is still in the dark, stumbles around in the dark, doesn’t know which end is up, blinded by the darkness.”

1 John‬ ‭2:9-11‬ ‭MSG‬‬

A Christian has no business bullying people on social media or in real life, You should not go about slandering people or fighting. Defend what the bible says is right firmly but kindly. A good conduct is expected from every true follower of Christ anywhere you are.

“But if you are always biting and devouring one another, watch out! Beware of destroying one another.”

Galatians‬ ‭5:15‬ ‭NLT‬‬

KINDNESS IS A VIRTUE
On one of the days I go for evangelism, I came across a man who I told about the love of Christ and invited him to church. But my Spirit was heavy when I was about to leave, I tried to fathom why. Then suddenly it came to me. I asked him where he was going, he replied he was trekking to work because of insufficient funds to take a cab. I gave him what I had and asked him to also get some food from it because I figured he had not eaten.

Up till date, i vividly recall his excitement and tears. He told me no one had done him this good before. I know no matter what happens to him tomorrow, how difficult life may get for him, and he is tempted to give up, the memory of the lady who showed him a physical representation of God’s love will strengthen him and keep him from giving up. Random acts of kindness preach the gospel better. Kindness is never wasted.

Since God is unseen to our physical eyes, every act of service towards another is an act of service to God.

Do you realise that in many cases, your lifestyle and attitude is the only bible some people will ever read? And if they do, will it send them further away from Christ or closer to Him? Let this sink in.

Do unto others as you want to be done unto you- if there are many of us who abide by the rule, a lot of evil going on in the world today would cease to be.

Let the love of Christ flow through you not only in words but in deeds. Serve God faithfully, diligently and acceptably.

I leave you with this words;

“And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.”

Colossians‬ ‭3:17‬ ‭NLT‬‬

https://musingsandroses./2019/06/08/are-you-truly-serving-god/

Hello guys! What are the best books on relationships you have read? Mine is;

The 5 love languages by Gary Chapman

Act like a lady, think like a man by Steve harvey

Why men marry bit*he's by Sherry Argov

To have and to hold by Nancy Van Pelt.

List yours below

An emotionally unavailable guy is the one who is not ready to go the extra mile of depth with you. He prefers to float without strong roots and any form of deeper intimacy initiated by you pushes him away.

Emotionally unavailable guys are either married, engaged, in a relationship or single. It also include people who have been hurt in previous relationships and are scared to risk opening up again, recently divorced or widowed and workaholics.

Initially, it can be all sweet and loving as he tells you of his past and present issues, feelings and desire to be in a loving relationship and it seems like an easy peas for you but before you fall for this, remember, desire is not the same as action. People can want one thing but do something entirely different.

That being said, How can you spot an emotionally unavailable guy? Here are a few tips to guide you;

1. He is never really there
He shows up only when it is convenient for him not when you need him. You will never find him when you want to take that job interview, fix a leaking sink or when you are having a meltdown but he will show up when bored or decides he needs your company.

2. His actions are inconsistent
He never follows through plans. You have become so accustomed to him calling you up last minute to cancel dates or appointments. He has a bag filled with excuses to explain all his shortcomings with no intention to make up for it.

3. Intimate conversations and vulnerability are not his thing
I don’t think I have known someone more evasive than an unavailable guy. Questions like ‘what are your plans for the future’ pricks him because to him, it translates to ‘when are we getting married’ or maybe you are trying to get him to open up and hit a brick wall.
4. He invent situations to create distance so you don’t come close.
When it feels like a bond is developing, He will come up with tactics to upset things so as to push you away. He can employ anger, the very effective weapon and blame you for countless offences so as to have a reason to ask for space to think.

He indulges in a lot of activities whether relevant or irrelevant in order to have reasons not to see you or spend time with you. He will tell you he has to wait for the sky to turn green before he can come see you which will never happen.
5. He disconnects when he feels triggered by you.

As he does not understand why he experiences the emotions he does with you, his primary reaction will be to pull away. When you converse in person, he will be unable to maintain eye contact with you, slow to reply messages and will constantly whine about being busy or tired.

6. He hardly acknowledges his feelings with you.

He will always act like he is fine. Everything is okay. It is all in your head. You will hardly hear ‘I love you’ because he won’t say it and if he does, it comes out detached.

7.There is a pattern to how past relationships end.

When a guy says, his last relationship fizzled out, find out why. If someone is laid back about his relationship and do not make efforts, it is bound to fizzle out. Read between the lines. Though in some cases, the guy learns from his mistakes and want to do better with the next lady, many others don’t.

8.You always come second
You are the one He comes to when his hangout with the guys didn’t work out or when he has nothing else doing. You are not in his plans. Initially, maybe but later on, it stops. You never feel like a priority because truly you are not.

9. He comes on strong and goes cold
Do you ever feel like you had this amazing weekend with him and for the next two weeks, he disappears?

No text or call and when you try to reach out, you get this emotionless response that makes you begin to wonder if you are dealing with multiple guys.

He gives you just enough to hook you then he pulls away. He is actively interested in one kind of intimacy but shy away from the other.

10. He is dismissive of your feelings
Words like, ‘too sensitive, emotional, crazy, too serious’ will be very familiar to you because He uses them to shut down your feelings whenever you try to raise genuine concerns about him or the relationship. And if you are not careful, you begin to believe him overtime.

The longing and need we all have that is filled with the presence of a loving partner will always be unmet as intimacy scares him and he is not able give it to you. You end up feeling alone, rejected, unimportant and depressed.

The truth is, we know, 99% of the time. We only choose to ignore it and decide we can change him. We always feel his actions don’t match up to his intentions. Wrong move. (Are you a mind reader?)

Painfully, we fall in love with ‘what he can be” and not what he actually is. So despite knowing all this, why do we get involved with emotionally unavailable men?

Do any of this signs resonate with you or someone you know? Are there points you want to add from experiences you have had? Let me know .

https://musingsandroses./2019/05/23/how-to-deal-with-an-emotionally-unavailable-guy/

Our body is the Temple of God so we like need to take care of it as we do our soul.

Health is wealth and this may sound like a cliché but it is definitely not. Our longevity and vitality is hugely dependent on how well we take care of our bodies. Simply put, be kind to your body and it will be kind to you.

The food we eat, the drinks we consume, the activities we do or not do, all play a vital role in the support of our body system running optimally.

Personally, i am still on the journey to wholeness and right living but i am going to share with you a few tips i have inculcated into my daily life for a better health. So here they are;

1. Eat well

This point cannot be overemphasised. Our body is made up of trillions of cells. Our cells rejuvenate periodically and also carry metabolic functions which requires fuel. This fuel is gotten from the foods we eat in the form of nutrients. Our cells also replaces and repairs itself based on the type of fuel it receives.

We are aware of the damage bad fuel do to our engines so imagine the damage we cause our bodies when we feed on junk and unbalanced diet. I understand finances, work can get in the way, we come back so tired and not in the mood to think of healthy foods but it is critical we make this a priority.

I replaced fizzy drinks and store bought fruit juices with homemade green smoothies and noticed a difference in my body.

Also my use of oil have been limited to the barest minimum. I bake my plantain and potatoes rather than fry them.

I have limited my intake of pasta and noodles because they are processed food and processed foods have been stripped of their nutrients due to the rigorous steps used in producing them and the heat they are subjected to. Regardless of what the manufacturers say, it is a no-no.

I have different recipes i use in food preparation to ensure my body gets its required nutrients from each meal i have. Be a picky eater. Don't just put anything into your mouth. What we eat and gow we feel are linked.

2. Limit stress

Life is hard, we struggle to make ends meet, pursue our dreams amongst many other goals so it is easy to get caught up in this unending cycle of stress. All hope is not lost. We can take control of our lives. One thing i say all the time of which i am also guilty of is 'Don't take on more than you can handle at once'.

It is okay to say no, there is nothing to feel guilty about. I also try to leave for my appointments early enough so i don't get stressed out hurrying to the venue and panicking if i will be late or not. I know there are unforseen events which can get in the way but we can tie up the loose knots on our end.

I meditate at least 15mins everyday. Turnoff my phones, tv set, any form of fistraction and just be. Sometimes, with a soft music playing while other times i prefer silence. However you wish to do yours, try to meditate if not everyday but at least once a week a start. You can also eatch comedy videos, it helps.

3. Get quality sleep

The duration and quality of your sleep will determine how refreshed and energized you feel the morning after.

The body repairs itself when we sleep amd it will be unable to do so if we don't know sleep well.

Tips to help you sleep better:-

A. Don't sleep with the TV on.

B. Make sure to keep your phone aside at least one hour before bedtime.

C. Avoid alcohol before bedtime. Intialy, it may seem like you have fallen into a deep sleep but later on at night, your sleep becomes light abd it may have you toss and turn all night.

D. Coffee before bedtime is a culprit. The caffeine keeps you alert and unable to fall into a deep sleep.

E. Give yourself a break.

Over activity can prevent you from having a good rest. Going to the gym and apending hours and hours daily can lead to an increase in the production of cortisol( Stress hormone) , moodiness and depression. Know when to stop.

F. Overeating will cause you great discomfort. Avoid eating till you are full. Eat a portion and do it 2 hours before you sleep.

4. Choose water as a drink.

You can never go wrong drinking water. The benefits of drinking enough water includes system detox and keeping our bodies hydrated. So drink as much as you can daily. Don't wait till you get thirsty before you drink, drink at intervals.

5. Get active

Exercise increases blood circulation and helps you relax whilst keeping your body in top condition. You may not necessarily go to the gym to get a good workouts. You can make little changes like using the stairs instead of lifts, parking your car a away from the entrance so you can walk a distance, take a stroll every evening. Dance if you can, what ever activity can cause your heart to beat fast, do it.

6. Be happy

The joy that flows from within you is greater than any prevailing circumstances. Learn to be intentionally happy and life will get better for you.
https://musingsandroses./2019/05/14/small-steps-that-lead-to-a-healthier-you/

Today, we celebrate good friday to mark the death of Jesus Christ which was the greatest act of grace.
In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;

Ephesians 1:7 KJV

It is worthy to not that without the death of Jesus, salvation to mankind would not have been made possible. He made the ultimate sacrifice.

We see the triune God of most holy love purposing from all eternity to redeem sinners for himself. Before we ever considered repentance, God was a step further in His plan to bring is closer to Him in Christ.
According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:

Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will,

Ephesians 1:4‭-‬5 KJV

And this;
Who verily was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these last times for you,

1 Peter 1:20 KJV

God revealed His love for us that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.

Romans 5:8 NLT

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son. The Father requires no conviction or persuasion by the Son to love us. Christ Jesus did not bring love but came to manifest the great love of God for us.
Indeed, the Father loves the Son because the Son willingly lays down his life for his sheep, just as the Father desires.
“I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me, just as my Father knows me and I know the Father. So I sacrifice my life for the sheep. “The Father loves me because I sacrifice my life so I may take it back again.

John 10:14‭-‬15‭, ‬17 NLT

Jesus Christ achieved this by the enablement of the Spirit as stated in the book of Hebrew.
Just think how much more the blood of Christ will purify our consciences from sinful deeds so that we can worship the living God. For by the power of the eternal Spirit, Christ offered himself to God as a perfectsacrifice for our sins.

Hebrews 9:14 NLT

This further strengthens the doctrine of trinity. The triune- Father, Son amd Spirit working unanimously to bring to pass the salvation of sinners.

The death of Christ did not move God from wrath to love, rather He’s moved by love to satisfy his wrath against us by removing our guilt and enmity through the blood of His cross.

Whatever else we may see or understand , we must bear in mind that mercy and grace are God’s idea and accomplishment.

The death of Christ brought victory over the powers of sin, death, and Satan.
For the sin of this one man, Adam, caused death to rule over many. But even greater is God’s wonderful grace and his gift of righteousness, for all who receive it will live in triumph over sin and death through this one man, Jesus Christ.

Romans 5:17 NLT

The goodnews is not just about the reconciliation between God and us, though beautifully gracious but also about its payout in liberating God’s people from the clutches of his enemies. The apostle John tells us the same Christ who came to make atonement for sin
He himself is the sacrifice that atones for our sins—and not only our sins but the sins of all the world.

1 John 2:2 NLT
also came to destroy the works of the devil 1John3:8.

As a result of the death of atonement, Satan , the accuser of the brethren has lost his power to bring a charge against the elect of God as we jave been sanctified by his blood.
Then I heard a loud voice shouting across the heavens, “It has come at last— salvation and power and the Kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers and sisters has been thrown down to earth— the one who accuses them before our God day and night.

And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony. And they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die.

Revelation 12:10‭-‬11 NLT

In the same vein, we have also been set free from the fear of death and delivered from guilt.
Because God’s children are human beings—made of flesh and blood—the Son also became flesh and blood. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the devil, who had the power of death.

Only in this way could he set free all who have lived their lives as slaves to the fear of dying.

Hebrews 2:14‭-‬15 NLT

Finally,
I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat is planted in the soil and dies, it remains alone. But its death will produce many new kernels—a plentiful harvest of new lives.

John 12:24 NLT

Not just his words, The very life of Jesus is a parable.
So lets bear this in mind as we mark the holy day.

Stay blessed


https://musingsandroses./2019/04/19/the-mystery-of-the-cross/

I love you without knowing how or when or from where. I love you straightforwardly without complexities or pride; so i love you because i know no other way than this; where i do not exist nor you...Pablo Neruda

I have always wondered at this question. Why do we feel what we feel or do what we do? What do we term love relationship and why is it so important?

God is love and because we have God in us, we are bound to love.

When it comes to our love interest, what drives us or moves us into believing we can gain more happiness in the bosom of another?

Motive - an important factor before starting a relationship.

Why do we desire a relationship? To find someone who makes us happy? So we don't end up alone?. These are good reasons which i can't cancel off because we have primal needs as humans but if this is the primary motive of getting into a relationship, it has failed even before it started.

When we say, i love you, what do we mean?

Are we saying, i have finally found someone to fulfill all my needs or i care about another person and their needs as much as i do mine to want a relationship with them so i can be present in their lives?

When we go into a relationship with this expectation of what we want from our partner and how it should be given to us, no matter what the other person does, it will never be enough because it does not match this ideal picture we have formed in your head. Yes, we all should have standards of behaviour we expect from someone we desire to spend the rest of our lives with but when does this standard become unrealistic?

Is love intentional or spontaneous? Do we just wake up one morning and fall in love like modern dating seem to portray? As we can see that many examples of what is referred to as love today is mere infatuation.

Love is not dictated by feelings. It goes being that. Love as God portrays gives without debt. It does not keep scores of all the things it has done and needs to be paid back.

When we 'fall in love' , we easily can also somersault out of love because in the first place, it wasn't love to begin with.

The fundamental quality of love(peace and fulfillment) can only be fully realized if we go into relationships with the desire to share the love we have within us.

Wrong motives is the reason some relationship have bitter fights and ultimately end.
People who enjoy peaceful relationships are fully aware that loving their partner does not include indiscriminate complains, umending nags, comstant accusations, aggression and insults.
Love encourages, ever kind, patient, forbearing, full of goodness and warmth. Zest and passion. Love is magical. Genuine romance happens when two people show they are ready to care for each other
You are ready to give love once you can give acceptance,understanding,kindness,support,care ,encouragement.

You know you are ready when you can appreciate and celebrate your partner for who they are without an iota of condemnation.

You may be thinking you don't have this magnitude of love in you, not true my friend. We all do. We just leave it buried. Now is the time to reach deep within and uncover the richness of love you have. Breathe it, Live it and Give it.

When love is gifted in the real sense of its meaning, it opens a whole new world in our relationships. You become happier together as you both mature in all ramificatioms of life:- physically, materially, emotionally and spiritually, simply put,the best in both of you is manifested.

Stronger together, right?

I am certain by now, we all know the side of love we want to be on.

Begging to receive love or to give from the unlimited supply we have within us? Where do you stand?

Stay blessed

You are Loved ���

Angel

https://musingsandroses./2019/04/18/why-do-we-fall-in-love/

Many of us are familiar with this situation. You have split up but ex would just not stop calling. They blow up your phone with calls and messages. Want to hang out. Do all the same things you did while in the relationship.

At first glance, this seems flattering. Probably they are still very much in love with you, finally realized your worth and want you back. Hold up! This might not be the case. Read on...
https://musingsandroses./2019/04/03/you-have-broken-up-but-your-ex-wont-let-go/

TarOrfeek:


Yesterday I lost my phone and laptop of nearly 300k

I lost it helping a pregnant runs woman.

I know that God is trying to humble me. But God she for thief only my power bank....

My laptop has everything in it.

I am so sorry. I lost a gold chain worth a lot of money too while helping out someone. I decided rather than mourn it, I see it that the thief will get to eat and i pray for their soul.

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33 NLT

One of the most important part of being a Christian is knowing that it does not make us immune to life's troubles and struggles.

As Christians, God never promised us a hitch-free ride all the way. In fact, the scripture says, many are the afflictions of the righteous but the Lord delivers them from it all. It is easy for us to question the goodness and greatness of God when things go awry.

You can still be doing things right and suffer.
Therefore, those who are ill-treated and suffer in accordance with the will of God must [continue to] do right and commit their souls [for safe-keeping] to the faithful Creator.

1 PETER 4:19 AMP

So yes, why does God allow us go through trials? Does it mean He does not love us? Certainly not! God's love for us is unquestionable. Here are reasons why we may get afflicted

1. Afflictions teach us perseverance
Consider it nothing but joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you fall into various trials. Be assured that the testing of your faith [through experience] produces endurance [leading to spiritual maturity, and inner peace]. And let endurance have its perfect result and do a thorough work, so that you may be perfect and completely developed [in your faith], lacking in nothing.

JAMES 1:2‭-‬4 AMP

2. Trials increase our knowledge and they help us learn God’s Word.
It is good for me that I have been afflicted, That I may learn Your statutes.

PSALMS 119:71 AMP

3. To discipline us
Hebrews 12:5-11 “And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says, “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”

4. Sometimes our trials come as a result of our mistakes

Honestly speaking, i have taken wrong steps at certain periods of my life and neglected the word of God and i have had to deal with the consequences. If you commit murder, you go to jail. Bad lifestyle choices can cause sickness. God forgives us but we still have to face the natural consequences of our actions.
Proverbs 19:2-3 “Desire without knowledge is not good– how much more will hasty feet miss the way! A person’s own folly leads to their ruin, yet their heart rages against the LORD.”
For every person will have to bear [with patience] his own burden [of faults and shortcomings for which he alone is responsible].

GALATIANS 6:5 AMP

But despite our mistakes, God still finds a way to use it for a greater good.

5. To keep you humble
even though I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud.

2 Corinthians 12:7 NLT

As humans, we may tend to forget the inportance of humility in our daily walk as Christians so we sometimes face situations which tends to put us in check so we don't fall to destruction.

6. To partake in the sufferings of Christ and be more like Him.
Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world.

If you are insulted because you bear the name of Christ, you will be blessed, for the glorious Spirit of God rests upon you. If you suffer, however, it must not be for murder, stealing, making trouble, or prying into other people’s affairs. But it is no shame to suffer for being a Christian. Praise God for the privilege of being called by his name!

1 Peter 4:12‭-‬16 NLT

In suffering, the life of Christ is more visible in us as Christ was heavily persecuted while on earth.
We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.

Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.2 Corinthians 4:8‭-‬10 NLT

7. To develop strength of character
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.

And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

Romans 5:3‭-‬5 NLT

8. To be more empathetic about the plight of others
He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation!

For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer.

2 Corinthians 1:4‭-‬6 NLT

I know it seems when we are in troubled times, the world should stop and focus on us, afterall, you are in pains. On the contrary, this is an opportunity to reach out to those who might be passing through something similar and encourage them. Whether you are grieving the death of a loved one or the marriage has unravelled. Helping others gives us an upliftment of Spirit.

9. For eternal glory
That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!

So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

2 Corinthians 4:16‭-‬18 NLT

A process unto santification. To purify us.
So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold.

So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.1 Peter 1:6‭-‬7 NLT

What happens after?

Blessed [happy, spiritually prosperous, favored by God] is the man who is steadfast under trial and perseveres when tempted; for when he has passed the test and been approved, he will receive the [victor’s] crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.JAMES 1:12 AMP

Finally friends, all things work together for good to them that are in Christ Jesus. I know it may not seem that way when we are plagued by adversity but nevertheless hold on to the word of God. It is the only assurance. Don't let the devil convince you otherwise.

We all face storms in life, some more difficult than the others. But we all go through trials and tribulations, that is why we have the gift of faith. -Joyce Meyer

Stay blessed
https://musingsandroses./2019/03/31/reasons-why-god-allows-trials-and-tribulations/

What is Salvation?

In the old testament, salvation was more physical. It meant victory in battles and freedom from captors. After 430 years in Egypt, the Isrealites were saved through Moses. Exodus 1 - 12.

Esther was a tool used by God to bring salvation to the jews. There are many other examples which depicts salvation.

In the new testament, it is seen as a spiritual awakening and process. The rebirth of our spirit man.
That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;

And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.

Ephesians 4:22‭-‬24 KJV

Before Salvation was the sin nature.

This nature produces bad fruits--
Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,

Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

Galatians 5:19‭-‬21 KJV

This nature caused a separation between us and God.
But your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear.

Isaiah 59:2 KJV

Humans could not communicate directly with God without a priest who first had to offer sacrifices for his sin and theirs before going into the inner court . Imagine the process! Thank God for the blood of Jesus.

What does it mean to be saved?

To be saved means turning away from a life that is without God, a life based on our selfish whims and desires.

To be saved means to be rescued from God’s wrath and condemnation
But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. And since we have been made right in God’s sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us from God’s condemnation.

For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son.Romans 5:8‭-‬10 NLT

By His death, Jesus reconciled us to God. The veil of separation was torn. And by His resurrection, we are given a new life in Him. We become new creatures
He saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit.

He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior. Because of his grace he made us right in his sight and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life.

Titus 3:5‭-‬7 NLT

Essence of salvation: The big 3

Saved by grace through faith. Ephesians 2:8

1. Grace
For the grace of God has been revealed, bringing salvation to all people. And we are instructed to turn from godless living and sinful pleasures. We should live in this evil world with wisdom, righteousness, and devotion to God.Titus 2:11‭-‬12 NLT

Salvation by grace, this is Christ paying our debts with His blood undeserved. This is God proving His love for us through His gift of salvation.
For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this, not because we deserved it, but because that was his plan from before the beginning of time—to show us his grace through Christ Jesus. 2 Timothy 1:9 NLT

Our works could never have qualified us.
He saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior. Because of his grace he made us right in his sight and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life.

Titus 3:5‭-‬7 NLT

2. Faith

Faith is an instrument throufh which we receive salvation.
That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life.

John 3:15 KJV

When we believe, we accept the redemption provided for us by the blood through grace.
But these are written, that ye might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing ye might have life through his name.

John 20:31 KJV

3. Good works.

Believers are not saved by Christ for the liberty of selfish deeds but unto goodworks.

Mind you, we don't earn salvation by good works, we do good because of our new nature of righteousness. It becomes the fruits we produce as a result of salvation.
But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared, Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;

Titus 3:4‭-‬5 KJV

How can you be saved?

Christ is saying;
Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.Revelation 3:20 KJV

You believe in His name- John 1:12
And brought them out, and said, Sirs, what must I do to be saved? And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house.

Acts 16:30‭-‬31 KJV

Confess and believe
That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.

Romans 10:9-10 KJV

Is there another way to be saved?

Jesus is the only way
Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.John 14:6 KJV

Here again;
Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.

Acts 4:12 KJV

What happens when we become saved?

After you repent and receive Jesus as our Lord and personal Saviour:-

a. You become the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus.
For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.

2 Corinthians 5:21 KJV

b. We have Jesus as our high priest who mediates and intercedes for us before God.
Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession.

Hebrews 4:14 KJV

c. We become children of the most High God.
But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.

John 1:12‭-‬13 KJV

d. We begin to enjoy the promises attached to righteousness.
The righteous shall inherit the land, and dwell therein for ever. The mouth of the righteous speaketh wisdom, and his tongue talketh of judgment. But the salvation of the righteous is of the Lord : he is their strength in the time of trouble.

And the Lord shall help them, and deliver them: he shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in him.

Psalms 37:29‭-‬30‭, ‬39‭-‬40 KJV

Dear friends, embrace salvation today and start living in the richness of the kingdom.

Stay blessed

https://musingsandroses./2019/03/24/salvation-its-significance-to-christianity/

TO WALK AWAY OR TRY HARDER?
March 19, 2019
Let us forget with generosity those who cannot love us -Pablo Neruda

Love is unconditional but a relationship requires nuturing to work and flourish. Give and take, we both give and take. Many atimes expectations are not met because we require them from people who are not capable of meeting it.

You have to realise that people can only give what they have or are willing to give. For example, you might decide to borrow #300 from someone who has #50, they will be unable to give you because they don’t have or someone with #500 will give you only #50 because that is what they are willing to give.

In the same vein, someone you desire to act better towards you might not do no matter how much you talk for two reasons; It is either they don’t know how to or are unwilling to.

In this case, you have to identify which is the root. They can learn if they have no prior knowledge as childhood upbringing and environmental influences affects how much we know and how we relate with people closest to us.

If it is the issue of unwillingness, it might be time to take a step back.

You can love someone despite their shortcomings but you cannot make up for it.

That is their choice to make and you are also not obligated to wait around till they make up their mind.

The longer you stay with someone who only seeks to take from you, the more depleted your energy becomes.

Sometimes, we wish for things from someone who will never give it to us. We are stuck in this ‘if only ‘ phase. If only they can love us more, treat us better, if only they can be more sensitive to our needs, tend to us, if only they can show us more warmth. If only they can be committed to you. Maybe, just maybe, things will be better. But it is a destructive phase as you will end up miserable and sad because these expectations will never be met.

What they are giving now is what they are willing to. You cannot convince them otherwise so it is up to you to decide if you want to soend your life miserable and unhappy waiting for the change that will never come.

Only someone who loves you will make changes to keep you.

Love is selfless, seeks for the good of the other person. Any love that cannot give time, energy, money, resources, efforts, concern to you is not real and should not be taken serious.

The perpetual takers are leeches and won’t leave you until nothing is left of you.

Regardless of how much you think you love them, you must love you first with the same energy and even more.

You need to get to a level of self love in which you will realise how precious you are and how you deserve to be treated. Trash or Treasure?

Leaving a low – input, one – sided relationship is actually a big win for you.

So the ball is in your court. What do you want? How much are you willing to take before you put your foot down? It is never too late to make the decision.

Feel free to share your experiences in the comments. Waiting to hear from you.

https://musingsandroses./2019/03/19/to-walk-away-or-try-harder/

We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.

Hebrew 12.2 NLT

There is a cloud of uncertainty hovering in this world. It is like a wind trying to sweep away everything in its path. In spite of this, as Christians, we can only stand fast when we keep our eyes on Jesus.

To keep your eyes fixed on Jesus simply means to have such a deep connection wuth Him that every other thing about you aligns with Him. You lose this alignment when you lose focus.

There are two ways we can tend to lose focus on Jesus

1. When we let the world define who we are, what we do and how we should be.
Your eye is like a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is filled with light.

23. But when your eye is unhealthy, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you actually think you have is darkness, how deep that darkness is!

Matthew 6: 22&23

Before anything corrupts the body, we have to see it first either through our physical eyes or mind eyes. Our eyes is like the compass of the body, once it is fixed right, everything falls into place.

On the other hand, if it constantly darts from one place to other with no focus, the body will stumble. Our eye becomes unhealthy when we attend exclusively to things of this world with no consideration for God.

Though we are in the world but not of the world. At all times, we need to be reminded of the purpose why we were placed on this earth. We shouldn't lose focus of our assignment or get carried away by the actions of others.

We cannot serve two masters. We cannot follow the world and still remain in God. The world has its ideas of how we should look, feel, act, be, so it is easy to get entagled by the world's distraction. Who we are and will ever be can only be found in Christ Jesus.

To let situations or people keep us away from Him.

2. Trying to let our circumstances swallow us and dictate for us how to feel and act.

In this world, there will be trials and tribulations but fear not, for i have overcomed the world.

The disciples would have chosen to focus on Jesus with them in the boat but they choose to dwell on the raging storm. Jesus was there with them but they were fearful.

This is a perfect example of how we live our lives, Regardless of the promise to be with us at all times, we fret and struggle when a mountain confronts us.

How can these things distract us?

A. By taking up time meant for the study of the word. The word is strength and we we longer go there to draw power, we necome weakened and susceptible to backsliding.

B. Occupying our mind so much and we forget to pray.

Yielding to distractions

Many of us are so trapped by our phones and social media that we don't have time to worship.

Personally, i barely watch TV. It is so distracting. From watching an hour program, you get drawn in and before you realize it, hours have passed by.

Anything that takes up your time and emotions has become a god to you. Note this.

Peter was successfully walking on the water until he took his eyes off Jesus, then he began to sink.

When you take focus off yourself and your trials to Jesus, your life becomes easier because you will feel a level of peace that will drown out the chaos going on around you.
They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the Lord to care for them.

Psalms 112:7 NLT

Forget the past, stop hanging around people that undermines your faith. It can make you lose focus.
No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,

I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

Philippians 3:13‭-‬14 NLT

Keeping your eyes on Jesus means turning away from a world that urges you to do more, be more, a world that qualifies your worth on material possessions. It means knowing Him more, to focus on who He is and His promises to us.
Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand.

Colossians 3:1 NLT

It means looking for Him in everyday mundane details, trusting in Him to intercede for you when you are too weak to pray, mediatating on a scripture a day at least, giving thanks to him all day long regardless of the prevailing situation.

It means seeking for His opinion before making major or minor decisions.

It means involving Him in all you do as the author and finisher of your faith.

To fix your eyes on Jesus means to be a light in this dark world. To be the one people can come to and know about the love of Christ through your acts of kindness. It means evolving into all you were called to be.

It is not too late to shift your focus back to Him.

Please, Say this prayer with me

Blessed Father,

There are many temptations, trials and distractions in the world but i have got my eyes fixed on you. All i am is You. All i ever pray to be is your vessel unto honour.

Help me to get rid of things or cut off relationships that do not glorify you. Seperare me from things or people that keep me from you. Take me to a place of total surrender to your will and choices. Amen.

Finally, let this verse sink in
Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you. Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path. Don’t get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil.

Proverbs 4:25‭-‬27 NLT

Before i go, i want you to share what situatons recently which might have caused you to take your eyes of Jesus. How did you overcome it?

Feel free to like and share.



Stay blessed


https://musingsandroses./2019/03/16/keep-your-eyes-on-jesus/

I like relationships and being in love.But i also like being single. You have to embrace all those different things - Dominic Monaghan

Each time someone comes up to me to ask when i will be getting married, i always have one response which is,

'when i meet the right person'

And they go, you must be very selective, you should not be too picky, you know a woman is like a flower, she blooms in the morning and withers at night. The older you get, the lesser your choices. Lol. If i had a nickel for the number of times i have been told that.

Here is my response to them,

First of all, marrriage is a lifetime institution, i need to take my time in making a choice so as not to jump in and jump out. Yes, I desire to fall in love and be married but i am not in a hurry. I don't need surface relationships, I crave depth, the deepest of connection.

2. I am still growing.

There are things i know i need to learn before hooking up with a man in order to be the best version of myself. I am learning who i am, my likes and dislikes, the good, bad and ugly, my strengths and weaknesses, insecurities. It does not necessarily mean i have to be perfect before marriage but to smoothen out rough edges and become the woman i truly need to be.

This is important as many potentially great relationships have broken down because we carry unresolved baggages into new beginnings. Cleaning out my closet will enable me make better decisions.

3. My being too picky does not border on superficial things but important character i cannot compromise on. I want the full package. I desire stability, commitment over potentials and action over words, kindness and empathy, compatibility and compromises.

4. I am working on my visions and goals. I know the kind of life i crave and i am pouring all my energy in order to make it happen.

So yes, being single is not a disease. I know the pressure from mothers, fathers, aunties, uncles, friends and even strangers can be overwhelming and might even cause you to lower your standards but don't.

I know there are the lonely nights, wistful looks when you see couples who look happy together but more than anything, this should strengthen your resolve to wait for the most suitable partner as the worst form of loneliness is to share a bed with someone whose heart is not with you totally. Marriage also does not cure loneliness, That is your battle to conquer.

The people pressuring you will not be there when misery comes knocking from marrying the wrong person. You are responsible for your happiness, you alone. Nobody or no factor should determine that for you.

Unhappy relationship is the cause of many mental health issues we have today.
Never love anyone who treats you like you are ordinary - Oscar Wilde.

Don't let 'you are not getting younger' push you into settling for just anybody. Every one reserves the right to know when they desire to settle down, who they need and to wait till it comes their way. The fear of being alone has pushed a lot of people into not -so- ideal relationships or to remain with someone who makes their lives a living hell.

Contrary to what is being drummed into your ears, you will not end up alone. There is someone for everyone.

In the case you want to be single, it is also not a bad thing. Learn to enjoy your singleness. There is beauty and flavour in every season. You can be happily single.

Your life should not be put on hold because you are waiting for the right one to come along. Enjoy every single day. It is your right.

Happiness is not a destination but an attitude.

One song which comes to mind writing this is;

I hope you dance - Lee Ann Womack.

I really do hope you dance.

It is really about, what do you want? Do you believe?

What are the struggles you are going through and who do you think needs to read this?

Feel free to like, comment and share this article.

https://musingsandroses./2019/03/12/why-am-i-still-single/