₦airaland Forum

LilMissFavvy:
To those who are telling her to stay on her own, did you ask of her age? You think it's that easy, besides if she was a type who can stay on her own, she would not have kids for three different men. Let her go back to her last husband, but should be watchful so that he does not abuse his kids sexually. She should make him promise that he will provide and treat her/kids better. If she thinks her husband can love kids fathered by different men like his own children, then she's a joke. If she wants to take the advice of staying on her own, I can only advice her to watch out, so that she does not become baby mama to husband number-four.

Its essentially because she is the type who can't stay on her own that she needs to do it now. You will never know how strong you are until you cope with something you have never had to do before.

Telling her to go back to a known drunkard is the height of weird. And to be careful? How careful can you be with an alcoholic? She should sit at home with him and the children everyday? That's ridiculous! All he needs to do, all anyone needs to do is to abuse a child once to change the course of that child's life.

If my children mattered to me, I would never ever play that kind of game with them. Keeping them safe and happy would be my goal and a drinking father could not in any way factor into that.

So she has HIV or is a certain age, big deal. I bet you she is stronger than that. She should never be limited by circumstances or compelled to think she could not cope by herself, she can.

So forgive me if I find your post to be enabling clinginess, bad choices and inability to take a stand, but there you it.

Is this story even real? Why so much desperation and neediness?
Why can't you stay by yourself? Why must you be with a man?
If you are financially secure enough, why go back to anyone?

Please and please, stay by yourself, even for a while. Test yourself and see if you won't cope. Let your children see you sustain yourself.
I feel like you don't think too much of yourself hence the reason why you take so much crap from men and keep compromising.
You want to decide between a drunkard and an abuser? Seriously?
What kind of example of strength and womanhood are you setting up for your children?
Is it until one of them starts sexually abusing your children that you will react?

Aunty Friend, please do better.

mrpaedo:
Women!! Don't mind them.They both like fair guys.The reason they said they don't like fair guys is because they think fair guys are never attracted to their dark skins.Pre-emptive strike tactic

Wrong! I don't like fair guys at all. Never been attracted to them. And that's not because i am dark.
I have lots of fair friends who also prefer dark skinned guys.
Light skinned guys often just seem unfinished to me.

Flambo02:
You can relocate. At 27 you aimt a kid just tell her the way she can understand. Your description of your mum and wrong choices is beyong me. Is she also responsible for your 3rd class? Smh

Really? Well, that was one part of his story i could totally relate to. I know way-too-many parents who are exactly like that. Unable to make life enabling decisions when the resources are there and then spend the rest of their lives blaming witches, idols, jealous neighbors, etc for the misfortunes common sense could have prevented.

@OP, if for nothing else, get out of that environment. It will warp your thinking. Soon, you'll be doing vigils against wall geckos and crying cats.

Walk away and hustle your hustle. Also, try and work towards getting your certificate yourself. And don't join bad gang.

Ishilove:
O pari. There you have your answer

It is indeed finished! OP, I don't think there's anything you can do for her. Basically, when girls are circumcised, the whole pleasure point of sex is taken away. She can never enjoy it. She isn't trying to be mean, it just is beyond her. Sex is for you, it does nothing for her.

Advice? I don't know oh.

Aquablue:
I am not a doctor but I have explored the possibility of having children via surrogate
To answer your questions (1)No. The child would take up the genes of the egg and sperm eg Linda ikeji's son was born via surrogate and looks like Linda
2) No , as in 1
3)the intending father donates or from sperm bank if the man lacks sperm eg in azoospermia
4)the entire procedure includes IVF, surrogacy fees, ante and delivery care and will set you back by at least 3m. Check meetsurrogates on IG to get a quote

Linda Ikeji's son through a surrogate?You were the surrogate? Kemi's people!

Too much makeup for a swimwear photoshoot. The girls are overdone.

But Kogi, Lagos, Delta and Edo stood out. Lovely girls, whatever their actual tribes.

intrepidJ:
I can only laugh at you. I know your kind. People like you with your mindset can never go through adversity alive. You are easy prey because you see things in black and white. That finger you use in judging will come back and hunt you down and you will remember this comment.

I'm sorry. After i posted this, i went through other comments and realized you have deeper issues than i initially commented on. Your self esteem and sense of self worth has been battered out of you. You will do anything to earn the love of others and chances are high that it won't be enough. in fact, you will more than likely be seen as a pest because you need constant love, approval and validation. I wish i had an instant solution to make you love yourself or make you take responsibility for whom you have become. I don't so i pray you find peace on the way. Best of luck.

Kylekent59:
This is very childish.

We have other politicians that don't show off. Her family's affair should be discreet and not open to third parties.

They don't even think about the current situations in Nigeria, like killings, armed robbery, kidnappings and other evils in the land.

Thesedays everyone is hiding his ego because of bad people.

Some actions of her life are on the Internet.

However she wanna live her life isn't our business, but just advising she should be prudent.

But she's a child na! What else will she use to validate marrying her father's agemate?

[quote author=intrepidJ post=79314638][/quote]All those beatings must have done more damage than you realise.

Every member of your family us into witchcraft but you escaped?
It hasn't occurred to you that Yahoo on it's own is an invitation to the devil?
What would your victims say about you? Are they praying for you and asking God to grant you grace to scam them again?
Or you must think the fact that you blew means God loves only you, abi?
Continue deluding yourself.

MUSAPLC:
Great nairaland.
Thanks for your wonderful suggestion and comments.
May my covenant father bless you all.
Last week Friday, my demon wife came to pick my son and promised to return him on Sunday .
As am writing this message she have not return back my son.
I have decided to leave our son with her.

covenant father indeed!
The things these people do in God's name. Except he's referring to the demon that gave him a wife.
mtcheew!

Honestly, there's no excuse. You LOCKED your door. That clearly says stay off. He should have no reason or desire to go in there.
For me, the problem isn't even the clothes he took but the breach of boundaries.
He couldnt call you? Send you a message? Seriously! Oh Lord, my siblings know better so do i.
Respect is reciprocal oh! He showed you disrespect first and he ought to apologize for messing with your stuff. But pride and righteous indignation will not let him.
You should talk to him, establish boundaries before saying anything remotely like an apology. If he has any type of pride, he will treat your things with care.

Like seriously!!
How convenient!!!

Very funny. Well, they say there is no such thing as bad publicity. She can take consolation in that right?

I don't feel all that bad for her, despite it all, she seems hard working. It's not exactly easy to locate a house you like, befriend the security, clear area, pick an angle you like and still snap good photos. That in itself takes a level of planning and smarts. She will come through this stronger and with more ambition.

Enuoyan:
Please when is the Federal Government going to announce the public holiday for this wednesday naa, cos I dey hear some funny funny rumour that they are planning to cancel the holiday...Abeg who get any update!!!

Valid question oh

mrjojo:
The fact that she doesn't even give a f.uck about if you eat or not is sign trouble.

Your happiness should matter too, get your pastor or someone she respects involve. If she still doesn't adjust after, I'm afraid to say you need to move on for your own sanity. Your are more useful to your daughter when you are sane

The first part of your post though. I would hate being in such disharmony with my husband oh but any man who thinks it's okay to say no to my food should be prepared to starve, buy food outside or cook himself.

Not because I'm a bad person but I hate ultimatums. Especially from a partner and when a husband says he isn't eating your food, he's throwing down a gauntlet. You either apologise or I will not eat. Never.

That might work with some women but not all. I hate it. If a man tries it with me, I will retire from cooking, seriously. You're hurt, talk about it like a normal human being. But don't reject my food. I don't even like cooking before!

And there in lies my problem with the OP, she threatened to burn the house down, let her burn it now! Imagine. OP is weak, doesn't know how to attend to issues and seems quite petty. Your wife nurses grudges and so do you. How old are you people anyway? Because I'm not understanding your drama at all.

Like someone said, don't run away with her child. Except in the case of abuse or threat to life and wellbeing, parents who do this end up making heroes out of the partner they left behind. Be guided.

Very often, we say people nag a lot when we haven't found out that we ourselves have character flaws.

I'm not saying stay there but chances are if you leave to squat with a friend despite your bad attitude, you will have the same problems. Check yourself first, are your relatives complaints valid? Seriously, sit down and evaluate yourself.

Is it a case of a bad attitude or differences in upbringing and ideologies? If you're sure you are doing everything right, then you can look for alternatives.

If your character is flawed though, you will just make enemies all around. And everyone will be glad to see you leave their house.

Just saying.

I am convinced that the most verbally destructive people are the weakest. This pathetic old woman has made it a mission to cover her pain and disappointment over the blows life dealt her (Rape by her father, according to her, ostracism by her family members, dislike of her children, a failed marriage, a career that has gotten her no where etc) by constantly picking on other people and hurting them repeatedly.

Her stories may be true but sometimes having a conscience means keeping quiet and watching how things play out. Leave Linda Ikeji, what of the things she said and write about Seyi Law's daughter, Davido's mother? Where does she get off? She can deal the cards but can't take it? She's sensitive to insults? Really? Oh well, thank God that God is not like us. People like this will suffer endless pain for their insecurity fueled insults.

As a woman, I'm hard pressed to find anyone she has but up at all, all she does is destroy and then whine like a baby. Her children are old enough l, if she was good enough, why has none of them taken the responsibility of feeding her that we all need to be subjected to her go find me account. Mtcheeeew, abasha!

Let me mind my business and go and sleep jare. I kuku will not send anything, let those who have, give.

Nigerians are so annoying. We complain about something, we want it to stop. The law takes its course and then we start crying for sympathy! Are you people okay? no wonder thieves thrive and yahoo boys run things. We should just let them keep scamming us and destroying any chances we have of establishing a name fore ourselves outside this nation. Mtcheeeew! Left to me, we would cart all these dolts and corrupt politician to jail without trials. We must start somewhere sha.

Kazim88:
Yahoo Yahoo is now the Savior.
To de thief is na the way out.

So sad 90% of Nigerian youths have this mindset.

It is finished.

90%? I don't think so. However, even if it was just 20%, it is still a very dire situation. These stupid children just lie to themselves to rationalise and excuse their actions. How would Nigeria be more violent without Yahoo? They sound like idiots who have no senses.They will also tell you it's revenge against slavery and colonialism. How many of them were enslaved? Why are the older people who were actually colonised not scamming other people? No, it's the young, overfed, underinformed, unexposed, entitled brats who want to fight by stealing and reaping where they did not sow.

Too much celebration of mediocrity in this generation!!

Djdannyb4u:
Chai!!! Jumia don scam me!!!
I just dey the prepare myself for the Thursday 9am Samsung Galaxy A30 flash sale, only to check this morning say dem don remove the A30 & A50.
I dey para pass para right now.

quick question, if i'm buying something during Jumia's flash sales, can i still pay on delivery or do i have to pay when i order?

smilek:
.





Thank you brother

Sister actually.

MyVILLAGEpeople:
So are you trying to blame the father for any girl child waywardness??

No, I'm telling you your fear is unfounded and cowardly. You can have daughters and raise them right. The only people who are scared of raising wayward children are those who aren't prepared to do the work necessary to raise well adjusted individuals.

MyVILLAGEpeople:
This is one of the reasons why men are so damn scared of having a girl child. The ones we have nowadays are nothing to write home about.

Of course, men are scared. Half of you don't know what your child's favourite food is. The problem and fear and you face raising a female child is because you aren't ready to do the work. Raise your daughters right, that's all. It's people's daughters that are graduating as best students nationally and internationally, at basic, advanced and tertiary levels. Do the work.

Louisluksy:
Good morning Nairalanders, i actually joined this forum few minutes ago and this is my first post. Something is bothering me and i'm dying gradually. Please, i seek professional advice on what to do next.
Here is my love story: I Met this beautiful, gorgeous and stunning girl almost a year ago when i went to her school on an assignment. She was everything that i ever wanted in a woman.
Somehow, i manage to get her contact from her and since then, i have been entangled in everlasting bondage of her love. Note: she is actually my first love.
I Become so obsessed with her and i'm always thinking about her every minute. I use to call her like thrice everyday. Sometimes, she would ignore my calls and when i confronted her she always inform me that her phone was charging.
Now, she is ignoring my calls and doesn't even care about me...
I Love her so much and i can do anything for her. I have sent messages, i have even cried for love. Pls, experts in the house, what else can i do? Pls dont mind my English o..

Honestly, you sound scary and overwhelming. What you explained doesn't mean there's another guy involved, just means you're choking. When you're in a relationship with someone, it's important to study them, their love languages and what makes them tick. People aren't the same at all. While one person wants you there all the time, someone prefers much more space.
Unfortunately, you have yourself a woman who doesn't need you calling her all the time and I can relate. Guys who do this get tiring very very quickly. Like...... Don't you have something else to do?
I want to be IN your life not your WHOLE life please. Give her space, talk to her about how she prefers the relationship works, see if it matches your own expectations then give it a go. If she says call me once every 2 days and you can't deal, then you aren't compatible. Marriage will be a disaster as you'll be over giving and instead of her reciprocating, she's silently disgusted or just worn out. Too much attention is a problem for some women.
And you're crying too? O pari! Please, how old are you?

MrBrownJay1:
... her father should ask that "angel" to come back and raise that child too then... ARRANT NONSENSE!!!!

the headline should instead read:
young 15yr old misbehaving child got pregnant by her lover, and due to fear of deceiving her very religious family, she concocted some BS story about being fukced by "angels"

followed by:
sadly her father didnt believe a word she said so beat the Bejesus out of her then crucified her so she could join them angels who impregnated her deluded aaasss.

You didn't read where the doctor said her claims of a virgin pregnancy are technically true, abi? Meaning she has been tested and her hymen is intact.
If the baby is Jesus's child though is something else entirely.
Her family could be staging the drama for attention, money or whatever. IVF isn't impossible on a virgin, is it?
Whatever jor. If the pikin is related to Jesus, we will know later.

livelymatilda22:
Yea..Tobi successfully fvckeed and dumped Alex for your brother to marry.. confrontation

Tell Alex to stop Apologizing to Cee-c upandan like a fool with Low self esteem.. He letter is enough.. Jumping from show to shows apologizing to Cee-c fie to guilty conscience is her fault.

Same Alex went to Cee-c room to beg as usual, Cee-c's sister attended to her and slammed the door on the sorry cry baby... Lol


TELL ALEC TO GO AND COMPLETE HER EDUCATION..... BESTIES DICK SHOULD NOT BE HER PROBLEM.

stephleena:
See dry Lines..as dry as CeCe's ass that looks like a Chinese man's shoes ..

CeCe's fans, make una try gather money make CeCe buy dil..do..it's necessary..

stale jabs!

Both of you are just as ignorant as the girls you're fighting over. Even more so. At least they're making money from it. What's your excuse? Shouting dick.s upandan like 10 kobo prostitutes! SMH

LadySarah:
get out mature man!
Someone who claims its her friend has every answer to what a woman in another marriage is going through?

I ask again,does it add anything to a marriage having your partnners pic splashed all over fb?

I think your answer is wrong. Very often, women suffer challenges and will tell a friend they trust hoping to decipher reasons. I don't believe couples should keep everything to themselves, especially issues that confuse them. Talking to a good friend you trust isn't amiss.
Never underestimate a woman's need to talk about a issue that seems overwhelming to her.

Back to the issue, your friend needs someone to broker a sit down between she and her husband so he can let out his issues. And there are issues. If he put his wife's pictures online by himself and then goes on to take everything off， something is brewing oh and she might not like how it ends.

As a poster said, communicate to him as gently as possible that you cannot afford to feed two mouths right now. Don't allow anyone undermine your feelings, people can be entitled without even being aware of it. It's your food and your money so you have a right to know how it disappears.
What you shouldn't do is talk to the girl. Let your brother do that. Why does a woman have a suicidal man who isn't doing well and still bothers him with her daily feeding anyway? Isn't she aware of his earnings and capabilities? Hmm, woman are trying sha.
Get someone to talk to your brother though. If you're afraid to talk about food to him, then you're in more trouble than you know.

adanny01:
I come to my brothers house and ask his wife can you prepare this or that for my breakfast. How does that become a command, its a question. Can you prepare?

Even if i say i want this or that, i have to end it with a question can you do it?

The can simply say no and i walk out.

For someone to come to your house and ask for food whether prepared or not means he is asking not commanding.

What if the man asks the husband who in turns commands the wife, i think the visitor showed respect by asking directly and the woman should have happily done it.

Anyone i open my mouth and ask for favour should know i respect him. She was respected but she replied with disrespect.

I hope you aren't allergic to pepper?

Honestly though, that isn't how respect works. A lot of us need to go back home and learn courtesy. Your brother's wife is not your wife and even your wife has limits she can endure. I think men believe all married women just love being in the kitchen. They don't. It's not bad to visit someone with alternatives or say "Please, don't bother, I won't stay long" Read the expressions of your host, know when you graduate from friend to nuisance.
Haven't you had friends who helped you in the past but have graduated to big babies? I do. You might be able to bear with them, don't expect others to.
And please, there's nothing honourable about cooking. For some people, it's just work, not fun.

MissRaine69:
Semantics ......It’s childish and she is a borderline psychopath.

Like I said, different strokes. Worked for her.

MissRaine69:
Childish....I have met a fair few. I am cordial as long as they are respectful towards me, after all he knew his friends before me so I don’t play “ the me or them game”
If he is ultra obnoxious friend turns up, what I am wearing is what I am wearing shorts, leggings etc I am not changing worse case scenario .I greet him very nicely as I open the door handbag & car keys in hand i let him in while I let myself out .It’s his friend not mine . I am certainly not going to create a situation where someone might have an adverse reaction and potentially die.

I don't think she's childish. People are different. Some are more outspoken and some are subtle. I would refuse bluntly to cook the second time he came uninvited. Different strokes.
Plus, she's a Muslim. You must have missed it but no man besides their husband or close male relations is allowed to see them without full covering. Hence her resentment. The friend should have known better.
And he deserved everything he got.